Authors: Michele Dunaway
T
HE TRACK
at Loudon was a little over a mile long, with banking twelve degrees in the turns and two degrees on the straightaways. The race would be three hundred laps. Hart and his team lined up perpendicular to the car, facing the American flag off in the distance as the pop singer belted out the national anthem.
Hart stood closest to his car, which happened to be parked next to his pit. He’d won the pole and thus was starting in the first spot inside, right after the pace car. He’d chosen the first pit stall. While it would take him a while to get down pit road, he’d be right at the end to accelerate off. He’d managed to talk both Kellie and Charlie into doing the driver introductions with him. She stood next to him now, enduring the camera in her face as it panned down his team, showing them to both the live fans and television viewers. He hadn’t found the perfect time to talk with her about everything else.
He had, however, had a moment to clear the air and tell her that he didn’t see her as something temporary. “I want you with me,” he’d said, and then she’d nodded.
He suddenly felt a small tug, and he realized Kellie had slid her hand into his. Hart smiled. Such a small gesture, but an important one that everyone nearby, including the press, could see.
“Thank you for everything,” she mouthed. He smiled and focused, her hand in his a welcome weight.
Since Independence Day was on Wednesday, the track had planned several patriotic events, including the flyover of Air National Guard planes that was roaring into view. He’d never been one much for praying before the start of the race, but the last few races he’d been having the guys from the outreach ministry stop by. Today wouldn’t be an exception. Before Kellie released his hand, he pulled her toward him, giving her a hug before letting her go.
Charlie was already up on top of the war wagon, ready to watch the weather. NASCAR allowed seven guys over the wall and now that the anthem had ended, they were moving into place. Hart’s teammate, Mitch Bengal, sat in the outside pole position. Cynthia had been ecstatic with Hampton Racing holding the top two fastest qualifying times. Hart had simply been thrilled to have legitimately qualified for the Shootout next year at Daytona. The only ones who could participate were pole winners or past shootout winners and, like the NASCAR NEXTEL All-Star Challenge, the event was all about prestige. Hart gave Mitch a salute before climbing into his car. Wally came over and patted the side of the green Number 413 car. “You gonna win this for us?”
“Gonna try. If nothing else, I want a top five finish,” Hart said as he attached the steering wheel. He couldn’t fire up the car until the official gentlemen-start-your-engines command. Hart scratched under his chin. His new helmet smelled fresh. No matter how many times he’d put on a helmet, the weight was always something that took a second or two to get used to. That was something that never changed.
“If you win you can kiss the girl in Victory Lane,” Wally said for incentive.
“Planning on kissing her no matter what,” Hart replied as Wally put up Hart’s net and backed away.
Hart smiled to himself. He’d kissed Kellie quite a bit over the weekend, practically every chance he got. He’d actually gotten up early so he could spend the morning with her and Charlie, and that had been extremely successful. He’d never had to prove he’d be a good family man before, but he was determined to do just that. Kellie and Charlie had come to mean a great deal to him. And if she thought he was ready to let her go…
Hardly. He planned on winning her heart. They were going to have that talk tonight, once he won this race.
He focused on his job as the command was given, and, with a flip of some switches, all forty-three drivers fired up their engines.
The car rumbled to life underneath him, and now that the engine was going, the cockpit heated. NASCAR drivers raced in all types of weather, and Hart was grateful for the cooling unit that circulated cool air underneath his helmet to his face. The track had been hot during practice and qualifying, but a cold front had come through last night dropping the temperature by eight degrees. A big difference, and one he hoped worked in his favor.
“Okay, let’s do this,” his spotter Matt called through the speaker in Hart’s helmet. Matt was perched high above the main grandstand.
Hart followed the pace car out onto the track. They’d do several warm up laps first before the pace car would move onto pit road. That was always an exhilarating moment�seeing the green flag waving and pressing the pedal to the floor. Hart shifted, adjusting his speed and weaving so he could warm up his tires. Sunk down in his custom seat he could see only what was in front of him and a peripheral side view.
Being the pole sitter, he saw the pace car duck over and head onto pit road at the same time Matt told him. “Green flag,” Matt added.
