Read Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality Online
Authors: Eliezer Yudkowsky
Minerva’s throat was very dry. “He’s
here,
” she gasped. ”
Here,
in
Hogwarts
-”
Then she stopped, because the
reason
Voldemort had come to Hogwarts -
The old wizard glanced at her only briefly, and said, still in that whisper, “I am sorry, Minerva, you were right.”
Harry’s voice was edged. “Right about what?”
“Voldemort’s strongest avenue to life,” Dumbledore said heavily. “The most desirable road for him, by which he would rise greater and more terrible than ever before. It is guarded here, within this castle -”
“Excuse me,” Harry said politely. “Are you stupid?”
“Harry,” she said, but there was no force in her voice.
“I mean, maybe you haven’t noticed this, Headmaster Dumbledore, but this castle is full of
CHILDREN -
”
“
I had no choice!
” bellowed Dumbledore. The blue eyes were blazing now, beneath the half-moon spectacles. “I do not
own
it, that thing which Voldemort desires. It belongs to another, and is held here by
his
consent! I
asked
if it could be kept in the Department of Mysteries. But
he
would not permit that - he said it must be within the wards of Hogwarts, in the place of the Founders’ protection -” Dumbledore passed his hand across his forehead. “No,” the old wizard said in a quieter voice. “I cannot pass this blame to him. He is right. There is too much power in that thing, too much that men desire. I agreed that the trap should be laid behind the wards of Hogwarts, in the place of my own power.” The old wizard bowed his head. “I knew Voldemort would worm his way here somehow, and planned to trap him. I did not think - I did not dream - that he would tarry in an enemy fortress one minute longer than he must.”
“But,” said Severus in some puzzlement, “what would the Dark Lord possibly gain by killing Lucius’s only heir?”
“Point of order,” Harry Potter said, a hard edge in his voice. “The motives of whoever’s behind this are not the primary issue. Our top priority at this point is that an innocent Hogwarts student is in
trouble!
”
The green eyes locked with the blue, as Albus Dumbledore gazed back at the Boy-Who-Lived -
“Quite right, Mr. Potter,” Minerva said, she hadn’t even thought about it, the words just seemed to pop out of her lips. “Albus, who is watching over Miss Granger now?”
“Professor Flitwick has gone to her,” the Headmaster said.
“She needs a
lawyer,
” Harry said. “Anyone who just blurts out ‘I did it’ to the police -”
“Unfortunately,” Minerva said, her tone taking on some of Professor McGonagall’s sternness without thinking, “I doubt an attorney will be any use to Miss Granger at this point, Mr. Potter. She is to face the judgment of the Wizengamot, and they would be exceedingly unlikely to free her on a technicality.”
Harry was looking at her with an utterly incredulous expression, as though suggesting that Hermione Granger didn’t need an attorney was akin to suggesting that she be set on fire.
“She is correct, Mr. Potter,” Severus said quietly. “Few court processes in this country involve solicitors.”
Harry lifted his glasses and rubbed his eyes, briefly. “Fine. How do we get Hermione off the hook, exactly? I suppose it’s too much to hope that with all the lawyers gone, the judges understand the concept of ‘common sense’ and ‘prior probability’ well enough to realize that twelve-year-old girls basically never commit cold-blooded murders?”
“It is the Wizengamot that she faces,” said Severus. “The oldest Noble Houses, and certain other wizards of influence.” Severus’s face twisted in something approaching his customary sarcasm. “As for them showing common sense - you might as well expect them to make you a bacon sandwich, Potter.”
Harry nodded, his mouth set. “Exactly what sort of penalty is Hermione facing? Snapped wand and expulsion -”
“No,” Severus said. “Nothing that light. Are you willfully misunderstanding, Potter? She is facing the
Wizengamot
. There is no set penalty. There is only the vote.”
Harry Potter murmured, “
The rule of law, in complex times, has proved itself deficient; we much prefer the rule of men, it’s vastly more efficient…
There’s no constraining legal rules at all, then?”
Light glinted off the old wizard’s half-moon glasses; he spoke carefully, and not without anger. “Legally, Harry, we are dealing with a blood debt from Hermione Granger to the House of Malfoy. The Lord of Malfoy proposes a repayment of that debt, and then the Wizengamot votes on his proposal. That is all.”
