Havoc (Storm MC #8) (19 page)

I parted my legs to give him access to what he craved. A moment later, I moaned when his finger entered me. “I want you to wake up next to me every morning and do that.” My words came out in a pant. I’d woken up wet for him and if he continued his finger action, I’d come fast.

“Roll onto your back, darlin’, I want those tits in my mouth.”

Obeying his direction, I stared up into his brown eyes for a beat.

I love those eyes.

Havoc’s eyes told me everything I needed to know. Turned on, happy, frustrated, pissed off, avoiding me—it was all there and I had learned how to read him much better. That morning they told me how much he wanted me. And how much he loved my boobs.

After he dedicated some serious time to my breasts, he gave me back his eyes. The need I saw there shot heat straight to my core. “Fuck, you could make me come from that look alone,” I said as I writhed under his gaze.

A knock on the front door distracted him. “You need to get that?”

I took hold of his face. “No, just ignore it and finish me off.” My reply came out more as a beg than a request and he chuckled.

When the knocking on the door grew insistent, I grumbled, “Fuck, they need to go away.”

He moved off the bed and pulled his jeans on. “I’ll take care of it.”

I watched him leave, annoyed at whoever had dragged him away. When I heard his voice raise a couple of minutes later, I figured I should see who had caused his mood swing.

After throwing some clothes on, I joined him at the front door. An older man, probably in his sixties, stood talking to Havoc. His facial features reminded me of Nash and when he uttered the word daughter, the room spun.

His eyes met mine. “Carla,” he murmured.

Havoc’s arm snaked around my waist and he pulled me close. “Angel, you don’t have to do this. I can take care of it for you.” Love and protection wrapped itself around me as he spoke.

I gave him a smile to let him know I was okay. “Thank you,” I whispered, “but I need to do this.” My arm wrapped around him to let him know I wanted him to stay. Havoc’s support would get me through this; there was no way I was letting him go.

Turning back to my father, I said, “You shouldn’t have come. I don’t want to see you.” Ice coated my words as years of rejection and hurt slammed into my heart.

“I had to come,” he started before stumbling over his words. “I’m sick and I don’t know how much time I have left.”

Anger bubbled up and out of me. “You’re kidding, right? I’ve been here for over twenty years waiting for you. We had all the fucking time in the world!” I shook my head in a frantic motion. “You don’t get to come here now that you’re dying and tell me we don’t have much time.”

As my emotions engulfed me and I yelled at him, I couldn’t help but take in every inch of him.

My father.

The man who helped give me life.

The man I’d dreamt of since I was a little girl and whom I’d have given anything to know.

The man who should have taught me all the things Nash did and protected me in all the ways Nash had.

It killed me that I wanted to commit him to my memory. But the heart wants what it wants and she could be a hypocritical bitch at times.

Regret blazed from his eyes.
Green eyes like mine
. “You’ve gotta understand, your mother and I weren’t in a good place when I left. I wanted to come back to see you kids, but I couldn’t. I had to fix myself before I did that. The trouble was, I never fixed myself.”

My eyes widened. “That would have to be the worst excuse I’ve ever heard. And a load of absolute bullshit. No one’s perfect.” I took a deep breath and added, “No, wait, there
is
such a thing as a perfect father, he’s the father that
does
stick around. Because even in his imperfect ways, he’s doing the one thing a man who has a child should do—he raises that child up and is there for it every step of the way regardless of the doubts he has.” I clung to Havoc as I tried to catch my breath and silently willed my father to leave.

“Carla—” he began but Havoc cut him off.

“She’s made her point and it’s pretty fuckin’ clear where she stands,” he snapped.

“Just go,” I said. “I’m never changing my mind.”

My father stood on the doorstep silently for a few moments, almost as if he still held hope I’d take everything back and welcome him inside. In the end, though, he shoved a piece of paper at me and left.

His phone number.

I crumpled the paper up.

But being the bitch she was, my heart didn’t allow me to throw it away.

“
T
hese are exactly
what I was hoping for, Carla,” Jack said a few hours later as I showed him the dress designs I’d been working on. Havoc had gone home after dedicating more time to my boobs and I started work soon after. Thoughts of my father had consumed me and I’d been relieved when Jack arrived.