Up ahead in the middle of the straightaway Hart could see the official waving it. Adrenaline punched through his veins. He wasn’t staring at the back end of someone in front. Nothing but clean air ahead. He readied his hands and feet, prepared his body for the race ahead and accelerated.
K
ELLIE AND
C
HARLIE
were waiting for him outside the hauler when he arrived after the end of the race, having placed eighth.
“Another top ten,” Charlie said, giving Hart a high five.
“Congrats,” Kellie added.
“Thanks,” Hart said, somewhat glumly. “Let’s get out of here.”
Several hours�and a short plane ride�later, Hart and Kellie were sitting in her kitchen. “Thanks again,” she said.
“No problem,” Hart replied. He reached across the table and took her hand. Now that Charlie and Anita had retired, he had Kellie all to himself. “I told you I’d be here for you.”
She nodded.
“Starting to believe me?”
She nodded again. “Yes. I shouldn’t have doubted.”
“I’ll try not to push. I know with Charlie you have other priorities. But I’m not planning on going anywhere. You can trust me on that.”
“I do.” Her voice was quiet and sure.
“I’m glad.” Hope soared inside him. He cared for her and wanted her in his life. She’d just taken another step closer to him.
“I have to be honest, though,” Kellie said. “Charlie’s treatment comes first.”
“Of course,” Hart said quickly. He understood that.
“No. I mean, I want this. Us. But I can’t make any guarantees. It’s not fair to you to wait for me. I don’t know what weekends Charlie and I can come to the track. I…”
“Shh,” Hart said. He got out of his chair and came to squat beside her. He balanced himself on his feet and placed his arms around her. “Kellie, you and I said no buts. I don’t want guarantees. We can just take everything one day at a time.”
“I’m scared. I don’t want to fall in love with you and lose you,” she whispered.
“You won’t. Lose me, that is,” he clarified, grinning at his near gaffe.
She smiled, her softened face reassuring him that he was still on course to win her. He gathered her into his arms and somehow she was in his lap, both sitting on the floor. He kissed her gently for a long while. Finally they drew apart.
“I’ve got to get going,” he said, finding himself in no hurry to leave her side. While she might be afraid of falling in love with him, he’d already taken the tumble.
“I wish you didn’t live so far away,” she said, and his decision was instantaneous.
“Charlie’s starting treatments tomorrow?”
“Yes,” she confirmed.
“I’m going to get a hotel room so I can be here. I’ll call my pilot and let him know I’m not going back tonight.”
“Really you don’t have to…”
“I want to,” Hart said.
“No,” she replied, shaking her head. “I mean, you don’t need a hotel. You can stay here.”
“I’d like that,” Hart said. He stroked her hair gently, letting the silk strands wash over his fingers. “Just tell me your couch is soft. While I want nothing more than to take you in my arms and hold you all night, I’m a believer in propriety.”
He kissed her again, his lips exploring the change in her their conversation had brought. She opened to him, giving of herself through kisses and caresses until both realized that it was time to go to bed�alone.
Hart closed his eyes and made himself comfortable on the sofa. Kellie wasn’t ready to make love to him and he didn’t want Kellie to lose herself, or to use him as a diversion from thinking about her son’s treatment tomorrow. When they made love, he wanted both of them to only be focused on each other. As for tonight, well, they also needed their rest tomorrow.
Hart knew it was all about timing. Like fine-tuning a race car, a relationship took work and precise mechanics. Nothing ever worth winning came easy, but he wasn’t worried. Like running in the NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Series, he was in this race for the long haul, and would do whatever it took.
“H
I
,
EVERYONE
, and welcome to Richmond. I’m Malcolm French and I’m here with Gus Edwards. What a wild summer it’s been! This is it, the final race before the Chase. It’s a great September day, but for the contenders, it’s more than that.”
“That’s because today’s race determines who’s still in contention for the NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Championship. The ten-race Chase officially starts at New Hampshire next weekend. Everyone’s been pushing hard, and today won’t be an exception.”
“We’ve seen Dusty Burke trying to nail down his rookie title and make the Chase. Ronnie McDougal sits firmly in the top twelve and unless he finishes forty-third today, he’s guaranteed a spot.”
“And Kyle Doolittle has cracked the top three and is closing on the leader. Those top spots aren’t concrete yet.”
