“You two obviously have amazing chemistry,”
Tia said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look at anyone the way he looks at
you, and I’ve known him almost as long as I’ve known Ewan.”
Elle thought about the fact they couldn’t
keep their hands off each other. In the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen… it didn’t
matter. “But that’s not enough to sustain a relationship. I’m going back out on
the road soon. When I do, I’ll have to say good-bye to him.”
“Why? What makes you think he wouldn’t wait
for you?”
Elle smiled at her new friend’s naiveté. “I
spend the better part of my life on the road, and I wouldn’t have it any other
way. Asking Caleb to wait for me would be like asking him to put his life on
hold indefinitely. I can’t do that, and you wouldn’t want that for him, would
you?”
Tia looked torn. “I guess not. It’s not
fair though. He finally meets a great girl, and you two can’t be together
because of your career.” She put her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry, I
shouldn’t have said that. Of course your career should be your top priority.
You’re a bloody megastar with fans all over the world.”
“I don’t know if I’d go that far.” Elle
squeezed Tia’s hand. “But thank you for understanding. I just don’t want you
and Ewan to hate me for leading him on because that’s not what I’m trying to
do.”
“I know you’d never do that.”
“I tried to tell him it would never work,”
Elle said, thinking about their talk. “But when it came down to it, I wasn’t
ready to let him go. How selfish it that?”
Tia tucked her legs under her and pulled
her long sundress over her legs. “You’re not selfish. We all want a little piece
of happiness. That’s only natural.”
“I should be happy with my life as it is. I
shouldn’t be looking for more when I can’t have more.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve always tried to keep my relationships
casual since that’s the best thing for my career.”
“But it’s different with Caleb?”
“I just feel like I’m getting in too deep,
and it scares me,” Elle said. “We could never have a normal life together, and
that’s obviously what he wants. But whenever I think about cutting ties with
him, I get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. What’s that about?”
Tia grinned. “Sounds like love to me.”
That word again, the same one that had been
taunting Elle since she laid eyes on Caleb. “More like lust “
“I’ve experienced love, and I’ve
experienced lust,” Tia said, looking amused. “I think I can tell the
difference. When you’re in lust, you don’t look at someone
that
way.”
Elle hadn’t even realized she was fixated
on Caleb until Tia’s comment forced her to tear her eyes away. “It’s just that
I haven’t been with anyone
like that
in a while.”
“And that’s the only reason?” Tia asked.
“Great sex?”
Elle giggled when she felt a blush creep up
her neck. It hadn’t been that long since she’d dumped Danny, but he was such a
distant memory when she was with Caleb that it felt as though it had years
since she’d been with another man. She liked having some girl talk with a woman
she knew she could trust. “That’s one reason.”
Tia smiled and wiggled her fingers,
indicating she was waiting for more. “Tell me the others.”
“Caleb listens to me. He understands me. He
doesn’t judge me.” Elle drew a deep breath when she felt tears fill her eyes.
“He wants to protect me. He makes me feel appreciated and cherished. He makes
me feel special.”
A soft smile played on Tia’s lips, and Elle
could tell what she was thinking.
“I’m in love with him, aren’t I?” Elle
said.
“I’m afraid so.”
“Oh God.” Elle slapped her forehead. “What
am I going to do?”
“Just go with it.”
***
Caleb was worried about Elle. She’d been
withdrawn ever since her chat with Tia. Even when they made love, she’d seemed
distant, as though she was trying to protect herself.
Gliding his hand down her bare back, he
pulled her closer. “You okay? You’ve been kind of quiet.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, resting her cheek
against his chest. “I’ve been running these lyrics through my head. Usually
when that happens, I just go into my studio and work it out. Obviously I can’t
do that here.”
“We could build a spot for your studio
here. Even though we’re right on the beach, some people have private pools, so
pool houses are permitted. I’ve been thinking about adding a pool anyhow,
maybe—”
She pressed her fingertips against his
lips. “Please don’t. Don’t talk about a future we can never have. Don’t talk
about building a life around me.”
Caleb felt as if she’d punched him in the
gut. How could she make love to him as if she was grateful she’d finally found
her other half, then dismiss him as though he meant nothing to her? He sat up,
setting her back on the pillows when she tried to stop him.
“Don’t be upset,” she said. “I’m sorry. I
shouldn’t have said that. I just feel like I need to keep reminding you this
isn’t a permanent arrangement.”
“Why?” He looked at her over his shoulder.
He’d never been with a woman as stunningly beautiful as Elle, but her beauty
wasn’t what drew him in. It was that mystical quality that prompted millions of
fans to stand in line for hours to buy tickets to her concerts.
“Because it isn’t,” she said, sounding
helpless and frustrated. “It’s just… temporary.”
“Right, temporary.” He hated that word and
everything it implied. Was she going to cut him off tomorrow, next month, or
next year? He had no idea. He had too much pride to allow a woman to play him
this way, but he couldn’t force himself to walk away.
“I know that’s not what you want to hear,”
she said, touching his bicep. “I just don’t want you to think I lied to you or
led you on. I’m trying to be honest because I care about you.” She sighed.
“You’re a good guy, and you don’t deserve a woman who would lie to you about
her intentions.”
He’d never been with a woman as painfully
honest as Elle. She would sacrifice her own happiness to ensure he didn’t get
hurt. That was one of the many things that set her apart, one of the reasons he
couldn’t find the strength to end things before she caused him irreparable
damage.
“I hate this push and pull,” he said,
reaching for her hand before he could think better of it. He needed to feel the
warmth of her skin to convince himself she was more than an illusion. “I hate
going back and forth, feeling like I’m on top of the world one minute and
kissing rock bottom the next.”
