Havoc (Storm MC #8) (15 page)

“
T
hat was a huge knife
, Nash, and there was so much blood! And why the fuck is it taking so long for the doctor to come out and tell us what’s happening?” My skin itched and my chest felt like it would explode from the onslaught of emotions raging through me. Fear, anger, frustration, hatred. I wanted to kill the man who had done this to Havoc.

Nash's strong arms circled me and he pulled me close. “Havoc’s a fighter, babe. I’ve seen him survive fights I didn’t think he’d pull through on. And he’s in the best possible place.”

“Nash is right,” Velvet agreed. “And the doctors are busy working on him. You don’t want to drag them away from what they’re doing.”

I stared at them. “It’s been hours!” All my fears collided and I could no longer hold back my tears.

I can’t lose him.

Nash held me until my tears stopped. “Like Velvet said, the doctors are looking after him and they’ll be out when they have news. And I’m sure it’ll be good news.” His words surprised me. He’d been so angry with Havoc when Paul threatened me. The gentle tone he’d just used was a vast change.

When I pulled out of his embrace, I whispered, “Thank you.”

He nodded and let me go. “I need coffee. You want one?”

“Yes, please.”

He pointed at the seats. “Take a load off and don’t go anywhere.” He took drink orders from Mum and Velvet and then left us.

I watched him leave before taking a seat next to Mum. She slid her arm over my shoulders and pulled me close. “Havoc means a lot to you, doesn’t he?”

Nodding, I replied, “Yes. More than I realised.”

“I think he’s good for you, baby. I’ve never seen you so happy with a man before.”

I rested my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes. It had been a long night and exhaustion embraced me. I wanted to stay awake for Havoc but the act of resting my head caused my body to relax.

Mum murmured something but her words floated past without me deciphering them.

Havoc has to survive this.

I need him.

“Carla Walker?”

My eyes snapped open and I lifted my head.

When I saw a doctor approaching, I jumped out of my seat. “Yes.”

My breathing slowed when I took in the grim expression on his face, but I fought to remain calm. Who knew, maybe he always looked like that?

“I wanted to give you an update on your partner,” he said. I had to tell them Havoc was my partner for them to give me any information. “He’s had a significant liver laceration that has resulted in massive internal bleeding. The severe blood loss caused his blood pressure to drop dangerously low. We’ve given him a blood transfusion to replace the lost blood volume and prevent his body from going into shock.”

Internal bleeding.

Blood transfusions.

Going into shock.

The room spun while my brain processed all that.

This can’t be happening.

“Miss, are you okay?” The doctor took hold of my elbow and encouraged me to sit again.

“Carla.” My mother’s voice dragged me from my haze and I blinked as she came into focus. “Take a deep breath, baby.”

I sucked in as much air as I could.

I can’t breathe.

The doctor gently touched my arm. “We’ll let you know when we have new information.”

As soon as I nodded, he left.

Just like that.

I didn’t know what I was looking for from him, but it wasn’t any of that.

Havoc was stabbed.

Stabbed!

People die from that.

What else were you expecting?

The room spun and the darkness engulfed me.

“
C
arla
.”

Nash.

“Carla, can you hear me?”

A hand rested against my cheek and I flinched awake. Nash’s face hovered above mine and I took in the deep frown settled on it. “I can hear you,” I mumbled as I tried to get my bearings.

He moved his face and slid his arms under my armpits. Lifting me off the floor, he settled me on a seat and crouched in front of me. “You fainted and fell off the chair. Luckily, Mum kinda caught you so that your head didn’t hit the floor. How are you feeling?”

I touched my head. “I’m fine.” My fear for Havoc crept back to me. It was funny how someone could come into your life so unexpectedly and then be such an important part of it so fast. I had that deep-in-my-bones feeling that I would be heartbroken if something happened to Havoc.

Nash’s eyes searched mine before he stood. Passing me a bottle of water, he said, “I’ve gotta go and deal with some club shit. Will you be okay for awhile without me?”

“Has something happened?”

A look crossed his face as if he was carefully weighing his next words. “Let’s just say that once we’re done, Havoc won’t have to worry about being stabbed again.”

I knew what he was saying. I was sure it should have caused some sort of emotion in me, disbelief perhaps, but the only emotion it triggered was relief. And it felt like justice.

“I’ll be good. Don’t worry about me. You just go and take care of what you need to.” I reached for his hand and added, “Thank you.”

