Her Gentle Giant: No Regrets (26 page)

Rachel was the best convalescing patient
ever
, even when she thought the process would drive her crazy. She spent a little time every day moving around, pushing herself to do things when she could do it in safety while her mom hovered nearby. She did not want to elongate her stay at home.

A week into her recovery, she could no longer stand the thought of the work piling up at her job and called Mr. Grogan. Bernice put her on hold, and after a minute, he came on the line.

“Young lady, you may not return to work.”

“But—”

“I’m sitting at your desk right now. The bills that need paying are getting paid, anything else pressing is coming directly to me. The other stuff you can catch up on when you come back. Get your butt back in bed and get better.” Rachel could hear him chuckling as she gasped in surprise, and then she did something very uncharacteristic as she made a face at her phone and blew a raspberry at it.

She put the phone back to her ear in time to hear him say, “I heard that.

Now, see? I told you that you’d fit in just fine around here.”

“But you could send me everything electronically. I can do that from bed.”

“But that’s not restful or healthy, now is it?”

“I’m bored!”

Thorne chuckled deeply. “Tough shit, sweetheart. We miss you around here. You kind of ‘class’ the place up a bit. But I don’t want to see you here or have you working for at least another three weeks. That’s what your doctor says, right?”

Begrudgingly she replied, “Yes, how did you—”

“A little bird told me.” She looked at her phone and stuck her tongue out at it then put it back to her ear in time to hear him say, “So there you have it,
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sweetheart. Rest and heal, and we’ll throw you a party when you come back.

In
three weeks
.”

“I like working. I’m not a baby.”

“I know. You should work on that book you’re writing instead of pestering your poor old boss. Three weeks, not a moment sooner.”

She set up her laptop and spent time each day working on her manuscript. In a way, the accident had provided her an opportunity to work on it consistently. Writing helped to pass the time.

Eli often spent his evenings off at the Lopez ranch and came to visit her in the afternoons, on the nights he had to work at The Pony. Her parents never tired of his visits and always seemed curious about his work and his plans. Her father was especially observant of Eli, and she wondered what was going through his head when he watched Eli and the way he was around her. She was glad to see they had become friends. Several times she’d observed them deep in conversation and wondered what they found to talk about.

Her mother’s eyes always twinkled when Eli was around. She quickly found out what his favorite foods were and cooked them for him. She approved of the way he treated Rachel and always made a point of complimenting his manners and personality to Rachel. Mike and Rogelio came to visit her, and, of course, she saw Grace or talked to her on the phone almost daily. That helped because Rachel always laughed when she talked with Grace.

Her one difficulty regarding her recuperation was sleeping. She struggled with insomnia and nightmares of the accident, but she refused to take sleeping pills. She dreamed of being trapped and unable to talk or get out of the car, of being in pain and not being able to move. One time, she even dreamed she was the doe being chased and struck by the SUV. She always woke bathed in sweat, sometimes screaming, which scared the crap out of her poor parents.

Once she had the nightmare, she had a hard time falling back to sleep.

Some nights she wasn’t troubled by bad dreams, but she still couldn’t fall asleep, her mind filled with thoughts of Eli. She didn’t worry about him on the job. She just missed him. Eli was having trouble sleeping, too, because he’d told her about it one night when she mentioned that he looked tired. He told her he needed her, that was all. Her heart felt full at his words.

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She would lay there in the dark and remember what it felt like when he surrounded her with his big, strong arms and cuddled her against his broad chest and she used his biceps as her pillow. Sometimes she’d go for full-on torture and think about making love with him, clinging to his warmth as he slid his stiff cock into her and stroked her to a hot, moaning orgasm. If she fell asleep thinking of those times, she woke with her body clamoring for his, wet and ready. Once she woke as an orgasm inspired by her dream washed over her, but it felt unsatisfying when she realized she was alone with no warm arms to hold her and help her come down from it.

By the fourth week, she was getting around much better but had dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. Her mom came to her and sat down at the kitchen table with a bottle of Tylenol PM. She showed her the label. Non-addicting.

Her mother tapped the bottle on the table. “I talked to your doctor.

You’ll take these tonight, tomorrow night, and the next night. You’ve got to get some sleep, or you’ll never fully recover, sweetheart. I think Eli is what you need now, not more sitting around,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

“Be a good girl and do as I say, and I’ll help you pack on Friday and take you to your duplex.”