“But…” Harry said slowly. “Lucius was Sorted into Slytherin, he’s
got
to realize that Hermione was just a pawn. Not the one he should actually be angry at. Right?”
“No, Harry Potter,” Albus Dumbledore said heavily. “That is how you
wish
Lucius Malfoy would think. Lucius Malfoy himself… will not share your desire that he think that way.”
Harry gazed at the Headmaster, his eyes growing colder, at the same time that Minerva herself had to clamp down harder on her own emotions, stop her pacing and try to breathe. She’d been trying not to think about it, trying to turn her thoughts away from it, but she knew. She’d known since the instant she’d heard. She could see it in Albus’s eyes -
“Is she facing capital punishment?” Harry said quietly, and chills went all the way down Minerva’s spine at the undertones of that voice.
“No!” Albus said. “No, not the Kiss, not Azkaban, not for a first-year in Hogwarts. Our country is not so lost, not yet.”
“But Lucius Malfoy,” Severus said tonelessly, “certainly will not be satisfied with only snapping her wand.”
“All right,” Harry said commandingly. “As I see it, we’ve got two essential lines of attack. Line one, find the real culprit. Line two, other leverage over Lucius. Professor Quirrell saved Draco’s life, does that create a blood debt from House Malfoy to him that he could redeem to cancel Hermione’s?”
Minerva blinked in startlement again.
“No,” Dumbledore said. The old wizard shook his head. “It was a clever thought - but no, Harry, I’m afraid not. There is an exception when the Wizengamot suspects that the circumstances of a life-debt may have been created deliberately. And the Defense Professor is hardly above suspicion. Thus Lucius would argue.”
Harry nodded once, face set. “Headmaster, I know I said I wouldn’t - but under the circumstances - that time Draco cast that torture hex on me, is that debt enough -”
“No,” the old wizard said (even as she blurted “
What?
” and Severus lifted an eyebrow). “It would not have been enough, and now it is no debt at all. You are an Occlumens and cannot testify under Veritaserum. Draco Malfoy could be Obliviated of his own memory before he could testify -” Albus hesitated. “Harry… whatever you have done with Draco, you must assume that Lucius Malfoy will soon know of it.”
Harry’s head sank into his hands. “He’ll give Draco Veritaserum.”
“Yes,” Albus said quietly.
The Boy-Who-Lived didn’t say anything, as he sat with his head in his hands.
The Potions Master looked genuinely shocked. “Draco really
was
trying to help Miss Granger,” Severus said. “You - Potter, you
actually -
”
“Turned him?” Harry said from between his hands. “I was about three-quarters done. Taught him the Patronus Charm and everything. I don’t know what will happen now, though.”
“Voldemort has struck a grave blow against us, this day,” Albus said. The sound of old wizard’s voice was like the look of the boy with his head in his hands. “He has taken two of our pieces, with one… No. I should have seen it earlier. He has taken two of
Harry’s
pieces with one move. Voldemort has begun his game again, not against myself, but against
Harry
. Voldemort knows the prophecy, he knows who his last foe shall be. He is not waiting to face Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy at Harry’s side when they are grown. He is striking at them
now
.”
“Maybe it’s You-Know-Who and maybe it isn’t,” Harry said, his voice sounding a little unsteady. “Let’s not narrow down the hypothesis space prematurely.” Harry took a breath and lowered his hands. “The other thing we can try is to nail the real culprit before the trial - or at least find solid evidence that
someone
else did it.”
“Mr. Potter,” said Minerva, “Professor Quirrell told the Aurors that he knew of someone with a motive to harm Mr. Malfoy. Do
you
know who he was talking about?”
“Yes,” Harry said, after a hesitation. “But I think I shall conduct that part of my investigation with the Defense Professor - just as I would not have Professor Quirrell in the room while we were discussing how to investigate
him.
”
“He suspects me?” Severus said, then gave a short laugh. “Why, of course he does.”
“My own plan,” said Harry, “is to go look at the trophy room where the supposed duel took place and see if I can discover anything anomalous. If you can tell the investigating Aurors to let me through -”
“What investigating Aurors?” Severus said tonelessly.
