Her Accidental Boyfriend: A Secret Wishes Novel (Entangled Bliss) (10 page)

Kagan was confused again, but didn’t have long to dwell on it because the moment she entered the Sullivans’ home, Meg and Henry welcomed her with big smiles and even bigger hugs.

Their warmth stirred tender emotions that she quickly blinked away. Her father hadn’t hugged her in forever. Ever since her mom had died, it was as if touching her would remind him of the woman he’d lost.

“Kagan, we’re so glad you could join us today,” Meg said, taking her arm. “Come on in and let me give you a tour.”

Being whisked away by Meg, Kagan couldn’t help but relax. The older woman put her at ease with her soft yet assured voice. And the house held just as much coziness. Dark hardwood floors, black and white family photos lining the walls, soaring ceilings that didn’t take away from the down-home furnishings. Meg shared stories behind several art pieces—especially the ones handmade by Shane and Sela.

The angel with eleven toes painted by Shane in kindergarten was Kagan’s favorite.

By the time Meg led her through the French doors that opened to a giant deck with views of the ocean, Kagan’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

And she couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to be a permanent part of this family.

Chapter Seven

Shane knew the second Kagan stepped onto the deck. This awareness, this consciousness that swooped over him whenever she was near did some serious wreckage to his head. He never played games with women. What she saw was what she got—a guy out for a good time. Nothing more. No commitment. No attachment.

But things had started to change with Kagan. With her, things
were
different.

He didn’t want different. He was perfectly happy with his life the way it was. Well, would be, once he got his promotion.

He’d almost called her this afternoon to cancel their agreement. When he’d woken from a nap in a cold sweat because of his nightmare—the same shitty nightmare that had plagued him for the past five years—he couldn’t tear his mind away from his mistake with Mia.

There were things he couldn’t take back. He knew that and knew dwelling on the past didn’t do him any good. He’d wished dozens of times he’d done things differently. He hated that he still let it eat at him. But it also served as a reminder not to let anyone get close enough to count on him.

Mia’s accident had been his fault. When he’d learned what had happened, he’d rammed his fist into a wall. He’d let her down. If he’d been with her like he’d said he would, none of it would have happened. Shame had ripped him to shreds.

Mia hadn’t blamed him, but she couldn’t get past the circumstance, and they’d ended things. They’d been on the rocks for weeks before the incident and the accident was just the final breaking point. From that moment on, Shane knew he’d never allow anyone else to rely on him like that. He’d screwed up bigtime and if it happened again, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

He still hadn’t forgiven himself for Mia.

“Hey,” Kagan said, her voice soft and low. “Want some company?”

Shane blinked away his memories and took stock of where he stood. Alone by the deck railing, he moved his faraway gaze from the deep-blue sea rippling against the warm breeze and fell into Kagan’s brilliant green eyes instead.

“Absolutely. How was the tour?”

“Educational.”

He scratched the side of his head. “How so?”

“Well, I learned even more new things about you, Shane Sullivan. My favorite piece of info is that you’re a softie.” She tilted her head and the corners of her lush lips lifted a fraction. Her pretty complexion brightened underneath the mid-day sun.

“Jelly Belly, there is nothing soft about me.” And he wanted to prove it to her. Over and over again in his bed, on the kitchen table, against the wall. In her shower with the candles burning.

“I beg to differ. Your mom told me about the time you snuck Sela out of the house after she’d been told she was too young to ride her bike to Crem’s. You rode your bike with her so she could get a chocolate-chocolate chip cupcake.” The little smile that played across her lips widened. “When you two snuck back in,
you
were too young to notice the evidence all over your sister’s shirt.”

Shane laughed, grateful to Kagan for helping him remember something much happier than his regrets with Mia. “What about you? Any brothers or sisters?”

“No. Just me.” She looked down at her feet.

Her toes were painted pink with a tiny white flower etched on each big toe. So it was just her and her dad. She hadn’t wanted to talk about her mom earlier, but a crushing desire to know more had him opening his mouth.

“Your mom. Was she sick?”

Kagan leaned her back against the railing and closed her eyes.