Rachel grinned and said cheekily, “Tonight, tomorrow night, and you take me home on Thursday. I want to surprise Eli, so don’t say anything to him tonight when he comes over.”

Her mom tried to hide her smile with a grimace. “Always negotiating. I think we should tell him.”

“No, I want to surprise him. Please?”

“
All right
. Take one now and go lie down for a nap. It’s early enough, and I’ll wake you so you don’t sleep too long.” She handed Rachel a tablet and a glass of water. Rachel smiled and took it obediently, excited at this development. Restlessness had plagued her the last few days and she knew that was because she was getting better. Rachel knew she needed Eli if she wanted to sleep. She knew he needed her, too.

She did succeed in taking a nap that morning and then applied herself into completing the novel. Wednesday night, they all watched a movie together. After taking her Tylenol PM, she laid her head in his lap, and she fell asleep twenty minutes into the movie. She woke a bit as he carried her
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gently in his arms to her room and tucked her in after sliding her slippers off her feet. She turned to him half asleep as he kissed her cheeks.

* * * *

Thursday morning, Rachel watched her mom close the backdoor on the Escalade her dad had given her as an anniversary gift a few months before.

“Grab your laptop, Rachel. I have everything else loaded. Do you need to check and make sure you haven’t forgotten anything?”

Rachel stood in the doorway. Three weeks ago, the laptop had felt like it weighed a ton. Now, she could lift it in its carrying case with hardly any effort.

“No, I already have. Let’s go.”

Her mom chuckled as Rachel carefully climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Aren’t you an eager beaver? I already stocked your kitchen with groceries, and I’ve packed some things I cooked for you, so all you’ll have to do is reheat food in the microwave. It can all go in the freezer, so you should have enough to last a week, at least.” As her mom drove down the long drive way, she looked over at Rachel and patted her thigh. “You’ll call me if you need me, right?”

“Of course, Mom.”

“I know Eli will take excellent care of you, but you can call me during the day if you need me while he’s at work.”

“Thanks, Mom, for taking such good care of me. I’m glad you like Eli so much. It means a lot to me.”

“Well, I see how happy he makes you and that he loves you, too.”

While her mom got her unpacked and settled, Rachel took a warm shower and washed her hair. She slipped into a fresh pair of pajamas and settled into her bed, a little strung out from the move and the excitement of being home. Her mom talked her into taking another Tylenol PM and kissed her cheek. She brought Rachel her cell phone in case she needed it and let herself out, locking up behind her. Rachel cuddled up to her pillows and fell asleep.

A noise woke her later, and she sat up, feeling disoriented. The sun was gone from her bedroom window, and she realized she must have slept into the afternoon. She heard the sound again and realized what it was. Eli must
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be home because the noise that woke her was the sound of a Harley pulling into the driveway.

She stretched carefully, testing how she felt, and smiled at the butterflies in her stomach. Even though she wasn’t medically released for

“extracurricular activities” like sex yet, she was giddy at the thought of being alone with Eli. Two more weeks, the doctor had said. Torture. That’s what she thought of his recommendation. She’d be surprised if they made it two more weeks without attacking each other. It’d been easy at her parents’

house because they were never alone, but she was feeling better now, and they were
so
blessedly alone.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door slamming on the other side of the duplex. Dang. She’d never noticed that before. The walls were—thin. The blood ran cold in her veins as a muffled male laugh came through the wall, followed by a feminine giggle. She fell flat on her back as the adrenaline rush slammed into her. She turned on her side, intending to go see what the hell was going on over there.

Before she could pull on her robe and slippers, she
knew
exactly what was going on next door. Gooseflesh covered her skin as she listened to the unmistakable sounds of boisterous fucking coming from Eli’s side of the duplex. She tried to stand, but the strength had left her legs.

The sounds of female arousal, begging to be fucked, even the sound of a loud slap and a moan were clear and unmistakable. Even with her hands over her ears, she could hear the joyous sound of a woman getting her brains fucked out. Rachel listened, utterly mystified and hurt. She couldn’t believe she was listening to Eli fucking another woman. Filled with confusion, she couldn’t reconcile this with his solicitous behavior at her parents’ house.

Rachel lay there listening as the pace of the noise next door increased in tempo. She heard loud moans and wailing as Eli evidently satisfied the fuck out of the woman he was screwing and then a loud yell as he got off, too.

She curled on her side as it grew quiet next door except for a giggle now and then.

Pain lanced through her from her injuries, and she knew she must have been tensing up too much. She lay there
praying
that they were finished.

