Authors: Michele Dunaway
“It doesn’t mean I still don’t believe,” he said. He turned and walked away, his anger with her evident.
Kellie stood for a moment, and then let herself collapse into the nearest chair. The silence of the room descended as the world around her settled down for the night.
Oh, she knew what people would think. This was Hart Hampton. NASCAR’s most popular driver. And on Wednesday, she planned on breaking up with him. They’d say she was crazy. Foolish. How could she turn down such a gorgeous man who cared for her and her son? Who loved her.
But Kellie knew that independence was safer. She couldn’t risk even the slightest chance of losing them both. Better to let go now then to suffer a greater loss later. Oh, they’d say she was irrational. Firefighters, military personnel, stuntmen, even police officers faced more danger than a NASCAR driver. But tonight’s visit to the infield care center had shaken Kellie more than she’d realized. She visited the clinic enough for Charlie. She simply couldn’t add another person to that mix.
O
N
T
UESDAY
, Hart’s impending arrival and their conversation had dropped from Kellie’s priority list.
“Mrs. Thompson. If you could come with me,” Dr. Murphy said as he came to get her.
Kellie closed her eyes for a moment. Charlie had needed an emergency trip to the clinic and Kellie knew that
tone.
Oh, anyone else standing in the waiting room wouldn’t recognize it for anything but a doctor asking her to come back to his office. But Kellie had been through this too many times to count.
She knew.
He didn’t even have to tell her that Charlie’s chemo had failed and that the leukemia was getting more aggressive. The doctor did so anyway, and she listened, her brain trying to absorb the overload of information as he discussed treatment options.
“So in a nutshell, Charlie’s cancer is becoming resistant to the chemo and we have only a few more chances,” Kellie summarized. She’d known something was wrong when Charlie hadn’t wanted to get up Sunday morning. By Monday evening, his fever had spiked. They’d been able to get it down with acetaminophen, but by early this morning she’d known he had to go in.
“We’re going to admit Charlie today,” Dr. Murphy said, confirming her fears. “The secondary infection bacteria are strep and the immature cells coming back in are leukemia blasts. We’re going to start another round of chemo and head them off. We’ll also give him morphine if the pain increases to an unbearable level.”
Kellie bit her lip. “Have you told him all this yet?”
“I thought I’d tell you first and we could go in together.”
Kellie nodded her approval. Charlie had some of the best doctors in the nation, but doctors plus modern science didn’t necessarily equal miracles. “So we need to face that we might be at the end,” she said.
The doctor’s expression turned sympathetic. “I’m sorry. We have a few more things we can try, and I’m hopeful this next one will work.”
“Thank you for being honest,” Kellie said, as hope fled. They’d been fighting the disease for years. “I think I’d rather go in to talk to Charlie myself. If you don’t mind.”
“That’s fine. I have to make my rounds. I’ll stop by Charlie’s room later and see if either of you have any questions.”
A few minutes later, Kellie pushed the door open to her son’s room. He lay quietly against the adjustable bed, watching television.
“Don’t say it,” he said as he saw her face. “No, don’t you say it.”
“Charlie,” she said, trying to hold it together.
“I say
when,
” he said stubbornly. “I did the research. There are a few more drugs they can try. I’m starting one today. Don’t say it, Mom.”
“Charlie.” Tears of desperation came to her eyes. “We just have to be prepared. There are decisions we must make…”
“No!” His vehemence surprised her. “I’m not quitting. Not yet. I have things left I must do.”
“This new drug they’re going to try. It’s brutal.”
“I can handle it,” he said. “You taught me to be a fighter. I’ll handle it. I’m not going down until the very end, and if I do, I’ll go down swinging.”
The tears really began to flow and Kellie couldn’t stop them. “Of course, you will,” she said, grabbing for a tissue. “I’m not saying that. I’m not saying quit. Look at you, so much braver than me right now. You’re together and I’m falling apart. But Charlie, how much more can you take?”
