‘What’ll you do when he puts some sleazy move on you? Just think of his history. He’s bad news, girl.’
She took her hands off the belt and pushed him away from her instead. ‘Johnny, no, please stop,’ she said.
‘What is it? Did I do something wrong?’
Alex shook her head. He leaned in to kiss her again. She pulled back from him. ‘This is wrong. This can’t happen.’
‘Oh, Christ …’ Johnny sat up, put his head in his hands. He looked wretched. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take advantage.’
‘You didn’t. But—’
‘But you must know how I feel about you. I’ve tried, God knows, but you’re driving me crazy. Being so close to you …’ He turned to face her, his eyes dark. ‘I’m going in. I’ll see you in the morning.’ Johnny walked away and left her sitting on the rug on the lawn. Alex sat for a while, cursing softly to herself, then gathered up the rug and the spilt wine bottle and glasses and went inside. Johnny was nowhere to be found.
He must have gone up to bed
, thought Alex, and turned in herself, feeling miserable, lonely and stupid.
Chapter 40
Next morning when Alex came downstairs there was still no sign of Johnny. She sat on the terrace, brooding over her coffee, her black mood in sharp contrast to the brightness of the day.
After a while she heard a footfall behind her. She turned as Johnny came out through the French windows, mugs and
cafetière
in hand.
‘Johnny, I’m sorry.’
‘Me too. Let’s just forget it, yeah?’ He sat down and poured coffee for them both. Alex pushed the mug she had been nursing to one side and accepted the fresh brew gratefully. They sat in silence and while it felt a little awkward, Alex didn’t think it felt like the end of anything. As they finished their coffee, Johnny spoke.
‘Alex, I want to play you something,’ he said, pushing his hair out of his eyes. He looked unsure of himself. ‘Will you come and listen?’
She nodded, intrigued, and they went down into the cellars. Part of the extensive cellar area was used for wine and storage, but a substantial amount had been soundproofed and turned into a state of the art recording studio.
Johnny shifted a pile of tapes labelled ‘Heartbreaker —
Icarus
’ and offered Alex the seat they’d been on. He flicked switches and pressed buttons, and music began playing. ‘It’s something I’ve been working on,’ he said. ‘I finished it last night after … you know.’
Alex listened intently as the room was filled with soulful blues, passionate, powerful and plaintive, Johnny at his absolute best as a songwriter and musician.
‘Johnny, that’s beautiful.’ She was the first person he’d played it for and she was touched.
‘I’m glad you like it, because I wrote it for you,’ he said simply. ‘I thought if I played it to you, it would help to explain … you know, how I feel.’
Alex went to Johnny and put her arms around his neck. ‘Thank you,’ she said, reaching up to kiss him. He hesitated at first, then leaned into her, touching her hair, kissing her neck, allowed her to lead him out from the studio and upstairs to her room.
***
Johnny and Alex spent the rest of the day in bed. They wandered downstairs in the evening in search of dinner, ordering in Chinese food which they ate by candlelight, Joni Mitchell providing the soundtrack to their meal.
Later, they made love again, slowly and sensuously, taking time over each other in contrast to the sharp urgency of their earlier experiences. Alex felt completely at ease with Johnny, each seeming to know instinctively what the other wanted. If this turned out to be just a fling for him, she was sunk. She was already in too deep to walk away unscathed.
Work progressed over the next week, but even more slowly. Alex and Johnny couldn’t pass each other without touching, kissing, and that often turned into lovemaking. Alex moved her things into Johnny’s rooms, it seemed silly not to. Mrs H must have noticed, but didn’t comment. Alex supposed she had seen a lot of women move in with Johnny over the years. She was delighted to find that she didn’t care; all that mattered to her was that they were together now.
Chapter 41
Johnny was telling Alex more tales of Heartbreaker on tour. In September ’77 the band was touring the fourth album,
Serpent’s Tail
, in the States. Tom was spending most of his free time with Raven, a witchy little bird with black hair and green eyes who was heavily into the Tarot. The other girls didn’t like her much; her nickname was ‘Morticia’, but only behind her back, never to her face. It was rumoured she could hex those who displeased her. It was believed that she had put a love potion in Tom’s drink, that he was under her spell.
When Johnny told him what was being said, Tom had laughed. ‘No, mate,’ he chortled, ‘but I reckon she could suck a golf ball through a hosepipe. I find that a very desirable quality in a woman.’