She’d give herself a few minutes to recover and then call her mother to come get her and take her back home.

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No, she couldn’t do that. She had a place of her own now. She couldn’t run home to Mommy and Daddy even though that was what she wanted to do. She’d screwed up royally taking a place right next door to Eli. Now she’d lose her deposit when she moved for breaking the lease agreement.

This was one gigantic fucking mess. Had this been going on the whole time she had been at her parents’? He must have gotten tired of going without sex and one of those sluts at the club had seized her opportunity.

Better to know this now before her heart was fully committed.

What a dumbass.
Who am I kidding?

Her heart had been committed from the moment their eyes had locked across the dance floor. This was going to hurt, no matter how she candy-coated it or tried to rationalize it.

She pulled the pillow over her head and tried to calm her breathing and figure out what to do next because she couldn’t stay there. She’d make some calls in a few minutes and try to find a hotel room for the night and then start searching for a new place from there.

Rachel nearly came out of her skin when she felt a big hand on her arm.

“Angel? What’s the matter?” His soft voice sounded alarmed as he removed the pillow from her head.

* * * *

Eli knelt down at the side of her bed. Her hair was stuck to the damp trails of her tears, and her pillow was damp, too. How long had she been like that? A cold chill went through him at the stark pain in her eyes.

“Are you hurting? When was the last time you took a pain pill? Do you need one? Your mom called me. She knew you wanted to surprise me, but she started to worry and decided to call me and let me know you were here.”

She stared mutely at him, hers eyes full over misery and pain.

He whispered softly, “Angel? You’re scaring me here. What’s the matter?” He sat on the edge of the bed and helped her sit up carefully, but she inched away from him. Fresh tears tracked down her cheeks, and a fresh painful sob rasped hoarsely from her throat. The sound made his heart kick up a notch.

She stared at him as if she didn’t know him. Her brows knitted together when she looked into his eyes. Furiously, she swiped at the tears as he
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continued to stare at her, waiting for her to say something. She brushed her hair back. Eli became more baffled by the second as she looked at him coldly, her hands trembling. He was so
glad
to see her and ached to take her in his arms and fix whatever was troubling her, but she wouldn’t speak to him.

“Baby, what is it? Is it your throat? Are you in pain?” He gently grasped her upper arms and pulled her to his chest as her body began to shake, racked with soundless sobs. He felt tears in his own eyes at the pain and confusion he saw in hers. “
Angel
, please tell me what is wrong.”

Angrily, she pushed back from him and knocked his hands away, flinging herself violently to the other corner of the bed out of his reach. He stood and walked around the bed, frightened that she would re-injure herself.

He spoke softly to her to calm her, his heart breaking at the way her shoulders shook and the rasp of her soundless sobs in her chest. She held her hand protectively over the surgical site on her abdomen, really scaring him now. He held both palms up, trying to calm her. Clearly, touching her only upset her now.

“Angel, tell me
what’s wrong
. I came home right after your mom called me to let me know you were here. Has something happened?” She glanced at the denim work shirt and jeans he wore for his tower climbing work and seemed to become even more bewildered.

“I
heard
.”

“You heard what?”

“I heard
you
…and
her
,” she gasped, her voice vibrating with anguish.

“
Who
? I just got home. I came straight in here to check on you. Angel, tell me what’s wrong.”

Fresh tears overflowed her tumultuous, dark eyes, and she trembled as she repeated, “I heard you…and her. It’s no use, Eli. I
know
.” Her voice had all but deserted her. She hung her head and sobbed breathily.

“Baby, I’m confused, I—” he began, then paused and looked at the wall that adjoined his bedroom.

He let out a long groan because now they could
both
hear it. The unmistakable sound of a squeaking bed frame and a soft moan. He cringed as understanding dawned on him even as the bewilderment deepened in her
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eyes. She looked mystified as he shook his head and held up a finger, pulled out his phone, and dialed a number.

She looked on in bemusement as, through the wall, a cell phone rang.

The squeaking persisted for a moment before finally ceasing while Eli waited for an answer. He put his palm to his forehead as the easily identifiable voice answered the phone.

“Yeah, man.”

Eli suppressed a chuckle, thinking Mike sounded a little pissed.

“Hey, Mike. It’s Eli. I’m just checking in.”

Rachel put her hands to her red-hot face, and he watched as realization dawned on her who it was she’d heard having hot sex next door. He could not imagine how it must have felt to think it was him she was listening to.

