Caleb leaned forward, propping his elbows
on his knees as he ran a hand over his hair. “This isn’t your problem, it’s
mine.”
“What is?” she asked, touching his
shoulder. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I’m not used to feeling this way.” He took
a deep breath. “I’m used to being sure of myself, and with you, I feel so…
uncertain and confused.”
Elle wanted to put his mind at ease, but
she didn’t know how.
“I hate that I feel the need to hold on so
tight, like you’re going to slip away or something.”
She tried to put herself in his position,
imaging how she would feel if he was on the road all the time with groupies
clamoring for his attention. “I wrote a song about you.”
“You mentioned that.”
“Would you like to hear it?” Elle was
cognizant of the fact there wasn’t a lot of distance between Caleb’s house and
his neighbors’, but she would chance someone hearing her pour her heart out to
him if it meant she could make him feel secure in what they had.
“I’d love to.”
***
Caleb listened while Elle’s sweet voice
enveloped him. The only thing running through his mind was,
I’m falling in
love with this woman, and when she leaves, it’ll destroy me.
He listened to
her words about their connection, knowing in his heart she felt his passion. He
could never convey it as easily because he wasn’t born with her gift. He could
only think of one way to show her…
“Come inside with me,” he said, reaching
for her hand when she finished the song.
“Did you like it?” She sounded uncertain,
but she let him lead her through the patio doors into the great room.
“Did I like it?” He closed the door before
pressing a button to close the shades. “I loved it.” Backing her against the
wall, he pushed the straps of her dress off her shoulders as he kissed her neck.
“Hmmm…” She tipped her head back against
the wall as she gripped his shoulders. “I love when you kiss me there.”
He continued to nip and lick her sensitive
skin, basking in her subtle moans and labored breathing. He slid the dress down
her body to reveal a lacy black thong and strapless black bra. Stepping back,
he struggled to find reason in the face of lust. How had he fallen for a woman
who could, and probably would, break his heart?
“Is something wrong?”
“No,” he said, choosing to ignore his fear.
Lowering his head to take her mouth, he fixed both hands above her head.
“Everything’s right. You’re so perfect… I love seeing you like this.”
Elle wrapped her arms around him, pulling
his mouth down to hers. Scooping her up in his arms, he made his way up the
stairs, barely stopping to catch his breath at the top step.
Elle laughed. “You didn’t have to carry
me.”
“I didn’t want to let you go.” He knew that
figuring out how to let her go when the time came for her to hit the road would
be the hardest part. A quick intake of breath preceded another kiss, and Caleb
questioned whether they would ever make it to the bed or if it even mattered.
“I need you,” she whispered when he set her
down in the middle of his king-sized bed.
Need.
An
emotion Caleb had never been better acquainted with. He pulled his T-shirt over
his head and tossed it aside as he crawled on top of her. In the months since
he’d broken up with his last girlfriend, he hadn’t met anyone tempting enough
to lure him into the bedroom. He hoped his hunger for Elle wouldn’t diminish
his performance and disappoint her.
She arched her back to unfasten her bra
before she tossed it aside. Her eyes darkened as she wrapped her legs around
his waist, pulling him closer. Caleb chastised himself for rushing as he kissed
across her collarbone before plumping her breasts. He wanted to go slower, to
enjoy every second of their first time. He knew it would be one of the best and
most memorable experiences of his life, but he couldn’t bring himself to slow
down. The only thought going through his head was how amazing it would feel to
be inside of her.
“Mmmm…” She arched her back as she pushed
her palms into the mattress. “Yessss….”
He quickly learned her hot buttons and was
thrilled to find there were many. She was a hot, sexy, passionate woman who
clearly enjoyed sex as much as he did.
“I’m warning you,” he muttered, gliding his
mouth down her stomach. “This may take all night.” He made quick work of
shedding her panties, smiling at the naughty twinkle in her eyes.
“Do you hear me complaining?”
He loved that she was in no hurry. For the
first time in his life, forever didn’t seem nearly long enough. “I don’t intend
to give you reason to complain… about anything.”
Even if it killed him to restrain himself,
he vowed to love her like no one ever had, paying attention to every moan and
sigh. He studied her reactions, learning what would make her want him to be her
one and only lover. The most intimate of kisses earned him the response he’d
been seeking—an excited gasp followed by a throaty moan before his name slipped
past her lips.
He loved her thoroughly, thinking he never
wanted to stop. She throbbed and pulsated, begging for relief from the
sensations rolling through her before she dug her heels into the mattress and
reached for him. After shedding the rest of his clothes, Caleb stretched out on
top of her, mindful of supporting his weight with his forearms.
“You’re so beautiful with that blush on
your cheeks.” He kissed her tenderly, smiling. “That sparkle in your eyes, that
sexy tousled look that tells the world you’ve just—”
She grabbed his neck, kissing him deeply.
She moaned into his mouth and wrapped her legs around his.
It took everything in him to find the
wherewithal to reach into his nightstand for a condom while his brain
functioned on a limited blood supply. “Gimme a minute, baby.” His hand trembled
as he tried to roll on the condom. “Jesus, I haven’t been this anxious since I
was a teenager.”
She smiled as she flattened her hand
against his chest, feeling his racing heart. “For the record, I feel the same
way.”
He knew she was trying to put him at ease,
to remind him she was a regular person with the same fears and anxiety he had,
but she wasn’t. As he glided inside of her, kissing her deeply, he tried to let
go of the feeling of dread washing over him.
