Here for You (22 page)

This Cole could do, and he eagerly begged Ian for more, thrusting his hips at him. The conversation, though, was much more difficult. The last thing Cole wanted was to send a story out into the world and then have to tell Ian he’d been rejected. It had been bad enough imagining the disappointment alone, but disappointing Ian would simply kill him. Cole battled with his thoughts.

Ian closed his lips over Cole’s erection, and all Cole’s worries about the future scattered. A deep, incessant longing for Ian to take him swept over Cole. His body strained upward, his cock pushing into the warmth of Ian’s mouth.

W
HEN
C
OLE
came home from work, he found Tomas alone in the kitchen, studying for his nursing class. The kitchen was dimly lit, and Tomas looked so very alone, his giant shoulders hunched over the book, his knees practically banging the table.

“Hey.” Cole sat down opposite him. “How’s studying?”

“It’s harder than my last class,” Tomas admitted. “There’s a lot to memorize.”

He looked tired, Cole noted. He frowned. He’d been so busy lately, he’d barely spoken with Tomas.

Tomas eyed him. “You look good.”

“You look like shit.”

“Funny man. You try working and going to school.”

“No thanks.”

“Where’ve you been anyhow? With Ian?”

“At the bar. But I saw Ian before that.”

Tomas closed his book. He sagged back against his chair. “So you and Ian, huh?”

“Yeah.” Cole ducked his head. “Me and Ian.”

“I’m happy for you.” Tomas smiled. “Although you two seem so different.”

“Thanks. I guess we are, but it feels right to me. I can’t explain it.”

“Yeah, that sort of thing is sometimes beyond reason.” Tomas suddenly looked sad, a bleak expression in his eyes. Cole knew it could only be hurt over Marc.

“You know, I was thinking. We should get everybody together soon. All of us. Have a family dinner like we used to do.”

Tomas let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know, Cole. Are we even a family anymore? Were we ever?”

“How can you say that?”

“I’m questioning everything lately. Maybe it’s all my trips into Miami to see my family, but… I look around here, and I’m beginning to wonder why I’ve stayed so long.”

“Stop that. You are a part of our household. Enough changes have happened already, Tomas. We’re still all shocked by Brendan, and we’re all adjusting, but this is still our home. Please.”

Tomas smiled. “You’re always so determined. Aren’t you? So ready to fight for what you need, and so sure of everybody meeting your expectations.” He tipped his head thoughtfully and said, “Maybe you and Ian Stark aren’t so odd together.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there’s a guy who’s grounded, right? He’s not going anywhere. He’s like a poster child for responsibility, and maybe that’s what you need. Eh, Cole? Somebody to count on? Who meets all your high hopes?”

“Maybe,” Cole muttered, uncomfortable with Tomas’s sudden observations. “But concentrate on our house, right now. We are going through a rough time. We need to take it slow, take some baby steps, and we’ll get back on track. We got dealt the worst kind of blow, but that’s all the more reason to not give up. Isn’t it?”

“You’re right. Sorry. Ignore me. A dinner would be good.”

“It would be a start. I’m not saying it fixes everything that’s wrong between us all lately. We could invite Evie and her girls,” Cole offered. “And I’ll invite Ian. I want you to get to know him more. And Marc, River, and Sandy, of course. Look, I know things aren’t the same. How could they be? But we can all sit down and share a nice meal,” Cole said, feeling a little frustrated. “We need to be together again for something fun.”

Boy, did they.

“All right,” Tomas said. “Let me talk to Marc about it. I can get him to agree to dinner, at least. Not much else,” Tomas mumbled. “And you tackle River.”

“Is he here?”

“He’s out back.”

R
IVER
WAS
outside, fooling with his bike. Whenever he was home, he was tinkering with it, keeping to himself. Cole approached him slowly.

“River.”

“What?”

River dragged his gaze off his motorcycle. Even as he glanced at Cole, River seemed so far away. He, out of all of them, remained in the darkness.

Cole held his palm out, upward. “I want a favor.”

“Okay.”

Cole drew back in surprise. “Okay? Really? You don’t even know what the favor is yet.”

River shrugged. He lit a cigarette. He never used to smoke, but lately he’d taken to it, although Sandy, who had allergies, insisted he smoke only outside. The tip of the cigarette glowed in the semidarkness. River had the light above the carport on, but it wasn’t much.

