Heat it Up: Off the Ice - Book One (2 page)

Even if it means my leg aches by the end of the day.

Nik pulls the sauna door open and heat instantly blasts us. I almost sigh in relief. Shortly after arriving in Finland for the summer, I discovered sauna heat helps with the pain in my leg after a day of coaching. Nik’s apartment building has two saunas in it, but you can only use them once a week, on your assigned days.

We step into the sauna, Nik still laughing. A blond in a brown uniform turns around, her eyes wide. Before I can say anything, she blasts water at my good leg, almost hitting my package.

“Fuck.” I jump back as Nik bursts out laughing. Ass.

The girl shifts the nozzle so it blasts water into the corner, and frantically tries turning the water off. Not once does her gaze shift in our direction. I repeat Newton’s laws of motion in my head to distract where my thoughts are headed. The last thing she needs to see once she does look in our direction is me getting a hard-on. Unfortunately, I have no control over what goes on with Nik. Nor do I have any interest in checking.

She adjusts the nozzle, switching the water pressure from a blast to a spray. Nik says something in Finnish. She replies, but even I can tell Finnish isn’t her native language. I have no idea what she said, but the accent is all wrong for her to be a Finn.

I take the nozzle from her. “Newton’s third law of motion states that an object in motion will stay in motion if nothing acts against it.”

Shit. What the hell did I say that for? Apparently “Here, let me help” wasn’t good enough.

I don’t have a chance to say anything else. She runs.

“Wait,” I call out and make a move to go after her, but my leg says to hell with that. And what am I planning to do? Chase her down the hallway, naked? Like that won’t get me arrested.

“Dude, I told you women don’t like physics,” Nik says. “It’s boring.”

I turn off the water. “Physics isn’t boring. It’s the difference between you getting a goal or the opposition stealing the puck from you. Maybe if you appreciated it more, your scoring average would be higher.”

“Hey, there was nothing wrong with my average last season.”

I choose to ignore that and glance around. The benches are wet and the girl left a bucket of soapy water on the floor, along with a scrub brush. “What did she say to us?”

“Something about the sauna being closed. Who knows.”

I groan. Not what I wanted to hear.

Nik shrugs. “I guess it was closed while she was cleaning, but now that she’s gone, we might as well stay. The heat is still on.” He climbs onto the top bench.

• • •

I wander along the sidewalk toward my apartment, my leg no longer aching. The warm, late afternoon sun is still high in the sky. Cars drive past on the busy road, along with the occasional cyclist. Everyone is in a rush to get home.

Everyone but me.

Ahead of me is the small park I’ve hung out in a couple of times since arriving in Helsinki two weeks ago. It’s quiet here and a great place to work on my lesson plans for the next day. To think about each boy’s strengths and weaknesses, and to figure out how I can help them become better players. That’s why their parents spent money for the summer training camp for elite players.

I walk down the path to the pond and that’s when I see her. At least I think she’s the same girl from the sauna. Instead of the brown uniform, she’s wearing denim shorts and a simple white tank top. Her endless legs are toned, and her long hair is still in the messy ponytail.

She watches a swan on the pond then crouches and lifts her camera, aiming it at the bird.

I’m about to walk over and apologize for what happened in the sauna when her phone rings. She answers it and sits on the neatly manicured, grassy bank. I sit a few yards away, waiting for her to finish her call. She doesn’t seem to notice me.

I remove my notepad and pen from my backpack. I jot a few things down and study my coaching notes. I hadn’t originally planned to become a coach. My goal had strictly been to play in the NHL. But once my little brother was old enough to strap on skates, I’d taken up the role of coach for his hockey teams. In the end, that had worked in my favor.

I glance at the girl again. She ends her call and returns the phone to her backpack.

Sensing she’s about to leave, I push myself up to stand. My leg stiffened in the short time I was sitting, and when she looks toward me the limb is back. Recognition hits and she blushes.

“Hi, is it okay if I sit?” I gesture to the patch of grass next to her.

She nods and goes back to watching the swan.

“I’m sorry about what happened in the sauna. We didn’t realize it was closed.”

