Heart Ache (Bound by a Touch Novels #1) (16 page)

“
Oh, I’ve said too much,” she gasped in mock surprise. “You really should find Nikolai for more answers.” Her gold eyes darkened. “Just remember, Gabrielle, a male never gives up his heartmate.
Never.
He will do anything to keep her. Even murder.”

And then she was gone.

Gabby ran from one end of the apartment to the other in search of the woman who had pulled a Criss Angel routine and disappeared before her very sane eyes. Her heart pounded. Her mind raced. Her stomach gurgled. And still there was no sense to be made of the last ten minutes.

She jerked on the doorknob. It didn’t open. She unlocked then relocked it. Shaking her head, she pinched herself. She must be dreaming. But she wasn’t that creative.

Vampire? Yeah, right.

Heartmates? Ha!

The whole thing was laughable.

So why wasn’t she laughing? Why was she shaking?

It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried to reach Nikolai. She’d searched high and low for him, had called every number she had for him. Obviously the man didn’t want to be found. And until seconds ago, Gabby had tried to convince herself it didn’t matter.

Karma really did exist, she decided, and it was personified as a blond-haired, golden-eyed bitch!

She’d lost everything in the moments it took to walk halfway down the aisle; Nikolai, Jayson, and her freakin’ mind!

Or had she?

She wanted answers. Now. And there was only one man who could give them to her. If she could find him.

She dialed the office. No answer.

Nikolai’s cell phone. Straight to voicemail.

His house. Four rings and then an answering service.

Her only other option was a number she hadn’t called before. She fumbled through some papers in her desk and found the one she was looking for.

Two rings and a gruff voice barked, “Who is this?”

“
Gustav?” she breathed into the phone.

“
Gabrielle?” His tone softened.

“
I’m, uh … I’m looking for Nikolai.” Her teeth closed over her thumbnail as she waited for a response.

“
Oh.” He sounded surprised. “I’ll call him—”

“
I’ve tried.”

“
Have you?”

“
All I get is voicemail.” She grimaced at how pathetically whiney she sounded.

“
Don’t worry. I’ll track him down.” She heard the smile in his voice. “You can meet him at his house in half an hour.”

“
Half an hour?” Skepticism bled into her question.

“
Trust me. I’ll make sure he’s there.”

Nikolai watched as the caller id on his cell phone registered Gabrielle’s number, then his house phone. His chest constricted, an invisible vice tightening around his unbeating heart, making it difficult to breathe.

His fingers twitched with the need to answer, to speak with her, to hear her soothing voice. But that would only bring more heartache. She’d made her choice, and they both had to live with the consequences.

He’d managed to hide, to pretend that life hadn’t taken a serious turn to the miserable, never-to-be-recovered-from worst. He couldn’t bring himself to even go to work. Vincent had been the saving grace, taking care of all the issues that couldn’t be handled from the confines of Nikolai’s pathetic hide-out.

A quick displacement of air caused Nikolai to look up from his perch at the kitchen table. Gustav grinned like he’d eaten the damned canary.

“
Gabby called.”

Nikolai concentrated on the grains in the wood of the table. “And?”

“
I answered.” Gustav sat down in a chair and lowered his face into Nikolai’s line of sight. “She’s looking for you, and I’m going to sit right here until she gets here. You can’t run anymore.”

His first instinct was to plow over Gustav and flee to a place where no one would ever find him. His second was to man up and face the music. Anxious energy simmered in his gut.

He sat across from his brother in uncomfortable silence for nearly twenty minutes until an echo of a beat skipped in his heart and he jumped as the doorbell rang. He glanced from the direction of the door to Gustav, who smiled.

“
Answer it, brother. Your destiny awaits.”

As Nikolai stood, second guessing the sanity of facing his heartmate, another displacement of air signified Gustav’s departure.

Nikolai rubbed at his chest, staring at the closed door. There was no doubt as to who was on the other side.

Thump-thump.

Thump-thump.

Gabrielle.

“
Dammit Nikolai, I know you’re home. Open the damned door!” Another ring of the doorbell was followed by incessant pounding. “Please Niko, we need to talk.”

He took a deep breath then blew it out on a hiss. Slowly. He rolled his head around on his shoulders, his neck cracking. After flipping the locks with his mind, he opened the door. What little breath left in his body was stolen by the sight before him.

Gabrielle was striking in her white blouse, opened at the throat giving a peak at her cleavage, and black slacks which hugged every curve without meaning to. Her skin was flawless, her face somber, her eyes … pissed. They flashed when he looked into them.

“
Please … come in,” he muttered, using his hand to invite her into his home.

She brushed past him, her stride irritated. “Do
not
act like nothing has happened between us. Do
not
pretend you didn’t walk out of my life after telling me that you love me.” A breath blew through her lips. “You can’t avoid me, Nikolai.” As her voice broke she turned her back to him.

Emotions of every kind consumed Nikolai; love, adoration … defensiveness. “I’m not avoiding you.”

“
Bullshit.” She whirled around, her hair spun then settled around her shoulders. “You haven’t been to the office. You don’t answer my calls. And don’t even
pretend
you don’t know when I’m calling.”

His eyes dropped to her ringless finger. “So, where’s Jayson?”

“
Shouldn’t I ask
you
that question?” Her blue eyes narrowed as perfect brows pulled together in accusation. “Been to Hawaii lately?”

An enormous lump formed in his throat. He swallowed. Again. He cleared his throat then said, “I assure you, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“
Really? So, you haven’t been to Hawaii in the last two weeks?”

