Heartache Falls (6 page)

Celeste took one look at Ali, then offered a sympathetic frown. “Alison? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, Celeste.” Tears swelled and burst free as Ali stepped into her friend’s waiting arms.

The story spilled out, everything from her missed manicures to the frozen tundra of her marriage bed. At some point during the telling, Celeste guided Ali into a chair at the kitchen table and set a cup of coffee, a piece of coffee cake, and a box of tissues in front of her.

Ali grabbed a tissue and blew her nose, then confessed, “I know you weren’t serious about the job, Celeste, but I told him you were. I made up a salary figure. I lied to him. I never lie! But I knew I had to leave there, and I couldn’t run away. I had to run
to
something, and Eternity Springs just seems like the place I need to be. Does that make any sense?”

Celeste clicked her tongue. “Now, Alison. I don’t condone lying, but I am happy to have you help me with the Bristlecone. I do need a manager, someone to
hire a staff and oversee the menus. Glenda Hawkins was kind enough to share her recipes with me, but I wouldn’t mind making a few changes. You can have the job for as long as you like, but I don’t want you to feel bad about leaving when it’s time for you to go home. You can stay in the carriage house apartment. It’s lovely. If, that is, you are certain about this?”

“I know I have to go. It’s the only thing I
am
certain about, Celeste.” She closed her eyes, rubbed them, and said, “The children. I have to call them. I told Mac I would.”

Frowning sadly, Celeste shook her head. “You poor dear. What will you tell them?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. How can I explain what’s happening when I don’t even understand it myself?” Ali glanced at the clock. It was only ten o’clock, and the morning already seemed like it’d been ten hours long. “I should call them now. Neither Cait nor Chase has class today until after noon. I don’t know what Stephen’s schedule is, though.”

“Do it. The task will weigh upon you until it’s done.”

“I know.” Ali picked up a fork and cut a bite of the coffee cake in front of her, but she didn’t eat it. Nor did she look at the phone. “I’m glad you’re here, Celeste. I don’t think I could do it alone.”

Celeste reached for her hand and gave it a quick, comforting squeeze. Ali’s knees felt a bit wobbly as she rose and lifted the phone handset from its cradle on the counter. She started with the boys first. Stephen answered his cell on the second ring. “Hello, Granddad,” he said before Ali said a word. “I was
going to call you later. My prof said you were right about that interstate commerce question.”

“Stephen, it’s Mom,” Ali interrupted.

“Mom?” Her son paused a moment, then asked, “You’re calling from Granddad’s house. Is he okay?”

“Yes. Your grandfather is fine. He’s on the golf course this morning. I … um … have other news.” Ali closed her eyes and reached deep inside herself for the right words. “I don’t quite know how to say it. I’m not sure how to start.”

“Mom? You’re scaring me.”

“No! Don’t be scared. You absolutely don’t have to be scared. It’s just that … well … your dad and I are experiencing a rough spot in our marriage right now, I’m afraid. I think it’s best that we spend some time apart. I’ll be living up in the mountains for a little while. I’ve been offered a job—can you believe it?”

She bit her lower lip as she waited for his reply. It was a long, torturous moment in coming. “I knew something was wrong,” he finally said.

Her eyes flew open, her gaze seeking Celeste’s as she asked, “You did?”

“Yeah. It was obvious at Christmas.” While she tried to process that piece of news, he added, “Are you okay, Mom? Do you want me to come to Colorado?”

This was her baby, her firstborn. He was a fine young man of good character with a huge, loving heart. A sensitive heart. It didn’t escape her notice that he avoided asking why she’d taken such drastic action. Stephen would expect the answer to be painful for them both, so he wouldn’t ask it. Instead, he asked in his own way if she needed him.

It would be so easy to lean on him now, but she wouldn’t do it. It wouldn’t be fair. It was important for the whole family that she stand on her own two feet through this mess.

“I appreciate the offer, but the last thing I want is for this situation to interrupt your schoolwork. I’m going to be okay, honey, although I’ll be honest and tell you that right now I’m a little shaky. I’m excited about the job, though.”