She smiles, a light blush hitting her cheeks. It’s not a big smile, but it’s better than nothing. “That’s okay. I’m sorry I hurt you. You startled me…and…and I thought you were someone else.”

“You didn’t hurt me.”

She frowns. “But you were just limping.”

“It’s nothing. My leg sometimes stiffens. Old childhood injury,” I add, hoping she gets the hint I don’t want to discuss it. I never do. “Who did you think we were when you blasted me with the water?”

“Just some jerks who harassed me this morning while I was cleaning the men’s bathroom.” She scrunches her nose in a way that makes her looks adorable. “Today was my first day, and they thought it was entertaining that I don’t speak much Finnish. I guess I was a little tense when you and your friend came in.”

“So how ’bout we start over. Hi, I’m Kyle.”

“Sofia.” She glances at her phone and scrambles up. “I have to catch my bus.”

For a second, I think she’s going to suggest we should get together sometime, maybe go for a coffee. But she doesn’t. She rushes off. No hesitation or deliberation.

Like she never even considered it.

We’re often faced with moments in our lives that we regret. It could be something as simple as buying the wrong toothpaste and hating the taste of it. It could be something bigger that changes our lives, sometimes for the better, mostly for the worst.

Or sometimes it’s just waking up and realizing our mistakes from last night will haunt us for the rest of the day. I open my eyes and instantly recognize this is going to be one of those days. The bright light streaming into my room aggravates the pounding in my head. Shit.

My stomach churns, reminding me that it’s dealing with the aftermath of last night, too. For now it feels somewhat stable, as long as I don’t move. I snap my eyes shut and try to will myself back to sleep. That way when I wake up again, my hangover will be gone. I don’t remember last night, and I’d rather not remember the after effects while I’m at it.

Cool fingers trace along my back and slip under the sheet wrapped around my waist. Despite the pounding in my head, I vaguely remember the previous evening. I went out with Nik, my former NHL teammate. We drank. I tried to forget the past year. I tried to pretend the ache in my leg hadn’t worsened from an intensive day on the ice. And I tried to do what I promised my family I would do once I arrived in Finland: move on with my life.

The hand moves over my hip. I turn so I can see the girl who I’d hoped would make that all possible, even for a few hours. The blurred vision, with chin-length black hair, leans over me. I twist back around, reach for my glasses on the bedside table, and put them on. Last night, the girl looked like a hot version of Snow White. The morning after version looks like she ate the poisoned apple. Her face is pale and makeup is smeared under her eyes—not in a good way.

The good news, if you can call it that, is that we aren’t in my room. Not unless a tornado hit mine and deposited a mountain of fashion magazines and women’s clothing across the floor and furniture.

“Hi,” Snow White purrs with a thick Finnish accent, and for a moment I’m tempted to close my eyes and see if she vanishes when I open them again. To see if I vanish to a new location, preferably my apartment. But something tells me that won’t work, no matter how much I wish for it.

I stare at the ceiling, compounding my headache further as I struggle to remember what happened last night. I remember drinking. I remember playing pool and winning. I remember talking to my brother on my cell phone…

“Fuck,” I mutter.

Snow White scoots over and whispers in my ear, “Yes, please.” Her voice is the low murmur of seduction.

“The energy of light per unit of time determines its intensity. And right now, the light shining through your blinds is carrying too much energy.”

She blinks, having no idea what I said.

“The light is bright and it’s fucking with my hangover.”

Her confused expression slips away, to be replaced by the familiar ‘God, you’re weird.’

“How did we get here?” I ask.

“You don’t remember? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You were kind of drunk.”
No shit
. “Don’t worry. I drove.”

“My car?”

“No, my car. Yours is still at the nightclub. I can drive you back to get it if you want.”

I push myself up to sit. My head argues that decision. It takes everything I have not to collapse back onto the bed. I check her alarm clock and groan. It’s already 11:24 a.m.

“I need to go.” I scoot off the bed.

She scrambles after me and grabs my arm. “Now? Can’t we have a shower first?” Though from the way she says it, it’s clear she’s hoping for more than just getting clean. If it weren’t for the hangover, and if I didn’t have to talk to Cody, I’d be all over the shower idea.