Colin’s main squeeze bitched about Raven a lot. ‘Honestly,’ she exclaimed, ‘what kind of a name is Raven? I bet she’s called Doris or something really.’
Colin raised an eyebrow. ‘And it says “Sky” on your birth certificate, does it?’
Sky wrinkled her nose. ‘Actually, it does. My dad’s a bit of a dreamer. Mom went mad when he told her what he’d done. She wanted me to be Carla.’
Andy had taken up with Priscilla, a cute blonde girl he’d known for a few years by then. She was with him for the duration of the tour. He hated one-night stands, but found that female company helped him to cope with feeling homesick and lonely.
Paul was frequently nowhere to be found. He had started making separate arrangements for him and Harry when they toured. He never missed a rehearsal, studio session or show, but he spent a lot of his free time away from the others.
Johnny was keeping company with a statuesque, auburn-haired woman who called herself Cinnamon. He had thought they were okay together, that she cared something for him, but she gave him his first real taste of tabloid notoriety when she did a kiss and tell number on him that, to his immense relief, wasn’t picked up either nationally or internationally. The band thought it was hilarious, taking turns each to read out sections of purple prose until Johnny roared with laughter himself.
‘Listen to this,’ whooped Colin. ‘“Johnny always treated me like a lady. He was very romantic, always passing compliments and buying me presents. He’s a real generous guy.”’
‘Doesn’t sound much like you, you tight git.’ Tom grabbed the paper off Colin, scanned the text. ‘Oh, this is fucking priceless.’ He put on a silly, girlish voice while he read. ‘“Johnny Burns is the best lover I’ve ever had. He’s very considerate, very sensual. The first time we made love was so special. Low lights, soft music. I remember he burned jasmine incense. Johnny undressed me real slow. He kissed me all over until my whole body tingled. I was going crazy, I so wanted him.”’
Tom’s voice was drowned out by the peals of laughter from the others. ‘Is that how you remember it, Johnny?’ asked Andy, between giggles.
Johnny grinned, despite himself. ‘No, mate. As I recall, we did some speed, got our kit off and got stuck in. No finesse. Bloody good fun, though.’
‘You haven’t heard the fucking best bit yet.’ Tom got himself sufficiently under control to continue. ‘“Even so, when I saw him naked, I felt afraid. I’d never seen anyone that big before. As much as I wanted him, I wondered if I’d be able to take him.”’
The room went up. Tom was laughing so hard, he was holding his stomach, tears rolling down his cheeks, his heels drumming on the floor.
Colin slapped Johnny round the head. ‘Did you have a body double in for you, mate? ‘Cos that doesn’t sound much like your sorry excuse for a dick.’
‘If anybody was scared, it was me,’ choked Johnny. ‘You should see that woman naked; I thought she’d fucking break me.’
‘At least she didn’t say you were a crap shag,’ observed Paul dryly, when things had quietened down a bit. ‘The girls will all want to try you out now.’
Which turned out to be the case, starting with witchy little Raven. Johnny had to disagree with Tom on one point, though. He reckoned she could get a tennis ball through a hosepipe. No problem.
Chapter 42
Alex was worried about her sister, she seemed to have a permanent headache and she was always tired. She planned to make a flying visit home so she could see Isabel for herself and put her mind at rest. Johnny had suggested he go with her, but she felt it was too soon. She had told Isabel and Carol about the change in their relationship, but wanted to give them a chance to get used to the idea before they met him.
At midday on Saturday, as Alex was putting her overnight bag into her car, Colin Carson and Paul Scott pulled up alongside her in Colin’s Mercedes.
‘Hey, Alex,’ called Paul as they piled out of the car.
‘Hey, good to see you both,’ she said, smiling.
‘Where are you off to, then?’ Paul asked, as he hugged her.
‘Quick trip home. How about you guys?’ she asked as she was pecked on the cheek by Colin. ‘I didn’t know you were visiting this weekend.’
Paul grinned. ‘Neither does Johnny. The girls are on a shopping spree, so we escaped.’
‘After they’ve cleaned out Harrods, they’re going to see some musical thing tonight in the West End. We’re hoping we can stay here to get out of it,’ said Colin.
‘You don’t have to go just yet, do you?’ said Paul.
Alex shook her head. ‘No. Come on in, I’ll make some coffee.’ She shut the boot and they trooped through into the kitchen.
