Here With Me (20 page)

“This is Mallory, a good friend of mine.”

“It’s so nice to meet you both,” Mallory said, hoping she didn’t sound as nervous as she felt.

“You too, dear,” Mrs. Bush said and the President smiled at her. “What do you do?”

“I’m a nurse in the ER at the hospital here in Kennebunkport.”

“That’s admirable work.  Good for you.”

She just smiled and nodded at the former First Lady, not knowing what else to say.

Mrs. Hollins stood up just then.

“If you’ll excuse me, I am the MC of this event, so I’d better go make a speech so dinner can begin.”

Mrs. Hollins walked to the front of the room and took the microphone from the band leader.  She began talking, but all Mallory heard of the speech was her thanking everyone for coming and hoping they would consider making a generous donation.  Her  mind was too distracted as she still tried to wrap her mind around the fact she was sitting across from the Bushes and if she was being honest, she was curious if Ryan was somewhere in the crowd. 

Mrs. Hollins sat down once she had finished addressing the crowd and a moment later, the wait staff began bringing out the first course.  Mallory ate quietly, listening to the conversation, none of which she found particularly interesting.  It was all very dry and she wondered if rich people were always so boring.  As the courses came out one by one, the discussion changed from the law Cole was hoping to practice when he graduated and some of the accounts Josie was working on.  It eventually drifted to the presidency of the current President Bush, which would be coming to an end soon.  Mallory knew some of President
Bush’s decisions had been controversial, but she had always liked him, especially after the events of September 11
th
.  As his parents spoke about him, there was a look of pride in their eyes.

Dinner finally concluded with a dessert of crème Brule and when Mallory took the last bite, she thought she might burst.

“You doing alright?” Cole said, leaning over and talking quietly to her as the wait staff began clearing the table.

“Yes.  Just a tad overwhelmed,” she whispered back.

“I’m sorry.  You did great though,” Cole said, patting her knee.

“I think I’m going to go use the bathroom.  I’ll be right back,” she said softly and then stood up.
“If you’ll excuse me.  I have to go powder my nose,” she said, smiling at the group and then clutched her pocketbook before turning and leaving the tent.

She was laughing to herself as she walked towards the house.  Had she seriously just excused herself to go powder her nose?  She’d never left a table to go powder her nose in her life, but she
didn’t know what else to say and it seemed appropriate.  Well…more appropriate than telling them she had to take a pee.  She’d seen it done on TV in ritzy places.  Yes, powdering her nose was definitely better than excusing herself to take a tinkle. 

“What’s so funny?”

Mallory froze in her tracks, recognizing that voice anywhere.  When she slowly turned around, she knew who would be standing there, but it still didn’t prepare her for actually seeing him.  It’d been nearly a month since they’d last been together, and when she saw him, she realized how much she’d missed him.  He looked exactly like one would expect a Secret Service agent to look, only incredibly hot.  His black suit seemed perfectly tailored to his body and he was wearing a small earpiece.  His dark hair was gelled neatly, unlike the tousled look Mallory had grown accustomed to.  He appeared so different than the Ryan she’d fallen in love with, but as she met his familiar green eyes, there was no doubt it was him.

“Ryan.  Hi,” she said softly.

They were far enough away from the tent, she was certain no one could see them.  A cluster of trees isolated them from the party and her stomach filled with anticipation as Ryan took a step closer to her.

“How are you, Mallory?”

“I’m good,” she said quickly. “How are you?”

“
Hangin’ in there,” he said and they were quiet, the distant sound of the band the only noise.

“How’s your shoulder?” she asked after a few awkward moments.

“It’s much better, thanks.” He took another step closer to her so she could now smell his cologne mixed with another scent that was all him. “How is your mom doing?”

“She’s making a lot of progress.  We’re hoping she’ll be home within the next week or so.”

“That’s great news.  I’ve been thinking a lot about her lately…and you,” he added and Mallory felt her stomach tie in knots as her face flushed.

The silence settled in and she looked around nervously, wondering what she should say.  She was fighting every fiber in her body from closing the small gap between them and wrapping her arms around him.  She’d spent the last month forcing
herself not to miss him.  She’d made herself not think of him, but as he stood only a couple of feet away, all of that hard work was washed away.  There was a reason when she’d broken up with him that she’d shunned him from her life.  It was because she knew if she was near him, she’d want to cave and put everything back the way it’d been before her mom’s accident and she could not let that happen.