“I have to be somewhere.” I snatch my underwear from the floor. “I can get a cab.”

“No, I’ll drive you. Give me a second to get ready.” She returns dressed in jeans and a tank top, her face washed and with the same amount of makeup as before.

She drives me back to the side street, lined with low-rise apartment buildings, where I left my rental car last night.

“Did my friend drive home last night?” If I was drunk, Nik would have been, too. Whenever we drink together, we pretty much drink the same amount as each other, although his tolerance is slightly greater than mine, given that he’s about thirty pounds heavier.

“No, my friend drove him and his car back to her place. Your friend wasn’t in any condition to drive. He wasn’t too happy about that, though. Kept claiming he was sober enough.”

That doesn’t surprise me. It’s only when a drunk driver hits your vehicle, kills your wife, and fucks up your future does it alter your perception of things, and you’re less likely to lie to yourself about your state of inebriation. Nik wasn’t even the one who stood by my side while I recovered from the accident. And Nik wasn’t the one who encouraged me though every setback. That was entirely my family.

But Nik’s the one who is there when I need to forget. He’s the one I can turn to when I need to escape from it all. Hell, he’s the one who gave me this opportunity in Finland to pull my life together.

“Tell her thanks for not letting him be an ass and drive,” I say. “And thanks for not letting me drive and…and for last night.”

“You’re welcome.” She hands me a pink scrap of paper with her name and phone number scrawled on it. “Call me.” She then leans over and kisses me on the cheek.

“Okay,” I say, even though I have no intention of doing that. She’s nice and all, but I’m not interested in things going beyond a one-night stand.

I climb out her of car and squeeze into mine, which wasn’t designed with my tall body in mind. None of the Finnish cars are—a fact my legs have grumbled about numerous times.

I turn the engine as my cell phone rings. Cody. I cringe and answer it. “Hey, dude.” I attempt to mask the rough night that lingers in my voice—and fail.

“What’s up?” my sixteen-year-old brother asks as I decrease the volume on the car stereo. I can barely hear the steady beat of the bass, for which my head is eternally grateful.

“Not much.”
I’m just heading home to sleep off this hangover
. “What’s going on with you? You ready for hockey camp next week?”

“Where were you last night?” His voice is rough, but not for the same reason as mine. He’s pissed. Beyond pissed.

“I was out with friends,” I say casually, the opposite of how I feel.

“You promised me. You said things would be different in Finland. But it’s still the same shit. Nothing’s changed.” Mom must not be home. Cody wouldn’t dare cuss in front of her.

I drop my head back against the headrest and close my eyes. He’s right. That’s what I thought would happen when I got here. Nik had planned to come to Finland for the summer, to help with his uncle’s elite ice hockey training camp for boys. One of the coaches had backed out for personal issues and Nik convinced me to join him. His uncle was delighted to have another NHL player coach the teens, even if I was no longer able to play with the league because of my fucked-up leg. It was an offer I couldn’t say no to, even if my family had reservations about it. It’s great experience for my resume, something I need more of if I want to pursue a coaching career. It’s a break from the painful memories. It’s a timeout from my family’s ever-watchful eye.

Who wouldn’t have jumped at the position?

“It’s not as bad as it sounds,” I explain. “You just called me at a bad time last night.”

“You went home with her, didn’t you?”

“Who?” I say even though I have a good idea who he’s referring to.

“The girl who answered your phone.”

I’m not sure how to answer. Cody’s sixteen. He’s not an idiot. But I’m hardly going to admit I had sex with her.

“I thought you loved Gabby,” he powers on.

I squeeze my eyes shut against the pain that has nothing to do with the hangover. “I did love her. But she’s dead, Cody. Me not sleeping around won’t change that. She’s not coming back.”

It’s not like I’m even fucking all those girls to dull the pain of losing my wife. Gabby and I got married when we were only twenty. An idiot move, really. I didn’t realize it at the time. I loved her, but I’m finally getting to do what I missed out on by settling down so young. And to hell if Cody thinks he can guilt me into becoming a saint or some born-again virgin.

A raindrop splatters against the windshield. A sullen cloud I hadn’t noticed before darkens the sky.