Having Her: Lies We Tell, Book 2 (25 page)

Perhaps she should have taken the hint and left him alone at the airport. But she hadn’t been able to. The expression on his face as he’d said goodbye to his sister had been set and grim. And she’d got the idea by now that he looked like that when he was protecting himself.

And if she felt sad at Ellie’s departure, then he must be feeling pretty shitty about it too.

So it made sense for them to feel shitty together.

At least that’s what she told herself. Totally not anything to do with the fact that she missed him, a nagging ache that wouldn’t seem to go away.

Vin grabbed the coffee and pushed his chair back, stretching out his long, denim-clad legs. “Who’s watching the café then?” he asked as he raised the cup to his mouth.

“Tom. I’ll have to go back in an hour.” She watched as he took a sip. “Good?”

“Yeah.” He took another sip, eyes narrowing as she hitched herself up on the edge of his desk. “Have you made any decisions about the baby yet?”

Kara let out a breath. Over the past couple of nights she’d thought about it, stressing about how she was going to cope with the café. The financial side of it already wasn’t good, adding a kid to the mix only made it worse. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to do the sums because she knew that whichever way she looked at it, unless she had a huge injection of cash, the business was going to tank.

She wrapped her hand around her latte, the heat of the cup warming her suddenly cold fingers. “No, not yet.”

“Should you be having that coffee?”

Kara scowled. “I’m giving up alcohol. No way I’m giving up caffeine.”

His gaze had dropped down to the bare expanse of her thigh, her skirt having ridden up due to her position on the desk. “And what about the café? How are you going to manage that?”

She liked the way he looked at her, no denying it. But she’d meant it when she’d told him they were done sleeping together. No point muddying the waters with sex. Especially the kind of sex they’d been having.

Wishing she’d worn a longer skirt, Kara pulled on the hem, trying not to look too obvious about it. “I don’t know yet. But I’m sure I’ll figure it out.”

Abruptly his eyes lifted to hers, sharp and focused. “What do you need? Money? Extra staff?”

Her defensiveness kicked in, she couldn’t help it. “Like I said, I’ll figure it out.”

“Don’t be stubborn about this, Kara. If you need help, ask for it.”

“I’m not being stubborn.”

“Bullshit, you’re not.” He put his coffee down and leaned forward, elbows on the desk. “Do you even want to keep the café?”

She could feel herself beginning to bristle. “Of course I want to keep it. It’s my business.”

“Why? It’s not like it’s a roaring success.”

“Hey, what the hell would you know?”

“You hardly have any customers and Ellie told me you’re struggling.”

Kara stared at him in shock. “Ellie told you?”

He didn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed. “I asked her.”

Making a mental note to kill her friend at the earliest opportunity, Kara gave him a disgusted glance. “Jesus, Vincent—”

“Don’t be so bloody defensive,” he cut her off with his customary bluntness. “I had to know because this concerns me too.”

“Yes, but—”

“Your business is failing and you’re fighting a losing battle. Trying keep it afloat at the same time as bringing up a child is a recipe for ruin. Believe me, I know this. I’ve done it.”

Kara struggled with her outrage at his arrogance. And also with a strange sense of relief that she wasn’t alone. That someone else knew exactly what she was going through. It wasn’t something she experienced very often. “Oh yeah, and you’re so ruined.” She gestured at the office around them. “Looks like one hell of a ruin to me.”

Vin’s hard gaze didn’t flinch. “Because I took on a shitload of debt and worked my ass off. Because I didn’t see my sister for years I was working so damn hard. Because I had Hunt to look after her. You want that for our kid? I sure as hell don’t and I don’t think you do either.”

Well, no, of course she didn’t. Her mother had given her such a great example of what not to do after all.

She swallowed and looked away from him, glancing down at the coffee in her hands. “Why me? Why can’t
you
give up your bloody business?” Even as she said it, she knew how childish it sounded. Not to mention stupid. Fox Chase was successful and growing. He’d be mad to give it up.

“You think I’m not giving up stuff?” he said in a low voice. “I am. I’m going to have to can the architecture degree I planned to start this year.”

She glanced back at him. “Architecture degree?”

This time it was his turn to look away. “Yeah. I want Fox Chase to be able to offer the total package. Design and build. And I wanted to specialize in green building. But I don’t have the skills yet.”

“You can’t hire an architect?”

“No. I want to do it.” A small hesitation. “It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. I’ve just never had the chance.”

And now he wouldn’t. Thanks to their stupid affair.

She didn’t know what to say. Looking back at her hands once again, she eventually said, “I don’t want to give up the café. Because if I did…” She stopped. Because every little piece of herself she gave him felt like she was making herself even more vulnerable. “I’m not sure what else I would do.”

He was quiet a moment. “What else did you want to do?”

“I…don’t know.” Slowly she turned the cup in her hands. “I liked drawing cartoons. That’s all I was any good at in school. Just stupid little drawings. And then I got a part time job in a café and I got quite good at making coffee too. Then I read about the Japanese manga café culture so I thought I’d get one going here. Especially since it combined the two things I kind of enjoyed.”

“That’s not what I asked, Kara.”

She bit her lip. “I told you. I don’t know what I want to do. The café earned me some money and I was okay with that.” At least she’d been happy. But now the status quo was upset. Now she would have to reconsider things. Her unease deepened. She’d never had much in the way of ambition at school. Never let herself have any. Because wanting something was too hard and she’d had too many rejections in her life to contemplate reaching for more.

The café had been a safe choice, she saw now. Because here she was, contemplating giving it up, and yet her fear wasn’t about losing it, it was about not knowing what else to do.

“But it’s not earning you money now and being okay with something is hardly a life.” Vin’s words were uncompromising and uncomfortable. “What about those cartoons then?”