He spoke with Velvet for a few moments before kissing her goodbye and leaving the three of us alone. Nash had left a message with Havoc’s sister, but so far, we hadn’t heard from her. I knew his dad was in hospital, but I didn’t know which one. I hoped his sister would arrive soon because his father needed to know what had happened.

Mum, Velvet and I sat waiting for the doctor for what felt like an eternity, but in reality was just over two more hours. Two hours were a long time when you were waiting for the kind of news we were waiting for.

As the doctor approached, I bolted out of my seat.

Same doctor.

Same grim look on his face.

My heart sped up.

“Tell me it’s good news.” The words gushed out of my mouth.

He nodded, but the grim expression he wore didn’t change. “He’s out of surgery and will be moved to intensive care where we’ll monitor his vitals. His condition is serious, but for now he is stable.”

“So he’s going to be okay?”
Please say yes.

“It’s too soon to say for sure, but he’s stable for now. We need to keep an eye on his liver enzymes and make sure his blood pressure stabilises.”

Oh, God.

He’s not saying yes.

I stared at him, willing him to say something else, something good, but in the end, all he said was, “If you want, you can head up to ICU now and wait for him. It will still be some time before you’ll be able to see him, but if you let the nurses know when you get there, they’ll notify you as soon as you can go in.”

My words were captive in my throat, so Mum thanked the doctor. My heart crumbled as he left.

Dizziness circled my head and my legs threatened to give out on me.

He’s going to be okay.

He will pull through.

He has to.

My chest tightened with fear.

What if he doesn’t?

“
H
ere
, I got you coffee,” Nash said as he sat next to me and handed me a takeaway coffee.

“Thanks.”

After I took a sip, I stretched my back. The clock on the waiting room wall told me it was just after 5 a.m. We’d been at the hospital for about nine hours and I could hardly keep my eyes open. I didn’t want to sleep, though. I wanted to be awake when the nurse came to tell us he was conscious.

They’d allowed us in briefly once they had him settled in the ICU, but he’d been connected to tubes and had been sedated. He hadn’t looked like the strong, dominating man I knew, and it had thrown me. I’d visited loved ones in hospital before but seeing Havoc lying on that bed unconscious with all those tubes was too much. The knowledge he could die had slapped me in the face.

I wanted to rip those tubes out and shake him back to life.

I wanted to take back the invitation to dinner at my mum’s. If he hadn’t been there he would never have been stabbed.

I would have given anything to have him bossing me around again.

I’d been talking to God for the last few hours, promising all sorts of things if Havoc pulled through this. Hell, I’d even promised not to argue with everyone as much—something I knew I’d struggle with because arguing and me went together.

“You should think about heading home and getting some rest,” Nash said. He’d returned an hour earlier and had sent Velvet and Mum home to get some sleep. We still hadn’t heard from Havoc’s sister, which continued to concern me.

“No. I want to be here when he wakes up.”

“I know, but I can call you when he does and you can come straight back.”

I held his gaze. “I’m not leaving, Nash, so don’t keep on me about this, okay?”

He gave me the almost-scowl that he gave me when he was frustrated and nodded. “He better fuckin’ appreciate your concern for him.”

“A bit like yours, right?” He’d impressed me with the way he’d been at the hospital and taking care of club shit for Havoc. But I knew from the tone he’d just taken that he was still in denial about how he felt.

His almost-scowl morphed into a full scowl. “I’m here for you, not him.”

I was tired and over his issues. Sighing, I said, “Nash, you guys are club brothers. You’ve known him for years and had each other’s backs for as long. I don’t understand why you can’t get past this bullshit.”

“I don’t think you will ever understand the level of responsibility I feel for you, Carla. As far as I’m concerned, I’m gonna be looking out for you till the day I die. Any man who wants to be with you will have to jump through fuckin’ hoops to get my approval, because over my dead body will I allow another man to harm you the way our father has.”

His eyes held a depth of emotion I rarely saw from him and I reached for his hand. “One of these days you’re going to realise you get more with honey than vinegar, Nash Walker. I love you for looking out for me, and I know we will never stop pissing each other off, but I need to tell you that if you were to share your heart more like you just did rather than getting all bossy and assholey, we’d get along so much better.”

His eyes softened. “Assholey fits me better, babe.”

I swatted him. “Ask Velvet what
she
thinks. I’m sure she’ll agree with me.”

He grinned the trademark Nash grin. “I’m sure I could persuade her not to.”

