Here With Me (10 page)

“Not much longer, I hope.”

“He needs to take it easy,” Mallory spoke up, eyeing him with a smile.
“He’d be back to work tomorrow if it were up to him.”

“Life is pretty dull just sitting around,” Ryan added.

“It must be, especially for someone who’s led such a riveting life.” Cole was being sarcastic and Mallory found herself glaring at him.  She knew the reason for his attitude, but she never expected him to be so openly antagonistic.  Ryan, who had chosen not to acknowledge Cole’s sarcasm, finally looked over to him.  Ryan’s stare was hard and Mallory noticed his clenched jaw.  She rested her hand on his knee in a show of support.

“Actually it is.  I’m not used to doing nothing.  Maybe you could help me with that, Cole.”

Mallory tensed and her hand slowly glided back to her lap.  She couldn’t believe what had come out of Ryan’s mouth, even though she had to agree with him.  She glanced up and saw her mother and grandmother looking around the room to avoid the awkwardness.  Cole was leaning forward and meeting Ryan’s stare with equal intensity. 

“If you’ll excuse me,” Ryan said, suddenly standing up and laying his napkin on the table. “I need to use the restroom.  Mallory,” he said, touching her shoulder for a moment. “I’ll be right back.

She smiled nervously up at him, hoping he wasn’t too upset.  She couldn’t tell, because his expression never changed as he walked away.

Once Ryan
was out of view, she turned to Cole.

“Cole, a word please,” she said sternly, standing up and walking out the door
.  She didn’t turn to check if he was following her, but she knew he was because he always did.

Weaving
through the tables on the patio, she walked down the steps until she could feel the cool sand of the beach through her sandals.  Whipping around, she saw Cole close behind.

“What are you doing?” she said once he was in front of her.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t patronize me.  You know damn well what I’m talking about.  You’ve been acting like an ass all night towards Ryan.  I’ve had about enough of your snide comments.”

“What about his snide comments?”

“He was a perfect gentleman until you wouldn’t let up.  He was just giving you a taste of your own medicine.”

Cole started laughing and he shook his head.

“
Ya know, Mal, it’s a little disappointing that you’re so quick to defend him.”

“It’s not that I’m defending him.  It’s a simple matter of respect, which you are showing him none,” she said, staring up into the face of one of her best friends, genuinely angry at him for the first time. “I care about him, Cole and it hurts me to see you acting this way, to see you treating him this way.”

His cocky smile vanished and was replaced by a serious line.

“And it hurts me to see you falling so carelessly for this guy, especially after the way he treated you.”

“You know nothing about Ryan.”

“I know he dumped you.  He blew you off,
but all of a sudden, he gets shot and everything’s fine.”

“You don’t know why Ryan did what he did, and you don’t need to know, but he had reasons, good reasons, and I’d appreciate it if you would mind your own business and stop acting like such a jerk.  And if you’re not going to respect him, would you at least respect me?”

Cole folded his arms and his face softened. 

“I always respect you.” His voice was soft and kind and filled with concern. “That’s the problem.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about.  I’m always here for you.”

“Just stop, Cole.  Don’t go there.  I am done having this conversation.  You just can’t seem to let go of the past and I wish you would.”

“I’ve let it
go, Mal.  I’ve spent the last ten years wishing things could be different, but I know things won’t change, but that won’t stop me from looking out for you.”

“You mean it won’t stop you from trying to control my life.”

Cole stepped back and shook his head.

“You think I’m trying to control you?”

“Yeah.  It feels like that sometimes.”

“Well, that was never my intention,” he said softly, staring down at the sand for a moment before meeting her eyes again. “I’m sorry.  It won’t be a problem anymore.”

He turned to head back up the stairs. She folded her arms and shook her head and sighed, watching him disappear out of the corner of her eye.  She hadn’t meant to sound so mean.  It had just come out of her mouth. It couldn’t be taken back now and as her mind replayed their conversation she thought maybe she didn’t want to.

When she returned to the table,
she was surprised to see Cole, figuring he might’ve gone home.  Instead, he was eating casually, as if nothing had happened.  Ryan was there as well and everyone was eating in silence.  Mallory took her seat and began piecing at her lobster roll.  It was quiet the rest of the meal and she couldn’t wait to get away from the awkwardness. 

“Thanks for the invite, Jane,” Cole said as Kenna was clearing the plates away.

“I’m glad you could join us,” Grandma Jane said.

“It was nice to see you, Claire.”

“Don’t be a stranger, Cole,” her mother said and Cole smiled before turning away.  Mallory wondered if it was as obvious to everyone else that he hadn’t said anything to her or Ryan before he left.

“So
, I’ll be seeing you again next week?” Kenna said, stating the obvious.

“I’m sure you will,” Grandma Jane said. “Now we’ll just take the check and then we’ll be out of your hair.”

“Oh, Cole already took care of it.”

“Of course he did,” Mallory said under her breath as she saw a smile spread across her mother’s face.

“Well, that was awfully generous of him,” her mother said and Mallory reached down and took Ryan’s hand.

“We’re gonna take off now,” Mallory said
, standing up. 

“It was nice getting to know you both a little better,” Ryan said as he stood at Mallory’s side.

“Yes.  Likewise, Ryan,” Grandma Jane said. “I hope you’re back to work soon.”

“Thank you, Jane.
”

“I’ll see you at home, Mom,” Mallory said.

“Will you be out late?”

“I’m not sure,” she said, frustrated her mother would even ask that question.  She felt like a teenager and she hated feeling that way.

