Heartbreak Ranch (8 page)

He groaned because of me
. The groan was loud, feral, and erotic. Graysen would remember that sound and the way it vibrated against her lips, echoing into her mouth, for as long as she lived. She felt the blood course through her, hot and heavy, as her skin bloomed under his touch. His lips covered hers, softly at first, but then more roughly, both of his hands now cupping her face. He tasted her, no, devoured her with fervor, slipping his tongue between her lips and gently tugging the lower one with his teeth. He kissed her with an expertness that made his horsemanship seem amateur. Her legs buckled and instead of catching her, Colt came down with her, and soon they were both on their knees and in each other’s arms.

Graysen’s hands traveled through his tousled, dark hair and made their way down his neck, shoulders and rested on his chest. A restless hunger coiled within her. He felt hot, and solid, and powerful under her hands. Her tongue met his with equal ardor. They consumed each other, and nothing in her life had ever felt so right.

A small part of her trembled at what was happening. That part of her took over for one brief moment and stopped him from kissing her. Graysen gripped his face and agonizingly tore her mouth from his.

Colt forced his eyes open. He had one hand wrapped around her back while the other grasped her thigh, just underneath the hem of her jean shorts. She had only this moment before she would be completely consumed with her need for him, and then there would be no turning back.

She had to tear herself away from his embrace so she could think clearly. How she managed to, she didn’t know, but she was glad that one part of her mind still realized the intense desire she felt for him would only bring her anguish in the end if she let it continue. She was in agony after just one passionate kiss. She knew it would be torture to be his completely only for a brief time and then have to return to her life in Iowa.

Quickly, Graysen scooted back a few feet, still on the ground, running her hands through her hair and already missing his mouth. Both of them were breathing hard, but Colt didn’t move after she pulled away. He sat there, blinking at her like a set of Christmas lights. That kiss was a completely out-of-control wildfire.

Time froze as they stared at one another. Their heavy breathing filled the space between them and they struggled not to continue kissing. Graysen should have never met him today. She should have known it would be this intoxicating with him. Colt was dangerous and threatened to obliterate any sense of control she tried to cling to. Her eyes flashed to his and she swallowed hard.

“Colt ...” Her voice reflected the emotional hell she was going through. “I ... I can’t!” Her mind raced at a breakneck pace as she stood up quickly and ran out of the stall in the direction of the open barn doors. She had to get away. She couldn’t breathe or think. She was near the barn doors when he called out to her.

“Graysen, please.” His voice was soft like a whisper or perhaps a prayer. It was the first time Colt had called her by name. A wave of emotion washed over her as she turned to look at him. Colt’s eyes held a look of desperate need. Conviction pulsed in his voice. “I am going to make you mine before you leave. I am going to make love to you. Not just because I want you, but because if I don’t both of us will regret it for the rest of our lives.”

War broke out in Graysen’s soul as Colt’s words registered. Graysen’s heart was screaming,
let go and trust him
but her head was saying,
don’t you dare.
Her heart rejoiced and her head slammed shut from fear. She ran out of the barn and into darkness.

Sleep eluded him. A million thoughts raced through Colt’s head at a thousand miles an hour. He kicked off his covers and stretched long on top of the sheets, willing a cool blast of air from the open window.
His thudding heart and careening thoughts wouldn’t allow him to relax.
He got out of bed and wandered through the cabin, eventually finding himself on the deck. He sat on the steps in the pearlescent glow of the moon falling through the pines. He wanted to hold Graysen in his arms and feel her body pressed into his.

Colt wondered if he’d read her wrong.
What happened?
It was the perfect kiss until it ended. Graysen’s yes had morphed into a no before he knew what had happened. Licking his lips he could still taste her. He knew he didn’t misinterpret her desire. She had kissed him back, and he was holding onto that truth with both hands.

Memories of that kiss taunted him until a chilly blast of night air forced him back to reality. He padded back through the house and collapsed on his bed. His thoughts drifted back to his ride with Graysen today. It had been easier to control the direction his thoughts took before he had spent so much time with her, but her body danced in his mind now.

Her hands were small and delicate. Her fingers were slender when they brushed his by accident and yet strong and demanding when she grabbed at his hair during their kiss in the barn. Her breasts bounced enticingly when she walked. Envisioning them caused him to groan with frustration.

Graysen’s body rubbing against his as they rode together had Colt hanging onto his lust by a thin tether. When he touched her thigh, all he could think about was how easily his hands would grip them. He fantasized lifting them over his shoulders, getting the best possible angle so he could plunge into her deeply and fill her completely. Colt leaned heavily against his pillows. Graysen was just across the ranch in her cabin, all soft and warm in her bed, and he was laying here, his sheets tenting over his throbbing erection. Colt threw his head back, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.
Perfect. Just perfect.

***

The false migraine Graysen had used yesterday proved a helpful excuse this morning. She’d been holed up in the bedroom she shared with Harper since she fled Colt’s arms last night. Everyone could see she was a train wreck.

“Can I get you something honey? Do you need a cool cloth for your head or maybe some soup?” her mom asked in a loving, but concerned tone.

“I don’t need anything. I just want to lie here,” Graysen said, half-groaning, wedged between her pillow and the covers of the bed. Her bed was the only safe place where she knew she wouldn’t run into Colt.

Graysen didn’t even bother opening the curtain to look outside, as was her morning custom. While her family was out enjoying the ranch, Graysen was in the middle of a Miss Havisham moment, minus the tattered wedding gown. She tried to make herself think about anything else, anything but that kiss in the barn.

