Harsh Pink with Bonus Content (25 page)

I
CAN’T HELP BUT THINK IT WAS NOT A COINCIDENCE THAT
S
ALLY CAME OUT OF
her coma about two hours after Andrea’s prayer chain started praying for her yesterday. Her mother called to tell me that last night. She sounded extremely relieved and tired. She also said that Sally would remain in the hospital for a few days while they ran some tests. I told her I would continue to pray for Sally.

Today, thanks to the local newspaper, the story of the drunken cheerleaders is all over school. By afternoon, all of the varsity squad cheerleaders except Falon, who is furious, are officially suspended. This means we will not be going to compete at state. Like I care.

“We discussed this a great deal,” Coach Anderson tells all of the cheerleaders during seventh-period cheerleading class. “Some people thought we should overlook this infraction. They thought you girls had already learned your lesson. But I feel that we need to adhere to the terms of the contract, and a suspension will be enforced. However, for those girls who are willing to attend an alcohol-diversion class, the suspension will be reduced from four weeks to only two.”

The alcohol-diversion class is designed to persuade the attendees that drinking alcohol when underage is both dangerous and wrong. I think we all get that, but we sign up anyway. All except for Sally, that is. It sounds like she won’t be at school for the rest of the week.

On Tuesday, Andrea and I go to visit her in the hospital, and we are both shocked at what we see. No longer her talkative, energetic self, this pale, quiet girl in the bed seems like a shadow of the former Sally.

“They’ve discovered that my heart has some damage,” she tells us.

“From the alcohol?” I ask.

“They’re not sure. It’s possible. Or maybe it was congenital.”

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly.

She peers curiously at Andrea now, and I can tell she wants to ask what’s up with this. So I simply tell Sally that Andrea and I are friends and that I’ve become a Christian. And she doesn’t even seem that surprised.

“My mom told me that you guys were praying for me,” she says.

“A lot of people were praying,” says Andrea.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“When will you be back at school?” I ask.

Sally just shrugs. “Maybe next week. I don’t really know. But I do know that I won’t be cheerleading ever again.”

“Because of the heart thing?”

“Yeah. But I don’t really care. It’s no big deal.”

“I’m really sorry, Sally.”

She looks at me now, long and hard, and I wonder if she’s still mad at me for taking her place with Kendra. “You know,” I tell her, hoping this will cheer her some, “Kendra and I aren’t that good of friends anymore.” Of course, that’s an understatement. Kendra isn’t even speaking to me.

“I don’t really care about that, Reagan.” She sort of laughs, but it has an empty sound. “Kendra won’t want to be friends with me either now that I can’t be a cheerleader.”

“I was actually thinking about quitting myself,” I admit.

“Oh, don’t do that.” Sally frowns. “That’s like giving up.”

I consider that. I can sort of understand her thinking, but finishing out the year on varsity squad seems like a huge mountain to climb. Still, I know that I should be praying about it. God can show me what’s best.

“I wanted to thank you, Reagan,” Sally says just before we leave. “I know that you called the paramedics … and that I would be dead now if they hadn’t come.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” I tell her, sharing a little bit about the role Andrea played that night.

“Well, thanks to both of you then.” She sighs and leans her head back, closing her eyes.

“And when you’re feeling better,” I say, “I want to tell you about what happened to me and how I became a Christian. I mean, if you want to hear it.”

With her eyes still closed, she almost smiles now. “Yeah, I would like to hear that.”

A week later Sally comes to school, and although she seems a little better, she’s still not her old self. And by seventh period, she actually looks exhausted.

“Are you feeling okay?” I ask as we walk into the gym together. She’s not dressed down like the rest of us, but she says she has an announcement to make.

“Yeah,” she says. “It’s been a long day.”

Sally’s announcement is that she’s quitting cheerleading. “But that’s not all,” she says. “I’ve had some time to think about a few things, and I realize I haven’t been a very nice person to many of you. I just want to say that I’m sorry. I also want to say that I wasn’t very nice to Jocelyn Matthews when she was on varsity. And I really hope she can take my place now that I have to quit. I know it’s not my decision to make, but I hope you’ll consider it.” She looks at all of us now. “And I think there are a few other girls who need to think about some of the things they’ve done too.” Then she sits down beside me.

“May I say something?” I ask Coach Anderson.

“Certainly.”

So I step forward. “I have a confession to make,” I say, avoiding Kendra’s eyes. “I had something to do with the thing that happened to Jocelyn’s uniform at homecoming. I feel really bad about it and I plan to confess it to Jocelyn. But I will totally understand if you want me to step down from cheerleading now. I think that would be fair.”

The gym is really quiet now and Coach Anderson clears her throat. “Does anyone else have anything to say?”