“She won’t be out too late, Mrs. Leyton.”

Her mother just nodded at Ryan, and Mallory cringed at how cold she was being towards him.  It was as if she and Cole were sharing a brain.

“Bye, Grandma,” Mallory said and then waved to Kenna who was serving another table. 

She tried to calm down the maniac in her mind that was screaming profanities at Cole and her mother by the time they got to Ryan’s Jeep.  Once they were alone and he was pulling out of the parking lot, she was feeling a little better, but was still mortified at how the night had turned out.  She had been excited for her family to get to know Ryan.  She couldn’t have imagined it would turn out the way it did. 

“I’m sorry,” she finally said as Ryan drove, turning her head so she was looking at him.  He was staring ahead, concentrating on the road.  The light of the dashboard created a soft glow on his profile and she couldn’t help herself as she reached up and gently stroked his cheek.  He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and pulling the car off to the side of the road.  He turned off the engine and moved his body so he was facing her.

“I shouldn’t have spoken to Cole like that.”

“He deserved it.  He was being a jerk.”

“Still, he’s your friend and it’s obvious your family is quite fond of him.”

“I don’t care what my family thinks.”

“Don’t say that because you don’t mean it.”

She looked away and stared out the window towards the dark ocean.  As she watched the black waves gently lapping onto the sand, she knew he was right.  She did care what they thought.

“I just wish they’d stop trying to make decisions for me.  My mom is dead set on seeing me end up with Cole and I wish she’d give it up.  She’s got this idea that Cole can save me from my
life when the truth is, I don’t need saving.  I like my life,” she said and then paused before adding. “For the most part.”

She felt his hand under her chin and he gently pulled her gaze back to his. 

“What aren’t you happy with?”

“Excuse me?”

“Your life.  You said you like your life, for the most part.  What part aren’t you happy with?”

She looked back out the window.  She had a good life.  She had a family who loved her.  She had good friends.  She had a job she loved and was good at.  But she didn’t have her own life, where she could make decisions just for her.  She couldn’t live her life the way she wanted to and she had no one to share it with.  She didn’t want to tell him that though.

“Just forget about it.  I’m fine.  I have a great life.”

“You don’t have to be afraid to talk to me.”

There was something about his eyes that told her she could trust him and when her mouth opened she started letting it all spill out.

“I just sometimes wish I had a life that was really my own.  I wish I didn’t feel like a mother to my own mom sometimes.  It’s not even since she got sick either.  It’s been my whole life.  I love my mom so much, but she’s just so…” she said, stopping to think of the right word. “She’s just so…my mom.  Nothing ever bothered her.  Everything just rolled off her back and my sister and I always had to be the mature ones.  Fixing our own dinner, doing things around the house, things like that.  Paige left right after high school, and I never expected to be living with my mom still at 24.  Even when it came to what I want to do with my own life, I couldn’t do what I wanted to do because I couldn’t just leave my mom.  She needs help, even if she won’t admit it.  But sometimes I wish I could just do something for me without feeling like I need permission. 
Like tonight when she asked if I was going to be out late.  I shouldn’t have to tell her when I’m coming home.  I’m a grown woman.  I pay practically all the bills, so why do I have to check in with her?  I want my own place.  My own little house with my own things.  A house where I get to sleep in the master bedroom,” she laughed before continuing.  “Maybe a little white cape near the water.  I don’t know. Just something to have that I can call my own and maybe share it with someone who’s not my mother.  It’s stupid, I know.”

“It’s not stupid.  You should have whatever you want.  I think you’re incredible, Mallory.  Everything about you impresses me; your compassion with your patients and especially your mom.  Don’t be too hard on her though.  She just wants what’s best for you and Cole looks a whole lot better than me.”

“Stop being ridiculous.  What does Cole have?  Money?  Money that he hasn’t even earned?  That’s all my mother sees.”

“I don’t blame her.  How would you feel if your daughter kept passing up the chance to marry and have security and then shows up with some fly by night stranger who’d just been shot?” he said with a low laugh. 

“I would hope I’d trust her to know what was best for her and I’d realize what an incredible person that fly by night stranger was, especially with all the sacrifices he’s made in his own life.”

He smiled before pulling her towards him and kissing her gently.

“I know I don’t have much to offer you the way Cole does, but I want to make you happy, Mallory.  It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to be with someone the way I want to be with you.  My life is crazy and I know your plate’s full too, but I want to make room for each other, if that’s what you want.”

“It is, Ryan,” she said softly before kissing him again, pulling back before she wouldn’t want to stop. 

****

The house was dark when Ryan dropped her off.  She opened the door and glanced up the stairs and saw a light glowing from the top. 
After securing the house, she headed upstairs to get some sleep.  She went quietly into her room and slipped on her pajamas before going into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.  When she was done, she walked back into the hallway and heard her mother’s voice call for her.  When she walked into her mom’s room, she was lying in bed, her book propped open, staring at her over the top of her reading glasses. 

“Did I get home too late?” she asked, doing her best to hide the sarcasm in her voice.

“No.”

“Then I’m going to head to bed.  My shift starts at seven a.m.”

“I’d like to talk about tonight, if you’ve got a moment.”

“What’s there to talk about?  Tonight was a huge success, don’t you think?” she asked, unable to mute the sarcasm this time.

“I wish you’d told me Ryan would be joining us tonight.”

“Why do I have to run everything by you?  I just wanted you to get to know Ryan a little better.”

“Have you been seeing a lot of him?” her mother asked, ignoring Mallory’s previous statement.