Heaven and Hell (29 page)

“My wife and I have done all we could to let Jerry know just how much God loves him,” continued Bill. “We’ve even taken him to talk to God, in Zion.”

“And we’ve had some swell talks,” Jerry said. “God is just so wonderful. I always feel so good after I’ve talked to Him.”

“I want him to be able to make the right choice when that day comes,” continued Bill.

“I will,” Jerry said, hugging his father all the more. “I promise.”

“I know you will,” Bill said, kissing him on the cheek. “Sometimes, angels are given the responsibility of bringing up children who have died before their time, before they have reached the age of accountability. This is the way of children whose parents shall one day be reunited with them here in Heaven, ones with no other kin here. But for those who shall not be reunited with their earthly parents, heavenly parents are selected. God blessed Sarah and I by allowing us to become heavenly parents. Just like the Sarah of the Old Testament, my Sarah has become a mother in her old age.” Bill couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony of it all. Still, it was a sweet irony, one that had blessed them both.

“May God’s name be praised forever. I can tell you that Sarah and I are more grateful than we can say.”

Almost on cue, there was a tug on Jerry’s pole. Jerry barely got a hold on it before the battle with a particularly large trout began in earnest. The pole bent toward the water as Jerry pulled upward.

“You’ve got one!” exclaimed Bill, helping his son steady the pole, as it twisted to the left.

“A big one by the looks of it,” said Chris, looking toward the deep pool just in time to see the trout stir the waters.

“Sure looks like it,” confirmed Bill, trying to coach his son more than take over the line. “Take your time Jerry, play him. Don’t try to reel him in all at once.”

“Well, I’ve had a great time chatting with the two of you, but I think I’ll be heading on back home,” said Chris, as he stood up. He didn’t want to interfere with this moment between a father and son.

“Send my regards to your mother,” said Bill, looking up momentarily.

“I surely will,” Chris said, turning to leave.

“And don’t be a stranger,” added Bill, “drop by sometime. I’d really love to continue our conversation. I like hearing the perspectives of other saints.”

Chris nodded and headed for home. He heard them laughing as they reeled in the big one together. He smiled, remembering such times with his own father back on Earth. He remembered his father, and all of the great times they had together. That very fact meant that they would be reunited again. It was something to look forward to.

Yet, as Chris continued the trek home, he couldn’t help but think of what his mother had said about his uncle Bill and their fishing adventures; adventures he no longer remembered. And he thought of the woman in his dreams. Who was she? Did she really exist? He thought he’d managed to shake the feeling that something was missing in his life here, but he realized that this thought had been in the back of his mind all day, hidden but present. His conversation with Bill merely brought it to the surface.

“I’m happy that you had the opportunity to meet Bill Anderson this afternoon,” Jennifer said, as she sat down to dinner with her son. “He and Sarah are wonderful people. After I got here, they were two of the first people I met. They’ve been so happy since Jerry came into their lives. God senses our needs, and like the loving Father He is, He gives us those things that would be beneficial to us.”

Chris looked up from his salad. “I was just thinking about Jerry. I suppose that he’s aging just like he would on Earth, right?”

“Yes, he seems to be,” replied Jennifer. “He’ll continue to grow, to become the man he would have become on Earth, if he’d had the opportunity. He won’t go through puberty, he’ll be spared that, but his body will develop to adulthood.” Jennifer paused, then started to laugh.

“What’s so funny, Mom?”

It was several seconds before Jennifer was able to respond. “Oh, I was just thinking of you when you were about Jerry’s age, when your body started to go through those changes. I was thinking of the Sunday morning that your catechism class graduated. You were all standing up in front of the church. I was so proud of you that morning; you were just thirteen, but you looked so much like a man, like your father. Well, when it came to the part where you introduced yourself to the congregation, you said Christopher Davis. You said Christopher in such a low manly voice, but then, your voiced cracked, and you said Davis in the voice of a child. I’m sure no one thought a thing of it, I mean they didn’t laugh. I know you were embarrassed by it, but afterward it seemed so funny.” Again Jennifer laughed. “I think that was the last time your voice did that.”

Chris managed a chuckle. He remembered the incident all too vividly. It was so embarrassing. The pastor had moved right on with the program and hadn’t said a word about it later. As a mater of fact, no one had said a word about it. Nevertheless, that incident had rattled around in his mind for days.

“Cracking voice or not, your father and I were so proud of you.”

“So Jerry is in a sort of probationary period.” noted Chris, all too eager to change the subject.

“I guess you could call it that,” Jennifer said. “People like Jerry aren’t exactly like us. Like any human being, he must make the conscious decision to love God, to be a part of His family. He wasn’t afforded that opportunity on Earth, so he is being given it here. He has to choose. Jerry is not like one of the angels either. You see, when the angels were created, God gave them all the knowledge they needed to do their tasks. God created them with the desire to do whatever that is.”

“Except satan,” interrupted Chris.

Jennifer had to think about that one. “I didn’t say that angels didn’t have a free will, they all do. They also have very human-like emotions. Satan’s pride and arrogance became his undoing. He knew God but rejected His love and His authority. Humans like Jerry who are born into Heaven need time to learn, time to experience the presence of God. They are born with a clean-slate mind and need parents, guides, who are given the responsibility to teach them.