“No, they aren’t. But the surprising comeback story is Hart Hampton, who has moved back into contention since his eighth-place finish at Loudon in July. Hampton currently sits twelfth in points, an astonishing feat considering some had him washed up after the first Richmond race.”
“But that was before he met his lucky charms. We’ve seen them at most races this summer, and the trend doesn’t seem to have stopped yet as Kellie Thompson and her son, Charlie, are at the track today.”
“While no official word has come from Hampton Racing, after that kiss we saw in Victory Lane a month ago in Indianapolis, one can only assume that Hart Hampton is off the market.”
“Ah, that will disappoint a lot of women out there.”
“Indeed.”
K
ELLIE WOULD NOT
bite her nails. She clasped her hands together and tucked them underneath her thighs. This had been where Hart had wrecked way back in May. As only one hundred points separated the top thirteen drivers, nothing was set in stone. That meant the drivers in contention were racing all out, fighting for every inch of pavement. The grandstands were crowded, and already three cars had packed up and gone home: two from collision and one from engine failure.
With fifty laps to go, the race was still anyone’s. As the last caution had been long ago, all teams were looking at green flag pit stops. The commentators were saying that most teams didn’t think they had enough fuel to stay out. Hart’s car was fast, and so far had been performing well. He’d needed few adjustments during his earlier stops.
But like the rest of the leaders, he’d have to pit once more, and then the crew chiefs would make their decisions as to whether the drivers took fuel only or also took on fresh tires.
From her seat in the McDougals’s motor home, Kellie was amazed at how much she’d learned over the past nine weeks she’d been officially dating Hart Hampton. While she hadn’t made it to every race because of Charlie’s health, when at the track their weekends had become routine but certainly not less exciting. Hart had spent his July week off by coming to stay with them in Myrtle Beach, and that had been wonderful. With the chemo looking as if it had been working, Anita had insisted that Kellie take an evening off, and Hart had surprised Kellie with a flight to Savannah where they’d had a romantic dinner at one of the city’s best restaurants. They’d then spent the night in a historic hotel suite, making love for the first time. If she’d had any doubt of Hart’s long-term intentions, he’d cleared them up that night when he’d told her he loved her. She couldn’t yet say the words in return, but she’d taken him into her arms and shown him how much she’d grown to care.
“They’re pitting,” Alyssa said, interrupting Kellie’s reverie, as the race leader veered to the left and headed down pit road. A long line of cars followed him, a few choosing to stay out in hopes of gaining track position.
There were less than thirty laps to go on the short track so Hart and many of the leaders took only two right side tires and fuel. Two laps went by with the drivers jockeying for position, some cars touching. The camera panned and Kellie frowned. “Did something just fall off that car?” Kellie asked.
“I’m not sure,” someone answered.
But indeed something had dislodged from one of the cars, and seconds later before the caution flag came out, one of the lap-down cars caught the debris with his back right wheel, slicing his car’s tire to shreds. His sudden reduction in speed and subsequent one-eighty spin had the fifteen drivers behind him scrambling into evasive action to avoid wrecking as the field careened into Turn Three with no room to spare.
“Hart’s loose!” Alyssa cried out.
Kellie’s whole body tensed. Having been in wrecks herself, she’d lived in dread of this moment, and here it was live on TV. She watched with horror as Hart’s car began to turn and the back end of the Number 413 car hit the wall. The sheet metal crumpled like paper, and the car spun around again as another driver clipped it. She’d never been so afraid and she barely registered Alyssa’s hand covering hers as the rest of the drivers tried to avoid the crashed cars. Both the driver with the cut tire and Hart were against the wall in Turn Three, and Kellie held her breath as the other drivers made it around safely. But suddenly, flames shot from the right front of Hart’s car.
High up in the turn, Hart had lowered his window net and Kellie’s heart relaxed for only a second while Hart climbed out of the car, helmet still on. Already emergency crews were there putting out the fire, and Hart removed his helmet and climbed unassisted into the ambulance for the mandatory trip to the infield care center.