“You look beautiful tonight, Mallory,” he said, his eyes spanning the length of her body.

“Thanks,” she said. “This isn’t usually my style, but…” she began, but he cut her off.

“
Just take the compliment.  You really don’t grasp how beautiful you are.” He was smiling sweetly at her and she just nodded and smiled back through the blush and managed a soft, “Thank you.”

“You’re here with Cole, I see,” Ryan said and Mallory thought she noticed the softness he’d been looking at her with replaced with derision.

“Yeah.  He asked me to come.”

“You looked pretty content on the dance floor earlier,” he said and she felt herself cringe.  He’d seen her dancing with Cole and she suddenly felt overcome with guilt. 

“Ryan,” she began, but he stopped her.

“Are you and Cole giving it another go then?”

“We’re just friends, you know that.”

“You appeared to be much more than friends.  I’m just telling you that from an outsider’s perspective.” There was sarcasm laced in his voice, but it wasn’t that thick and she didn’t blame him for it either, not after the way she’d just up and ended things between them. 

“I’m sorry, Ryan.  Cole’s been so supportive since everything happened with my mom.”

“I’m glad he’s been there for you, but you know, I would’ve been there for you too, if you had given me a chance.”

Her eyes grew warm with tears as his words reverberated in her mind.  She hadn’t given him a chance, but as she looked over his serious looking suit and earpiece, she was reminded of his life and who he was and she told herself she’d made the right decision. 

“It’s for the best, Ryan.  If you really think about it, you’ll see I’m right.”

Ryan just folded his arms across his chest.

“That’s where we’ll have to agree to disagree,” he said and then unfolded his arms.  He stepped even closer an
d gently took her hand in his. “I miss you, Mallory, and despite what you say, I know you miss me too.”

Their eyes locked
and her breath quickened along with her heartbeat.  She wasn’t sure how long they stood like that, but she eventually forced herself to pull her hand and her eyes away from his. 

“Ryan, please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“At least I know you still love me.  I can take that with me.”

He stepped back and she felt like she could breathe again.

“Take that with you?  Are you leaving?”

“I’ve got no reason to stay anymore.”

“But summer’s not over yet.  The Bushes always stay through the summer…at least through Labor Day.”

“I’ve got a new assignment.  When it came open, I decided it was time for a change.  Like I said, I’ve got no reason to stay.”

She swallowed through the lump in her throat.  She knew he would leave eventually and even though they were no longer together, she’d liked knowing he was close by.  Now he was leaving and it hit her that this time was really goodbye.  She wouldn’t see him again.

“Good luck, with wherever it is you’re going,” she choked out and before the tears could fall, she turned to finish her walk to the house.  She had to get away from him.  She’d been doing so well, but one little meeting had turned her into an emotional wreck. 

She was stopped though when she felt his hand grip her arm and she whipped around to see him staring intently at her.

“I love you, Mallory,” he said and she thought she heard his voice quiver momentarily. “Just be happy, okay?  Whatever you do, make sure it’s for you and no one else.  Whatever you want to do in life, do it.  Promise me that.”

She couldn’t fight the tears now and they fell slowly down her cheeks as she mustered up the ability to speak.

“I promise,” she said softly before tearing her arm from his grasp and rushing to the safety of the house.

Mallory made it to the bathroom and quickly shut the door, grateful for the sanctuary it provided.  She was almost positive too many eyebrows hadn’t raised when she’d rushed into the house and up the stairs.  Now that she was alone, she sat on the edge of the tub and put her head in her hands. 

Ryan’s touch
still burned on her arm and it killed her knowing she’d never feel it again.  Why had she agreed to come?  If she’d stayed home, she wouldn’t have seen him and she wouldn’t be a wreck right now.  She’d come to terms with her decision regarding her relationship with Ryan.  She’d convinced herself it had been what was best for both of them.  She’d told herself it needed to be done.  He’d been too much of a distraction that she couldn’t have when she had other responsibilities to focus on. But after seeing him again, she was questioning everything.

“No,” she said aloud, shaking her head and standing up. “You are not doing this, Mallory.”

She walked over to the mirror, the same mirror she’d looked into when she’d arrived at the party, but the reflection was much different this time.  Her eyes were red and her face was dry from the tears.  Reaching for a tissue, she dabbed at her eyes, trying to wipe away the smudged mascara.  She hated crying.  She’d never been a pretty crier.  Her face always turned into a splotchy mess and tonight was no different. 

