Here With Me (14 page)

“To be honest, when we first started seeing each other, I didn’t think much about the future.  I thought we’d have some fun, but I didn’t see it going past the summer.  But, I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and I know if it’s meant to be, we’ll find a way.  I don’t think we can make any set plans because I don’t know what kind of plans we can make.  People do it all the time though.  Long distance relationships are possible.”

“You’re right,” she said softly. “And like you said, if it’s meant to be, we’ll find a way.”              

She tried hiding the disappointment on her face, but she wasn’t fooling anyone.  Ryan gently placed a finger beneath her chin and raised it until she was looking into his eyes.

“I don’t want one of the best weekends of my life ruined by your sadness.  Let’s just enjoy our time together.  I love you, Mallory.  You are the first woman I’ve ever said that to and I don’t regret it for a moment.  I’m glad I came to Kennebunkport.  I’m glad we both decided to go running that morning and I’m glad that dog tackled you to the ground.  I’ve had an exciting life, but it’s not been that happy.  I’m happy now though and I owe that to you.”

She thought she felt her eyes brimming with tears, but she blinked them back.  She reached up and kissed him again and tried to trus
t in everything he was saying, wanting to enjoy this moment with him.

They turned around to continue across the bridge, until Ryan stopped and looked up.  Mallory did the same and noticed the bridge was covered with names and dates.

“I didn’t see this before,” he said, pointing up at the graffiti.

“Me neither.  It’s kind of charming,” she said
, perusing through the names.

“Let’s add our names,” he said. “Do you have a pen in your bag?”

She nodded and after searching, pulled out a blue, ball point pen.  He took it and began writing on the wood.  A few moments later he stepped back and she looked up, smiling widely as she saw what he wrote:
We’ll always have here. Mallory & Ryan 2007.

Chapter Seventeen

   
“I hate to think of returning to real life tomorrow,” Mallory said listlessly as they pulled onto her street.  They’d finished hiking in New Hampshire, had lunch and headed back to Maine.  It was nearly dark and she hated to think of saying good night to Ryan. 

“While I’m not looking forward to our weekend being over, I’m actually kind of looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow.  I’m not used to having this much free time, although I’ve found some very worthwhile ways to fill it,” he said, kissing the back of her hand. 

“Yes, you have.  I’ll miss seeing you whenever I want.”

“You’ll still see me.  You’ll be seeing me so much you’ll get sick of me.”

They both laughed and then she squinted, leaning forward as she noticed an unfamiliar car in the driveway. 

“Were you expecting company?” Ryan asked as he pulled in beside the red SUV.

“No,” she said suspiciously. “I wonder what’s going on.”

“I’m coming in with you,” he said as he reached into the backseat and grabbed Mallory’s duffle bag.

The porch light was on and the door was unlocked.  When Mallory stepped inside, she expected to see her mother sitting on the couch, reading or watching the baseball game, but only the dim light of the table lamp illuminated the room, revealing the empty couch.  She heard shuffling from upstairs.

“Mom?” she called out.  Instead of a response, thunderous footsteps
came bounding down the stairs and she was shocked to see her sister at the bottom of the steps.

“Paige?” She hadn’t seen her sister in over a year.  Her wavy brown hair was askew
and she had no make-up on.  Mallory couldn’t recall the last time she’d seen her sister without make-up.  Her face looked distraught at first, but a moment later, it transformed to anger.

“Where the hell have you been, Mallory?” Paige shouted.

“What’s going on?  Why are you here?”

“We’ve been trying to reac
h you for two days!”

“I was out of town.  What’s going on?” Mallory asked as her heart began to pound.

“And you couldn’t bother to call?”

“I forgot my phone.  I’ve only been gone since Friday afternoon.”

“Yeah!  And it’s now Sunday, dammit!”

“I’m a grown woman, Paige.  I don’t have to tell anyone where
I’m going.  Now tell me what the hell is going on.  You haven’t been home in over a year.”

“You
wanna know why I’m home?” Paige sneered. “I’m home because Mom’s in the hospital and when no one could get a hold of you, they called me!”

“What?” Mallory exclaimed, grabbing onto Ryan for support. “Mom’s in the hospital?  Why?  What happened?”

“She fell down the stairs Friday night and you weren’t here!  You were supposed to be here, Mallory!  She depends on you and you just took off without any regard for anyone but yourself.”

Mallory’s e
yes filled with tears and she turned to Ryan, who couldn’t mask the shock on his face.

“
Omigosh, Ryan,” she whispered. “I knew it.  I knew I shouldn’t have gone away.  You said everything would be fine without me here.”

“Mallory, I’m sorry,” was all he could say.

