Her Counterfeit Husband (17 page)

Jason recalled the papers
but
said, “We can do that another day.” They reached the stable and he handed the reins
to the stable
master,
relieved the ord
eal with the horse and Mason were
finally over, at least for now.  “I must go back to the house.”

“Oh, then I should join you.  Perhaps we can share a glass of brandy?  You never turn down a glass of brandy.”

He
removed his ridin
g gloves.  “Maybe next time.  I think I’ll rest for a while.”

“Rest?  After a walk?”

“It was a long walk.” And there was more truth to that than Mason would understand.  He didn’t think the ordeal with the horse would ever end.  “It was a pleasure to see you again.” He gave the obligatory bow and waited for Mason to return the farewell with a nod before he headed for the
manor
.

A
nna tapped the window, watching as Watkins bowed to Lord
Mason and stepped away from the stable
.  She would have given anything to know what the two had
just
discussed.
  The distance betwee
n her and the two gentlemen was
too great for her to
see
their faces.  If she could, their expressions might clue her in to whether their conversation had been pleasant or not.

Someone cleared his throat, so she turned from the window
.
Appleton set a tray of tea on the table.  “Are you feeling wel
l, Your G
race?”

“I’ll be fine.” She went to the settee and poured the tea into her cup.  “Do you want some?”

“No, Your G
race.” He waited until she took a sip of the tea before he added,
“I can’t help but notice you
seem unhappy
.  Is there something about His G
race that I should know?”

Catching his meaning, she shook her head.  “He’s done nothing to hurt me.  In fact, he’s the kindest gentleman I’ve ever met, besides you.”

“Ah, I think I understand the
conflict.  He’s an easy person to like.”

“Too easy.” Her throat constricted on the confession.  Up to now, she’d kept her swirling emotions from him, but now they were screaming for attention.  “I don’t like it.”

With a chuckle, he asked, “Why not?”

“I think you know the answer to that,” she whispered, afraid to speak the words.

“If it ease
s your mind, I’ve seen the way His G
race looks at you, and a person would have to be blind not to see that he cares for you very much.  I dare say he might even love you.”

She forced down another sip of tea, blinking back her tears.  “Yes, that’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Why is it something you should fear?”

“Because it wasn’t supposed to be like this.  He was supposed to fill a role, nothing more.”

Sighing, he sat across from her and turned his tender eyes her way.  “
You were miserable with your husband
.  There was a time when y
ou wanted so
desperately to find a way out
of the marriage
that
you tried to take your own life.”

She settled the cup in her lap, her gaze settling on the scars at her wrists, forever a reminder of the lowest point in her life.

“Don’t you owe it to yourself to find what little happiness life has to offer?” Appleton softly asked.  “There’s so much sorrow in the world, why turn your back on the chance to experience joy?”

A tear slid down her cheek, but she didn’t brush it away.  “I don’t deserve him.  I’ve b
een lying to him all this time.  He wants to get ma
rried so he can have the memory
of our wedding
, but it’d be another lie because we wouldn’t be getting married again.”

“No, you wouldn’t
be getting married again
.  You’d be marrying him for the first time, but isn’t that in your best interest?  Wouldn’t it set your mind at ease to know he’s really your husband?
Then that would be one lie you wouldn’t have to live with anymore.
”

She shook he
r head and took another sip of
the tea.  “I don’t feel like reading the Banns and waiting for someone to object before the priest would marry us, if he’d even agree to do it.  I don’t think Lord Mason will sit by
and let the marriage happen
.  I think he’d suspect something was wrong
.
”

“You don’t have to make it a formal event.”

“
You think I should consider a special license?”

“Or you could make a trip to Gretna Green
,” Appleton quietly suggested.
  “Then he would have a memory of the wedding
.  Granted, it would be a simple affair, but you will exchange vows with
him.  Lord Mason doesn’t need to know.  An
d it’d offer you the security of
knowing you are truly married t
o him
.”

She sighed.  He made several good points, but if she married Watkins, she’d be getting too close to him.  Right now knowing he wasn’t really her husband was the only safe thing she had to hold onto.  “I can’t,” she whispered.

She expected him to protest, but he didn’t so she finished the rest of her tea and set the cup on the tray.  Footsteps
crossing the threshold alerted her to Watkins’ presence in the room.  Eager to find out what Lord Mason told him, she rose to her f
eet and approached him.  “Your G
race, is all well?”

Watkins’ gaze went to Appleton before settling on her.  “Yes.  I managed fine with the horse.”

That wasn’t what she me
an
t, but she didn’t think it was wise to question him about Lord Mason until they were alone.  “Would you like some tea?  It’s got a dash of peppermint in it.”

