Heaven and Hell (33 page)

Jennifer’s face lit up with alarm. “No, Serena made her own choice. I’m sorry, Chris, but you know I’m right. You can’t blame this on God. You told her the way to salvation; she was surrounded by the love of God’s people at our church. God didn’t reject her, Chris, she rejected Him. Everyone makes their own choices.

There has to be healing now. God’s love will see us through this. You know that. We’ve got to go see Him, and we’ve got to do it now.”

“No we don’t,” said Chris, rising to his feet. “You know what will happen if we go to God now. No one gets out of Hell, no one; that’s what He will tell us. We could beg and plead for the rest of eternity, and it wouldn’t do any good.”

“I’m not talking about pleading for her release,” Jennifer said. “She made her choice. I’m talking about our healing, Chris.”

“Oh, I see,” said Chris, tears streaming from his angry eyes. “Maybe He will wipe our memories clean, take away our pain. That would solve our problems, wouldn’t it, Mother? Then Serena could suffer on, and no one would care because she’d be a nonentity, forgotten, discarded. No, she deserves more than that. No one will ever take her memory from me. She may be tormented in Hell for eternity, but there will be someone who still loves her, someone who will grieve for her. She deserves to be remembered.

“You’re right, Mom, Serena didn’t accept Jesus as her personal Lord and Savior, but look at how life had treated her. She was abused and tormented. It hardened her heart, hardened it to the point where she couldn’t believe in anything she couldn’t see. Maybe if she’d had more time. She didn’t have more time because of me. It was my fault!”

Jennifer looked to her son with horrified eyes. “
Your
fault?”

“Yes, my fault,” cried Chris. “I was at the wheel of the car that night. I wasn’t paying attention to the road. I was driving way too fast. Now Serena is paying for my mistake,
my
mistake! It wasn’t her fault, but she has to pay for it anyway. Tell me about God’s love, Mother.”

Jennifer was crying as she watched her son storm away. “Chris, where are you going? Chris!”

There was no answer. He turned the corner and vanished behind a wall of books. What could be done now? Should she run after him? No, he wouldn’t listen to her, not in his current state of mind. She hesitated, uncertain as to what she should do. Was there anything she could do that would matter? Again, she turned to the ominous black book. Slowly she was drawn to it. Who was this woman, this Serena Farnsworth? She was her daughter-in-law. Regardless of whether she knew her or not, this was the woman who had brought joy into her son’s heart, the woman whose fate now so distressed him. Perhaps Chris was right. Perhaps God would, in the end, wipe the memory of this woman from her mind, but for now, she wanted to know more about her. She had to understand what it was about Serena, a non-believer, that had captivated her son’s heart.

Jennifer pulled the book from its place on the shelf. She felt a wave of sadness hit her, as if the very materials from which this volume was fabricated contained the essence of Serena’s soul. She had never felt such a sensation. Slowly, she opened the book to its first page and was inundated by the first life experiences of this young woman. She was tempted to close the volume, to spare herself the pain that it most certainly contained, but she couldn’t. She had to know this woman, and this was the only way.

How long the book’s vision went on, Jennifer couldn’t say, but she came to know well the daughter-in-law she had never met. She saw the darkness and the light, the depths of her depravity and summit of her sweet love, the love Serena and Chris had shared. She had changed. The Spirit of God had been working with her. During the last years of her life, she was in the process of being remade. Jennifer was sure of it. Serena had become so caring, so giving to all those around her. Her life was a mirror of the Christian experience. She had walked the walk, but deep within her battered heart, she had been unable to accept God’s free gift of eternal life. The words of the song, “Almost Persuaded,” swept into her mind, as if they had been written for Serena Farnsworth. If only there had been more time. This story, this life, was a tragedy in every sense of the word. If only she had realized what little time remained. Would knowing this have helped her?

Jesus had told so many parables of those who would be unprepared for His coming. For them, the Lord had returned at a time when they least expected it. The story before her, that she now witnessed unfolding all around her, was every bit as tragic as any within the Bible.

Jennifer continued to page through the book, which carried her from Serena’s life into her afterlife. She saw Serena standing before the judgment seat of God, felt her despair as her sentence was brought forth and she was carried into outer darkness. But what amazed Jennifer most was the kindness, the compassion she had shown to others, even in Hell. Though damned, she would not bow before satan nor do him homage, even when faced with the dire consequences of her disobedience.

Jennifer could bear it no longer and closed the book as she saw Serena tumble toward the sea of fire. The vision faded, and she found herself in the quiet of the Hall of Records once more. She had to see God, had to council with her Creator. Only He could become her refuge, as He had always promised. He would have her answers. But would they be the answers that she wanted to hear?

Could she possibly hope to convince him to change his verdict regarding Serena? She had grave doubts about that, but she would try. After all, hadn’t Moses once convinced God to change His mind when He had decided to destroy the disobedient children of Israel while they were in the wilderness? With all of her heart, she would try.