“I’m going to be home in a few minutes and wanted to make sure the coast was clear.”

Mike’s voice was gravelly with frustration. “Oh, yeah. Um…we just got here a few minutes ago. How long do you think?”

“Maybe thirty or forty-five minutes.”

“Oh, that would be great.”

“Hey, Rachel’s coming home with me.”

“Oh, yeah? That’s good news. We’ll stop over there and bring you the key. We would have been long gone, man, but Rosa got called in to work this morning.”

“That’s fine, Mike. Don’t worry about it, man. I’m sorry you were delayed. See you, man.” Eli finished the call and slid the phone back into his pocket and held his arms out to her.

Holding her abdomen, she slipped from her perch on the bed, and he pulled her gently into his lap. As the squeaking of the bed next door resumed, he lifted her and carried her into the living room, pulling the bedroom door closed softly, and then sat down with her on the loveseat.

“I thought…” She laid her head weakly on his chest.

“I know,” he replied softly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.”

“Don’t be sorry. I should have explained before now. You know how tiny Mike and Rosa’s house is, right? They’ve got five kids and her mother living with them, complaining about every little thing. Mike was starting to
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look a little desperate, so I offered my place to them to…take the edge off, you know? They had no idea you were over here.”

She nodded and closed her eyes. Then she sat up and turned to him and said, “
Oh,
crap
! Kelly heard us when we made love while she was here, didn’t she? Oh, no!” She hid her red-hot face as Eli chuckled.

“Yep, but she handled it with her usual good humor. She teased me quite a bit when you weren’t within earshot, so don’t feel too bad for her.

Let me get you something to drink. You’re hoarse.”

“Thank you,” she whispered as she climbed from his lap and curled up, still looking tense. He brought her a glass of water, which she drained and set on the coffee table.

“Come here, angel.” She resumed her perch in his lap, and he caressed her shoulders. “You’re wound too tight. Lie back against me and let me hold you. Relax, I’ve got you,” he said as she laid her head against his chest. He pressed his lips to her hair and breathed in her clean womanly scent and the fragrance of her shampoo.

“I felt so weak earlier when they first got started. I couldn’t even stand up to walk away from the bedroom so I wouldn’t hear it anymore. Then, you came in looking so worried and concerned I thought I was losing my mind.”

She shuddered against him, and he gently wrapped his arms around her and held her snugly. “I’m not going to be able to look Mike or Rosa in the eye for a while.”

Eli chuckled while he rubbed his palm up and down her back soothingly. “Angel, now is not the most romantic time to tell you this because I can still hear them on the other side, but let me tell you anyway.

This love I have for you is
it
for me. There could never be anyone else that holds a candle to you. I felt so powerless when I thought of you hurt on the side of the road, maybe even dying, and I couldn’t get to you. I saw you when they unloaded you from the ambulance, baby, and I thought for sure I’d lost you. You were
bathed
in blood. I had to be held back.”

“Grace told me about that.” She quivered in his embrace.

“I thought I’d lost my one chance at a happy life. Being back in a hospital setting brought back painful memories and I felt like I was reliving them all over again as an adult.”

“Something like this happened to you before?” Rachel asked softly, her voice full of sympathy.

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“I told you my mom died. But I never told you how. I also never told you about my own experience in the hospital as a four-year-old not understanding what had happened. My family was involved in a very serious car accident right before Thanksgiving. My mom was holding a cookie sheet with my toy magnets on it in her lap. I’d just made a picture with them for her, and she was going to make one for me, but I fell asleep.

She was holding it on her lap when the accident happened.”

“I never knew you were in a car accident. Is that how your mom died, internal injuries?”

Eli nodded. “The official term is ‘unsecured objects within vehicle,’ but the collision forced the cookie sheet into her abdomen, doing catastrophic internal damage.”

Rachel looked straight into his eyes. “Eli, you know what happened wasn’t your fault?”

In theory, yes, he knew that, but it hadn’t eased him at all the day he found out years later when he finally had gotten the nerve to ask his father about it. His memories were sketchy of the time after the accident, but he remembered clearly the time leading up to it.

“Yes, I do. But it didn’t make it any easier to bear. Ace told us about the lamp and the picture frames. It was like reliving that nightmare all over again.”

Eli told her his story as he was transported back in time to those painful memories. He took long pauses here and there, and she rubbed his back comfortingly with her good arm. Her warmth seeped into him and eased the telling, buffering the pain of the memories as he shared them with her.

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