Heartless (25 page)

We were given a suite with a patio that looked out over a traditional Celtic knot garden next to a French potager garden. Down the slope, in the distance, the ocean gleamed sapphire blue.

The building was late 18
th
century and impeccably restored. I felt as if I’d walked into period movie set. The canopied bed was layered in white lines and sprinkled with rose petals. A bottle of champagne sat chilling in a silver bucket.

“For your birthday,” said Josh, when he saw my gaze rest on the table with the champagne, and a bouquet of roses.

“You went to all this trouble for me?”

“It’s not trouble, Heather. You’re totally worth spoiling.” He came up behind me and hugged me.

“I ordered a special dinner for tonight. I hope that’s okay.”

I saw through the open French doors, which were flanked by rippling chiffon-like curtains, a table already set for two.

“We can save the champagne until dinner, unless you want to open it now?”

I shook my head. I was not ready for champagne yet. My head was still swimming with all this beauty and elegance. Later, when I knew I’d be feeling super nervous, I was sure I’d need a drink. Or two or three.

I set my bag down on the floor. Josh picked it up and put it on one of two luggage racks by the door.

“Do you want to unpack?”

I didn’t have much to unpack but I might as well hang up my sundress so that some of the wrinkles might stretch out.

“Maybe I’ll put on shorts now.” I’d noticed there was a pool on the grounds, too. I was glad now that I thought to pack my bikini.

“Actually, you might want to keep your jeans on,” said Josh.

“But it’s so hot.”

“You know what’s big around here?”

I shook my head.

“Riding.”

“We’ve already ridden half the day.”

“Horseback riding.”

Uh oh. Not something I was familiar with at all.

“I’d kind of planned a trail ride for this afternoon.” He looked a little unsure now.

“You ride horses, too?”

He coughed lightly and smiled. “No. Honestly, I’ve never done it before. You?”

I laughed. “Never! Maybe it’s not such a good idea.”

Josh stepped forward and caught my hands in his. “I thought it might be fun to try something new together. They have their own stables here and everything. I got is as part of the reservation package. I wanted your birthday to be memorable.”

I slipped my arms around his waist. “Believe me. Everything I’m experiencing right now is
unforgettable
.”

I tilted my face up, looked in his eyes, and waited for him to kiss me.

“So you don’t want to go? You want me to cancel it?”

“Not if you don’t want to. You went to all this trouble to plan this. I’m willing to risk trying something new.”

First motorcycles, now horses, and a weekend away with my new boyfriend. Everything about my life lately involved risking something new. And Josh was such a planner, and he loved surprising me, so I did not want to rain on his parade, despite my trepidation.

“We’ll have a guide, and we won’t be gone more than a couple of hours. Still enough time to come back and have a swim before dinner.”

I felt both relieved and a bit disappointed that we weren’t going to fall into that bed of rose petals right away.

“I’ve agreed to go. Will you kiss me now?” My head was still tilted, waiting, and my neck was starting to get sore.

He smiled down at me, his eyes brightening as he caught on to my desire. Our kiss was deep and delicious. I had decided before coming on this trip that I’d go along with anything Josh proposed tonight. I think he sensed that. And so now he had the power to draw things out, to make me wait, to enforce the slowness I had insisted on earlier and had only recently thrown out. Once I’d made a decision there was no turning back. It had been like that with Ethan. Once we knew we were going to do it, I was anxious to get the deed done. Of course, it was much more romantic with Josh. There was so much more to savor and anticipate. I knew he could provide me with exquisite pleasure, and I looked forward to that sweet satisfaction, but tonight would be so much more. Tonight we would make love and for the first time experience our two bodies as one. I shivered at the thought as Josh’s tongue probed deeper. He grew hard beneath his jeans. I got all hot and bothered too. I wanted to forget about horseback riding and swimming and champagne and dinner. The only appetite I had was for him, all I wanted to ride was his body, and all I wanted to swim in was an ocean of his kisses, and then wash up on the shore of his muscled skin…

Josh pulled away. My lips seemed to suction off him. My cheeks were flushed and I was breathing shallowly. He graced me with a sexy, teasing smile and said,

“Come on. Time to saddle up.”

Damn he could light my fire. Clearly he was going to keep me smoldering until he was good and ready to fan my flames.

I mustered a nonchalant smile. What was that old saying?… 'Don’t let them see you sweat'. Something to add to my 'fake it til you make it' affirmation.

“Sure,” I said. “Let’s go.”

I pulled away from him and stuffed my hands in my pockets—while voluntary for me, it would be a requirement for him. As he realized this, I threw him a sexy, teasing smile of my own. He coughed, adjusting the bulk in his jeans.

Bud, the trail guide, led us through a cool forest next to a stream. It was actually quite pleasant, and I was surprised how much I liked the feeling of being on a horse. Josh, however, seemed frustrated that he couldn’t control his horse the way he could control his Triumph. But I liked the feeling of a living thing beneath me. While a powerful machine was exhilarating, too, I felt part of something older, more historical and necessary, atop a horse. These creatures had been domesticated for transportation, and motorcycles were kind of like the machine-equivalent to a horse. And though horses could be tamed and trained, they were alive and self-directed in their own right. A motorcycle sat in stasis, almost dead, until a person came along and turned it on, but a horse lived and breathed, ate and pooped, socialized and, in all likelihood, dreamed. I thought I might like to do more horseback riding in the future.