Kellie tried to breathe. She’d seen news images from the Middle East but she’d never once seen John “at work.” Hart had just survived a car wreck going 100-plus miles per hour. While that said volumes for NASCAR’s safety, the event had still shaken her. What if he’d been hurt? At this moment Hart’s what-if lecture seemed irrelevant. She couldn’t let go. She tried to calm herself as she realized she’d fallen deeply in love with Hart Hampton.
“I’ll walk you over there,” Alyssa said. “Unless you’d rather wait for him in the hauler.”
“No.” Kellie shook her head, her loose blond hair swishing against her shoulders. She’d worn it down because Hart liked it that way. “I’ll go.”
The night was warm as the two women stepped out of the motor home and made their way to the care center. “You don’t have to go in with me,” Kellie said as they reached the building. “I’ve got it from here.”
“Are you sure? You look a little pale.”
“I’m fine,” Kellie insisted.
“You call me if you need anything,” Alyssa said, giving Kellie a quick hug. Kellie watched her friend for a second as she made her way toward her husband’s pit. Then Kellie took a deep breath and entered the building.
“You know, Richmond just might not be your track,” the doctor was saying as the nurse brought Kellie back to where Hart lay.
“Yeah, win one and crash twice,” Hart said in a poor attempt at a joke. He heard Kellie approach and turned his head. She could tell he ached from the impact, but other than that he looked okay. “Hey,” he said, managing a smile.
“Hi,” she said, a lump forming in her throat. She wasn’t one hundred percent certain she was going to keep her composure.
“You can come closer,” Hart encouraged as the doctor moved away. “I promise not to bite if you do. Neither will the doctor. I’m just waiting for the okay to get out of here.”
“When will that be?” she asked, suddenly overcome by the myriad of raw, conflicting emotions powering through her. Hart lay on the examination table, his uniform pulled down to his waist, exposing the T-shirt he wore underneath.
“Should be real soon.” He propped himself up on an elbow so he could see her better.
She trembled. She’d walked into so many clinic rooms, only then it had been Charlie on the gurney. She’d waited for the doctor’s news, her whole body fearful of the words he’d relate. Each time, a fist of worry clenched her heart and tore at her soul. Stress would build up, causing her to tremble and shake. She’d pray for the best and expect the worst. Now instead of Charlie, it was Hart.
“Hey, are you okay?” Hart said, his forehead creasing. He gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t cry, honey. I’m going to be fine.”
He was going to be all right, but that didn’t matter. Kellie fought to hold back the tears. Sometimes, when in this situation with Charlie, she’d cry tears of joy. Those were the happy, relieved tears, when she could take a deep breath and relax. However, most times she shed tears of frustration as yet another treatment didn’t work. The push-pull of hope�sometimes rewarded like today, sometimes not�took a huge toll.
“Kellie?” Hart prodded. “Hey, sweetheart, it’s okay.”
She shook her head from left to right, her entire body shaking. How she wished she could tell him she was okay. As she’d walked over to the infield care unit, fear had clawed at her. Unlike her constant dread of bad news with Charlie, this time it had started slow, like a little trickle. She’d mentally chided herself she was being irrational. Hart had clearly been fine, as he’d climbed into the ambulance on his own. He’d waved to the crowd. But fear was like water. Once it worked its way through an opening, the hole became bigger and bigger, letting more and more through, until the emotion flooded everything in its path, washing away all rationality.
She stepped forward and Hart reached for her hand. His touch warmed. “You’re like ice,” he said.
“I’m fine,” she replied, a tear escaping.
Hart worked himself to a sitting position. “You aren’t fine,” he chided gently. “You’re trembling.”
“I was worried,” she admitted.
“That’s because you care about me,” he said. He rubbed her hands between his. “You love me.”
“Way too much,” Kellie said, admitting the truth of just how deeply she loved him. Hart swung his legs off the table and drew her toward him, his legs framing her. Kellie took a deep, steadying breath. Sometimes love just wasn’t enough. Hadn’t John proved that? Could she stand to risk losing another person? Could she willingly put herself in that situation? “I can’t do this,” she answered.
“You just did, and the first time is the hardest,” Hart told her gently. He threaded two of his fingers into her hair, drawing a strand toward him. “I’m so glad you’re here. Do you know how much your presence means to me? You’ve become one of the most important people in my life.”
“I just don’t want to lose you. John was difficult enough. This isn’t easy for me.”
