Heat it Up: Off the Ice - Book One (29 page)

The wedding party leaves for photos. All of Joni’s relatives from last night keep coming over to me and asking about my foot. It’s not until forty minutes later that I can finally slip away to call Mom again.

“Aren’t you at the wedding?” she asks. A man speaks in the background and I cringe. Mom’s on a date? God, did I interrupt them making out? Ewwww.

“Who’s there?” I blurt even though I don’t really want to hear the answer. I should be happy for her, but this is my mom we’re talking about. I can’t picture her with another man who isn’t my dad. I know they’re never getting back together but still.

“It’s your father.”

Huh? I couldn’t have been more surprised if she had said in a breathy, Darth-Vader voice:
It is your father, Sofia
. “Why is Dad there?”

“We talked and realized we still care a lot for each other. So we went out on a date. And one thing led to another. We’ve been seeing a marriage counselor for the past month.” And that’s why he’d phoned to see how Muumu was doing after the heart attack. It was also because he wanted to talk to Mom.

I’m too stunned to speak. After everything she went through, the shame and humiliation, she’s willing to forgive him. Maybe even fully trust him again, one day. She’s willing to leave the past in the past. Maybe I should do the same. Maybe I can take the risk that things will work out for me and Kyle, and that he’ll never hurt me like Ian did.

Even if we aren’t living in the same state.

But this is all assuming he still wants to see me once he moves to Seattle. I guess it’s time we have that conversation. Right after I decide if I’m staying in Finland or not.

But first, before I can do that, I need to survive this wedding.

Aino gestures at me. “Come. Come.”

Kai stick-handles the puck to an open spot and takes a shot. When I first started working with the boys, it would’ve been an easy shot for him. He has the talent to go far in the game, but he’s lost the heart for it and it’s showing no signs of returning.

The puck flies past the open crease, straight to the skates of a player from the other team. I glance at my watch and blow my whistle. The shrill sound grabs their attention and they groan.

“Sorry, guys. That’s all we have time for. I’ll see you tomorrow.” As they skate toward the locker room, I call out, “Kai, can I talk to you for a second?” I haven’t pulled him aside since the last time I talked to him a few weeks ago.

He stops in front of me but doesn’t say anything. Eyes averted, he chips away at the cracked ice with the side of his blade. I indicate for him to follow me, and we enter the box and sit on the bench. Kai removes his helmet and since he can’t pretend to study the ice anymore, he studies his helmet instead.

“Kai, you’re a very talented player. I saw that when we first started camp. But something’s obviously bothering you, and I can’t help you if you won’t let me.”

He remains silent and I add, “I want to help you. I know what it’s like to feel as if the world is against you, and it’s easier shutting down than dealing with it.”

He eyes me for a moment, the need burning in his gaze to tell someone what’s going on, mixed with confusion as to whether or not to deny it. He eventually nods. “It’s my dad. My mom recently died. She had cancer. And he’s changed.”

“In what way?”

“He does not talk to me now. He lost his job…He does not eat much…And every time he looks at me, he hates me and wishes I were dead and not her.”

My stomach turns to lead and struggles against the force of gravity. “I’m sure he doesn’t feel that way. Grief can change us. It can make us lose perspective and it can consume us.” But even as I say it, I wonder how anyone can make their own child feel that way, even if they are so overwhelmed with grief. “But if you show him you’re there for him, and let him know you need him as much as he needs you, it’ll be the first step in helping him. In helping both of you.”

My words come from the heart. My family did this for me when I first struggled to cope with Gabby’s death and with the loss of my dreams. If they hadn’t shown me they were there for me, would I have gotten over my grief? My family saved me.

“I don’t know…” Kai says. His shoulders are hunched, carrying the weight of several large planets. No kid should ever feel that way.

I proceed to tell him the abbreviated version of what happened to me and how my parents helped me. I skip the parts about the sex and how I was still drinking more than I should until recently.

Once I’m finished, Kai smiles. The movement is small, not noticeable by most. It’s more about hope than happiness. And for the first time in a while, hope stirs deep in me, as if woken from a long hibernation. Hope about my ability to be strong despite everything I’ve lost.