She spent a few moments telling him about the restaurant, and then he responded, “Well, I think you’ll be excellent at the job. You are a fantastic cook, and you certainly know how to manage a kitchen. You oversaw all those dinners for Dad’s firm and catered some of them yourself. This is perfect for you, Mom. So you’re going to get the place up and running, and once that is done, you’ll come home?”

Now it was Ali’s turn to pause at length. “I don’t know, Stephen. I just don’t know.”

“But it’s possible?”

She heard the unspoken question.
The problem isn’t so bad that it can’t be fixed?
“It’s certainly not impossible. I don’t know what else to say to you, Stephen, other than I love you and your father loves you and we’ll get through this. All of us.”

After saying good-bye, Ali let out a heavy sigh. “That went better than I thought.”

“Good,” Celeste said. “Maybe that’s a sign.”

Or maybe not
, Ali thought a few minutes later when she gave the same rough-spot-in-their-marriage-and-moving-to-the-mountains explanation to her son Chase. His first reaction was “You left Dad and got a job? Right. And I’m making an A in physics, too.”

She didn’t respond to that, and after a full ten seconds, he said, “Mom? You’re kidding, right?”

“No, Chase, I’m not.”

After another pause, he demanded, “What happened? What did he do? Did he cheat on you? Did he—”

“Chase! Stop!” Ali grimaced and rubbed her forehead as she attempted to reach past her middle child’s anger. He might look like Mac, but he certainly didn’t have his father’s temperament. Chase had always been the hothead of the bunch, the most independent, the most reckless and daring. He didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, but she never doubted the loyalty and love in its every hard, strong beat. “Your father is not cheating on me.”

He paused a beat, then said, “Ah, jeez. You’re having an affair? Mom, how could you? Dad’s a great guy. What is this, a middle-aged crazy sort of thing?”

“Michael Chase Timberlake! Would you please listen rather than make snap judgments? I realize that, being twenty-one years old, you think the entire world revolves around sex, and I ordinarily would never speak of such personal matters, but it’s not the problem in your parents’ marriage.”
It’s a symptom of the problem
.

“Then what
is
the problem, Mom? Why would you go and leave Dad if he’s not cheating on you? He’s not abusive. I know that. Is it his job? Are the hours too much?”

Again Ali closed her eyes. The kid had always been persistent, too. One of her nicknames for her middle child was “Terrier.” She should have anticipated this
reaction from him. “Chase, it would be nice if problems in life were simply black and white, but unfortunately, that’s not the way it is. Relationships are complicated, and complications in relationships are even more complicated. If they weren’t, I wouldn’t be on my way to the mountains today.”

When he finally responded, his voice was tight with pain. “This sucks, Mom.”

“I know, baby. I’m sorry.”

He let out a sigh, then asked, “Do you have a place to stay?”

“I’ll be at Angel’s Rest.”

“Well, that’s good. You have friends there to lean on. You and Mrs. Reese can take turns crying on each other’s shoulder because your little girls are off at college.”

Ali smiled sadly. “Yes, I guess we can do that.”

“Okay, then. Well, I’ve got to go. I need to study. Talk to you later.”

The sound of the dial tone echoed in her ears. “I love him dearly, but that child can make me crazier than just about anyone else on the planet.”

“You’ve told me previously that Chase has his father’s drive,” Celeste said. “He’s liable to set the world on fire. You just wait and see.”

“As long as he doesn’t do it literally. I’ll never forget a certain fireworks incident when he was seven.” Recalling the wild child he’d been made her shake her head in bittersweet memory. Parenting Chase had been a challenge from the day he was born. Actually, he’d been a trial since before he was born, considering that she’d gone into premature labor with him
and had spent six weeks confined to bed. Those years with three children under the age of five had been enormously difficult. But, oh, how she missed those days! Life had been full and exciting and brimming with laughter and love. “Time goes so fast, Celeste. How did I get from my twenties to my forties?”

“Oh, honey, just wait. One hundred is the hard one.” When Ali shot her a disbelieving look, she chuckled and added, “So I’m told.”

Ali’s mouth quirked in a faint smile, then her thoughts returned to the matter at hand. “Think I could wait to call Cait?”

“Only if you want her to hear the news from her brothers.”

Ali dialed her daughter’s number and heard it ring one time, then two, before it switched over to voice mail. Coward that she was, she couldn’t help but feel a measure of relief. Yet no sooner had she left a message for her daughter to call her grandfather’s house than the phone rang again.