“Oh, thank God,” I said. “I mean, I love them but I had no idea if they would be what you’d love.”

“They’re fresh and I think they’re exactly what our market is looking for. Something new, you know?”

He’d asked me to design dresses that I’d love and thought the market wasn’t catering to. His praise gave me the confidence to show him some other designs I’d been playing around with.

“Can you give me a minute? I’ve got some more in my room that I want to show you.”

He nodded. “Sure, I’d love to see them.”

“I’ll be right back.”

It took me longer to retrieve the designs than I thought because Havoc had moved them the previous night and I couldn’t locate them. When I returned to the kitchen where Jack waited, I found him talking to Nash.

“Hey you,” I greeted Nash with a smile.

He gave me a chin lift. “Hey.” Jerking his thumb towards the designs I’d already shown Jack, he said, “These are good.”

Nash had always supported me in my studies and while he knew next to nothing about fashion, he’d watched as my skills improved over the years. He’d been there for me when frustration had set in while trying to master my talent. He knew what my work meant to me. We may have had countless arguments over the years, but he always had my back.

“Thank you,” I said as a smile spread across my face. “So you two have met?”

Jack nodded. “Yeah, Nash was just telling me how you used to put on fashion shows here and make your family sit through them.” He grinned as he recalled their conversation.

“Oh God, I’d forgotten about that.” My gaze met Nash’s and I found him watching me with that same thoughtful look he’d given me at the clubhouse recently.

Jack checked his watch. “I’ve got about five minutes until I have to leave for another meeting. Do you have those other designs?”

I handed them over. “These are a little different to what’s on the market at the moment so I’ll totally understand if you don’t love them or if you think they won’t sell—”

“Fuck, these are stunning,” he said, cutting me off. “The ones you showed me before were great, but these are just wow.” He looked up at me. “I’d love you to work on more of this line.”

My breathing slowed at his compliment and a giddy sensation spread through my body. Taking the designs back as he passed them to me, I said, “Okay, great, I’ll get onto that.”

He nodded and scooped his keys up off the table. “I’ll check in with you in a couple of days. Message me if you need anything in the meantime.”

After he left and the door had definitely closed behind him, I turned to Nash, threw my arms up in the air and squealed. “Holy fuck! He loves my shit!” This high would last for days.

Nash chuckled. “Yeah, I got that impression too.”

I took a moment and recovered my breathing. I then cocked my head to the side and asked, “How come you’re here?”

“I haven’t seen much of you over the last few weeks and I’ve got the morning off so I figured I’d drop in and see how you’re going.”

His voice held none of the anger or tension it had since he’d discovered I was seeing Havoc. The combination of that and my high caused my frustrations with him to subside. “I’ve missed you,” I said. It was the truth. Feeling disconnected from him had been hard, but my stubbornness had prevented me from reaching out.

He rubbed the back of his neck, a pained look settling on his face. “Fuck, this has all gotten out of hand. I was just trying to look out for you.”

I reached for his hand and squeezed it. “I know. And I just wanted to do something in my life without you going all dad on me. Between us we had no chance. We’re both so damn stubborn.”

“That’s the fuckin’ truth.”

I let his hand go. “So where are you at with Havoc?”

He blew out a long breath. “I’m reserving judgement for now, but I’m not gonna give you hell over it anymore.”

“What made you change your mind?”

“I saw the way you were at the clubhouse the other night and now here today. You’re different, more confident, and I think Havoc has helped with that. He’s not the guy I’d choose for you, but even I can see what being with him has done for you.”

A smile tugged at my lips. “How hard was that for you to admit?”

I’d expected him to scowl or to tell me where to go. Instead, he surprised me again. “Let’s just say I won’t be having this same conversation with Havoc.”

“What do you mean? You’re not going to talk to him at all?”

“Oh we’ll be talking. I’ll be making it clear what will happen if he fucks you over.”

“I love you, Nash. Thank you for looking out for me.” Where annoyance would have once sat, gratitude pushed its way in. I wasn’t exactly sure how that had happened, but somewhere along the way I’d changed. And thank God because it was a hell of a lot easier not to argue with him.

He nodded. “Always, babe. Anytime you need me, I’m here for you.”

I dropped my gaze for a moment, thinking about our father’s visit that morning. When I found his eyes again, I said, “Dad came to see me this morning.”

