Her Counterfeit Husband (13 page)

“Y
ou want to what?” Anna asked at breakfast the next
morning,
the watermelon halfway to her mouth.

“Get married again,” Watkins
replied before biting into his eggs.

She
glanced around the room, conscious that the servants were watching them.  None of them gave any indication
as to
what they thought of his odd statement.  Forcing her gaze to his, she cleared her throat.  “We should discuss this when we’re alone.” Despite the awkward moment, she ate the watermelon and managed to swallow it without incident.

“Oh.”

Startled by the disappointment in his voice, she turned her gaze back to his.  Perhaps a change in
topic might eas
e things
.  “Do you feel like going for a horse ride today?”

He shook his head.  “No.”

“But don’t you want to learn?  Riding a horse is something gentlemen often do.”

“Maybe some gentlemen do it.”

Curious by his hesitation, she pressed, “But not you?”

He ate another forkful of eggs and shrugged.  “Is it a requirement that all gentlemen ride them?”

Gripping the fork in her hand, she struggle
d
for the best response she could come up with.  He was taking the place of a gentleman who went horseback riding almost every day.  The fact that he didn’t seem to care for it marked yet another difference between
him and her husband
, and she didn’t know how much she could keep expecting people to believe he was the same person she and Appleton buried.  Surely, even if a gentleman lost his memory, he should maintain most of the same interests he had before.

After
careful consideration, she ventured, “I’ll tell you what.  I’ll discuss the matter of a,” she glanced at the servants and lowered her voice, “
a
wedding while we ride horses.”

He frowned, not seeming happy with the bargain but nodding.  “All right.”

Relieved, she offered him a tentative smile.  There.  That was simple enough.  The only reason Watkins didn’t like the idea of riding a horse was because he hadn’t done it.  Or, if he had done it in the past, he didn’t remember how much he enjoyed it.  Surely, he enjoyed it.  All gentlemen enjoyed riding horses.

When breakfast was over, she went to her bedchamber and allowed her
lady’s
maid to change her outfit.

“Your G
race, you’ve lost some weight since
you last went riding,” she said.  “I’ll have the seamstress make the necessary adjustments so your next rid
e will be
more comfortable.”

Though Anna had no intention of riding again unless she had to, she nodded.  She didn’t care for the activity herself,
but her love went to music where she immersed herself in
daydreams the songs provoked as she played the piano
.  On occasion, she’d compose a short piece and play it, but more often than not, she was content to enjoy the melodies
compos
e
r
s far greater than she
had created.

Once her lady
’s
maid pulled her hair back and secured them with pins, she thanked her and
left the room
.  On her way
down the hall
, she passed Watkins’ be
dchamber and jerked
when the do
or opened.  She noted the way her husband’s riding clothes fit perfectly on him,
and for a moment, it truly seemed as if her husband had come back to life.  The blood
drained from her face.

I
n an effort to cover up
her reaction, s
he let out a nervous laugh and placed her hand over her pounding heart.  “I didn’t expect you to open the door as I was passing by,” she quickly said, hoping he wouldn’t suspect more than that.

“This doesn’t feel right,” he replied, glancing at his riding outfit.  “I can’t explain it, but the clothes feel too restrictive.”

“Do they?  They don’t look tight
on you.”

“That’s not what I meant.  I…” He shrugged.  “I’m not sure how to explain it.  It seems too formal.”

His comment made her wonder—for the first time—what his life had been like before he lost his memory.  She knew he didn’t have a
title, and to be honest, s
he didn’t even think he was part of the middle class.

“The sooner w
e do this, the sooner we can
discuss a wedding,” he said but stopped before he took his first step toward the stairs.   “That is, unless you’d rather discuss it over a cup of tea or a relaxing walk?”

Ignoring the hopeful grin on his face, she headed for the staircase.  As she assumed, he followed her.  It was yet another small difference between him and the gentleman she’d buried. 
Watkins would compromise with her.  He would listen to her and take her thoughts into consideration.  He wouldn’t force his will upon her or punish her for disagreeing with him.

She slowed her steps and waited for him so they
could
finish
going down the
stairs together.
  “You don’t need to be so nervous about r
iding a horse.  It’s easy
.”

“If you say so…”

She glanced at him to see if he’d continue the thought, but he didn’
t.  Sure
that
he’d feel better once he was on the horse, she led him out to the stable.  Once
the stable
master
and stableboy
turned to them, she
told them
to get their horses ready and quietl
y waited next to
Watkins as they
performed the task.

Watkins shifted from one foot to the other, and it took her a few seconds to realize that he
dreaded
ridin
g the horse.  She knew he’d be
anx
ious, but she had no idea he’d be
scared.  She studied his profile, noting the tightening of his brow and the way he swallowed the lump in his throat.  Her gaze lowered, and she saw
him clench and unclench the gloves in his hand
s
.
  Looking back at the stable
master, she watched as he and the stableboy finished saddling the horses.