Hope about my future.

Hope about Sofia.

Kai skates back to the locker room. I don’t feel like heading there yet. Nik can keep the boys out of trouble while they get ready to go home.

Other than me, the rink is empty. And just like I used to do when I was trying to figure things out, I start skating laps around the ice. My leg aches, but I don’t care. I just keep going, shifting back and forth between skating forward and backward.

Eventually I stop, the fatigue in my leg burning too much. I skate off the ice and enter the empty locker room. I remove my skates and strip off my sweaty athletic clothing, then grab my towel and head for the showers.

Closing my eyes, I duck my head under the stream of water and rinse the sweat from my hair. Once I’m finished, I shut the water off and turn around.

At the sight of the last person I expect to see in the men’s locker room, I startle. “What are you doing here?” I ask Lovisa—or Daniela. I still can’t tell the twins apart.

But it doesn’t matter if it’s Lovisa or Daniela, I’m naked…and so is she.
Fuck
.

I snatch my towel off the hook. What the hell am I supposed to do? Cover myself up or throw her the towel so she can cover
herself
up?

I toss her the towel. She catches it but isn’t in a rush to cover herself. I attempt to block her view of my package with my hand.

“I wanted to say hi, Kyle.”

“Great, you’ve said hi. Now put on your clothes and go.”

Pouting, she wraps the towel around her chest and takes a step toward me. I step back, maintaining the distance between us. “What part of ‘now go’ are you having trouble with?” I ask.

“You don’t have to be shy with me.”

“I’m not being shy. This is the men’s locker room.”

Her gaze drops to my hand covering my package. “So I’ve noticed.”

“And you can’t be in here.”

She takes another step forward, cornering me. “Sure I can. Ever had shower sex? I thought we could try it out. Together.”

“I have a girlfriend.” I don’t know if it’s true or not, but this isn’t the time to get into those semantics. And as far as Lovisa knows, I’m dating Sofia. Which means why in hell is she in here? “Weren’t you supposed to be in Jyväskylä with Joni?”

“Plans changed.”

So, she’s definitely Lovisa.

The sound of the locker-room door opening mocks me. Shit. The good news, if you can call it that, is she’s still wearing the towel.

“You and I will be hot together,” she whispers. Damn shower acoustics. Even though she whispered it, her words are heard by the occupants in the other room.

Nik and his uncle enter the shower area. Nik’s face holds an edge of amusement. His uncle is less than impressed.

“What’s going on here?” Alvar Tikkanen says.

Before either of us can respond, he tells Lovisa, “I don’t care who you are, get out of here or else I will have you charged for trespassing.”

Lovisa doesn’t stick around to find out if he’s bluffing. I release a relieved breath. Hopefully that’s the last I’ll see of her. One thing I’m certain about is that not only does Joni knows about this, but he’ll make sure Sofia knows, too.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Alvar says, his face red, nostrils flaring.

I open my mouth to tell him it’s not what he thinks, but he doesn’t give me a chance to defend myself.

“You’re lucky we walked in when we did, and not when you and the girl were having sex. And you were lucky it was us who walked in on you and not one of the boys from the camp. Do you realize what your careless indiscretions could have done to the reputation of the camp? If I had known you would do something stupid like this, I never would have given you those recommendations.”

He pauses his rant long enough for me to get a word in. “I didn’t invite her in here. Nor did I plan to have sex with her. I didn’t even know she was in here until it was too late.”

Alvar digests this. His stance is still stiff, but I can tell he believes me. “Do you know her?”

I nod. “Not very well. I just met her once, and I have no idea how she knew where to find me.” Although I do have a strong suspicion how she knew enough to track me down.

“Do you think she’ll be a problem again?”

I have no idea. Who knows what else Joni has planned. “Hopefully not.”

“Well, for you own safety and for the safety of the program, you’re to ensure you’re never alone in here.” He looks at his nephew. “If he’s in here, then you’re in here.”

“Yes, sir,” Nik says, his face a mask of seriousness. Deep down he’s laughing that he now gets to babysit me.