He clenched his jaw. “What did he say?”

“Just that he’s sick and can’t I understand why he never came back.”

“Did you let him in?”

“Fuck no. His excuses are weak.
He’s
weak. I’ve gotten this far in my life without him and I sure as hell don’t need him now.”

He pulled me close and wrapped me in a hug. His lips brushed across my forehead as he held me.

No more words were exchanged but we didn’t need them.

All I needed was his assurance he would always be there for me.

Love is a verb.

And although his actions were sometimes not what I would have preferred, Nash’s love for me couldn’t be denied.

“
P
ass me a beer
,” J said as I searched the fridge in the clubhouse for a drink.

“Summer’s coming,” I said as I handed him the beer. The heat had ratcheted up that morning and the air conditioning in the clubhouse struggled to keep us cool. I’d arrived about an hour ago and my shirt clung to me in places.

J took a swig of his drink. “Gonna be hot out there on your bike. Maybe you should think about sticking around town instead.”

My gaze met his. “I considered it, but I’m itching to get back on the road.”

“What does Carla think about you leaving?”

A week had passed since she and I discussed our plans to travel together and since then we’d made a loose plan for where we would head first.

“She’s coming with me.”

He raised his brows. “Nash know about this yet?”

I downed some beer. “I’m gonna catch up with him about it today. We haven’t spoken for awhile.”

“Good luck, brother. He’s a stubborn asshole sometimes.”

“Who’s a stubborn asshole?” Nash asked, joining us.

J chuckled. “You.” He drank some more beer before adding, “I’m outta here. Like I said, good luck.”

After he left, Nash eyed me. “Carla tell you I spoke with her last week?”

“Yeah. I thought I would have heard from you after that.”

“I’ve been busy with shit.” He reached into the fridge and retrieved a beer.

I decided now was as good a time as any to break our news to him. “I’m leaving town in a couple of weeks and Carla’s coming with me.”

He didn’t react the way I thought he would. There was no instant anger that Nash was known for, but rather an acceptance of sorts. “Figured that was on the cards. Doesn’t mean I love the idea but I’m done fighting you two. Carla’s a grown woman now and far as I can tell, she’s happy with you. So long as she stays happy, I won’t step in again. But mark my fuckin’ words, Havoc, the minute I discover you’ve done something that hurts her,
you’ll
be in a world of hurt.”

I nodded. I could respect that. “It’s not gonna happen. Carla means the fuckin’ world to me.”

I’d used the words he said to me once and the look of recognition on his face told me he remembered. “Good,” he muttered before taking a long swig of beer. After one last look at me, he left the room.

At the same time, Scott stuck his head in. “Footy’s on, brother. You gonna watch it?”

I lifted my chin at him. “Be there in a minute.”

“Bring more beer with you, yeah?”

He left me alone with my thoughts while I grabbed drinks from the fridge.

Who knew where my friendship with Nash would end up? Fuck, who knew where anything in life would end up? My life hadn’t panned out the way I once thought it would and every day seemed to alter my path lately. But the road I’d chosen to travel was one that gave me hope.

Being with Carla and building my Storm ties again gave me something that had been missing in my life since I’d walked away from it all.

Faith.

I’d never lost belief in my family, but I’d sure as hell lost faith in everyone else. Carla had broken down my walls and proved that a woman could want me for more than what I was worth. And that regardless of my financial status or my behaviour or my past, she would be there, right by my side giving me every piece of her heart.

I trusted that she’d never let me down or walk away when shit got real.

And that trust was all I needed to know that Carla was my future.

I
entered
Dad’s house later that afternoon to the sounds of him, Yvette and Carla laughing. The fact she spent time with my family made me more than happy. Carla’s eyes met mine with a smile when I found them sitting around the kitchen counter. “Who won the footy?”

Scooping her around the waist and pulling her close for a kiss, I said, “Who do you think?”

“Oh God, don’t tell me it was the Broncos?”

“Of course it was the Broncos. The Cowboys have lost it this year, babe.”

She smacked my chest. “Pfft, they’re gonna win. You’ll see.”

I grinned. This argument would never grow old so long as I was having it with her.