“I know.”
“I love you,” Kellie said. “But I’ve learned that sometimes love isn’t enough.”
Hart’s jaw tightened with raw determination. “In our case, it’s going to be.”
The doctor returned, intruding on the moment. “You’re free to go,” he told Hart. “I’m clearing you to race next weekend.”
“Thanks.” Hart slid off the table so that he stood next to Kellie, his taller frame shadowing hers. “Let’s get out of here,” he told her.
They’d barely made out of the care center door before Russ and Cynthia were there with a four-seater golf cart. “Sorry not to have been here sooner. I was up in the skybox,” she said. “What did the doctor say?”
“I’m free to race next weekend,” Hart said. He assisted Kellie into the cart. “Not that it really matters. I’m guess I’m out this year.”
He meant the Chase, Kellie knew. Hart wouldn’t have the points to compete for the NASCAR NEXTEL Cup championship.
“Yeah, but we can use the final races as testing for next year,” Cynthia said. “You’ve had a lot go wrong this year. Let’s look forward and fix that.”
“I’ve also had a lot go right, on and off the track,” Hart said, squeezing Kellie’s hand. She averted her face, watching as they wove their way through the garage area to the haulers. Hart’s team was already tearing down�loading the wrecked car and preparing to go home. Charlie was inside the hauler, and his face whitened slightly as he saw his mom. It was almost as if he knew she was freaking out, and his eyes pleaded with her not to make any hasty decisions.
“Hey, sport,” Hart said. He tapped the bill of Charlie’s cap. The Hampton Racing hat was a permanent fixture on Charlie’s head as his hair had fallen out after the latest round of chemo.
“I called your pilot to let him know you’re about to be on your way,” Russ said.
“Thanks,” Hart said. He smiled at Kellie and Charlie. “Let’s get out of here.”
Soon they were in the sky, headed to Myrtle Beach. From there, Hart would fly home to Charlotte. He accompanied them to Kellie’s house, the hired car waiting outside. Inside, Charlie headed off to his room, leaving his mother alone with Hart.
“You’ve barely spoken to me since the race,” he said, drawing her into his arms.
“I know,” Kellie answered. She stepped back slightly.
“Hey, come here. Still rattled?”
“Very,” Kellie said, deliberately putting space between them. “How about we talk later?”
She knew she was pushing him away, and Hart understood. “Okay,” he said, agreeing although not looking very happy about it. “I’ll come see you on Wednesday like always. We do have a lot to talk about. There are a few things I want to ask you. Next step things.”
“Charlie has doctor appointments that day.”
“I’ll be here anyway,” Hart said, closing the gap between them.
She opened her mouth to protest and then simply let go as Hart leaned in for a goodbye kiss. She lost herself in the feel of his mouth, kissing him with everything she wanted to tell him but knew she’d never say. Tonight had shaken her to the core. She didn’t think she could take the next step. The risks were too great.
He drew back from her, his gaze intense. “You’ve never kissed me like that,” he said.
Kellie shook her head, but remained mute. She let her fingers trail over his arm, memorizing the shape and texture as she stepped away and let him go.
“I’ll see you Wednesday,” Hart said. “Call you tomorrow.”
She’d moved back into the shadows, turning away so that she couldn’t see Hart leaving. The door clicked softly behind him as the lock caught.
“Mom?” Charlie called out.
Kellie turned. “I thought you’d gone to bed. It’s really late.”
“Don’t break up, Mom,” Charlie said. His blue eyes glistened, and Kellie’s pain increased.
“Charlie…” Kellie began.
“He loves you. I can tell. Don’t blow this. It was an accident. People have them all the time. NASCAR’s safer than driving on the street.”
“This is not a conversation to be having with my sixteen-year-old son,” Kellie hedged. “You need to go to bed.”
“Maybe, but know that I only want what’s best for you. And that’s Hart.”
“I…” Kellie stopped, her heart heavy and her head throbbing as a headache took hold. “I don’t want to talk about this. You and I need to both get some rest. It’s been a long weekend already.”
“Don’t push him away,” Charlie said. “Please. For me.”
“Sometimes adults do things that kids don’t understand, but you will someday. Life isn’t a fairy tale, Charlie. You of all people know that.”