What if she regrets letting
this go so far? What if she blames me for rushing her or thinks I brought her
here just to get her into bed?
“Are you going to make love to me or
psychoanalyze me?”
He had to laugh, which he was sure had been
her intent. “Make love to you. Definitely.” He moved slowly, savoring the way
her body reacted to every stroke. “I’ve been thinking about this since the
first time I saw you on your front porch.” He closed his eyes, remembering the
way he’d felt the first time he saw her.
Speechless.
Star-struck
.
“You’re not the only one.” She lifted her
hips as her mouth tilted into a half-smile. She knew what she was doing to him,
and she clearly enjoyed every minute of it.
Caleb pulled back as a breath hissed
between his lips. “You feel too good.”
“I could say the same about you.” She
gently scored his back with her nails. “Please don’t stop.”
Stopping was the last thing on his mind. He
was thinking an all-nighter might be in order. Since he didn’t know when they
could steal away again, he wanted to make the most of their time together. His
eyes fastened on hers, and he felt indiscernible emotion welling up in his
throat. His body moved instinctively with hers in a rhythmic dance. He felt as
though they’d done it before, like they knew exactly what the other wanted and
needed.
“Caleb…” she whispered as she gripped him
tighter, her body jerking.
He closed his eyes, fisting his hands on
either side of her head. He tried to hold back, to belabor the ecstasy just a
few seconds longer. But when she opened her eyes, she took control, letting him
know she wanted him to concede the way she had.
He forced his mind to shut down, giving
into the vibrations ricocheting through his body. “Elle.”
I’m falling in
love with you.
He wanted to say those words, but he didn’t think she would
believe them yet. “You’re incredible.”
He brushed her hair off her damp forehead,
biting his lip as he burned with emotion. He’d never felt desperate to tell a
woman how he felt about her. The shoe was usually on the other foot in his
experience, with women complaining about the attention he gave
his
career.
“I think you’re pretty incredible too,” she
said, slapping his butt as she wiggled beneath him. She was obviously trying to
lighten the mood, to prevent him from saying something she wasn’t ready to
hear. “I don’t know about you, but I worked up quite a thirst. I’m going to get
a glass of water. Do you want one?”
He rolled off of her, knowing he didn’t
have a choice but to let her go. “Sure, thanks.”
Caleb watched her reach for the T-shirt
he’d tossed aside. She slipped it over her head and gave him a saucy smile over
her shoulder. He knew that look. He’d seen it before when she turned it on for
the cameras. Whatever had just happened between them, it clearly left her
wanting to retreat.
Elle had been naïve to think she could
balance a relationship this intense with her demanding career. Caleb was
already trying to figure out where this was going. Before long, he’d be
complaining when she got up in the middle of the night to work on a song or
when she had to go out on tour—
The phone beside her rang, startling her.
Elle glanced at the call display, but it read “line in use” before she could
tell who was calling. She listened to Caleb’s deep voice drifting down the
stairs. Her heart felt torn in two. She was crazy about this man, but she was
afraid of allowing herself to get too involved. Would she become dependent on
him? Would she lose her sense of identity? Would she have to sacrifice her
career for a future with him? Would he hurt and disappoint her the way Ricky
had?
“That was my mom,” Caleb said, bracing one
hand on the wall as he watched her.
She didn’t know how long he’d been standing
there, but she sensed it had been a while. “How did she know you were here?”
“She called my office. They told her.”
“Oh.” Elle took a sip of water, hoping he
wouldn’t ask her what she was thinking.
“I told her about you.”
Elle winced, wishing she could take it back
when his face fell. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Yes, you did.” He sighed. “You think
things are moving too fast, that I’m pressuring you, don’t you?”
Elle sat on a bar stool at the center
island and let her head rest on her palm. How could she explain what she was
feeling when she wasn’t sure herself? “I never expected to meet someone like
you, Caleb. Especially not at this stage in my life. In fact, I’ve been trying
to avoid getting involved in a relationship.”
“Then why did you?” he asked, the muscle in
his jaw twitching.
“Because…” Nothing she could say would
placate him, but she still felt the need to defend herself. “I developed
feelings for you. I didn’t intend to, but I did. I came here because I wanted
to spend more time with you, to get to know you better, and to get away from my
crazy life for a while. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to get back to it.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked,
frowning.
“I love my life,” she said. “Exactly the
way it is.”
“That means you don’t need me to make you
happy. Isn’t that what you’re trying to say?”
Her heart was breaking for the pain she was
causing him, but she had to be honest. “I don’t believe we can make another
person happy no matter how much we want to. That has to come from within. My
music makes me happy. It always has and always will. It’s the only thing I can
count on, the only thing I can trust.”
He looked torn between hurt and anger. “You
can trust me. I thought you believed that.”
“I know the kind of man you are,” she said,
extending her hand, hoping he would take it. He didn’t. “You’re hard working
and honest. You’re there for your family and friends when they need you, and I
know you’d be there for me too.”
“What’s the problem then?” He leaned
against the doorframe as he folded his arms over his chest.
“The problem is me. The kind of
relationship you seem to want doesn’t fit into my plans right now.” She thought
about her album, the tour, the countless hours in the studio, not to mention
the endless promotion. It was exhausting just thinking about it. “I don’t know
that it ever will.”
“There has to be more to life than your
career, Elle.” He stepped forward, fisting his hands on the hard granite. “You
have to be willing to let someone in, to let someone love you.”