Alvar leaves and I change into my regular clothes. Joni and Sofia should be leaving soon to drive back to Vantaa. I send her a text. There’s no easy way to put it so I simply type:
Hope you had a great trip. Just want you to know that Lovisa came into the men’s locker room at the arena while I was showering. Nik and his uncle saved me from her. Miss you.

As I’m gathering up my stuff, Sofia replies.

Glad you’re okay. Miss you too. Talk to you soon. :)

Nik slaps me on the back. “Okay, loverboy. Let’s get out of here before anymore of your fangirls show up, naked.” Although from the way he says it, he wouldn’t be opposed to it.

The arena door opens and a group of boys exit. I recognize them from when I watched Kyle work the day I took photos for the photo album. The boy Kyle was talking to that day, after practice, leaves with two other boys. All three of them are laughing. I almost don’t recognize him. The last time I saw him, it looked like someone had died.

They walk past, talking in rapid Finnish. Eventually Kyle and Nik exit the building. It takes everything in my power not to run to Kyle and jump into his arms. Everything in my power, along with a pair of crutches.

The crutches I never told Kyle about.

His eyebrows draw together in a dark line. “What the hell happened to you?” He doesn’t have to say it; I can see it in his eyes. He thinks what happened is Joni’s fault, and in a small way it was. Except I have no intention of telling Kyle that. Yes, I want us to be honest with each other, but telling him that Joni kissed me is like wrestling with a hungry bear. Not the brightest of ideas.

“I didn’t see some broken glass in the sand and stepped on it. It’s really nothing. I just needed a few stitches.” Well, more like six.

Kyle takes a crutch and hands it to Nik. He wraps his arm around my waist and hands Nik the other crutch. Then his lips are on mine just like I’d fantasized all weekend, and everything else is quickly forgotten.

Who knows how long we’ve been kissing when Nik says, “Dude, I do have someplace to go.”

At first I can’t figure out what he’s talking about. Why does he have to wait for us to finish kissing, which if I had my way would be never? Then I remember why: he’s still holding my crutches.

Thinking that Kyle’s going to let go of me so I can take the crutches from Nik, I attempt to pull away. Kyle’s arms remain locked around me. Before I can say anything, he scoops me up and walks toward the parking lot. His clean ocean scent, which I’ve missed more than I thought would be possible, welcomes me. I bury my face into his shoulder and breathe him in.

Nik doesn’t have any other choice but to follow. He smirks at me like he knows exactly what’s going to happen soon enough. He’s right. I plan to make love to Kyle and make up for being away from him for so long, even if it could be one of the last times I might be making love to him.

A crushing pressure in my heart warns me that saying goodbye to him in the end will be the most painful thing I’ve ever done. I’ve never been good with goodbyes, and this one will be so much worse.

I push the fear aside and dwell on this moment, on this man.

Kyle carries me to the arena parking lot and lowers me next to the passenger side of his small rental car. He takes the crutches from Nik and places them in the backseat, then opens the passenger door for me. I climb in.

If it weren’t for my foot, we could have walked along the sea front by the marketplace. I can still do that with my crutches, but clearly Kyle has other plans in mind. He drives me back to his apartment as he asks questions about the trip and about my visit to the university. He seems as excited about my time at the university as I was about being there.

Normally we take the stairs to his floor, but given my situation, we’re forced to ride the elevator. The incredibly slow elevator. Or at least it’s slow until we’re inside it, kissing. Just as our kisses turn full-out hot, the damn elevator door pings open.

In his apartment, we can barely keep our hands off each other. A trail of clothes extends from the front door to his room, leaving us in only our underwear. And even that doesn’t last on us for long.

Kyle scoops me up again and I let my crutches fall to the floor. He lowers me onto the bed and joins me a heartbeat later as his lips find mine once more.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he murmurs against them.

I kiss him back. “Good. I’ve missed you too.”

“I’ve thought about nothing since you left other than tasting you.” His tongue traces its way along my jaw and down my neck. Jolts of electricity fan out from each point of contact. I moan and my fingers draw a line down his back, relishing the strength of each muscle. I flash back to my first year anatomy class. If only that class had been this much fun, this exciting. If it had been, I might’ve gotten an A.