I shook my head. My brother always had a way of making me smile and forgive his annoying ways.

He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. “If you won’t go home, I want you to put your head on my shoulder, close your eyes and get some sleep.” His eyes met mine and his grin was gone. “No arguments.”

“God, always so assholey,” I muttered, but I did as he said.

Weariness had claimed me and I knew I
needed
sleep, even if I didn’t want it.

“That’s because you’re always so damn argumentative. I bet Havoc would agree with me on that.”

I smiled.

He was softening; it would just take him some time to admit it.

V
oices pulled
me from a deep sleep and I blinked as I straightened.

“I’m Havoc’s sister, Yvette.”

I squinted. The sun streamed through the window of the waiting area straight into my eyes, obstructing my view of the woman speaking.

Nash removed his arm from my shoulders and stood. Extending his hand to her, he said, “Nash. We were wondering where you were.”

Yvette grimaced. “My phone battery died and I wasn’t at home to charge it. Worst timing.” She looked in the direction of the ICU before turning back to us. “Is he awake? And what the hell happened? I couldn’t really make out too much in your message except for the fact he was here.”

I could see Havoc in her. And not only in her facial features, but also in her cut-to-the-chase manner. She also looked like the kind of woman who could take care of herself. Her body was packed with muscle that looked like it took hours in the gym to build. Just like Havoc. And she appeared to be a no-fuss woman. Her clothes were not feminine at all, jeans and a T-shirt, and her hair was cut in a short style that wouldn’t require much effort in the morning.

Nash relayed what had happened while I stretched and drank some water. I watched while he explained it all to her and while concern shone in her eyes, she didn’t appear to be surprised. I wondered how often Havoc had gotten himself into trouble over the years.

After Nash filled her in, she turned to me. “You must be Havoc’s new woman.”

“He’s told you about me?” I was surprised.

She shook her head. “No, my brother doesn’t share shit easily, but I picked it.”

Something about what she’d said caused my tummy to flutter. I loved that his sister could sense that he had a woman.

I extended my hand. “I’m Carla. Nash’s sister.”

As she shook my hand, she said, “Good to meet you. Promise me you’ll pull my brother into line.”

I raised a brow. “I’m not sure he’s the kind of man to be pulled into line.”

“You might be surprised. I know he’s a force of nature, but something tells me you might just have a shot.”

If he survives.

A wave of worry hit me all over again.

“Carla.”

I spun around at the sound of my name.

A nurse looked at me with kind eyes and I shot another prayer up to God that those eyes were kind because she had good news and not because she had to tell me something bad.

“Is he awake?”

Please say yes.

I’ll do anything, God.

Anything.

She smiled. “Yes, he’s awake. He’s still a little groggy, but he asked for you.”

Oh, my God.

Relief coursed through my body and I felt a little lightheaded. I reached for Nash to hold onto. “So I can come in now?”

She continued to smile. “Yes, but only for a quick visit. Follow me.” She eyed Nash and Yvette. “I can only take two in.”

Nash indicated for Yvette to go with me and we followed the nurse. My legs were shaky and my breathing had picked up.

He’s awake.

He’s okay.

Thank you, God.

The nurse led us through the ICU and as we approached Havoc’s bed, I took a deep breath at the sight of him. Even in his wounded, groggy state, his eyes tracked me and he had that intense aura that was all Havoc.

“Carla,” he said, his voice raspy.

I moved to the bed and placed my hand on his arm. “I was so worried.” As my words came out, my tears fell. I couldn’t hold them back.

“Angel,” he murmured as he gripped my arm. His face contorted in pain, but he didn’t let me go. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Tears flowed down my cheeks and I nodded. Burying my face in his neck, I clung to him until I stopped crying. When I let him go, I took in his expression. He’d never looked at me that way before. It was a softer Havoc, and while he’d given me soft once or twice, it had nothing on this.

This soft told me he wanted me.

It cleared up any doubt I had.

“Thank fuck you’re not going anywhere. I want to see this woman pull you into line,” Yvette said.

Havoc’s lips twitched. “I see you’ve met my sister,” he said to me. “Don’t mind her, she’s a smartass.”

“I take after my brother,” she quipped.

Their banter reminded me of my family. I loved listening to them because although they were sparring, it was clear they felt deeply for each other.

He’d been groggy and in pain when we’d come in and it looked to me like he was struggling to continue the conversation. But Havoc being Havoc pushed through. Always the fighter.

