Here With Me (18 page)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Life was slowly returning to normal. 
Her mother had made tremendous progress since entering the rehab center and Mallory had to hold back her smiles at her mother’s wisecracks and complaints whenever she’d visit.  Her spirit had definitely made a full recovery and she was doing everything in her power to return home.  She loved to complain about the food and that her roommate snored too loud.  Her mother was back, there was no denying that.  Not only was she mentally healed, but she was growing stronger every day.  Her left side was still weak, but her speech had improved dramatically.  Her words were still slower than before the stroke, but nothing like it’d been when she’d first woken up. 

Paige and the kids had even come up for a weekend visit.  The visit had actually gone better than Mallory expected and she enjoyed spending time with her niece and nephew.  Paige and Mallory didn’t talk much, but Paige was not nearly as harsh as when the accident first happened. 

She hadn’t spoken to Ryan since the night she ended things.  He’d tried calling, but when she didn’t answer, he’d texted her to ask how her mother was.  She’d written back that she was doing much better and thanked him for asking, but other than that, there had been no contact.  She tried telling herself it was getting easier every day, but that was a lie.  She ached for him, but as she watched the days on the calendar tick away and the end of summer draw nearer, she kept telling herself it had been the right thing to do.  They were both better off.  It was better to end things before they got in any deeper.  If she’d let it go on any longer, it would’ve been even harder than it already was. 

When
she wasn’t busy with work or visiting her mom, she stayed busy doing things around the house, going for a run, or hanging out with Kenna or Cole.  Kenna hadn’t said another word to her about Ryan, but Mallory knew she still didn’t approve.  Cole was as supportive as ever and she was grateful to have him around, even though she knew he’d be heading back to Harvard the following month.

“Now that things are settling down with your mom, I think you need to relax,” Cole said one morning.  They’d just finished having breakfast with her mom and were walking back to Cole’s car. 

“I’m perfectly relaxed,” she said as she got into the passenger side.

“No, you’re not.  I was talking to your mom while you were in the bathroom and she and I agree that a day on the boat would be good for you.  You haven’t done anything fun since your mom’s accident.”

“You want to go sailing?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, I do.  We used to have so much fun sailing together,” he said and she smiled thinking back to their sailing lessons. 

“We did have fun, didn’t we?”

“Yes, we did.  So, whaddya say?  The boat’s all ready to go, if you’re up for it.”

“Sure. Alright.  Let’s go,” she agreed with a smile, thinking he may be on to something.  It was a beautiful warm day, without a cloud in the sky.  A day on the water might be nice.

****

Cole was right.  A day of sailing was exactly what she needed.  It’d been ages since she’d spent any time on the water and as she lay sprawled out on the deck, she let her mind purge itself of all the drama of the last few weeks.  The sun felt good on her skin and the bobbing of the boat nearly put her to sleep.

“You’re getting a little pink.”  Cole’s voice startled her out of her daze and she turned to him.  He was standing above her, smiling down.  She sat up and looked at her stomach.  She’d been sunbathing in her shorts and bikini top and the hot July sun was scorching the rarely exposed skin of her stomach.

“I put sunscreen on,” she sighed, sitting up and reaching for her tank top, sliding it over her head before she could get any more burnt. 

“Don’t cover up on my account,” Cole laughed, sitting beside her. “I was actually quite enjoying the view.”

“I’d rather not get skin cancer, thank you very much,” she said, choosing to ignore his last comment.

Standing up, she stretched and leaned
against the railing of the sailboat as she stared out at the horizon.  They were out far, but she could still see the people on the beach, lying out on the umbrella peppered sand while others bobbed up and down in the water.  There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the water was deep blue and beautiful.  Suddenly, she pulled off the tank top she’d put on only a moment before and shimmied out of her shorts.  Before she could stop herself, she was diving head first into the cool waters of the North Atlantic.  The temperature was shocking at first, but it soon felt good as she dove deeper, pushing herself down until she thought her lungs might burst.  She opened her eyes, the cloudy water offering no clue how far down she was.  Raising her arms, she torpedoed herself up until she came bursting out of the water, gasping for air. 

“Mallory!
  What the hell are you doing?” Wiping her eyes, she saw Cole hanging over the railing, a frantic look spread over his face.

“I’m just going for a swim,” she called back to him. 

“Are you crazy?”

“Probably!” she laughed, smoothing her hair back on her head. “Why don’t you join me?”

“I think I’ll pass.  Why don’t you come back to the boat?”

“No.  It feels great out here,” she yelled to him, diving beneath the surface
again.  When she popped up, Cole looked even more annoyed.

“C’mon, Mal!
  Enough of this.  Come back to the boat.”

“Don’t be such a bore, Cole!  Join me!”

He stared at her doubtfully, his eyebrow raised and his mouth curled into a half-smile.

“C’mon, Cole!
  We used to do this all the time!  You used to be fun!” she yelled at him.

“So you’re saying I’m not fun anymore?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying!” she taunted.

He just started laughing before Mallory watched as
he peeled off his shirt, having forgotten what a good body he had.  He’d always worked out and it was apparent he still did.  She looked away before she could notice anymore of him.  She heard a splash and looked back to the boat, seeing Cole was no longer hanging off the railing.  She looked around, but he was nowhere.  Seeing the wake from where he’d entered the water, she turned quickly, searching for him.  She knew he was somewhere under the water and it was creepy being all alone so far out in the water, the sailboat bobbing aimlessly. 

There was
a tug on her leg, just then, and she was pulled below the surface.  Opening her eyes, she saw the blurry image of Cole’s figure in front of her.  She pushed herself towards the surface and when she broke through the water she could hear Cole’s laughter and couldn’t help but laugh too.

“So, how’s that for fun?” he said as they treaded water.