It is only natural for them to love their parents and the Creator that loves them so very much. Sure, there will be problems; kids everywhere learn by making mistakes, but Heaven is a whole lot more forgiving than Earth. Nothing they do here will permanently injure them, but they will remember the consequences. You can still burn yourself on a hot stove, and it still hurts. The nice thing is that after a minute, the burn heals completely. As for their personality, it is being molded by loving, caring parents. In the end, the child grows to become a loving adult. Eventually he will have to appear before God and announce his choice.”

“What if he elects to serve God?” asked Chris.

“Then he becomes like us, a full-fledged child of God.”

“And if he turns his back on God?”

“Well, how could he?” objected Jennifer, just a bit flustered at the thought. “After all he has seen, all he has experienced, why would he?”

“I know Jerry wouldn’t, but some people might just do that. What about them?”

“None that I’ve ever heard of have. Think of the kind of parents they have here, the guidance, the very presence of God.” She paused, deciding not to avoid the question. “I suppose they’d be cast into outer darkness, but it’s never happened,” Jennifer said.

“And if any ever had, would we even remember? How certain can we be of anything here, if we can’t be sure of our own memories?” Chris’s tone had risen. There was a sense of frustration in it.

“Chris!” scolded Jennifer, “What’s gotten into you? You need to listen to yourself for a moment. It’s like you were accusing God of manipulating you. He loves you, you know that. He wants you to be happy here.”

“I’m sorry, Mom,” replied Chris, “There have been a lot of things on my mind. I’ve had those dreams, the sense that something was wrong. I need to know what’s going on. I don’t want God to shield me from the truth. I need to face it, no matter how terrible it is.”

“Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it,” warned Jennifer.

“Do you remember what God told me in Zion?” asked Chris, his tone somewhat more calm. “It was almost like a warning.”

“And He told you to turn to Him when you were troubled,” said Jennifer. “You need to remember that. Maybe you need to ask Him to help you find peace. I assure you, He will do it.” Jennifer paused, her expression grew somewhat solemn. “I wasn’t going to tell you about it, but I’ve heard stories of other people like you in Heaven, people who had a sense that something, or someone, was missing. I’ve never actually met anyone who was like that; you see, it’s just so rare. I don’t know why it happens to a few people and not to the rest of us. It didn’t happen to me.”

Chris looked at his mother with an expression of incredulity. He leaned forward in his chair. “You mean others have had bad dreams, fragments of memories?”

“So I’ve been told,” confirmed Jennifer. “I was wrong not to tell you, I know that now. By not telling you, I’ve been a poor witness for God. I’m sorry.”

Chris saw the sadness in his mother’s eyes, and he felt about an inch tall. He had upset her, him and his attitude. He rose from his chair and walked over to embrace her. “I’m sorry, Mom, really.”

“No,” Jennifer said, “it’s all right, you need to know. I was just hoping you wouldn’t have to go through this. I was hoping that it would all blow over, but I can see that it won’t. Please, walk with me in the garden.”

The two walked out into the cool afternoon air. It was Jennifer who spoke first.

“Do you recall a Scripture about tears in Heaven, about crying, about God wiping the tears from the eyes of those persons?”

Chris had to think about that one. “Sort of, but I don’t remember where it is in the Bible.”

“The tears are shed for the lost, for things we failed to accomplish on Earth, for people we failed to win to the Kingdom of Heaven. I can’t even imagine the burden; I don’t want to. But you might end up carrying that burden if you keep going in the direction you’re going now. You need to ask God to help you let go of that burden. It is He who can wipe the tears from your eyes and remove the burden from your heart.”

The thought of the woman in the Hall of Records rushed into the young man’s mind. She remembered a soul in Hell and mourned for him or her. He knew it was a memory that brought her tremendous grief. Most certainly it was the memory of a loved one. Was there an escape from that grief? Chris knew the answer to that question. The escape would be found in the loving arms of his heavenly Father.

“Turn to God,” continued Jennifer, “He asked you to. He is the only one who can help you with this. We can go to Zion this very minute, if you wish. I think we should.”

“No,” replied Chris. “We don’t need to. God is everywhere in this place. If I ask Him here and now to have this burden lifted from my heart, I believe it would be done.”

“But you haven’t asked, have you?”

Chris hesitated to reply. “No, I haven’t.”

“Oh, honey, why not?” asked Jennifer.

“Well, it’s just that…well, suppose it’s important that I eventually remember. Suppose that this person who has appeared in my dreams needs me. I have this sense that someone, someone important to me, is crying out to me and needs my help.”

“OK, Chris, suppose you’re right. That someone can’t be here in Heaven, you’d remember them if they were. If they’re on Earth, there is nothing you can do for them, don’t you see? It’s not in your power to interfere in their destiny. That’s why I stopped looking in on you. I could never be more than an observer. Even as much as God loves them, He will not force His desires on them.” Jennifer hesitated before continuing. “And if they’re in Hell, there is even less you can do. There is a huge gulf between us and them; they’re already doomed. Oh please, dear, give it up.”

“All right,” replied Chris, gazing across the green fields toward the setting sun, “I’ll ask that this memory or whatever it is be lifted from me; I’ll do it tonight.”

“It’s for the best, really,” said Jennifer, obviously relieved by her son’s decision. “I really feel that you should go to Zion and make your petition to God, face to face.”

“Perhaps later,” Chris said.

Chris walked from the garden to the porch and sat down in the old rocking chair, watching the light of another day fade from the sky. His mother sat down in the chair by his side.