When they finished talking, I touched his cheek. “You should go back to sleep.”

“I’m good,” he said.

I shook my head. “No, you’re not. You need your rest.”

He started to argue with me, but Yvette stepped in. “Sleep. We’ll be outside when you wake.” Bossy like her brother. I loved that.

I pressed a kiss to his lips and promised, “I’ll see you when you wake up.”

He nodded and closed his eyes.

A minute later, he was asleep.

I battled conflicting emotions—happiness that he was okay and worry that he was still fighting for his health.

“
Y
ou didn’t call
me to say he’d woken up,” I accused Nash later that day. I’d gone home just after I’d seen Havoc and slept. Nash had promised to call me when he had news. When I’d woken at five, I’d been pissed off that he hadn’t called.

He shook his head. “He hasn’t woken up again, Carla. So I let you sleep.”

“What do you mean he hasn’t woken up again?” I demanded.

“Exactly that. He’s slept all day.”

Alarm spiked through me. “Are the doctors doing something? Why is he still asleep? What did they say?”

He placed his hands on my shoulders. “Calm down, babe. They’re saying he’s sedated and still stable. And they’ve run his bloods a few times to check his levels. I’m sure if there was something to worry about, they would have told us.”

I took a deep breath. “Okay.” Looking around the waiting room, I asked, “Where’s Yvette?”

“She’s with their father, but will be back here later.” His gaze shifted to look past me. Jerking his chin, he said, “Scott.”

I turned to find Scott Cole approaching. I’d met him a few times over the years and he’d always struck me as a moody guy, but Nash was pretty close to him so I figured he couldn’t be too bad.

“Nash,” he returned the greeting before eyeing me. “Hi, Carla. How’s Havoc?”

“He’s stable.”

But not awake.

“Good.” He turned his attention to Nash. “You got a minute, brother?”

“You okay here?” Nash asked me and I nodded.

“Thanks,” Scott said. “J will be by later to check on him.”

As they walked out into the corridor, I sat. Thankful the waiting room was empty, I allowed my tears to fall. I wasn’t the kind of woman to cry often. Usually when shit wasn’t going my way I fought back. But this situation didn’t give me that opportunity.

I couldn’t fix this.

Instead, I’d have to dig deep and get myself together.

Havoc needed me to be strong for him when he couldn’t be strong for himself.

H
avoc drifted
in and out of consciousness that night and the next day. The doctors kept drawing blood to check his levels and they kept telling us he was stable.

Stable.

I fucking hated that word by the end of the second day.

Why couldn’t they give us something more?

All I wanted to hear was that he was going to be okay, but whenever I asked that question, they gave me their standard answer.

Stable.

Fucking stable.

I refused to go home again. I’d hated leaving him that first day. I wasn’t doing it again. I put work on hold and took up residence at the hospital. This meant Nash and I bickered constantly. He came and went a few times, and whenever he visited, he tried to boss me into leaving. In the end, Mum got sick of it and told him to leave if he was going to keep arguing with me.

So by the end of the second day, he and I sat next to each other, arms folded over our chests, both of us with a scowl on our faces.

“Fuck, hospitals suck,” I declared, blowing out a harsh breath.

“Won’t argue with you there, babe,” Nash agreed.

It was nearing 9 p.m. and we were alone after Mum and Velvet had gone home for the night, and Yvette had left us to grab some dinner.

“Do you believe in heaven?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“And hell?”

“Yep.”

“So you believe in God and the Devil and all that?” We’d never had this conversation and besides killing time, I was interested to know his beliefs.

“Yes. I have to.”

I turned to him. “Because of Aaron?” His son who had died.

“I believe Aaron is in heaven and I believe it’s a better place than Earth. It’s the only thing that got me through some bad days.” I heard the raw emotion in his voice.

I placed my hand over his. “He’s definitely in a better place, Nash. And you’re going to see him again one day.”

His jaw clenched and I knew this had turned into a hard conversation for him. I loved him all the more for continuing it. “Yeah.”

The doors to the ICU opened at that moment and a nurse walked our way. “Carla?” she asked.

“Is he awake?”

She nodded and I almost sagged in relief. “Yes, you can come through and see him.”

Nash gripped my hand and pulled me up. We followed her in and a couple of minutes later, I was looking at the man who had taken up a lot of space in my heart.

“Darlin’.”

It was one word, but it meant the world to me.

He looked better and sounded better.

And I felt it in my bones.

He’s going to make it.