A little later, as they tucked into slices of Mrs Hughes’ homemade fruit cake, they were joined by Christabel, who had also decided to drop in for the weekend.
‘Oh, don’t go,’ she said, on hearing that Alex was about to leave. She put a fresh pot of coffee on the table and sat down next to her. ‘I’d love a bit of female company alongside this lot.’
‘Don’t they have phones where you live?’ teased Colin, and Alex laughed, glad to be joining in the fun.
‘Good point. And it’s not like I could actually do anything, even if I was there.’
‘If there’s any news, they can get in touch with you easily enough,’ said Paul.
‘And if it’s anything urgent, I’ll fly you there,’ said Johnny. ‘I can have a helicopter here in twenty minutes if needs be.’
Alex nodded. ‘All right then. I’ll give my sister a ring later.’
That evening, Johnny cooked a big pot of bolognese sauce and a mountain of pasta to feed everyone. After they’d eaten, they sat outside on the terrace with their drinks while Christabel skinned up. There had been storms the previous week, but the air had cleared and it was a beautiful evening. Alex reckoned there would be too much noise for the foxes to visit. She and Johnny hadn’t seen them since the previous Saturday.
Johnny had taken Christabel to one side shortly after she arrived and explained about him and Alex. Chrissie had been delighted. ‘I’m glad you’re together,’ she’d said, hugging Alex. ‘You’re good for him.’
Paul and Colin hadn’t taken long to realise they were an item.
‘It’s going a bit far, isn’t it?’ Paul had said to Johnny. ‘Getting off with Alex just so she’ll write nice things about you.’
‘Wouldn’t be the first time,’ laughed Colin.
’I dunno,’ Paul had chipped in, ‘you’d think with what Alex must know about him by now, she’d would have run a mile.’
For all that, there was an easy acceptance of the fact that they were together. Alex hoped it boded well for how the rest of her friends and family would eventually take the news.
Carol had been incredulous when Alex phoned her and told her.
‘What? Are you fucking mad?’ she’d said, exasperated. ‘Let me see if I’ve got this right. He sleazes on you, you see sense and bail out, then he plays you a song, a fucking song, Alex, like he hasn’t got a shitload of those at his disposal, says he wrote it for you, and so you shag him anyway. Un-fucking-believable. How many other people do you think he’s written that song for, eh? How many times do you think that crusty little move has paid off for him before now, honey? Because it sounds well practised to me.’
Alex shook her head to get the memory of that conversation out of it. She’d square things with Carol next time she was home. Paul passed her the joint and she inhaled deeply, held the smoke in her lungs.
‘The most stupid song lyrics I’ve ever heard,’ Colin was saying, ‘were written by the Bay City Rollers. What the fuck does all that shoo be doo stuff mean? And while we’re on the subject, what language does shang a lang make sense in?’
‘Got a TV show out of it,’ observed Paul.
‘Bunch of spanners. How come we never got a show on the telly?’ asked Colin.
Paul snorted. ‘How come we weren’t let loose in a studio full of over-excited teenagers, all legs and lip gloss, you mean?’
‘Shark bait.’
‘Fucking jailbait.’
Colin grinned. ‘Fish in a barrel.’ He looked over at Chrissie, squeezed her hand. ‘Of course, we’re all grown up and well-behaved these days, you know. Completely rehabilitated. Practically saints.’ She gave him a smile, let go of his hand when Alex passed her the joint.
‘What’s that fuck awful paean to the homeless Phil Collins does?’ Johnny winced. ‘Holy shit.’
Paul shook his head. ‘Should never have let him out from behind his kit. Weird how some people change.’ He thought for a moment. ‘What the hell happened to Rod Stewart back in the day?’
‘Lycra,’ said Colin. ‘Lycra happened. Been the downfall of many a good band, that has. Look what it did to the Stones.’
Christabel grinned. ‘Three words for you. Clapton.
Wonderful Tonight
.’ Paul groaned theatrically. Johnny put his head in his hands.
‘I’ve never trusted him since I heard that,’ said Johnny. ‘I see him playing guitar and he looks the same, and he sounds the same, but …’
‘At least he didn’t start wearing Lycra,’ said Colin.
Paul laughed, sought Alex’s eyes. ‘The Lighthouse Family. Can you believe a bunch of Smoggies wrote a song called
Lifted
? They should have had police sirens on the backing track.’