This one experience had been enough for Josh, though. “I kept wanting to shift gears,” he said when we got back to our suite.

I laughed. “I guess when you get good at riding, you use the reins for that.”

“Bah, that’s not something I want to get good at. My next horse will be a Harley.”

“I liked it though. Thanks for setting it up. I may have found myself a new hobby.”

“Really?” He seemed happy to have introduced me to something new that I liked despite his own discomfort.

“Is your butt sore?” he said.

“A little, and my inner thighs.”

He glanced down at my jeans, which I was now dying to take off.

“Maybe I could massage you later?” he said suggestively.

“Oh, yes,” I said. “I insist on it. Every inch please.”

I glided past him as he swallowed deeply. I grabbed my shorts and bikini from my open bag and headed to the luxurious ensuite. I was not yet prepared to get undressed in front of Josh.

The bathroom, with its tumbled marble, brushed chrome fixtures, and deep soaker tub was a dream. I rinsed some of the dust and sweat from my skin with one of the fluffy face towels. The pool would take care of the rest. A bubbly soak in that tub might be a required precursor to that massage I just insisted on.

As I slipped the cloth between my legs, it was not just sweat I was wiping away. I had been damp and slippery all day. My body seemed to anticipate my plans and couldn’t help readying me. Didn’t matter that I said, later, later. Certain parts of me were crying out, now, now. A refreshing dip in the ranch pool would be very welcome indeed.

I tucked my used facecloth in the laundry basket under the sink and left the bathroom wearing my bikini top, which was coral colored, and white shorts. You could see my bottoms through the thin white cotton and I noticed that’s exactly where Josh’s eyes went. He was in his trunks now too, and my eyes couldn’t help but rove over his hard chest and abs. Yum.

I noticed that his bag was zipped up again. I assumed he had more birthday surprises in store for me. Maybe he was thinking about those surprises, because he looked a tad preoccupied.

“What’s for dinner?” I asked.

He lifted his gaze to my eyes. “I requested seafood. They said the chef would come up with something.”

“Including birthday cake?”

“Some kind of dessert. I told them to surprise us.”

Josh seemed to like surprising me, which should have tipped me off that he also liked surprises. The words, 'give what you want to receive', floated through my brain. When I realized there was something like that in the Bible, I tried to push the saying out of my thoughts. I had purposefully tried to un-memorize everything I’d previously learned from the Bible. But I had to admit that some phrases made so much damned sense. I sighed. I couldn’t hate everything about religion just because I’d had the misfortune to have been taught by a bad interpreter. I realized that heartfelt wisdom, no matter where it came from, did not need to be discounted or rejected. Hadn’t those wise words just taught me something significant about Josh? I decided to come up with a good surprise for him one day.

Josh

Heather’s so damned hot in her bikini. I don’t know if it’s pink or orange but it makes her skin look all soft and glow-y. She lays herself out on a towel at the edge of the pool. I jump in the cool water fast. If I stare at her for too long my swim trunks will fail to hide what’s meant to be hidden. It was hard to drag Heather horseback riding when she was practically begging me to take her as soon as we arrived. But I had to draw things out. I want this to be a perfect night. Even though it might not be an easy one. I put certain thoughts out of my mind and swim a few laps.

We have a sweet night ahead of us. Honestly, I can barely wait, but I know if I do wait, and take it slow, I’ll earn her trust, and boy do I need that. Until last week I didn’t know how much. She has a secret she needs to tell me but she doesn’t want to. I need to know. Because I’ve got a secret, too. But one sweet night isn’t all I want. I want all of Heather’s nights, and her days too. But we can’t keep secrets from each other and have a love like the love I want, and believe is possible, with her. More than ever I’m convinced Fate brought us together. But will she see it that way? That’s why I need tonight to be perfect, and why I need her to
really
want me, to want me so much she put the past, its secrets and its pains, behind us for good.

I stare at her from across the pool. She’s turning from her stomach onto her back. Her tits are orangey-pink mounds. And while I’m totally turned on by her gorgeous body, with those perfect tits with their tiny pink nipples, it’s what’s under them, beneath her skin, deep inside her, that concerns me most right now. It’s Heather’s heart that’s on my mind. Is it big enough, strong enough, to let me in?

I back stroke to the other end of the pool but before I get there, the water explodes around me and I’m scrambling to rise above the waves. Shit, she cannonballed me! I did not take her for a cannonballer. She shoots out of the water and flings her hair back, sending water into my nostrils and eyes for the second time.

“Bet you didn’t see that coming.” She’s laughing at me, her eyes dancing, the water sparkling. She’s like a water nymph, an unbearably sexy one.

I dive under the water. Looking up through the rippling surface I see her head turn this way and that. I kick, dolphin-like, in her direction and she tries to swim away. I grab her legs and pull her under. She thrashes. I hook my thumb under the edge of her bikini bottom. She stills for a moment and then she starts twisting and turning and grabbing for my hair. I have to come up for air. I’m gasping at the surface, swallowing deep gulps of blue sky.

She shrieking and laughing. “What are you? Twelve years old?!”

I snort-laugh as I push my hair back off my forehead. Man, it feels good to be in this water, especially with Heather. I try to move closer but she backs away, her legs scissoring underwater like a frog. “Stay away!” she screams. “My suit stays
on
, or… Or
else
!