“I say that’s definitely fun.  That’s the Cole I remember.”

“I’m glad you approve,” he said, disappearing below the surface again.  She whipped her head around, trying to find him.  They used to do this when they were younger and she was always terrible at it. Cole was always finding her and she always ended up dunked underwater.  When she
suddenly felt his weight on her shoulders, she knew nothing had changed.  She was pushed underneath and when she pushed herself out of the water again, Cole was laughing hysterically.  Lunging at him, she wrapped her legs around him as she pushed on his head with all her strength, willing him under the surface.  He didn’t budge though.  Her slight frame was no match for Cole’s. 

They were both laughing so hard they could hardly breathe.  She felt his hands wrap around her waist and she slid down his slick chest, until her arms were linked around his neck.  His legs kicked for both of them as hers were still wrapped around him. 

“Now that was fun,” he said breathlessly.  She couldn’t help but notice the way the drops of water clung to his thick lashes, framing his intense blue eyes.  His breath was quick and warm on her cool cheek.  Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply, before opening them again.  Her eyes locked on his and he reached up, slicking her hair back.  He pulled her closer, his hands wrapping tighter around her small waist.  “It’s nice to hear you laugh,” he said softly.

“
Thank you for making me laugh,” she replied, resting her forehead against his. “You’re always here for me, Cole.”

“I love you, Mallory.  I always have, even if you’ll never love me back.”

She felt his hand on the back of her head, pulling her to him and she didn’t fight him.  His lips brushed against hers, warm and salty.  It was soft at first, but when he felt her returning the kiss, he began to move faster and harder.  Mallory told herself she should stop, but as their lips, slick and moist from the water, slipped over each other, she didn’t want to.  Cole felt safe and familiar.  She hadn’t kissed his lips in nearly six years, and yet they were just the same as she remembered.  She clung to him as he continued to kiss her and she shuddered when his lips left hers and found their way to her neck momentarily before returning to her mouth.  The hunger was gone, replaced with a sweet tenderness as he brushed her lips with slow, gentle pecks. 

Her heart was pounding when they finally pulled away and she could’ve sworn she
felt his heart pounding too as their chests were pressed against each other.  Wrapping her arms around his neck again, she buried her head as he continued to tread water.  She just wanted to be held and Cole’s arms felt good. 

“What just happened, Mal?” he whispered in her ear.

“I don’t know,” she replied softly, slowly pulling back to meet his gaze.  His face looked elated and confused.

“Mal,” he said, nervously running a hand down her cheek.

“Let’s go back to the boat,” she said, unwrapping herself from him and heading back. 

She didn’t wait to s
ee if he was following and pulled herself up the ladder.  Once back on the deck, she went below to find towels.  She found two in the linen closet before heading back topside.  Cole was waiting, dripping wet in just his shorts, the water trickling over his muscles.  She handed him a towel and then wrapped one around her waist, brushing past him, their wet bodies touching as she did so, and sitting down.  Cole ran the towel over his head, drying his hair before gliding the towel over his arms and torso.  He sat across from her a moment later and the silence was deafening. 

“Should I apologize or something?”
Cole said with a soft laugh, breaking the silence.

Mallory looked up at him.  A nervous smile was spread across his face.  She smiled back and shook her head.

“You don’t need to apologize.  We’re adults.  With our history, it was bound to happen, especially with everything that’s been going on.”

His smile turned into a slight frown.

“So, was there anything there?  Did you feel anything for me…because…it felt like you did.”

She sighed and looked down, picking at the towel to keep her eyes from him.

“I don’t know, Cole.”

“You have to know what you felt,” he persisted.

“Did it feel good?” she asked rhetorically, finally looking up at him. “Yeah, of course, it felt good, but I don’t know what it means.”

Their eyes locked again, before Cole stood up and crossed the deck, sitting beside her.  He rested his hand on her knee for a moment before she rested her head on his shoulder, sighing.

“What is it, Mal?” he asked, wrapping his arm around her.

“Why don’t you just give up on me?” she said softly.

“Because that would mean failure and failure is not an option when it comes to you.”  She stood up, Cole’s arm unwrapping her and falling to his side as she walked over to the railing, staring out into the water for a moment before turning to him.

“Why?” she asked simply. 

“Why what?”

“Why me?
  You could have anyone you want.  You’re rich.  You’re gorgeous.  You’re smart.  And me…well…I’m just me.”

A smile curled up on Cole’s face and he stood up, joining her by the railing.

“That’s exactly why I want you.  Because you’re just you.”  She felt the blush consuming her face and he tilted her chin until she was forced to look at him.  “You always make it perfectly clear that I’m a rich, spoiled snob who’s never done an honest day’s work in my life.” He smiled and they both laughed at his comment because they both knew it was true.  She’d always held his status against him, and she made no point in hiding it.  “I know you think I should be with some uppity, trust-fund, Ivy League, country club chick.  But I don’t want that kind of girl.  I want a girl who knows what real life is, who’s experienced it.  A girl that keeps me grounded.” His hand reached for hers, and held it gently as he stroked her damp hair with his free hand. “I’ve tried getting over you.  I’ve tried letting go of our time together.  I’ve tried forgetting about you, but I can’t, Mallory.  We were kids when we gave us a try.  We’re different people now and,” he said squeezing her hand and smiling. “I think it could work this time, if you’d just give us another chance.”

Cole was serious.  His mouth was formed into a straight line and his blue eyes bored into hers.  He held her hand tightly and she thought perhaps he was right.  She’d told herself she’d never felt about Cole the way he felt about her, but part of her wondered if Cole was onto something.  She felt as if she’d never fit in Cole’s world.  She was blue collar.  He was white color.  She wasn’t good enough for Cole.  Maybe she’d never let herself feel for Cole because she didn’t feel worthy of someone like him.