As the stable
master and stableboy led the horses to them, she whispered, “
It’ll be all right,” but Watkins
didn’t bother to acknowledge he heard her.

The stableboy helped her onto her
horse, and as soon as she settled into the sidesaddle, she checked on Watkins’ progress.  She frowned.  Watkins no longer looked scared.  Now he looked
terrified
.

“
I can help you onto the horse, Your G
race,” the stable
master told him.

Watkins f
inally glanced in her direction, and h
er heart went out to him.  Never did
anyone try
so hard to please her.  She sighed.  Pe
rhaps today
wasn’t the t
ime to force him into riding his
horse.  She cleared her throat to get the stable
master’
s attention
.  The stable
master turned
his head in her direction, and the horse took a step toward Watkins, neighing as it did so.  To her surprise, Watkins cried out and stumbled back.  He proceeded to lose his footing and fell on the stable floor.

The
stable
master and stableboy
hurried to help him up.  “Your G
race,” the stable
master said as
he brought him to his feet, “a
re you all right?”

Anna quickly got down from her hors
e and went over to them.  “His G
race must not be feeling well today.” She handed the
stableboy the reins to her horse and turned to Watkins.  Removing her gloves, she touched his face, and though she already knew it would be cool, she
said,
“Thank goodness.  No fever. 
I feared he might be getting ill again. 
I suppose we ought to take it easy.  Maybe we’ll go for a ride another day.”

Watkins glanced from the horse to her, his breathing faster than normal and sweat covering his brow.  Thankfully, the stable
master and stableboy were already
unsaddling the horses, so they were distracted.  She slipped her arm around Watkins’ and led him out of the stable, eager to get him away from prying eyes.  Never in all the times she’d known her husband did he show any kind of fear.  God willing, the servants wouldn’t think it strange that Watkins could be easily startled by something as simple as a horse.

Once
they were down the path leading to the fountain, she relaxed.  “What did
the horse do that spooked you
?”

“I-I don’t know,” Watkins muttered, not looking at her.

She struggl
ed for something suitable to ask
, something that might give her insight into why a horse should scare him.  It had to be something to do with his past. 
“What were you thinking when you saw the horse coming toward you?”

“I didn’t think anything.  I just wanted to get out of its way.”

“Out of its way?” That didn’t make any sense since the horse hadn’t been threatening him.

“I can’t explain it.  I just knew it wasn’t safe.”

She considered his words and wondered if he fell off a horse while going through the forest, but t
hat didn’t make sense since he’d
suffered injuries that only a
nother human being could inflict on him
.  No.  Whatever it was about the horse that scared him had nothing to do with the incident that led
to him ending up in the forest.

They reached the bench by the fountain and sat down.  At least his breathing had returned to normal
and his face wasn’t pale.  G
etting away from the horse was a good thing in that regard, but it did little good when she thought of how difficult it’d be to explain why her husband no longer loved horses.  Had her husband fallen off a horse, her
task would be much easier
.

She stared at the fountain for a long moment before asking, “Would you be willing to walk the horse?”

“Walk the horse?”

“Just hold onto the reins and lead it around.  You don’t have to ride it.”

“You want me to do this today?”

“No.” She understood by the way
he squeaked the question
that he was in no shape to do it today.  “I was thinking in a week.  In the meantime, we can make several trips out to the stable, and you can get to know your horse.”

He fidgeted uneasily on the bench.  “I’d rather not.  I have no desire to know any horse.”

Her heart plummeted.  Short of forcing him out to the stable against his will, she had no idea how she was going to convince him to get over his fear of horses.

He turned to her and smiled.  “
This is a bad way to start talk of our wedding, isn’t it?”

Refusing to meet his gaze, she shook he
r head.  “It’s unnecessary.  We’re already married.  Everyone was there.  Your being sick changes none of it.” The lie was a bitter pill to swallow, but she had to say it.  Under no circum
stance
could she admit the truth.

“Maybe I was there, but I don’t remember it.”

She looked away from him so he wouldn’t pick up on her wince.  It was getting harder and harder to hide her feelings around him.  And that terrified her because she knew what it meant.  God help her but she wasn’t as strong as she
wanted to be
.

He sighed.  “Why do you continue to pull away from me? If we are husband and wife, aren’t we supposed to
become closer
?”

She shook her head and turned to face him, silently pleading with him to understand, even when she knew deep down, he couldn’t.  Her only hope was that he’d relent
.
  “It’s not that easy.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.  You yourself should understand that.  You couldn’t get on a horse today, but you have no idea why.  So can’t you accept
the fact that
I can’t marry you again?”

The first emotion to flicker across
his face was hurt.  The second was anger.  She held her breath
and waited for him to respond.  T
he cold hand of
fear wrapped
its way through her body as she recalled the times her husb
and had looked at her in anger…
and what happened to her afterwards.

“I don’t understand why I need to walk a horse around so I can eventually ride it while you don’t have to at least explain to me why you refuse to marry me again,” he said.