Jennifer made her way through the busy streets of Zion toward the most holy of holy places. She took no notice of those around her. She was desperate, and speaking to the Father became her only focus.

The great plaza was as crowded as usual as Jennifer entered. She was determined to get as close to God as she possibly could. It wasn’t that it really mattered, even from a mile away she could hold the same intimate conversation with the heavenly Father. But this time she had to be close. She moved forward through the swelling crowds, searching for any avenue that would bring her just a bit nearer to the thrown of God. Today, she seemed to be finding those avenues, moving among the singing and praising people, drawing ever closer. One gap in the crowd would open before her, and then another. Humans and angels seemed to actually be moving out of her way, making room before her.

She was reminded of the parting of the Red Sea before the Israelites, but instead of a sea of water, it was a sea of people making way for her. An avenue seemed to be opening up before her, an avenue leading straight to the Father. Her eyes were affixed upon Him all the while as she drew ever closer. All the while, she was aware that she was being watched by those around her, the gaze of loving and concerned eyes. Time seemed to blur; she knew not how long she had walked into the growing radiance of the Father. A final parting of the people around her brought her almost to the great platform upon which God, the four beasts, and the 24 elders abided.

Jennifer was so close. Never had she dreamed of being so close to God. She could discern the features of the 24 elders robed in white who sat atop the great platform of white marble, upon golden thrones in a great circle about the Father. Their hair was long and white and each wore a crown of glistening gold. She sensed that they were very old, yet their faces did not display the telltale traces of that age. Every one of them turned toward her as she approached. Amid the great throng that surrounded her, she was convinced that they were looking directly at her. She could see the look of deep concern, of compassion upon their faces. She could even see the color and depth of their eyes. Within them, she could discern wisdom, as great a wisdom as could be contained within a human frame.

Within the circle formed by the elders, the surface of the great platform took on a very different aspect, no longer that of white marble, but rather like that of shimmering green glass, which reflected the rainbow-like aura which surrounded the Father. Seven flaming pillars of light, looking very much like flaming torches, surrounded God, creating a zone of demarcation, forming the threshold of the most holy place in all of creation.

Still closer to the Creator she beheld the four beasts. They stood around the throne of God in a perfect square. For the first time, she could see them clearly. She recalled the apostle John’s description of the beasts. He spoke of one appearing as a lion, another as an ox, while still another had a human face. The last was like an eagle in flight. She wondered if he had gotten so close a look at them as she now did.

They looked so very strange. Indeed, they looked unreal. They had an eerie luminescence and appeared translucent. Their visage seemed to change from second to second. At times, they seemed to take on the forms that John had ascribed to them, yet those forms were transitory. What were they? What purpose did they serve? Those were the sorts of questions that her son might have asked, if only he were here. They sang praises unto the Father, just as John had said, praises that Jennifer only partially comprehended. She continued forward, but more slowly.

There was so much happening here, flashes of lightning, peals of thunder, swirling light, it was almost too much for her to take in. It was only then that Jennifer’s gaze turned back.

To her amazement, she discovered that all of the multitudes in attendance were some distance behind her. She stood alone between the great throng of people and God Himself. The power and majesty of this place was beyond description. Here was more than just an incredible scene; it was in the air, radiating out from the Being who sat upon the throne. The Wellspring of creation, the Author of time and space, sat before her. How had she arrived in this place? One might remain in this assembly for months, perhaps years, and never be able to draw as close as she had in but a few minutes. It could only be that God Himself had willed it so, that He felt so much for her grief that He had brought her right to His throne. Jennifer was shivering. Instinctively, she dropped to her knees before the Creator of the universe.

Jennifer was there for a few seconds, when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see the kind face of Jesus, kneeling down before her. She fell into His arms. “Oh, Lord,” she wept, “something horrible has happened.”

“Peace, Jennifer,” He said in a soft reassuring tone while placing His arm around her. “It’s going to be all right, I promise.” Jesus rose to His feet, drawing Jennifer with Him. “Come.”

Slowly they walked up the 12 steps, toward the luminous being who sat in the midst of the four beasts. Jennifer was shaking as she looked up to see God. Never had she stood so close to the Creator, not even during her judgment. Back then, she had been aware of His brilliance and grandeur, but now she could see so much more.

He was beautiful beyond description, His proportions absolutely perfect. Surely, God was Spirit, yet He took on a form with which His people could relate. After all, He had made man in His image and likeness. Therefore, He was the template of human creation, the perfect example of the human form, without wrinkle or blemish. No, it was not He who had taken a form with which humanity could relate. Perhaps it was the other way around.

His hair appeared white, or perhaps the lightest shade of blond, and his eyes were an azure blue. Yet, any attempt to ascribe some color to his skin, his hair, or his eyes was, at best, highly subjective. Unlike human beings who were seen by reflected light, God’s body was actually radiant. He was the source of the light by which He was viewed.