When I didn’t say a word but simply kept grinning, she pressed hard against my chest trying to escape my embrace. “Oh I see how this is gonna go, Mr I’m-So-Sure-Of-Myself. I’m gonna have to spend the next couple of months listening to you go on about how good your team is. But you can bite me. My team is gonna whoop your team’s ass.”

Tightening my hold on her, I bent to her ear. “I’ll happily bite you any time you want, darlin’.”

She smacked my chest again and I smirked as she said, “You better watch your words. There might be no biting in your near future.”

Fuck, this was what had been missing in my life for far too long.

I let her go. “We both know that’s never gonna happen.”

Yvette cut into our conversation. “Carla, it’s your turn.”

Eyeing the Monopoly board they sat around, I asked, “Who’s winning?”

“You’re not playing, Havoc,” Yvette muttered as she sent me a dirty look. “No one ever has a chance when you play.

Carla raised her brows. “Really?”

I moved to the fridge to grab some cold water. “Yeah, really.”

“Challenge accepted,” she threw out, a determined glint to her eyes.

Yvette groaned. “No, he can cook dinner while we finish up this game. You two can get your own game on later.”

Carla grinned, not taking her gaze off me. “It’s a date. You, me and Monopoly tonight.”

“I didn’t realise you had this competitive streak, angel,” I said as I pulled some steak from the freezer.

She rolled the dice to take her move. “I’ve had it from way back. But it’s gonna be so fun playing with you. Winner takes all, and I’m not talking money.”

Dad chuckled. “Gonna be some more creakin’ in that bedroom tonight, is there?”

“When is the bed
not
creaking, Al?” Carla shot straight back.

Dad’s chuckle turned into a full belly laugh. “That’s pretty spot on, little lady. I taught my son well.”

Yvette rolled her eyes. “God help me.”

Dad turned to Yvette. “I taught you well, too, Vettie. Never knew I’d raise a daughter to love women as much as I do, but I’m mighty proud of that achievement. And don’t think I never heard your bed creakin’ when you lived here. My hearing always was good.”

Yvette shook her head. “Jesus, Dad, is there no end to your dirty mouth?”

Carla laughed at Yvette and Dad as they had words. When she caught my gaze she pointed at me and then at herself while mouthing, “You, me, tonight.”

I nodded and closed the distance between us. “You’re on, darlin’, but be prepared because you’re going down.”

She smirked. “I think you’ve got that around the wrong way, romeo. It’ll be
you
going down.”

“Fuck, I love the way your mind works,” I said before brushing a kiss across her lips.

As I ended the kiss, she turned her head towards the television that was on behind us. “
Modern Family
!” she exclaimed.

“God fuckin’ help us,” I muttered under my breath. She loved that show and that woman on there—the one with the screeching voice I’d pay good money to shut up.

She whipped back around to glare at me.

Dad aimed the television remote at the TV and raised the volume. “There you go, sweetheart. Just tell Havoc to pop a painkiller and man the hell up.”

“Jesus fuck, do you hear every-fuckin’-thing?” I asked with a scowl at the old man.

Carla burst out laughing. “Thank you, Al.” She pointed at me and added, “There’s asprin in the cupboard.”

Yvette chimed in. “I’ve clearly missed something here, but I love this show, so everyone
shush
.”

I shook my head as they all shifted their attention to the television. But as much as I appeared to be bothered by it all, that was as far from the truth as it could be.

My family getting on with my woman was one of the best things in the world to watch.

“
I
’m taking the lead
.”

I scowled at Nash. “No, I am.”

He returned my scowl. “She’s my sister. I should be the one who gets to fuck this asshole up.”

“She’s my woman. I fuck anyone up who fucks with her.”

He blew out a long breath. “For fuck’s sake. You take the lead, but I’m getting a punch in.”

I didn’t wait for him to possibly change his mind. Stalking down the front path of Carla’s ex-teacher’s house, I clenched my fists. I’d been waiting a long time for this.

A couple of minutes after I knocked on his front door, the asshole yanked it open and barked out, “What?”

I placed my boot inside his house and pushed his door open as I stepped inside.

“What the fuck, man?” he yelled, but I shut him up with a fist to his stomach. When he doubled over in pain, yelling obscenities, Nash and I pushed our way in and slammed the door shut.

“We’ve heard that you like to bully female students into sleeping with you in exchange for passing them in a subject,” I said.

