Heart of the Nebula (31 page)

“
James,” said Sara after a
few moments of silence. “Can I ask you something?”

“
Sure,” said James, running
over the names of the specialists on his roster one more time. If
he traded Jackson for Sterling, he’d probably have to send
Jackson’s wife and sister over as well. Sterling didn’t have any
immediate family, so that meant he could ask Captain McClaire for
one more—

“
James, are you
listening?”

He looked up from his terminal and saw that
she was staring at him. “Uh, yeah, Sara. What is it?”

She sighed and looked away. “I’m not sure
how to say this, but—”

“
But what?”

“
You’re planning to go into
cryo, right?”

James frowned. “Yeah, of course. Didn’t you
say the people would need me the most when we got to Chira?”

“
I did,” she said. “And I
plan to go into cryo, too, but…”

She bit her lip and looked straight at him,
as if reading him for a sign that it was safe to continue.

“
What is it?” James asked.
“Come on, Sara—you can tell me.”

She took a deep breath. “Well, I know it’s
silly, since we’ll both see each other when we wake up at the
rendezvous, but just in case something happens, I’d like to be on
the same ship as you.”

“
Why?” James asked, more
than a little taken aback.

“
Because I don’t want us to
be separated,” she said softly.

He looked into her eyes and realized that
this was a lot more than just a request for a personnel transfer.
His stomach flipped, and he suddenly didn’t know what to say.

“
I understand if you don’t
think it’s feasible,” she continued, looking away again. “You’ve
got a lot of things to take care of that are more important than a
personal request. But James—once we’re in the nebula, anything can
happen. Who knows if we’ll all make it safely? And if I wake up and
find you’re not there—”

“
Of course I can do it,
Sara,” James heard himself say. “I’d be happy to do it.”

Her eyes lit up. “You would?”

“
Definitely.”

She leaned over and gave him a hug. James
hugged her back, but he felt strangely distant, like a spectator in
his own body. His heart was racing, and his stomach was doing
flips, but his mind was strangely clear.

“
When all this is over,” he
said, “when we’ve arrived at Chira and we’ve started the new
Colony, do you have any plans?”

She looked at him and smiled. “That
depends.”

“
On what?”

“
On whether you think we
should make our plans together.”

His heart hammered so hard that it seemed
about to leap right out of his chest, but that didn’t matter right
now. All that mattered was that the most amazing girl he’d ever
known wanted to start a new life with him.

“
Any plan with you is a
plan I, uh…”

Words failed him. With a smirk, she pressed
a finger against his mouth, then closed her eyes and leaned
forward. Her lips touched his, and every muscle in his body turned
to water.

* * * * *

Sarah’s heart felt heavy as she made her way
to her father’s office. She was so happy to be on the same ship as
James, but now she had to face the other side of it, and that was
saying goodbye to her father.

It’s not such a big
deal,
she tried in vain to convince
herself.
It’s not like I wouldn’t have to
say goodbye to him anyways.
Either way,
once the cryotank closed shut on her, that would be the last she’d
ever see or hear from her father. So why did she feel so
guilty?

The door to the office hissed open,
revealing a lobby almost completely devoid of furnishings. A box
sat on the secretary’s desk with the last few of her workplace
belongings in it; a few half-forgotten mementos were tacked against
the wall, but that was all that showed that anyone had ever worked
here.

“
Hello?” Sara asked,
glancing around the eerily empty room. “Is anybody
here?”

She heard something in the direction of the
conference room, so she let herself in and walked back there. The
door was open, revealing the long, empty meeting table with all the
chairs neatly lined up along the side. Her father sat at the head,
a shot glass in one hand and a fine bottle of Aurigan whiskey in
the other.

“
Sara, my dear!” he called
out to her. “You’re just in time for the celebration. Please, come
in.”

He’s drunk,
she realized.
He never
gets drunk.

“
Dad?” she asked
tentatively from the doorway.

“
Yes, my dear?”

“
Are you… okay?”

“
I’ve never been better,”
he said, pouring himself another glass. “A great weight has been
lifted from my shoulders—lifted quite permanently. Come, sit
down.”

Sara walked slowly inside and sat down at
the far end of the table. Her father tossed his head back and
downed the whiskey in one go.

“
This upshift,” he said
drowsily, “I formally submitted my letter of resignation to the
General Assembly. It was accepted without objection, and no
successor was nominated.” He leaned back and waved his hand in the
air. “It appears I have the honor of being the last
patrician!”

A lump rose in Sara’s throat to see her
father in such a wreck. His whole life had been wrapped up in his
duties as patrician.

“
Oh, Daddy,” she cried.
“I’m so sorry.”

“
There is no reason to be
sorry, my dear,” said her father, pouring himself another glass.
“Instead, you should be happy to finally have your father back. No
more politics, no more scheming, no more secrets. It’s all behind
us now.”

Her stomach sank at his words.

“
You didn’t have to do this
for me.”

“
Oh, but I did, Sara. I
know how you feel about me. You and your mother both feel about me
the same way. Well, I may have lost her, but I’m not going to lose
you, Sara. I love you.”

Tears burned in Sara’s eyes. It was all she
could do to bite her lip and nod.

“
I saw on the rosters that
McCoy traded to get you on his ship,” her father continued. “I take
it you want to be with him when you wake up?”

So he knows.

“
Yes, Daddy. I came here as
soon as I could to tell you.”

Her father smiled. “Well, I see my last
grand plot was a success. Your mother would be happy to see you
now.”

Sara frowned. “What do you mean?”