His head felt heavy on his shoulders, knowing how pitiful his answer would sound. “I have.”

The blue of her eyes misted with tears. “Did you see Jayson?”

“
Yes.” He didn’t understand her line of questioning. “But—”

“
No, you don’t get to talk right now.” She stepped further away from him, until she tumbled into the overstuffed leather couch near the fireplace. She shifted and straightened, but didn’t stand again. Nikolai wondered if her knees would even allow her to.

“
Gabrielle.” Nikolai rushed over to her, kneeling at her feet. He took her hand in his and lifted it to his lips. The taste of her was overwhelming. It had been far too long. “My beloved, Gabrielle.” The words sounded like a psalm.

She pulled her hand from his, a tear slid down her cheek. Her heart rate skittered then pounded. “Don’t. Please don’t call me that. I can’t—”

She opened her mouth, closed it, and shook her head as if she had suddenly changed her mind. Her teeth audibly clamped together. Not only could he sense her emotions, he could smell them! Right now his home reeked of lemongrass and coconut, burnt rubber and wet dog.

She stood, toppling him over backwards. His ass hit the carpet and he hurried to stand. He crossed his arms over his chest and watched her pace. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Just when he worried she might wear a hole in the wood floor, she turned and strode right up to him. “Rumor has it you’re … different.”

“
Different? How?”

A sigh heaved from her and it seemed some of her fire left with it. Her shoulders sagged and she stared at her hot-as-hell heels. Nikolai placed a finger on her chin and lifted her face. Their eyes met and panic reflected in hers.

“
I need you to be honest with me,” she whispered.

“
I promise.” And he meant it.

“
Are you … a—” She paused and shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m gonna ask you this.”

“
Ask me anything,
bebelus
.”

Another long sigh. “Are you a vampire?”

All the air was sucked out of the room. Nikolai stared at her, blinked—and blinked.

“
Nikolai?” She stepped closer to him. “Please.”

His beating heart stopped for a moment before slamming around in his chest. He turned his back to her, sucked in one breath, then another and another. If he lived to be a thousand years old, he never would have expected
that
question.

“
Dammit.” Her hands curled around his arm, tugged to turn him, but he didn’t budge. She yanked harder. “Niko, if you care about me at all, you—”

“
Don’t,” he growled. His fists tightened, he whirled around and stared down at the small woman, who stood confidently inches from him. “I love you, Gabrielle Ryan.”

“
Because I am your … heartmate.”

“
How did you—”

“
It doesn’t matter how I know.” She stepped closer to him, her eyes flashing in challenge. “I know.”

“
Do you know what that means, Gabrielle? To be my heartmate?” He found himself snarling the words that should have been whispered in an intimate moment of communion.

“
I have my suspicions,” she growled back at him.

She shook her head, her eyes wide. Her heart thundered in her chest and he could hear the increased rate of blood flow. She straightened her shoulders and met the intensity of his gaze with an intensity all her own.

Emotions of every kind flowed through her. He could sense them, taste them as they radiated off her. Pure and utter irritation slammed into him, raising red flags and questions—lots of how’s, where’s, and why’s.

Her eyes bored into his, filled with a million unrelenting questions. Questions, Nikolai knew needed to be answered. Fear swamped him, threatened to drown him. He watched her suck her bottom lip between her teeth.

“
You are a vampire.” Not a question.

“
Yes.”

She took a step back as though his answer frightened her, but kept eye contact. “And I am your heartmate?”

“
Yes.”

“
Rumor has it, Nikolai, that a male never allows his heartmate to marry another. Is that true?”

“
Yes.”

Her hands wrung against each other. She shifted from foot to foot and looked away, expression pained.

“
Gabrielle, I must tell you a story and I hope that history will explain what I cannot.” Nikolai could hear the pain in his voice. When her eyes flicked to his it was obvious she’d heard it too.

“
I’m listening.”

“
My mother…” He paused to clear his throat when it cracked. He hated this story. Hated his father. “My father was a bastard.”

One auburn brow lifted and Gabrielle folded her arms. “I don’t see what your parentage has to do with anything.”

Nikolai felt his eyes narrow in a glare. “Don’t play naïve, Gabrielle. If you want the story, I’ll tell it to you.”

She gestured for him to continue.

“
My mother was engaged to a man she loved. The day before her wedding she went to the marketplace, shopping with her sisters.” His chest tightened. “She accidentally bumped into a man that afternoon. And in that moment everything changed for her—and for him. That night he came to her tent and took her. She was his heartmate. He took away her choice. He took away … everything she’d ever known. Everything she’d ever loved.”

Nikolai stood and began to pace, unable to keep the feelings of frustration and animosity and worry still a moment longer.

“
When she refused to be changed, he nearly drained her and waited until she was too weak to argue anymore. He ultimately took that choice away from her, too. She hated him for years. Even up until his death she flinched every time he touched her.” He plowed his fingers through his hair, remembering his father’s unadorned chest. “He was never given the gift of her tattoo.”

“
Tattoo?”

“
When a heartmate accepts her male as hers forever, her tattoo shows up on his chest. It’s an honor to wear a heartmate tattoo.”

Niko dropped to his knees in front of Gabby once again and rested his hands on the couch on either side of her, caging her in. “Don’t you see, Gabrielle? I didn’t want to take your choice away from you. I would rather spend eternity without you than even one day of you hating me.”

Her hand lifted, moved slightly toward his face, then she pulled it back and slid it under her thigh. He’d anticipated that touch. Craved it. And her retreat stung like a slap.