Cole cleared his throat. “Well, okay, then. We’re having a big dinner together, tomorrow, if possible, before my shift. And we all want you there with us. We’ll do potluck, okay? Bring some cheese and crackers or something. All right?”

Taking another drag of his cigarette, River didn’t reply. He gazed out into the night, then crushed the cigarette under his heel. “Fine. Whatever.”

“Great!” Cole forced his voice to be cheerful.

T
HE
DINNER
went surprisingly well. Everybody made an effort. Evie brought a bouquet of fat yellow sunflowers and a dish of eggplant and peppers. Her girls trotted into the house, electronics in hand. Marc had made little pizzas—some with feta and spinach, some with pepperoni and mushrooms, and Sandy had made a salad. Marc had told Cole to make a dessert. He’d bought one instead—chocolate cake. When Ian arrived, he easily fit right into the fold, tolerating Sandy’s bad jokes, asking Tomas about nursing school, and conversing with Evie’s girls in a natural way. Cole mostly hung back and watched him interact. His feelings were still so shiny and new. He tasted the pasta dish Ian had brought, and even though it was a little undercooked, Cole ate it with vigor. Ian could have brought over a dog-food casserole, and he would have eaten it with gusto.

He had it bad.

“So, Ian, do you have family near?” Evie asked.

“No. They live far away. I don’t see them too much.” Ian smiled politely. He sipped his drink.

“That’s too bad.”

“My father might visit me in a week or so.” Ian surprised Cole as he told Evie that news. He glanced at Cole. “He might have business in Fort Lauderdale and bless me with his presence for a night.”

Oh hell. Was Ian hinting Cole should meet his family? Cole swallowed his undercooked pasta. He wasn’t sure he was ready for that.

Luckily the conversation turned to other things, but Cole felt Ian’s intense gaze on him from time to time. It never failed to affect him. Cole was almost sorry they weren’t at Ian’s home in his bed. The way Ian’s expression darkened as their eyes clashed, Cole wondered if Ian wasn’t thinking that same thing.

The meal went on successfully. Well, the only tricky part was River, who showed up late and then sat through the entire meal in silence. Nobody could draw him out. Cole hooked an arm around him at one point, wanting to make some kind of contact with him. When River glanced his way, Cole smiled widely. River didn’t pull away from Cole’s arm, but he didn’t react much either.

“I think he needs some help,” Tomas said as the rest of them cleared the dishes. “Maybe we could go to him tomorrow and pack Brendan’s things for him. Something needs to change with River. He can’t stay this way.”

“Agreed. Although it might not be a pretty scene,” Cole said.

“I can bring home boxes from the bar,” Sandy offered.

“Let’s not push him so much,” Marc said.

“We need to do something,” Tomas argued. “It will be a start. But it’s not enough. He could use some therapy. I’m definitely going to talk to him about therapy.”

“Fuck therapy!” Marc said hotly. “That’s your answer for everything. Some things can’t be fixed by talking to some headshrinker.”

“Fuck you!” Tomas said in an extremely rare show of temper. He stormed away.

Marc looked startled. Sadness and regret swept over his face.

“What the hell was that about?” Cole nudged him in his ribs.

Marc flushed a deep mottled red. He glanced at Sandy, who wisely stepped out of the kitchen.

“Well?” Cole folded his arms. “I hardly ever see Tomas that pissed off.”

“It’s not about River….” Marc hedged.

“No kidding.”

“It’s an old fight, okay? You don’t need to get involved in the details. Let’s just say that we might have disagreed about the benefits of therapy before.” Marc’s jaw tightened. Cole knew he wouldn’t offer any more explanation tonight.

They walked back to their guests.

“Tomas had to go,” Cole said. Ian shot him a look of concern. Cole smiled weakly at him. “Sorry, guys, but I guess the dinner party is over.”

“Yeah, River’s split too,” Sandy told them.

Nobody knew what to say about that.

“Well, the food was excellent.” Evie broke the awkward silence. “Thank you, boys, for having me and my kiddos over.”

“Welcome,” Marc mumbled, still looking guilty.

“Yes, it was great,” Ian said. “I don’t have big dinners like this too often.”