Graysen’s mom came back to the cabin to check on her during the morning. Her sister brought her some food from the lodge, but Graysen only picked at it. She didn’t have much of an appetite. She tried to distract herself by reading, knitting, and periodically sleeping. When sleep eluded her, she had all the usual impulses—find some ridiculous talk show on cable, update her Facebook status, or order up some Chinese takeout. Each one of her cravings was foiled by being on a guest ranch in Wyoming. There was probably no such thing as Bang Bang shrimp over at the lodge. There was nothing to do in the cabin but think about him.

She recognized the fear she felt. The fear that said Colt would be the kind of man she would be powerless to resist and who would hurt her in the end, even if he tried not to. She hung her head. She tried to convince herself that she could stay away from him. Her very careful, terribly sensible self knew that she should stay away from him. She would have to put her big girl panties on and deal with the situation. She couldn’t spend the rest of her vacation hiding.

Graysen had wallowed in bed long enough. She kicked the quilt off and leapt out of bed, deciding to take a shower. The scent of vanilla surrounded her as she asked herself some serious questions. Colt’s words from yesterday reverberated in her head. Graysen knew Colt felt the same way she did. She started to think he was right, and that frightened her. If she didn’t act on the electricity between them before leaving next week, there was a reasonable chance she would never forgive herself. Would it be worse to be with him only to have to leave him so quickly or would it be worse to leave after never getting to be with him at all? Good God, her life was starting to sound like a country song.

Once Graysen asked herself the question, she was stunned at how easily the answer came. Suddenly she didn’t just want to see him, she needed to see him.
Should I go to the lodge tonight? Will he be there? If I did see him, what would I say? What about my family?
They thought she had a migraine. What would they think if she showed up and hung around bright lights and loud music? They’d be watching her every move. Going to the lodge tonight as if nothing had happened yesterday was not the right choice. It was too crowded to talk to him there. It would be best if she talked with him privately. If she waited until tomorrow, she might be able to seek him out. Perhaps then she could just pull him aside ...

Yes, she would wait until tomorrow before confronting him. It was better if she gave it a couple of days; then she would act as though she was playing hard-to-get and not have to give him so much control of the situation. The more she thought of Colt, the more she ached to be in his arms. Tomorrow seemed like a lifetime away.

Graysen lay quietly on her bed and pondered her next move. Shortly, her family returned from their evening at the lodge. Everyone came in to check on her before getting ready for bed. Her mom’s sweet, tired voice was peppered with concern as she asked Graysen if she felt any better. Graysen told her that her migraine was all but gone, which seemed to reassure her mom. Her family needed to believe she was no longer sick. She needed to see Colt tomorrow.

Trying to drift off to sleep was impossible. Harper was still up, sitting on her own bed, brushing her hair and chatting away. “Harper, do you mind? I’m trying to get some rest,” Graysen said groggily. The quicker she forced herself into unconsciousness, the quicker tomorrow would come.

“Sorry Gray … I should seriously let you get some sleep. I’m dead tired too,” Harper apologized as she climbed under the quilt. “Oh my god … I almost forgot to tell you—I saw that hot guy tonight at the lodge.”

Graysen’s ears perked up, and suddenly she was hanging onto her sister’s every word. As far as she knew there was only one cowboy at this ranch Harper found handsome. “What hot guy?” Graysen asked her, trying to sound tired and slightly perturbed, as though she didn’t care.

“That sexy ranch hand we saw on the trail the other day. Colt, right? He came in while we were dancing. He was really pissed off.”

Graysen wondered what it was that had made him angry. “And? What’s the big deal?”

“He went up to the bar to get a drink, and some other guy came in and sat next to him. I didn’t watch the whole time. I was talking to Kylie. She’s my age, and we were making fun of all of the people attempting to line dance and then ...”

“Harper ... What does this have to do with Colt?” Sometimes Graysen wanted to strangle her sister.

“Oh right! When I looked back over, Colt had some guy by the collar and slammed him up against the bar. He looked as though he was going to knock the snot out of him. He would have hurt that other guy if the ranch owner hadn’t broken it up when he did. Colt stormed out of the lodge right after Mr. Edmiston came over.”

“Colt must have been pretty angry,” Graysen observed.

“You should have seen him! He looked as though he was a bull seeing red and ready to charge. It reminded me of how Carson was right after Jenna broke up with him.”

The memory of their brother’s bitter grief floated into Graysen’s mind. When Jenna broke off their engagement suddenly last summer break, Carson was overwrought. He was unapproachable for weeks on end. He was lashing out at everyone for just speaking to him. She wondered if Colt could be upset about how things fell apart in the barn last night.

Harper chatted a bit more before falling asleep. Graysen didn’t hear anything she said as she lay there, feeling as though she had been hit by a truck. Soon, she realized that she wasn’t going to be able to rest ... She needed to see Colt, she ached to be near him. When the room filled with Harper’s soft snores, Graysen thought up a plan.

It was dangerous, but she didn’t care. She looked at the travel clock on her nightstand. It was about 10:30. She didn’t know if the rest of her family were asleep yet or not. She didn’t even know if Colt would be at his cabin. Harper said he seemed enraged, maybe he went to drink the head and shoulders off a bottle somewhere else.

One thing Graysen knew was that she had to do something. She couldn’t lie in bed any longer, but it was difficult to quiet her churning nerves. It wasn’t her family she was worried about, it was facing Colt. They both felt the agony of yesterday. Graysen dealt with it by wallowing in bed all day in a self-imposed solitary confinement. Colt wrestled with it by channeling his inner John Wayne. She knew he must be going through the same hell she was, especially after the way he watched her run out of the stables yesterday. In the end, her desperate need to see him won out over her fear of what would happen when she had to leave the ranch.Harper’s breathing was heavy with sleep as Graysen tiptoed around the room, slipping a lilac sundress on. In the quiet of the empty living room, she gently brushed through her hair and then checked her appearance in the mirror
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