“
You always did remind me
of your mother.” He took a sip of the whiskey and set down the
glass with a heavy hand. “Our relationship meant a lot more to her
than it ever did to me. I knew you would be just like
her.”

“
You—you knew about me and
James?”

“
Of course, dear. Do you
think that was just about politics? Whatever else I may be, I’m a
loving father who wants you to be happy.”

Sara didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry,
so she did both. As the tears streamed down her cheek, the weight
of guilt lifted like a heavy cloud.

“
Thank you, Daddy. I love
you, too.”

“
I only hope James turns
out to be a better man than I was,” her father muttered. “Stars
know you deserve much more.”

With that, Sara couldn’t help herself. She
stood up and rushed to her father’s side, throwing her arms around
him. The smell of whiskey was strong on his breath, but he held her
tenderly and patted her on the back.

“
I’m going to miss you,
Daddy,” she cried. “When we get to Chira, I’m not going to forget
you.”

“
That’s the best legacy I
could ask for.”

Sara buried her face against her father’s
chest and sobbed.

Chapter 15

The Good Hope Nebula loomed in the windows
of the observation deck like a blue silk sheet cast in front of the
milky starfield. James stared out with his hands clasped smartly
behind his back, pondering the uncertain future. In a matter of
days, they would all be bound for the heart of that vast,
unexplored cloud of gas and dust, never to be in contact with the
outside universe again. It was a grim trade-off—distance and
isolation for a chance at a new beginning—but in a universe ravaged
on all sides by wolves, it was the only sure protection that they
had.

As he watched, a series of flashes announced
the arrival of the Nabattan transport ships from jumpspace. In just
a few minutes, they would dock with the sublight colony ship that
would be their new home. The arrangements had already been made,
and all the logistical difficulties had been tackled. All that was
left was to wait.

As he stared out the window at the
approaching transports, Sara walked up to his side and slipped her
hand into his. “Are you ready?” she asked.

“
Are you?”

“
No,” she admitted, taking
a deep breath. “But I doubt I ever will be.”

“
Ah, Captain! There you
are!” Sterling said as he stepped onto the deck. James turned to
see his old copilot headed straight for them, an irrepressible grin
on his face.

“
What’s wrong?” James
asked.

“
Nothing at all,” said
Sterling, ambling up beside them. “I just thought you might want to
know that the—oh, looks like you can already see them from
here.”

Sara chuckled. “A little eager to get going,
Chief?”

“
Of course, Miss
Galbraith-Dickson. Aren’t you?”

“
It’s been difficult ever
since we left Karduna,” she answered. “But this place has always
been my home. I’m going to miss it.”

“
Is everything ready for
the transfer, Sterling?” James asked.

“
Yes, Captain. We’ve got
all the equipment and supplies clearly labeled and organized. Once
we’re on board those colony ships, it shouldn’t take more than a
dayshift or two to get the fabricators set up and ready to
manufacture everything we need. Just you wait and see, sir—in less
than a month, we’ll turn that ship into our home.”

“
I’m sure you will,” said
James. “You’ll make an outstanding chief engineer, Sterling. I
don’t doubt that at all.”

Sterling beamed. “Thanks, Captain. I won’t
disappoint you.”

Sara squeezed James’s hand and gave him a
brief tug, indicating that she wanted some time alone with him. He
squeezed back to acknowledge her.

“
Is there anything else you
need to see to, Sterling?”

“
Not really, sir.
Everything’s all set to—oh.” He nodded and took a step back.
“Right. I’ll, ah, see you two later then.”

He turned and headed for the elevator,
leaving James and Sara alone. She took a deep breath and leaned her
head on his shoulder, as if overcome with weariness. James put a
hand around her waist and held her close.

“
I’m ready to leave,” she
said softly, “but I’m not quite ready to say goodbye.”

He tried to think of something to console
her, but the words failed to come. Somehow, though, being there to
hold her was enough. The stars shone down on them with their cold,
distant light, but so long as they had each other, the darkness
would never swallow them.

* * * * *

“
Ah, Commander McCoy, it’s
a pleasure see you in person. I’ve heard so much about
you.”

From the moment the bald little round-headed
man opened his mouth, James knew that he didn’t like him. His beady
eyes and thick eyebrows made his weaselly, insincere smile all the
more aggravating.

“
Soner,” said James,
offering his hand. “You’re the commander of the Nabattan ramjet
fleet, am I right?”

“
Commander of the ramjet
fleet and system security, as well,” said Soner, tilting his head
back with an air of authority. “I am, you could say, the man
responsible for running this system.”

Then I take it you weren’t
elected democratically,
James nearly said
aloud, catching himself just in time.

Soner folded his arms and cocked his head,
the duplicitous smile never leaving his face.

“
I do believe we’ve met
before, Commander, though our first meeting was a brief one. When I
met with your patrician’s daughter at Gaia Nova, I saw you as I
escorted her to your ship. Do you remember?”

James frowned and thought
back to the gunfight at the conference, near the docking node for
the
Freedom Star.
He vaguely remembered a bald-headed man slinking into the
shadows.

“
That was you?”

“
It was, indeed.
Thankfully, the circumstances of our second meeting are much more
amenable than our first. It was truly regrettable how the
conference ended.”

“
It was,” James agreed,
“but it was still a noble effort.”

“
Yes, well, it ended as
most noble efforts do: in disaster. Fortunately, your patrician was
much more foresighted and pragmatic than the rest of you. It’s
truly refreshing to see that you’ve embraced his vision so
completely.”

James scowled. “How soon can you get us to
the colony ships?”

The door to the spaceport lounge hissed
open, and Sara stepped inside. She glanced from Soner to James,
frowning ever so slightly.