“All that I have to,” he replied. She began to speak but he shook his head. “I’d like to be alone for a while. Please.”
He looked so tiny and frail in that hospital bed. She wanted to stay but knew to respect his wishes. He had to face this himself, and her being teary-eyed and emotional wasn’t helping.
“Okay. I’ll go down to the cafeteria and read my book. Call me on my cell phone when you want me to come back up.”
He didn’t answer, only turned his face away to gaze out the window.
Kellie’s hands shook as she pulled open the door to his hospital room. She trembled as she entered the elevator. In the cafeteria she almost spilled her coffee as she fought to get the lid on the cup. She finally sat down at a table and hit the speed-dial button. “Mom?” she said when Anita answered. “I think I need you.”
H
ART
H
AMPTON
’
S CELL
vibrated in the middle of a meeting with his sponsor’s representative. Tomorrow was Charlie’s visit at the clinic, and today some strange premonition had Hart refusing to turn the device off. As Liam discussed a contract point, Hart pulled the phone out of his jeans. Charlie had sent him a text message. He read it and frowned. “Call me ASAP” were the only words.
“So Hart, are you in agreement with that clause?” Liam asked.
Hart focused. They’d been discussing the amount of money Elementals was going to pay to sponsor Hart’s car next year. They’d also get a limited number of commercials featuring Hart. “Yes, but I’m keeping my shirt on from here on out,” he said simply.
Liam appeared surprised, as did Jackson Henry, the Elementals rep Hart had been working with for years.
“Hart?” Liam questioned. “You’ve never mentioned that before.”
Hart tapped his fingers on the table. “I’m almost thirty-three. Enough with me partially in the buff. I don’t want my children wondering why Daddy’s half-naked in the magazine.”
“You’re getting married?” Jackson asked. Now Liam appeared stunned.
“No. Maybe. Eventually,” Hart said. He picked up a pencil and rolled it between his fingers. “My point is that no other driver wanders around in just a pair of boxers unless they’re a twenty-something model. Not even those other celebrities who work for your competitor do. I’m happy hawking Elementals products. I like wearing the stuff. But I want to present a more mature image from here on out.”
Liam and Jackson exchanged glances. “I think that can be arranged,” Jackson said.
“Good,” Hart answered. He stretched. He’d been sitting in the conference chair for over an hour. While a driver’s seat never bothered him, he hated long meetings.
“Is everything else agreeable?” Liam asked.
“Yeah,” Hart said. He and his personal attorney had pored over the contract yesterday. “Change that clause and get it back to me.”
Within fifteen minutes he was out of the meeting and calling Charlie.
“Hey, what’s up?” Hart asked.
“I’m not good,” Charlie said.
Hart listened as Charlie described the situation. “I’ll call you back in a few minutes,” Hart said. He strode back into the conference room. “Liam, I need to talk with you. Well, I guess you, too, Jackson. I need a substitute driver this weekend for New Hampshire.”
“You’re not racing?”
“No. Charlie’s in the hospital. They’ve told him to prepare for the end if this round of chemo fails.”
“Oh.” A look of shock crossed Liam’s face.
“I’m flying to Myrtle Beach now. I’m not even going to be stressed out by giving myself a timetable,” Hart said.
“So Dover’s iffy?” Liam asked.
“Let’s not worry about that. I might be in the driver’s seat for Dover,” Hart said. He glanced at Jackson. “If this throws anything contractwise, then I’m sorry, but it’s better for all of us if we know where I stand. I care for these people a great deal, and this is something that can’t be rescheduled. I’ll leave you and Liam to sort this out.”
And with that, Hart strode from the room, leaving a stunned Liam and Jackson in his wake.
L
IAM TURNED
to Jackson. He sat there with a flabbergasted look on his face and Liam’s gut clenched. While they could find another sponsor, life would be so much easier if they could get this deal done. Elementals had been very generous.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Hart like that,” Jackson said. “I’m shocked.”