“Sure. Like drawing manga is a smart career choice.” She shifted on the desk. “It’s a moot point. Since I’m going to have a kid, I won’t be having much of a life anyway.”

“Don’t be stupid. It’s not that cut and dried. Kids aren’t the end of your life.”

“Right back at ya, buddy.” She put her cooling latte down on the desk. “Kids and architecture school aren’t mutually exclusive either.”

“But they are if you have a full time job and other responsibilities. And if you want to spend any time at all with them.”

Kara stared at him. Once again she was getting the implacable mask. The one that said,
These are the facts. Suck it up
. “You really have all the answers, don’t you? It doesn’t have to be that way all the time, Vin. You can change your reality if you want it enough.”

His blue-gray gaze stared back, unflinching. “So change yours, Kara. Stop shooting for
good enough
. Aim higher.”

Unease twisted inside her. “What’s wrong with
good enough
?”

“Nothing. But you’re better than that. You’re smart and you’re clever and you’re determined. You should want more.”

His words went straight through her like arrows punching through tin foil. And she knew he meant every one because he never said anything he didn’t mean.

“What if I don’t want more? What if I’m happy with what I have?”

He saw so much. So much she didn’t want him to see and yet couldn’t seem to hide from him. “But you’re not happy. Are you, baby?”

“Neither are you.”

He let out a long slow breath. “I guess we can’t always get what we want, right?”

A silence fell between them. Heavy with the weight of burdens they were carrying.

Then abruptly Vin got up from his desk, walked over to the windows, tightly leashed restlessness in every line of his tall, broad figure. “You know I’m building a house, right?” he said.

She did know. He’d been in the process of building it for a while now, doing the job himself. Ellie had told her it was because he was such a control freak he wouldn’t let anyone else touch it. “What about it?”

“I’ve fast-tracked the building. It should be finished in a month or so. I want you to move in when it’s done.”

Shock moved like a cold wave over her. “You want me to move in?” she repeated blankly. “Why?”

He swung round to face her. “Because you’re pregnant. And I need you close in order to look after you.”

“I’m not sick, Vin. I don’t need looking after.”

“That’s my child you’re carrying. And I told you I’m not abandoning it. My job as a father starts now.”

Kara slipped off the desk. No way was he starting into his control-freak stuff. Not with her. “No. You don’t get to do that, Vincent Fox. You don’t get to order me around like you own me. I’m not your slave anymore. And I’m not your sister either. I’m not even your freaking girlfriend. Yes, this child is yours but it’s also mine. And you need to leave me alone to make my own decisions about how this is going to go.”

Frustration crossed his face. “If you think I’m going to stand back and take a passive role in this kid’s life you’ve got another think coming. I won’t let you do this alone.”

Oh crap, that’s all she needed. Vin doing his protective thing. And he wouldn’t back down about it. “That doesn’t mean I have to move in with you.”

“Fine. I’ll sell the house and move in with you.”

“You will bloody not!”

“Why not? You won’t have to pay rent. And you’ll have someone around to look out for you.”

“I don’t
need
anyone to look out for me.” She’d been looking after herself for years now. Yeah, okay, so she loved him but she didn’t need him, that was for sure. “God, next you’ll be offering marriage.”

His eyes narrowed. “Perhaps that would be a good idea. Kids need a family.”

A weird kind of panic turned over inside her. Marriage? A family?

It’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? Normal?

Yes, it was. But him marrying her because he had to, because she was pregnant, that wasn’t the kind of normal she had in mind. People got married because they loved each other.

What makes you think you deserve anyone’s love?

Out of nowhere came the image of the collar, the one she’d shoved in a drawer the day she’d taken that pregnancy test. The one he’d given her for her birthday. A beautiful and precious gift, something you surely didn’t give to a casual screw. Too good for her and yet, “
You belong to me,”
he’d said before giving her the key.

A pain settled in her chest, a sharp kind of hope she didn’t want to acknowledge. Forcing the thought from her head, she chucked her cup in the bin beside the desk. “Well, I hate to disappoint you but I’m not the marrying kind. And as for all this moving-in shit, that’s not going to happen either. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a café to run.” She moved to the door, grasped the handle.

“Stop being so bloody stubborn, baby girl,” Vin growled.

“And you respect my right to say no, asshole.”

She didn’t wait for an answer, slamming the door behind her as she left.

Vin looked down at the plans he’d had loaded onto his iPad then glanced back up at the building taking shape in front of him. The roof was on already—Hunter’s fix for the roofline had worked a treat—and soon they’d be ready to do the cladding. The two new apprentices he’d just hired had been a little wild, but they’d already been nicely whipped into shape by the guy he’d taken on to replace Hunter.

Maybe he and Kara would be able to move in before the twelve-week mark.

Vin glanced down at the iPad again, checking his email, but there was nothing from her.

Not hugely surprising given how angry she’d been with him the day she’d walked out of his office. He’d decided after that to give her some space, and it had been a couple of weeks since he’d had more than a few terse texts from her telling him she was goddamn okay and to stop fucking bothering her.

Typical Kara. She must be really annoyed with him.

Of course he shouldn’t have asked Ellie about her business without her knowledge. But then he had to do something. Had to feel like some plans were being made. Okay, so it was early on in the pregnancy but a little information gathering wouldn’t hurt. And whether he knew or not didn’t change the fact that her business
was
in trouble.

And he hadn’t been kidding about her moving in. He wanted her close so he could make sure she and the baby were okay. She might think it was some kind of control- freak thing and yeah, maybe it was. But that’s just how he operated. It was either that or he rang her every day, called in to see her every evening, and he didn’t think she’d like that either.