Fear blared from his eyes. “They sleep with me willingly, dude. I don’t rape them.”

My anger erupted and I fought to keep it in check. Gripping his shirt, I thundered, “That’s not what I’ve been told, asshole.”

Nash took hold of his hair and yanked his head back. “You wanna know what we do to people who do shit we don’t like?”

Sweat pooled on the guy’s forehead and he gulped for breath. “I won’t do it again. I swear!”

Nash yanked his head again, causing as much pain as he could. “I fuckin’ know you won’t do it again. Not after we’re finished with you.”

I shoved him hard against the wall and punched him again. When my fist connected with his cheek, satisfaction coursed through me. It was about time this guy got what he deserved.

“We’re gonna keep a close eye on you from now on. Whenever you leave your house, know that we’ll be watching. You won’t be able to take a shit without us knowing. You got that?” I smacked the side of his head.

He nodded with a desperation my violent side loved and I had to push that need down. I wanted nothing more than to cause him more pain,
a lot of fucking pain
, for what he’d done to Carla, but I had to control that urge. I took a few deep breaths, concentrating on them instead.

Nash punched him hard in the gut causing him to scream out in agony as he clutched his stomach. “If you ever force a woman to sleep with you again, this will be like a walk in the fuckin’ park.”

My chest tightened and my head pounded with the need to make him hurt as I watched Nash punch the guy.

It was all I could think about.

Red blinding light flashed through my mind and it threatened to consume me.

“You good?” Nash asked when he turned to face me.

I had to find a way to control the urges.

Carla.

I was there for Carla.

The red light receded.

My need for pain subsided.

I blew out a few quick breaths.

“I’m good,” I finally told Nash.

“Thank fuck. For a minute there, I thought we had another death on our hands.”

His words caused the teacher to panic. “Don’t kill me! I won’t do it again!”

Needing to remove myself from this guy’s presence, I walked towards the front door.

“Where you going?” Nash yelled after me.

“I’m done. If he fucks up again, I won’t hold back, but for now I’ve had enough. Do what you want with him,” I replied before heading outside.

I’d come close to losing it in there.

The only thing that had saved him had been Carla. She calmed me in a way no one else ever had. In that moment, I knew what I needed to do.

“
C
arla
!” I bellowed through the house when I arrived home forty minutes later. She was working from Dad’s house that day while he was at the hospital for a check up that Yvette took him to.

I searched high and low, but couldn’t find her. Pulling out my phone, I called her.

She answered on the third ring. “Hey, baby. What’s up?”

“Where are you?”

“At your house. Why?”

“Angel, I’m at home and you’re not here.”

She laughed and it sounded like one of her embarrassed laughs. “I’m out in your shed.”

“Why?”

“Just come find me. I’ll tell you then.”

I hung up and headed out to the shed. I’d set it up years ago so I could restore bikes out there. It was also an area where the boys could come over and kick back. I had a couch and a television and bar set up, but I hadn’t used it much since leaving town. Carla had cleaned it up when she stayed with Dad and me during our recovery time.

I found her sitting on the couch with designs spread out in front of her on the coffee table. She looked up as I entered. “Hey.”

“Are you designing out here?” I couldn’t understand why she’d choose to work in my shed. Especially in the warm weather when we had air conditioning inside.

She stood and came to me. Tugging gently on my shirt, she said, “Being out here makes me feel close to you and I find that makes my designs flow better. I know it sounds strange bu—”

I cut her off by placing my fingers against her lips.

It didn’t sound strange.

I got it completely.

Because she did the same for me.

She centred me and gave me purpose in life again.

“I love that,” I admitted.

Her face lit up. “Oh, thank God. I thought it was kinda silly.”

“Babe, whatever you feel isn’t silly and you never need to make excuses or hide shit from me. I love you for all that you are.”

“Thank you,” she said.

The way she looked at me with vulnerability shining in her eyes caused a rush of desire straight to my dick. I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder.

“Havoc! What are you doing?” she squealed.

I stalked into the garage part of the shed. The area that housed the very first bike I’d ever ridden.

When I arrived at the bike, I placed her on the ground. Cupping the back of her neck, I kissed her while my other hand moved to the hem of her short skirt. It didn’t take me long to find what I was looking for, and my dick grew harder as I slid my fingers through her wetness.