“Mom? Sorry, I was on the other line. How is this for karma? I was talking to Daddy when Stephen called, then Chase called, and finally you called. Is that weird or what? We have our own Timberlake family psychic network. So, what’s up? Did you get my message?”

“What message?”

“Messages, actually. I left one at home and I’ve called your cell a couple of times.”

“Is there a problem?”

“No. Just wanted to chat, catch you up on my love life. I met a hottie at the library and he’s asked me to
the basketball game Thursday night. His name is Patrick Talley and he’s from New York. When I couldn’t get you, I called Daddy.”

“A new guy. That’s exciting.” Ali licked her lips. “What did you and your dad talk about?”

“Nothing important.”

Caitlin launched into a story about bicycles in trees and a tiff she’d had with her roommate. Ali could hardly listen. So the boys had called their sister. She’d bet they were calling their father now, too. The last thing Ali needed was for Chase to call again and Caitlin to click over before Ali could stop her.

“Cait,” Ali interrupted. “Listen to me. I have some hard news. Dad and I have …” She snapped her mouth shut against the word
separated. Think, Alison. Choose your words carefully
.

Warily, Caitlin responded, “What? Dad and you have what?”

Ali couldn’t use the same words she’d used to tell Stephen and Chase. She and Caitlin had a different relationship. A female relationship. It required a different kind of communication, and in many respects it made this particular conversation that much more difficult.

“Mom?”

“Baby, this is so hard. Dad and I really aren’t getting along these days, and it’s very confusing to us both, I think. He hasn’t done anything awful and neither have I, but it hurts more to be together than to be apart right now. So, I am going to move up into the mountains for a little while. By myself.” She told her about the job and how much she liked Celeste and
her other friends in Eternity Springs. “I feel peaceful there, Cait. I feel okay when I’m there.”

After that, she paused and waited for Caitlin’s reaction. Ali knew her daughter. Caitlin did enjoy drama, and under other circumstances Ali would expect her to launch into tears and wailing and demands. But with something so serious, so central to the fabric of her life, Caitlin’s thoughts and emotions would go deeper than drama. Ali’s baby girl would be afraid.

The silence of Caitlin’s response proved that Ali’s instincts had been spot-on. So she drew upon more than two decades of maternal experience and said, “It will be okay, Caitlin. I promise you that. We will still be a family, no matter what. We will love you and you will love us—that won’t change.”

“But … you and Dad. You don’t love each other anymore?”

“No, I do still love Dad.” Saying it, Ali knew it was true. “I love him very much. And sweetheart, I think that’s probably why I had to do this.”

“That makes no sense.”

As she spoke with her daughter the vague thoughts and feelings that had circled in her mind all day began to congeal. “I know what love is. I know what loving and being loved is. It’s wonderful, Caitlin. It fills me up and sets me free and brings me indescribable joy. I had that with your dad. We had it together. But somewhere along the way, we lost it.”

“So you’re what? Just giving up? Throwing it all away?”

“I hope not. I hope we will discover a way to find it again. I hope we will
want
to find it again. But
that’s something your dad and I need to figure out on our own. For some time now, Dad and I have been settling for less. I don’t want to settle.”

“But how can you possibly fix something if you’re living apart?”

“I’m not saying I have all the answers, Caitlin, because I don’t. But this is what my heart is telling me to do. I don’t know what I’ll find in Eternity Springs. I just know I need to go there.”

Seated across from her at the kitchen table, Celeste reached across and squeezed Ali’s arm in support. Ali smiled tremulously and continued, “I recognize that this is difficult for you and your brothers, and I feel terrible about that. But sweetie, like you are always quick to tell me, you’re an adult now. Your dad and I have raised three wonderful children who are smart and strong and make me so very, very proud. I know you want your parents to be together. I know you want nothing to change. But honey, things do change. Life happens. Children grow up and leave home. And sometimes families change.”

“This really stinks, Mom.”

“Yes, I know, baby. I’m sorry.”

After a long moment, Caitlin asked, “I wish I’d gone with you on one of your visits to Eternity Springs when you asked. Now it feels to me like you have a whole other life I don’t know anything about.”