Shane took the opportunity to move a little closer, stare a little harder. She sucked in her bottom lip. The pink in her cheeks paled. “No. It happened out of the blue.” Her lids lifted, but her gaze remained somewhere on the wood deck. “We were at home. It was a Sunday morning. Mom had made French toast for breakfast. She shooed Dad and me out of the kitchen when we were done so I could finish beating him at Scrabble. A few minutes later we heard a noise. A
thump.
Dad called out to Mom and when she didn’t answer he got up. I followed him back to the kitchen.”

She let out a shaky breath. “She’d died instantly from a brain tumor.”

Shane took Kagan in his arms. Words got jammed in his throat. But this—holding her and stroking her hair, letting her body deflate against his—this he could do. This he
wanted
to do.

“Thanks for telling me,” he said. He should walk away from her and the growing feelings he had little control to stop. He was bound to hurt her.

But he wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t.

“You make it impossible not to share with you.” She lifted away from his chest and a pair of absurdly beautiful eyes struck him with awe. “It’s like you’ve got a direct link to my blather button. It’s really annoying.”

“I think you mean charming.”

“No. I definitely mean annoying.”

“Pain in the butt is part of his charm,” Sela said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Shane grinned and knew it’d worked its magic on Kagan because she rewarded him with a hard-fought smile that pulled her lips up in a most distracting way.

“Now come get something to eat,” Sela added.

He took Kagan’s hand, and they joined the others. A few minutes later, his plate loaded with chicken and shrimp, corn on the cob, and his mom’s famous coleslaw salad, he sat next to Kagan on one of the cushioned lounge chairs. Sela, Luke, and Erin took seats around them. Luke’s parents and a few other friends of his mom and dad’s sat at the large wood-slatted table.

The warm sea air mingled with the scent of good food and…lavender. Shane nuzzled Kagan’s neck so he could take a whiff of her skin.

She giggled.
“Stop.”
She lifted her shoulder to her ear.

“How’s your hand, Erin?” Kagan asked, forking a shrimp.

“It’s good. Troy came over this morning and fixed it up. Tomorrow I’ll ditch the wrap job for a bandage. The injury did get me mentioned on Cascade’s blog today.” She took quick stock of her palm, turning her hand over. “You guys, though, were front and center.”

Shane exchanged a quick glance with Kagan. “Meaning?” he asked. He rarely read the blog.

“Meaning you two are not only the new ‘It’ couple, but you’re heroes. And there’s a new poll. You should go vote. I did.”

Luke cracked up. “Looks like we’re no longer the top story.” He put his arm around Sela.

“Thank God,” Sela said.

Kagan stiffened. Shane wanted to tell her not to worry about the publicity. Having the town back them up as a couple would help get her message across to Brett.

“What’s the poll ask? Please tell me it doesn’t say Love Bug anywhere?” Shane asked, referencing the poll a couple months back about his sister and Luke. He scooted until his hip brushed Kagan’s. Then he drew squiggly lines on her back with his finger and felt her relax.

“‘Will Kagan Owens capture Shane Sullivan’s heart for good by the Fall Fling?’ Right now the vote is leaning toward yes.”

Okay, maybe this blog shit wasn’t the best idea. Shane’s heart wasn’t available. Not by a long shot. He liked Kagan—a little too much, probably. That’s why he’d decided to stick with her boyfriend plan. Plus, he didn’t quit. Ever. Giving up equaled weakness, and he wasn’t some fragile guy who couldn’t handle helping a friend.

By the way Kagan’s back tightened, he guessed she didn’t want his heart either. She’d always made it clear they were just friends. Only, he’d caught glimpses of a different side to her lately, hadn’t he? A more seductive, maybe-one-tumble-in-the-sheets-wouldn’t-be-so-bad side. Danger bells went off in his head. He’d had friends with benefits before. But he and Kagan didn’t have that type of relationship. Friendship with her was different than his friendships with other women.

“Hey everyone!”

Shane turned. Luke’s sister Vanessa and her husband Hayden strolled onto the deck. Sela jumped up and greeted her best friend.

Talk turned away from the blog after that and for the next hour everything from Vanessa’s pregnancy to the best way to eat marshmallows came up for discussion.

“You almost burned down the kitchen making that,” Sela said, leaning back against Luke’s chest.

“Best sandwich ever,” Shane said, ignoring the accusation.

“Marshmallow and buttered toast.” Kagan contemplated the combination. “I think I’ll have to try that sometime.”