“And you must be Ryan.  The hot shot Secret Service agent slash Navy SEAL that Cole told me about.” Paige was eyeing Ryan suspiciously and her voice was bitter.

“Yes, I’m Ryan Scott,” he said, extending his hand to Paige, who just glared down at it, refusing to take it. 

“So you’ve been off gallivanting around with this guy instead of being home to look after Mom?”

“Hey, I think that’s a little uncalled for,” Ryan spoke up.

“You,” Paige said, pointing a finger at Ryan. “Shut up!  This doesn’t concern you.  You waltz into town, sweep my sister off her feet and she completely disregards her responsibilities!  I don’t want to hear anything from you!”

“Don’t talk to Ryan like that!” Mallory shouted, standing between her sister and Ryan. 

“Enough,” he interrupted. “Let’s all just calm down.  How’s your mom?”

Paige’s face was still curled into a sneer and her arms were folded guardedly across her chest. 

“Not good,” Paige said and Mallory noticed tears in her sister’s eyes.

“What happened, Paige?” she asked.

“She fell down the stairs.  Her neck is broken.”

“What!” Mallory exclaimed.  She hadn’t known what to expect, but it wasn’t something this serious. “Her neck is broken?”

“Yes.  Thank God Cole came by.”

“What do you mean?”

“From what I can gather, Cole had been trying to call you since Friday night.  When he couldn’t get a hold of you by Saturday afternoon, he got worried and came to check on you.  Thank God he did because she’d been laying there since Friday night, no thanks to you.”  Paige’s voice was harsh again and Mallory felt the tears of guilt trail down her face. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, looking pleadingly at her sister.  Paige’s face didn’t budge though.  She was openly glaring at Mallory and she could tell Paige blamed her and her alone for what had happened to their mother.

“You should be,” Paige seethed.

“C’mon, Mal.
  Let’s get you to the hospital,” Ryan said before Mallory had a chance to absorb her sister’s cruel words.

He led her outside and opened the
Jeep door for her.  She numbly climbed inside, not bothering to fasten her seatbelt.  Ryan got in a moment later and began driving towards the hospital. 

“Mallory, she’s going to be okay,” he said, gripping her hand tightly as he drove.  She didn’t respond to him.  She just closed her eyes, praying her mom would be alright.

Chapter Eighteen

Mallory walked through the doors of Goodall Hospital nearly every day, but it was different this time.  She wasn’t going to work.  She was there for her mother. 

Walking
quickly to the information desk, Dale, an older man who worked the desk most nights, looked at her with sad eyes.

“Where’s my mom, Dale?” she asked quickly, not bothering with any greetings.

“She’s in room 302.”

Nodding
in thanks, she practically ran up the stairs, Ryan following closely behind.  Savannah saw her and came over to her immediately.

“Mallory, sweetie, I’m so sorry,” Savannah said, touching her arm.

“How is she?”

“She’s doing better.  She’s comfortable.  We’ve been taking good care of her.”

“Of course you have,” Mallory said, smiling appreciatively to her friend.

“Are you okay?  Your sister and your friend, Cole
were frantic trying to get a hold of you.”

“Yes, I’m fine.  Ryan and I went out of town for the weekend.  I forgot my phone and I didn’t even tell anyon
e where I was going,” she said.  She felt Ryan try and take her hand, but she pulled it away from him and crossed her arms.

“I’m glad you’re back.” Savannah leaned in and hugged Mallory briefly before they started walking towards her mother’s room.

“Can I see her?” she asked.

“Yes,” Savannah said, but Mallory sensed nervousness in her friend’s voice. “But, she’s not conscious.”

“What?  Why isn’t she conscious?” Mallory asked, her voice shaking.

“It’s from the stroke.”

“A stroke?” Mallory cried, her hand flying over her mouth. “My sister said she fell down the stairs and broke her neck.  What’s this nonsense about a stroke?”  Ryan reached for her hand again, and this time she let him hold it.

“I’m sorry, Mallory.  I thought Paige would’ve told you.  The stroke is the reason she fell down the stairs.”

Mallory felt herself freeze.  She thought she should be crying, but her entire body was paralyzed.  This could not be happening.  This was a dream.  No, it was a nightmare. 

“Would you like to go in?” Savannah asked gently and Mallory nodded silently. 

Savannah opened the door and Mallory nervously walked in.  Her eyes were drawn instantly to the woman in the hospital bed.  That was not her mother.  Her mom, although stricken with MS, was spunky and fiery and she never let her condition define her.  It never got the best of her.  Claire Leyton was an independent woman who took crap from no one.  No.  That could not be her mother.  That woman looked helpless and miniscule.  That woman looked defeated and Claire Leyton could never be defeated.