Cole smiled more naturally then. He poured Ian some wine from the half-drunk bottle. “Stay a little. I have to go to work soon. But maybe you can come by the bar?”

“Sure.” Ian sipped the wine. “I’d like that.”

“Speaking of the bar, I got to be there even earlier than you.” Sandy hurried toward his room.

“We’ll do it again.” Marc laid his hand on Cole’s shoulder. “I promise to keep my stupid mouth closed.”

Marc nodded at Ian and went off to his own room.

The meal hadn’t gone the way he’d hoped, but Cole wasn’t going to give up on his housemates. He only wished they weren’t giving up on each other.

Ian stood and came over to him, silently. He wrapped his arms around him. “Don’t be disappointed.”

“I’m that obvious, huh?”

“To me.” Ian kissed him. “Changes are hard.”

“I’ve been afraid of things changing, but I’m trying to accept it more.”

“Your housemates are trying too. They’re afraid like you. Be patient and remember that you can’t pick and choose parts of people to care about. You have to accept the entire package.”

Cole stared. His lips parted. Ian could always directly hit on what bothered him. He really was an amazing man, a strong-willed man, perhaps, but only because he wanted to do right.

Cole was quiet a moment before he said, “I’d like to see you later.”

“I’d like it too. Either I’ll come by the bar or you can come to my house after your shift. I want to see you tonight, one way or another.”

D
URING
HIS
shift, It’s Five O’clock Somewhere was packed. Guys were jammed tight on the dance floor, and there were no stools left at the bar. Cole could barely keep pace with the orders. He’d be too exhausted to go to Ian’s tonight and was glad he’d seen him earlier. Cole made a pitcher of daiquiris. He had an order for a gimlet too. He ignored how his back was tight. Cole enjoyed bartending, but it was a physically demanding job to be on your feet all night.

One guy was spinning on his bar stool like a gleeful kid.

“Maybe time to cut him off,” Paula said.

“He’s having fun. He told me he had a promotion at work. He’s celebrating.”

Paula clasped her hands together. “Oh, goody for him. Take it out of his bill when he breaks our fucking stool.”

“What’s with her?” Cole asked Sandy when she’d moved on.

“Not sure,” Sandy said. “But they might have a little history together. A threesome, I heard.”

“Oh geez. I don’t want to know any more.”

“I think it’s hot.” Sandy grinned.

Over the next hour, the bar became busier. Cole and Sandy had no chance to talk. He mixed and poured and served drinks as fast as he could, but some customers were still impatient, casting him annoyed looks. Cole smiled. He served them as if they were all angels and not assholes.

At last there was a lull in the night. Cole stretched, arching his back.

“Hey, Cole. How are you?”

“Andrew. Hi!” Cole grinned for real this time. “How’s the café? I need to stop by tomorrow for my usual mocha latte.”

“It’s okay….”

“What can I get you?”

“Whiskey sour.” As Andrew said it, his words slurred a little. Cole stopped to look at his friend. He was totally tipsy. “Where’s John?”

“Fuck if I know.”

Uh-oh.

Cole carefully made the drink and set it down in front of Andrew. “Problems?”

“We’ve split,” Andrew confirmed. “It’s done.”

“Wow, I had no idea you guys were having any troubles. What happened? Unless you don’t want to talk about it.”

“We just fought too much. Over the house. Over money. My hours at the café. You name it.” Andrew slurped his drink. “I’m the fucking owner, right? I can’t curb my hours ’cause John is lonely. And he gripes about money, well, building a business takes time.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Andrew blinked at him. He smiled. “Your offer to build me a castle still good, beautiful?” He took Cole’s hand. “You sure are fine. I always thought so.”

“Oh?” Cole knew that the usually sweet Andrew would be highly embarrassed by this in the morning.

“You’re a good-looking guy. I’m sure you know that. What’d you say you wanted to do—” He hiccupped slightly. “—fuck me in a glass castle?”

“Carriage. But look, Andrew, I’m seeing somebody.”

“So? It can’t be too serious.”

“No, it’s serious. It hasn’t been long but—”

Cole stopped to avoid Andrew’s sloppy kiss aimed at his left cheek. When he turned his head, he saw him across the bar near the front door, staring daggers at him and Andrew both.