“How about now?” Shane jumped to his feet. He’d had enough group time and wanted to get Kagan alone for a little while. With his folks and their friends out for a walk on the sand, he’d get it in the kitchen.

Kagan took his hand. “Sure.”

“Bring me out one,” Sela called after them.

“You ready to be amazed?” Shane loved the way Kagan’s hand fit inside his, how peace wove a path inside him whenever her fingers touched his.

“I’m not sure marshmallows are on my list of amazing, but I’m willing to give it a shot.”

“Oh, they’re going to top your list after you have one of mine.”

“Who taught you to make them?” She let go of his hand and moved toward the kitchen island.

He grabbed her around the waist. “Not so fast. I need your help.” He didn’t really, but having her across the kitchen didn’t work for him. “And I taught myself.”

She fell against him without argument. “Ah, so Sela wasn’t just giving you a hard time.” Her eyes alighted with amusement.

“You think that’s cute, don’t you?” He positioned her against the counter and trapped her between his arms.

“I think puppies are cute.” Her gaze flicked to his mouth.

Did she want him to kiss her? He got the vibe she did. And he wanted to kiss her, really kiss her this time. Cup the back of her head. Touch lips. Slowly bring her closer until she responded and pressed against him. Nibble, tease, take pleasure from soft caresses before he coaxed her lips apart and fed from the sweetness of her mouth.

“Do you wear contacts?” he asked instead.

Her brows knit together. “Do you wear a watch?”

He smirked. “Was just trying to puzzle out the eyeglasses you sometimes wear.”

“I thought you brought me in here to cook.” She brushed something off his shirt pocket. “Crumb or something.”

Ten, maybe twelve inches were all that separated their lips. He only needed to lean down to taste. To see if reality lived up to his fantasies. He had little doubt it wouldn’t, so he pulled back. If he went down that road, there would be no turning back.

“First thing we need are the marshmallows.” He opened the pantry and moved a couple of items around on the top shelf to find the bag his mom always kept on hand. “Next up, bread.”

Kagan turned and picked a couple of loaves up off the counter. “White or wheat?”

“Wheat.” He went to the stainless steel fridge and found the butter.

“Ready,” she said.

Shane came up beside her. She had four slices of wheat ready to go. He cut a few pieces off the butter square and covered the bread, then popped them in the toaster oven.

“In that drawer there should be some metal skewers,” Shane said, nodding to Kagan’s right.

She pulled out a pair and Shane had two large marshmallows ready for each. Next, they cooked them over a flame on the gas stove. “I like mine really charred,” she said.

“Me too.”

The toaster
dinged
. They sandwiched their well-done marshmallows between two slices of buttery bread.

“This smells amaz—” She stopped like she didn’t want to admit Shane was right about his creation.

“Sorry?” He couldn’t resist a gentle tease. “I didn’t catch that.” Shane pulled her hand away. Melted butter ran down her finger.

He brought their joined hands to his mouth and licked her knuckle. Slowly. Carefully. She watched, her lips parted just a bit.

“Hmm?” Eyes still on his task, she gravitated closer.

Butter gone, he slid his bottom lip back and forth along the side of her pinky. His print. He wanted his print on her. Everywhere. Lips, tongue, fingertips, until she didn’t remember any other man’s touch.

“Amazing,” he said.
You are amazing.
“I think you were about to say that.”

She blinked and looked down at the counter, then quickly withdrew her hand and picked up her sandwich. “I’ll need a taste before I confirm anything.”

Whatever just spooked her, Shane gave silent thanks. Being turned on in his parents’ kitchen with friends and family fifty feet away couldn’t be more stupid. “On three?” he said.

Kagan nodded, and they took the first bite together.

Her moan had him smiling mid-way to his second bite. “Okay, you’re right.” She peeked at him out of the corner of her eye.

“Usually am.” He reached for a paper towel and handed her one. Before grad school, lots of girls had stood in this kitchen with him. But none had leaned against the granite countertop eating marshmallow butter sandwiches, tying his stomach in a knot.

“I’m sure you think you are.”

“Attitude is everything.”

“What happens when someone else’s perspective trips you up?”

He didn’t get tripped up. At work he planned meticulously and didn’t run at the mouth. He studied his clients and knew the best approach to a successful working relationship. His team always got the benefit of the doubt, but not at the cost of client satisfaction. He stayed organized, firm in his wishes, knew the ropes, and maintained focus.