There were times when she felt so confused she wanted to scream out her frustration. Karic had raped her, body and soul, but she still felt so drawn to him.
He was a monster within a man's body, Liane repeatedly reminded herself, a savage beast awaiting the next opportunity to show himself. Yet why were the noctes so long and lonely without him? Sometimes only her determined resolve to escape kept her from weeping her heart out.
After much surreptitious study, Liane had found a minor flaw in the security of the valley. At dusk the guards changed. The outpost at her end of the valley was the first to be emptied and the last to be refilled with fresh reinforcements. With any luck, she'd have a half hora to slip past that post before the new guard arrived. She began to hide extra food. On the morrow, Liane decided, a safe twelve sols from the Mating Festival, she would make her escape.
Aside from the young males, Liane had few visitors that sol. Kalina was one of them. Filled with uneasiness by the presence of a female who still regarded her as a rival for Karic, Liane lay down the spoon she was using to stir an herbal potion for old Agna and stood up.
"What do you think of my two brothers, Arlen and Cardow?" Kalina bluntly inquired, getting right to the point.
Liane's memory quickly flitted over the myriad of faces she'd met in the past eight sols. Glancing at Kalina's distinctive red tresses, she recalled two young males with similar hair coloring. They had said they were brothers.
She wrinkled her brow in concentration. "I remember them, but was Arlen the oldest or was it Cardow?"
"Cardow," Kalina smilingly supplied. "Did either of them suit your fancy? They are both quite taken with you."
Liane's mind raced, grasping for some tactful way out of an increasingly uncomfortable situation. "I found them both attractive. They seemed kind."
"Either would gladly take you as mate. Are you considering them?"
"Perhaps."
Kalina's gaze narrowed. "Karic is mine, you know. Since childhood, we have been betrothed as life mates."
A sensation, strangely like that of anger, began to roil in Liane's belly. But why was she angry? She didn't want Karic. Why should she care with whom he mated? She quashed the unsettling feeling.
"I know, Kalina." Liane forced a stiff smile. "I hope you'll be happy."
The Cat Woman smugly nodded. "Oh, we will. Have no doubt about that. I know how to please Karic. We've been lovers for several cycles now."
"How wonderful for you."
Kalina frowned at the heavy sarcasm. "I just wanted you to know. The Mating Festival draws near. It could be very dangerous for any femina who attempted to choose him."
I won't even be there to challenge your claim, Liane silently replied to Kalina's departing back. In twelve sols I'll be far away from this lair, headed for a life of my own where neither Necator nor Karic can ever find me. With a sigh, Liane returned to the concoction she was making for the old healer.
"Son, it's time we talked. I can't bear the animosity between us a moment longer."
Karic glanced up from the ancient book he'd been trying to read. He couldn't seem to concentrate on anything anymore. He shoved the volume aside on the table and subjected his father to a cool, appraising look.
"There's no animosity. You are Lord. Even I must obey. You once said I might have to choose between our people and Liane. Well, I chose to obey our laws; I chose our people. I hope you're proud, for I've been the dutiful son and heir."
Morigan sank down in the chair opposite him. "No one said it was easy being a ruler. Hard decisions must be made, decisions that must benefit the majority over the individual. I tried to instill that knowledge in you all the cycles you were growing. Did I fail so miserably?"
Karic's gaze lowered to his clenched hands. "No, Father, you didn't fail. Our people must come first. But I can't trust you anymore."
A sad, bitter smile played upon his lips. "I can never confide in you again for fear you might use the information against me."
Morigan leaned forward, an anguished look on his face. "Karic, you know I love you and only have your best interests at heart."
"There is nothing more important than Liane!" his son rasped. "I love her, but . . ." He sighed. "It doesn't matter. It's over, and perhaps for the better. I only pray she finds a male she can come to love. In time, I think I could find peace in that." "Yes," his father agreed, "it would ease the pain for all of us. I am trying, you know, by sending the young males to meet her."
Karic momentarily stiffened, then forced himself to relax. "They are treating her with respect?"
"You know they are."
"Where is she?"
"Living with old Agna."
A grim smile twisted Karic's lips. "Is she faring well?"
"She seems so. Agna is teaching her some of her healing secrets. Liane shows a talent for it."
Karic leaned back in his chair and exhaled a deep breath. "Yes, she would. Perhaps it'll ease her way here. We need a healer, and when old Agna passes . . ."
Morigan nodded. "Those were my thoughts, too."
He hesitated, as if considering his next words. "You know, Karic, all may not be lost. Perhaps this time apart might work to your advantage. Liane will have ample opportunity to calmly think things through and perhaps even realize the extent of her feelings, as she meets and compares the other males to you."
"That's a wild dream, Father. The odds are greater she'll find a male who attracts her Fancy."
"Nonetheless, I planted the idea in her head. I truly believe she feels something for you, but so much has happened to come between you, I think she's still confused and frightened. Give her time, Karic."
Karic's expression hardened. "I'd have given her all the time she needed, Father, if I had been given the opportunity to do so."
A flush darkened Morigan's face. "But I inter- fered, is that what you're saying? No, Karic. In the end, it changed nothing. After you left the Council chambers, I was the only Elder who didn't agree that a life mating between you and Liane was impossible."
"And why was that?"
"Gerlic was adamant that you be required to honor your betrothal to Kalina. The rest of the Council was mainly concerned about the dilution of the bloodlines. They were only willing to postpone your life mating with Kalina for a few cycles to allow you time with Liane."
"That was generous of them," Karic muttered. "How do you feel about their decision?"