She barely heard Savannah say, “I’ll give you a minute,” and then left the room. 

Mallory finally let go of Ryan, dried her face with the back of her hand and walked over to her mother’s bedside.  She looked like she was sleeping and Mallory thought she looked beautifully peaceful. 

“Mallory, I’m so sorry,” Ryan said quietly, resting his hand on the small of her back, but she shirked away from his touch and focused on her mom. 
Reaching down, she took her mom’s hand in hers, squeezing it tightly as a tear escaped her eye. 

Her head jerked around at the sound of the door opening.  Her grandmother walked in, followed by Cole.  They both looked at Mallory with curiosity and relief.  She didn’t know what to say to them and she waited for them to berate her, the way Paige had. 

“It’s good to have you home,” her grandmother’s voice said.  It wasn’t harsh or critical, just honest.

“I’m sorry I forgot my phone.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell anyone where I was going,” she said, releasing her mother’s hand and walking towards them. 

“That doesn’t matter now,” Grandma Jane said, embracing her. “What matters is that you’re here now.”

Her grandmother held her for a moment before letting go and walking over to her daughter’s bedside.  Mallory looked up at Cole.  He looked relieved, but tired, as if he hadn’t slept well in days. 

“Cole,” she said staring up into his eyes. “Thank you.” Her voice cracked as she buried her face in his chest.  He wrapped his arms around her as her body heaved as all the emotion of the evening came pouring out.  “Thank you, Cole.  Thank you for being there when I wasn’t.  I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” She wasn’t even sure her voice was audible over the sobs, but he seemed to understand what she was saying.  He whispered words of encouragement as he stroked her hair. “I should’ve been here,” she said, pulling away finally and wiping her face with the back of her hand.  Cole handed her a tissue and she dried her face with it.

“Stop beating
yourself up,” Cole said.

“What happened
?  How’d you find her?”

“I’d been trying to get a hold of y
ou.  I know you’ve been upset with me and I wanted to apologize.  I hate when you’re mad at me.”

“Let’s not worry about that now, please.  None of that matters.  What matters is that you found her in time.  How did you find her?”

“When you didn’t answer your phone or any of my texts, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.  I figured you wouldn’t ignore me for that long,” he laughed lightly and she allowed herself to smile a little. “When I got to your house on Saturday, I saw the cars out front, but when I knocked, no one answered so I decided to peek in and that’s when I saw her at the bottom of the stairs.”

She felt herself getting choked up again, imagin
ing her mother’s crumpled body and she cringed, knowing if she’d been there, it might not have happened. 

“Cole, I will never be able to thank you enough for being there.”

“You don’t need to thank me.  I’m always here for you, Mal.  I love you and I love your family.”

His blue eyes were smiling down at her and she hugged him again briefly before the door opened and Dr. Shaver walked in. 

“Savannah told me you were here,” he began and Mallory walked over to him.  Cole followed her and a moment later, Ryan was at her side as well.  He took her hand and held it tightly.

“How is she?” Mallory asked.

“She’s stable.”

“But what about the long term prognosis,” she prodded.

“She has a cervical fracture of the C2 vertebrate.  But it’s not serious, in terms of broken necks.  We’ll keep her neck immobile until it’s healed, but she’ll be okay, in regards to the neck injury.”

“And the stroke?
  What about that?”

Dr. Shaver shift
ed his weight and she could tell he looked uncomfortable.

“We’re not sure, Mallory.  Her brain activity is normal, but we won’t really know until she regains consciousness.”

“And we have no clue when that will be,” she mumbled matter-of-factly.  She’d seen stroke victims throughout her time in nursing.  They could be unconscious for hours or days, it all depended.  Some patients made full recoveries, while others suffered long-term effects and even death. 

“What’s your gut tell you, Dr. Shaver?” Mallory asked and she knew he’d be honest with her.  She’d worked with him since her first day at the hospital and he had always been a straight shooter.

“I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I have a good feeling about her prognosis.  Like I said, her vitals are good, her brain function is strong, but we won’t know anything until she wakes up.”

Mallory sighed in relief and she felt Ryan squeeze her hand.  She knew they had to wait till her mother woke up, but Dr. Shaver wouldn’t have said that if he didn’t think it was a possibility.

“I’ll keep you posted if anything should change,” Dr. Shaver said and Mallory nodded.

“Thank you,” she said quietly and the doctor left the room.

She walked over to her mother’s bedside and felt her grandmother’s hand stroking her back.

“How are you, Grandma?” Mallory asked,
noticing she looked worried, but strong.

“I’m alright, sweetie.  Claire’s a fighter.  She’
ll come through this.”