“No, not right now.” He glanced at Appleton again.  “
I think we should take a walk.  I’ll wait here while you change into a suitable dress.”

It took her a moment to understand
he was dismissing her.  Her
eyes widened when she realized
he wanted to talk to Appleton alone.  She loo
ked at Appleton who stood by his chair,
quietly waiting for their instructions.  Appleton would never betray
her
.  The secret burial of her husband would die with him.  Turning back to Watkins, she nodded.  “I’ll return shortly.” With nothing else to say, she left the room.

***

Jason waited until Anna was climbing the stairs before he softly closed the door to the drawing room.  He turned his attention to Appleton and crossed the room until he was standing in front of the butler.  “There is something I’ve been meaning to ask you, and I require you to be frank with me, even if you know I won’t like the answer.”

Appleton’s expression remained impassive, giving no indication if Jason’s solemn tone worried him
or not
.  “What is it, Your G
race?”

“I notice that you and my wife are close, closer than it
seems a butler and Her G
race should be.”

Appleton’s eyes lit up with understanding.  “Oh, you mean to inquire about my relationship with
her?”

He nodded.

“
You have no need to worry, Your G
race.  I think of her
as a daughter, nothing more.
”

Relieved, he relaxed.  “May I ask how such a relationship came to be?”

“When you married Her G
race, things were different from the way they are now.  There were times when it was best if she wasn’t alone with you.  I learned to always be nearby in case she needed help.”

“
In case she needed help.  You mean, in case she needed
y
our
help?”

“I’d rather not go into details about the past.  It’s not pertinent to how thin
gs are with you and her today.”

“If it’s my past, I have a right to know what happened.”

After a moment of silence, Appleton slowly said,
“Suffice it to say, alcohol gave you a terrible temper, and if you weren’t happy, you had a tendency to take it out on her.”

The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. 
“How bad was I?” he softly asked, afraid of the answer even as he needed to know it.

“Let’s just say she wouldn’t be here today if I hadn’t caught her late one night at the gazebo.”

“Gazebo?  There’
s no gazebo on these grounds.”

“Not after I had it burned
, Your G
race.  It was the
one place
where she sought comfort.  On one
particular night, I was returning from the stable and thought I saw someone in the gazebo.  I ex
pected an intruder, but it was Her G
race and there was blood running down her hands.”

“
Blood?
”
Jason swallowed and squeaked ou
t, “Did I stab her?”

“No, but
she had bruises
.
  I didn’t realize it until after
I carried her to the house and wrapped her wrists.  She didn’t angle the blade right, and that was to her advantage since it’s why she didn’t die that night.  After that, I stayed by her side.  It didn’t happen again.”

Jason collapsed in
to
the nearest chair, sure he was going to be sick as it occurred to him what kind of person he’d been.  No wonder Anna didn’t want to talk
about the past
, and no wonder she didn’t want to marry him again.  It was a marvel that she wanted to spend any time with him at all.

“Your G
race,” Appleton began, once again choosing his words carefully, “I wouldn’t hesitate to leave you alone with her.  You’re not the same gentleman.”

Head bowed, Jason
didn’t respond
.  How could he do something like that?  He didn’t think he had it in him
to
be violen
t that way, especially to someone
as sweet as his Anna.

“Is there anything else you require?” Appleton softly asked.

He shook his head, relieved when Appleton left the room.  He didn’t know how he could face Anna after everything he’d just learned.
He placed his face in his hands and tried to
think of a way—any way at all—he could
rectify the damage he’d done.

The door creaked open, and he looked up in time to see Anna enter the room.

Without thinking, he fell to his knees in front of her and took her hands in his.  “Anna, I don’t know what to say.  Appleton just told me the truth.”

The color drained from her face.  “He…
he…
what?”

“Will you forgive me?”

H
er eyebrows furrowed.  “Forgive you?”

“I am so sorry.” Unable to maintain eye contact with her anymore, he lowered his head and swallowed the lump in his throat.  “I was a brute, a loathsome creature.  I readily admit it.  If I could go back and undo the damage I’v
e done, I’d give my life to
do it.  Appleton told me about
the way I was, how I hit you
, why you tried to end your life…  I don’t deserve a second chance, but if you’d grant me one, I promise I’ll never be harsh with you again.”

“Please
stop,” Anna
finally said and pulled her hands out of his.

He couldn’t blame her.  His apology came too late.  There was no way she was going to open herself to him again.  He should be glad she’d even be willing to talk to him.

After she closed the door, she returned to him an
d leaned over him.  “Stand up, Your G
race.  You have nothing to be sorry about.”