Harry Potter took a deep breath, slowly let it out, and then spoke again. “In mystery books it usually takes longer than one day to solve a crime, but twenty-four hours is - no,
thirty
hours is eighteen hundred minutes. And I can think of at least one other important place to look for clues - though it’ll have to be someone who can get into the Ravenclaw girls’ dorm. Back when Hermione was fighting bullies, she was finding notes under her pillow each morning, telling her where to go -”
“
Albus…
” ground out Minerva.
“I did not send them,” said the old wizard. His white eyebrows had lifted in surprise. “I knew nothing of this. You think she was being played, Harry?”
“It’s a possibility,” Harry said. “More so, because there’s a part of this puzzle that you don’t know about yet.” Harry’s voice lowered, grew more intense. “Headmaster, you already know that I got my father’s invisibility cloak from someone who left a note under my pillow, saying it was an early Christmas present. I think we have to assume that’s the same person who left notes for Hermione -”
“Harry,” the old wizard said, and hesitated momentarily. “Returning your father’s cloak to you, does not seem to me like the act of a villain -”
“
Listen
,” Harry Potter said urgently. “The part you
don’t
know is that after Bellatrix Black escaped from Azkaban, I found another note under my pillow, signed ‘Santa Claus’, saying that they’d heard you were shutting me up inside Hogwarts, and that they were giving me an escape route to the Salem Witches’ Institute in America. That note came with a deck of cards, in which the King of Hearts was supposedly a portkey -”
“
Mr. Potter!
” cried Professor McGonagall, she hadn’t even thought before she spoke. “That could well be a
kidnapping attempt!
You should have told - ”
“
Yes
, Professor, I did the sensible thing,” the boy said levelly. “As
adapted to the circumstances
, I did the sensible thing. I told Professor Quirrell. And according to Professor Quirrell, that portkey goes to somewhere in London - it’s definitely not strong enough to be an international portkey. Now it’s
possible
that the person who sent the note is honest, and that the point in London is just a way station.” The boy reached into his robes and took out a deck of cards, along with a folded paper note. “I will trust you
not
to go in guns blazing - I mean wands blazing - just in case the sender is an ally of mine, if not yours. But if this is a trap, I say we spring it
now
. And whoever it is, take them
alive
so we can exhibit them before the Wizengamot, I cannot overemphasize that part.”
Severus rose from his chair, his eyes now intent, and moved toward Harry. “I’ll need a hair of yours for Polyjuice, Mr. Potter -”
“Let us not be hasty!” said Albus. “We have not yet examined the notes sent to Miss Granger; there may be no resemblance after all. Severus, would you enter her dorm room and see if you can find those?”
Harry Potter’s eyebrows had raised, even as he stood to offer the Potions Master better access to his mess of hair. “You think two
different
people are running around Hogwarts leaving notes beneath pillows?”
Severus gave a brief sardonic laugh, as his hand moved forward and plucked a hair, which soon was being carefully wrapped in silk. “Quite possibly. If I have learned anything in my tenure as Head of Slytherin, I have learned what ridiculous messes arise when there is more than one plotter and more than one plan. But Headmaster - I think Mr. Potter is correct that I should follow this portkey and see where it leads.”
Albus hesitated, and then nodded reluctantly. “I will speak to you before you go, then.”
Even as Harry Potter left the room for his own investigations, Severus spun on his heel and strode swiftly toward the jar of Floo powder, his cloak rising behind him with his speed. “I’ll get some raw Polyjuice, add the hair, and go. Headmaster, will you stand by to -”
“Albus,” Minerva said, surprised at how steady her own voice was, “did you leave those notes under Mr. Potter’s pillow?”
Severus’s hand halted an instant before casting Floo powder into the fire.
Dumbledore nodded to her, though the accompanying smile seemed a bit hollow. “You know me far too well, my dear.”
“And I suppose the portkey goes to a friendly home where Mr. Potter would be kept safe and sound until you arrived to pick him up and return him to Hogwarts?” Her voice tight - it was sensible, she could not deny it was sensible, but somehow it seemed a little cruel.
“It would depend on the circumstances,” the old wizard said quietly. “If Harry had gone so far - I might have let him make good his escape, for a time. Better to know where he was going, and ensure it was somewhere safe, with friends -”
“And to think,” said Professor McGonagall, “that I had thought to reprimand Mr. Potter for not telling us about this important matter! Upbraid him for not having the sense to trust us!” Her voice had risen in volume. “I shall skip that lecture, I suppose!”