Morigan smiled. "About the dilution of our blood or about Kalina? Kalina's a lovely femina, if a bit calculating. She will bear fine heirs. But the choice is still yours for a time. And about the dilution of our blood? Well, we may never regain a strain of pure Cat bloodlines again. Even if we did, it would take hundreds of cycles. We've been manipulative enough with our breeding laws. I think it's an impossible task."
Karic laughed. "How ironic that the Council would permit Liane to choose me at the Mating Festival, yet not allow us to life mate. A child could come as easily from a temporary mating as from a permanent one."
"Yes," his father agreed, "but only an heir to the throne comes from a life mating. A fine point, but an important one."
"I'd take her anyway I could get her, cycle after cycle, even if the Council always deemed it a temporary mating," Karic rasped.
He shot his father a mocking look. "But then that, too, would be inappropriate conduct for an heir to the throne. You'd have to find some way to circumvent me, wouldn't you.
Morigan considered his son. ''Eventually, yes, but I'd not deny you a time with her. And who knows? It might be long enough to convince the Council to favorably reconsider the life mating. I would assist you with that in every way I could."
A flicker of hope flared in Karic's eyes. "Would you, Father? I'd like to be able to trust you in this."
"You know I would. My only concern has been Liane's refusal to breed with you. If she gave you children, you would receive my full approval. I would then use all my power to convince the Council to favorably reconsider your request."
Morigan rose and walked over to the side table that held a flask of uva wine and cups. "Let's drink to the future and the hope it brings."
Karic watched his father pour out two cups, then return to hand him one. Yes, he thought, let's drink to the future and its hope of eventual happiness. But the future will soon be upon us in a Mating Festival but twelve sols away. I only pray there's still enough time.
Liane handed the baby back to its mother and glanced up at the sun as it edged behind the mountains. Only a few horas more and she'd be on her way. Following Agna's instructions, she carefully explained the care of the child's infected foot to its mother, then handed her a small packet of healing powder which, when sprinkled into an inflamed wound, worked miracles. She'd regret not staying long enough to learn how to prepare it.
With a sigh, Liane walked over to dish up the supper meal, while Agna finished with another patient. The old woman soon joined her, easing her arthritic limbs down onto a nearby stool. They ate in silence, then afterwards shared a cup of herbal tea.
"You've a talent for the healing," Agna finally said. "My time is short, but I'd teach you all I know. The lair will need a healer when I pass."
Guilt surged through Liane at the deception she must live, but even the satisfactions of a life of healing couldn't ease the certainty of forced mating. She glanced up from her cup and managed a smile.
"I'm grateful for all you've taught me, Agna, as well as for your kindness in allowing me to stay with you."
"You've had a difficult transition to our ways," the old woman kindly said. "Has meeting the young males helped your decision any? Have you found one that attracts you?"
"No." Liane sighed. "They're all quite kind and handsome, mind you," she hastened to add, "but there's not enough time to get to know them or allow an affection to develop." She shuddered. ''And the thought of mating with a virtual stranger . . ."
"I can give you a potion for that first nocte, one that would make your mate seem like one you loved. Would you like that, child?"
A look of such unutterable anguish passed across Liane's face that Agna sucked in her breath. She laid a hand on Liane's arm.
"What is it, child? Have you a pain somewhere? Tell me, and I will heal it."
"There is no potion for what I suffer, Agna, no cure except time." She forced a bright smile onto her face. "It doesn't matter. I will be fine."
Sharp old eyes scrutinized her. "It's the young lord, isn't it? His memory pains you still." "It doesn't matter," Liane said in a strangled whisper, her head dipping like some wilted flower on its stem. "It's over. I must learn to live with it."
"Must you? Why not talk to him?"
Agna hobbled over to the fire to refill her cup of tea, then returned to sit beside Liane. "Listen to the words of an old woman who has lived a full and satisfying life. I had a mate who I loved until the sol he died, over twenty cycles ago. He fathered our four children, three of whom died in the massacre. Ours was a passionate, tempestuous mating."
She smiled softly. "Ah, the mating. It was hot and wild and oh, so loving. Not that we didn't have our battles. Yet we loved each other enough to work through our differences. And I tell you again, child. Talk to the young lord. There is still time to work things out."
"No!" Liane's head jerked up, a fierce determination blazing in her eyes. "He has betrayed me. It's far too late to work things out."
"When you love, it's never too late." Agna stiffly rose and relieved Liane of her empty cup. "Remember that, child."
Liane watched the old woman totter away, puzzled at her words. Agna's tale had touched her tender heart, but Liane knew she didn't love Karic. She'd be mad to love a man who'd treated her as Karic had. Granted, she had once thought she loved him, but that was overdead. It was as dead as her Sententian powers, as mutilated as her maidenhood. No, she didn't love Karic.
Yet why did the thought of leaving the valley without saying good-bye to him cause such pain? Why should it matter that she'd never, ever see him again? He had betrayed her, lied to her, used her. She must always remember that in these passing moments of weakness and stir her anger. It would give her strength for what lay ahead.
Liane watched the sun set behind the mountains in a brilliant display of crimson and gold. Then, with a weary sigh, she left Agna's tiny lair and walked into the trees where she'd hidden her supplies. It was time to leave.
It was difficult traveling through the mountains, even in the light of the full moons. She had changed into the tunic, breeches and boots she'd worn on her initial journey to the lair, but even dressed in those unencumbering clothes, Liane found the frequent climbing and sliding down steep inclines difficult. Soon she was dirty, her clothing torn in several places, her hands sore and abraded. There was no time, though, to worry over such things. Speed was of the essence.
She tried, as best she could, to travel north through the remaining mountains. Her initial destination was the large mining camp of Fodina, nestled in the foothills. There she hoped to find work for a time, long enough to afford to restock her supplies.