A couple of the other varsity squad cheerleaders make some admissions and apologies, including Meredith, who also confesses to being involved in the prank that was pulled on Jocelyn. “I’m sorry,” she says. “And I’ll apologize to Jocelyn too.”

Kendra remains quiet throughout this whole thing. And, judging by her expression, you’d think she’s the only one here who is innocent. At first this makes me really angry and I want to blow her cover. Instead, I say a silent prayer and ask God to help me figure out how to handle it. I have a feeling that God wants me to forgive her. If that’s the case, he’s going to have to help me. But, according to Andrea, that’s how he works.

I stop by Jocelyn’s house on my way home. Standing at her front door, I confess my part in the uniform mess and tell her that I’m really, really sorry. “I wouldn’t blame you for totally hating me.”

She doesn’t say anything, but I can tell she’s mad. And hurt.

“I offered to quit cheerleading,” I add. “And if Coach Anderson agrees, you can have my uniform, since we know it’ll fit you.”

“Sally called me too,” she says. “She sort of said the same thing. If everyone keeps confessing and quitting, there won’t be a varsity squad left by the end of the week.”

“Kendra is the only one keeping her mouth shut.”

“Figures.”

“Anyway, I really am sorry.”

She nods. “Yeah. You said that.”

So I take the hint and leave. I think it’s understandable that it might take Jocelyn some time to get over this. I just hope she gets reinstated as a cheerleader. I think it’s only fair. Not that fair usually happens. Especially in high school. But one can hope.

As it turns out, Coach Anderson takes me aside the following day and tells me that she doesn’t plan to remove me from the squad. Of course, this comes with a stern warning. “I’m aware that not all the cheerleaders have been forthcoming about these things.” She shakes her head. “Sometimes I just hate this job.”

Then Falon announces that we’ll vote to see if Jocelyn can be reinstated. Everyone but Kendra votes for Jocelyn to come back. Kendra abstains. “It’s a matter of principle,” she says. “I just think it was wrong for Jocelyn to swear like that in front of everyone — and at a game. It made us all look bad.”

“But it’s okay to swear and break the rules and walk all over people as long as you do it secretly?” I ask. A couple of girls snicker and Kendra just rolls her eyes and says, “Whatever.”

After our two-week suspension, Jocelyn is back on varsity. She’s wearing Sally’s uniform, and to everyone’s surprise, she and Sally are actually friends. Jocelyn is civilized to me, but that’s about it. Kendra treats me like I have cooties. She’s also managed to get her old friends back into her court, except for Sally. Meredith is pleased to step into the role of best friend. I am not the least bit envious.

The meanness has subsided some, but I have a feeling it’ll be back before long — it’s just human nature, or human nature that’s allowed to run its course without any God-influence. Because I know God doesn’t want us to be mean. I think the meanness is at its worst when people feel insecure or threatened. Not that it excuses their behavior. But it does help me to understand. Still, it’s hard to understand why someone like Kendra would feel insecure or threatened when it seems like she has everything. But I guess only God can see into a person’s heart.

Andrea and I have been talking to Sally about what it means to be a Christian. And she’s been listening and has even agreed to come to youth group with us. Jocelyn has been listening too, but she’s got lots of questions and isn’t too sure about the whole thing. But I figure there’s time. Plus, God can do anything. I know this for a fact because I know what God has done in my life. And I’m really looking forward to what he is going to do in the future. Because every single day I can feel myself changing. Sometimes just a little. Sometimes a lot. And one of the best changes is that I now reach out to the very same kids I used to categorize, ignore, or even snub. And I can see it in their eyes — once they recover from the shock, that is. I can tell that they know I’m changing too.

1. Reagan’s internal alarms went off the first time she met Kendra. Why do you think that was?

2. Do you ever have intuitions about potential friends? Are they usually right or wrong? Explain.

3. Why was it important to Reagan that she be counted among Kendra’s friends? What did she believe was at stake?

4. How did you feel about Reagan’s mother? How do you think the dynamics of Reagan’s home life influenced her choices at school?

5. Reagan highly esteemed popularity in her potential friends. What traits do you most treasure in a friend?

6. What was your first impression of Jocelyn? What were her strengths and weaknesses as a friend?

7. What kind of a friend was Reagan? To Jocelyn? To Kendra? To Andrea? What kind of a friend are you? Is there anything you’d like to change?

8. Reagan often said she felt like a hypocrite and became exhausted trying to live up to her friends’ expectations. What do these feelings say about the nature of her friendships?

9. How do you define real friendship? What is valid about Reagan’s categorization of friends into A, B, and C classes? What is misguided about it?

10. What prompts girls to be mean? Do you think meanness is a sign of strength or weakness?

11. Have you ever been the target of a mean girl? Explain how you felt.

12. Most people are victims of meanness at some point. How do you think God wants you to react when meanness is directed toward you?