“I know.” She sounded tortured. “I’m sorry.
I feel the same way you do. I keep telling myself to just let you go, but every
time I try, I can’t.”
He faced her, wishing they could find a
place to escape where no one knew her and she could forget about her career for
a while. Even here, surrounded by people who knew and loved him, jaws dropped
when people spotted her.
She pulled the sheet tighter around her
bust as she sat up. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking I’d like to abduct you.” He
smiled to let her know he was kidding. “I’d like to take you away for a while
so we can be alone and figure out whether what we have, what we could have, is
worth fighting for.”
“You did take me away from it all, and it’s
been wonderful. I’ve had an amazing time this weekend, meeting your friends and
family. It was exactly what I needed. Thank you.”
“But we’re leaving tomorrow.” He didn’t
know why he felt so frustrated. He’d allowed his imagination to create a
picture-perfect scenario of what real life with her could be like.
“And?”
“I just thought we’d leave here closer than
when we came.” He sighed. “If anything, I feel like we’re further apart. You
keep talking about the end, and all I can think is that I don’t want it to
end.”
“You think that’s what I want?” She
laughed. “With you, I’m happy, care-free even. When you took me out on your
boat and I lost that tuna, I thought you were going to yell at me.” She gave
him an impish grin. “But you teased me and let me know it didn’t matter as long
as I was having fun. You don’t expect me to be perfect. You like me just the
way I am.” She looked up at him through her impossibly long lashes.
He
loved
her for who she was. Not
because of her killer pipes or star quality… just because she made him feel
young and reminded him he wasn’t too old to pursue his dreams. Dreams that
didn’t revolve around making money.
“I love it here,” he said, looking around
the spacious bedroom. Dark had fallen, but with the shades up, they could see
the full moon lighting the patio. “I don’t want to leave.”
“You’re serious?”
“I am.” He released her hand and walked
over to the french doors leading to the patio. “My heart is here.”
“But your business is in Nashville. What
about that?”
“I could sell my business.” It wasn’t the
first time he’d thought about it. Now that he knew his parents were set for
life, the money didn’t seem important anymore.
“What would you do here?” she asked,
pulling her legs up to her chin. “Would you work?”
“I don’t know.” He opened the door, letting
the cool ocean breeze blow through the storm screen. “I think I’d fish every
day, maybe do some surfing.” He shrugged. “I might take a cooking class or two.
There are a lot of things I’ve thought of doing but never had time for. I know
it seems crazy, the thought of retiring before forty, but when I’m here, it
just makes me wonder why I go back to Nashville. What’s the point when my heart
keeps calling me back here?”
“You don’t have to come back with me tomorrow,”
she said. “If you want to stay, to extend your vacation, you could.”
He turned toward her. He didn’t know if he
wanted to stay without her. “As much as I love it here, I’m kind of sorry I
brought you.”
She stiffened, hurt crossing her face. “You
are?”
“You just told me you’re going to leave
me.” The wind rustled his hair as he gripped the door handle, torn between
leaving and staying. “Your memory will always be here now. I’ll see you in that
bed, looking sexy as hell. Making coffee in the kitchen, burning burgers on the
grill.”
She stuck her tongue out when he reminded
of her mishap at the barbeque. But the light-hearted tone dissipated, leaving
only sadness in its wake when she met his somber gaze. “I wouldn’t hurt you for
anything, but I can’t pretend I’d trade one moment I’ve spent with you.”
“It’s not fair.” He couldn’t help but feel
life had dealt him a lousy hand. “How could fate introduce me to the woman of
my dreams only to find we’re going in opposite directions?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been asking myself the
same question. I never expected to meet someone like you. Now that I have, I
know you’ll always have a piece of my heart, no matter where I go or what I do.
But the bigger part of me belongs to my fans, to my music.”
He should be angry with her, but he
couldn’t be. She’d always been honest and upfront about her intentions, so if
they only had a few more days or weeks or months together, he’d take it.
Climbing back in bed and pulling her close, he asked, “Can you do me a favor?”
“Sure,” she said, tracing circles on his
chest. “What is it?”
“Let’s not talk about the future anymore.
When our time is up, it’s up. No hard feelings. Agreed?”
She raised her head, lifting her lips to
his. “Agreed.”
“I have one more thing to ask of you.”
“Okay,” she said, sounding more hesitant.
“You seem to have a hard time opening up to
people.”
She inched back, looking defensive. “You
have to be guarded in my business. If you’re not, you’ll be taken advantage
of.”
“Do you believe you can trust me?” he
asked, brushing his fingertip across her cheek.
“Yes.”
“Enough to tell me your deepest, darkest
secrets?” He knew he was taking a risk, but he thought if he convinced her she
could trust him, it might make it harder for her to walk away.
“What are you suggesting?” she asked,
lifting an eyebrow. “That we play truth or dare?”
“No, just that we commit to telling each
other the truth, even when it’s hard. I know I can’t be the man who fills that
void in your life—”
“There is no void in my life.”
“Fine,” he said, biting back a retort. “But
at least let me be your friend, Elle. Like Evan or Drake or Ryan.”
“That’s ridiculous.” She reared back to
look him in the eye. “I’ve never slept with any of them. I’m not attracted to
them. I think of them as brothers, not lovers.”
He was pleased that she placed him in a
different class, but he knew for a woman like Elle, love would never come
without trust. “Does that mean we can’t be friends and lovers?”
She twisted her lips. “Friends with
benefits?”