She fixed
herself up as best she could by straightening her hair and actually powdering her nose to cover some of the redness.  She just shook her head at the irony and then sat back down on the tub to allow her face to return to its normal color before going back to Cole.  She had no clue how long she’d been gone from the table, but she knew it was too long and Cole would be concerned.

Nicholas Mitchell Hollins.  Cole. 
One of her best friends.  A friend who was always there.  A friend who loved her.  Cole was safe.  Cole was familiar.  Cole was exactly what she needed if she wanted to get past this. 

Getting
up from her spot on the tub, she took a deep breath before leaving the privacy of the bathroom.  When she exited the house, she took a different route to the tent, not wanting to risk another run in with Ryan.  The band got louder as she got closer and she noticed people had started dancing since dinner was over. 

When she got to the table, Cole was sitting, sipping at a glass of wine. 
The table was empty, which she was grateful for, but that meant she’d been gone longer than she thought.

“Hey!” Cole said when he saw her. “I was about to send in a search party.  Is everything alright?”

He stood up and pulled the chair out for her.  She ignored the gesture though and continued to stand.

“Yeah.
  Everything’s fine.  I just got caught up in a conversation.”

“Oh yeah?
  With who?” he asked and Mallory wondered if he suspected anything.

“Just the caterer.
  I was telling her how good everything was,” she lied, blurting out the first plausible explanation she could think of.  Cole just nodded, so Mallory took that as if he believed her.

“
Wanna dance again?” he asked, changing the subject.

“No,” she said quickly. “Actually, I was wondering if we could get outta here.  I want to talk to you.”

“We can go over by the pond.  There’s no one over there.  It’ll offer us privacy, if that’s what you need,” he said and she couldn’t help but notice the nerves in his voice.

“No.  I’d rather go,” she said, not wanting Ryan anywhere near her.

“Sure.  Okay.  Let me go say goodbye to my mom,” he said, walking over and interrupting his parents, who were waltzing on the dance floor.  He whispered something and then they all turned to look at Mallory for a moment before Mr. and Mrs. Hollins nodded their heads.  Cole was at her side a moment later. “Alright, let’s go.”

****

“Just stop right here,” Mallory said after they’d been driving aimlessly for fifteen minutes.  She hadn’t wanted to go home and they couldn’t stay at his place, so she’d finally told him to stop when they came to a familiar overlook.  Cole pulled in and turned off the engine.  It was dark outside and the light of a half-moon overhead barely illuminated Cole’s profile.  They hadn’t said much during the drive and Mallory knew he was nervous.  She was nervous too.

“So, what’d you
wanna talk about?” he finally asked.

“On the boat last week, you said we were different people when we dated.”
Adjusting herself so her body was facing him, Cole’s eyes stayed focused on the blackness of the water for a moment, before he turned his head to meet her eyes.

“I said that because it’s true.”

“I know it’s true and I think you might be right.”

“You do
?” His voice was thick with nerves now, but she could see his eyes were hopeful.

“I think we might have a shot this time around.  I realized that tonight.” She knew she should be smiling, but her face stayed in a straight line.  Cole’s face, however, was a different
story entirely. His mouth curled up into a slow smile and he reached over the console and took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together. “I don’t even know if this will work, but you’ve been so good to me ever since I met you and especially since my mom’s stroke.  You mean a lot to me, Cole.  Let’s just take it slow and see what happens, okay?”

“I think that sounds like a great idea.” He pulled her hand to his lips and gently kissed the back of it.  It was tender and sweet, but she’d be kidding herself if she believed it caused her to feel half of what she felt when Ryan’s lips touched her skin.  It felt nice though and she knew, given time, she might come to have those same feelings for Cole.  She wanted this with Cole.  She wanted to be happy with Cole.  She needed to be happy with Cole so her life in Kennebunkport cou
ld remain her focus.  When he returned to Harvard, a long-distance relationship would work, without a doubt.  It’d give her the space she needed and she knew her mom would be thrilled when she learned Mallory and Cole were a couple again.  Perhaps it would give her mother the boost she needed to come home and perhaps it would help her to forget about Ryan…or at least distract her until she could forget. 

She knew he was going to kiss her and as his lips drew closer to
hers, her heart sped up in nervous anticipation.  When they’d kissed in the water, she couldn’t deny it was intense, and she wondered how his lips would feel now that they were together again. He kissed her tenderly and she smiled as she felt a little stirring in her stomach and a spark on her lips.