“I hope so,” Mallory said softly. “I’m sorry, Grandma.”

“It’s not your fault, Mallory.  Stop blaming yourself.”

“I should’ve been there.”

“What’s done is done.  We can’t change the past.  All we can do is focus on Claire’s recovery.”

She nodded and felt Ryan at her side.

“Even if you’d been there, it could’ve still happened.  You can’t blame yourself,” he said gently.

Whipping
her head around, she glared at Ryan.

“Don’t,” she snapped at him. “Don’t say anything.  If I hadn’t been off with you, I would’ve been home with my mom and she wouldn’t be laying here with a broken neck. So, please, don’t say anything.”

Ryan’s eyes were wide as he listened to her harsh words. 

“Mallory,” he said softly, trying to take her hand, but she ripped it away. 

“Please, Ryan.  I need to be with my family right now.”

“Should I wait in the waiting room?”

“I’m not sure how long I’ll be here.  You should just go home.”

It grew quiet and he stared down at her anxiously before speaking a moment later.

“Mallory, I’m not leaving you right now.”

“I just need to be with my family.  You should go.”

“You want me to leave?” he asked and she noticed his eyes drifting over to Cole for a second before meeting hers again.

“That’s probably a good idea,” she answered and as he stepped back, she could tell he was taken aback by her words.

“Mallory, please,” he pleaded quietly, staring at her with those intense green eyes. “Let me be here for you.  I want to help you.”

“I need to be with my mom.  I need to focus on her right now.”

“Mal…” he began, but she cut him off.

“I said I need to be with my mom,” she repeated sternly.

“Fine.  I’ll go then,” he relented. “I’ll see you tomorrow though.”  He began to lean in to kiss her, but stopped himself when she pulled away.  She didn’t even watch him as he walked out of the room.

****

She stayed at her mother’s side until her grandmother forced her to go home and get some sleep.  She learned Cole had hardly left the hospital since her mom had been admitted.  He had always loved her family and she now owed him more than she could ever repay. 

Mallory hadn’t wanted to leave, but Cole and Grandma Jane had assured her she was doing no one any good at the hospital.  She was supposed to work the following morning, but the events
of the day had been too much, telling her supervisor she would be taking a personal day.  She couldn’t focus on patients until she knew the status of her mother’s condition. 

Cole had agreed to take her home.  While Grandma Jane had pract
ically forced Mallory to go, she, herself, had insisted on sleeping in the pull out chair at her daughter’s side. 

Mallory and Cole
were quiet as they drove towards her house.  Even though she’d had one of the most relaxing weekends of her life, she was exhausted.  The crying and worry had drained her energy and she was anxious to get home and go to sleep so she could forget about everything for a few hours. 

Paige’s SUV was still in the driveway and Mallory’s stomach turned at the sight of it.  She didn’t
want to deal with her sister who was just as judgmental as ever.  Paige’s criticism was the last thing Mallory needed right now.

When Cole turned off the engine, he got out and walked with her inside.  Paige was on the couch, her cell phone to her ear.  It sounded as if she was talking to her husband, Justin.  She looked annoyed and quickly said goodbye once Mallory and Cole were inside. 

“I thought you might be in bed,” Mallory said as Cole shut the door.

“I can’t sleep,” Paige snapped. “Plus, I had to make sure you hadn’t run off again.”

“Paige,” Cole warned, stepping in front of Mallory defensively.

“Don’t try and protect her, Cole!” Paige shouted, standing up. “She’s the reason Mom’s in the hospital.” Paige’s words caused guilty tears to fill Mallory’s eyes.  She didn’t know how to respond to her sister’s statement.  What she said was true, so Mallory said nothing.

“Paige, seriously.  Knock it off.  It’s not Mal’s fault.  Nothing could’ve stopped your mom from having a stroke.”

“No, but maybe she wouldn’t have fallen down the stairs and broke her neck if she’d been here!”

Paige was glaring at Mallory who stifled a cry, quickly brushing passed Cole and headed upstairs. 

“Enough, Paige!
  Stop being such a bitch,” she heard Cole say as she rushed to her room. 

She sat on her bed, hanging her head in her hands.  Cole appeared a moment later.  He stepped inside and closed the door behind him, sitting down next to her.  He put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Don’t listen to a word she says.  She has no right coming here and blaming you for all of this when she couldn’t give a rat’s ass about anybody here in Kennebunkport.  She’s only saying all these things because she realizes what a bitch she’s been these last few years.  She knows she hasn’t done anything for your family.  She feels guilty and she’s lashing out at you because it’s all she can do.  She wants to blame you so she can’t blame herself.”