Liam shifted uncomfortably.
“I’ve been following Hart and Kellie via the media,” Jackson said. “I’ve known Hart a long time, but never seen him fly off like this.”
“Yes, well…” Liam began.
“No, it’s okay. I like this new Hart. We’re still going to sponsor him. Hart’s matured, just like he said. He knows his priorities. I never thought I’d see the day.”
Liam relaxed. Neither had he.
“So shall we go over a few more things?” Jackson asked.
“Absolutely,” Liam said.
F
IVE HOURS LATER
, Hart entered Charlie’s hospital room. “Hey, sport,” he said.
“Hey, Hart,” Charlie replied.
Hart immediately noticed the paleness of Charlie’s skin and the sunkeness of his face. He was hooked up to IV and oxygen tubes. “You don’t look that great,” Hart said.
“I’m not.” Charlie coughed a little, and Hart sat down and drew close.
“Take it easy there,” Hart said. The whole situation had a surreal tinge to it. He’d been in plenty of hospital rooms but never like this. Charlie was simply too young to be in this spot. “Don’t talk if it gives you fits.”
“I need to talk,” Charlie said. “I never told you what I wished for. Remember, from camp?”
“Wasn’t that to attend a race?” Hart asked.
“No. That was just something I’d never done. You told me your wish was for a family. Remember, you said you’d need a wife first.”
Hart laughed. “That seems so long ago, doesn’t it?”
Charlie smiled a little. “Yeah. We just never got back to me.”
Hart mentally cursed fate. He wished he could do so much more, somehow relieve Charlie’s physical pain. As for the wish, he recalled that Charlie was right. “So tell me, what do you wish for?”
“I want the joke to be real. I want you to marry my mom. Those are your intentions, aren’t they? I want to know how serious you are.”
Hart sat there, the machines giving the occasional beep. He’d spent all summer with Kellie. He’d known he’d wanted her from the moment he’d first seen her. He’d proved himself to be more than a joke. He’d never be tired of her. He kissed her and felt the world move. Every time they’d made love had been heavenly, proof that together they were magical. He wanted nothing more than to wake up every morning with her by his side. The stolen moments before she returned to her motor home and Charlie weren’t enough.
“Those are my intentions,” Hart said.
“Good.” Charlie sunk into the pillow, as if the short conversation had exhausted him. A minute of silence passed before he was able to speak again. “I’m glad, you know. I need to know if anything ever happened to me that she wouldn’t be alone. She’ll have you.”
“She’ll have me,” Hart said, although deep down he worried that she wouldn’t have him. Kellie hadn’t been the same since Hart’s visit to the infield care center. She’d been distant, almost as if she were beginning to push him away. Hart wanted nothing more than to be with Kellie. All he could give, all the love he could show her might not be enough. Hart had the strangest sensation that he was driving a race he couldn’t win. No matter how many times he went around, he wouldn’t finish. He wouldn’t win Kellie’s heart.
He’d never known fear before. Never gave the emotion much credence beyond taking common-sense precautions. He strapped himself into his car, hit the track and pushed the engine full out. He never worried or questioned, living each moment as they came.
Kellie and Charlie had changed that.
For the first time, Hart was afraid of losing. He couldn’t lose Charlie, a boy he loved and wanted to see grow into adulthood. He couldn’t lose Charlie’s mother, the woman he wanted in his future.
“I’m not racing this weekend,” Hart told Charlie. “I’m going to hang out with you, help out your mom and grandma.”
“They’ll like that,” Charlie said. “I do, too.” He coughed again and the machine beeped. They fell silent again, the images on the television screen muted. The door creaked open and Kellie walked in. She didn’t appear too surprised or too happy to see him.
“Hi, Kellie,” he said.
“Hart,” she replied, her body posture closed and tight. He longed to go and take her into his arms, kiss her senseless and tell her everything was going to be okay. As the doctor arrived to check on Charlie, Hart did neither.