Heroes In Uniform (145 page)

Even riled up she recognized the edge in his voice. She supposed he didn’t like the formality, being reminded that he couldn’t simply slip back into the role of close family friend when and if it pleased him. Well, he couldn’t.

“I don’t want your help,
Grif
. If that’s why you came, you might as well just drop out of our lives again.”

At The Heart’s Command: Chapter Four

Ellyn’s declaration was barely out of her mouth when she turned and started up the steps.

Grif reached for her, but he was too late.

He smacked the edge of his fist against the railing.
Real smooth, Griffin. You handled that just great
.

“Ellyn – ”

He was following her, not sure what he’d say or do, when the back door opened and Luke appeared, drying his hands on a bandanna.

The foreman looked from one to the other before saying, “Sorry, Ellyn, no luck.”

“Okay. Thanks for trying, Luke. I really appreciate it.” She patted the foreman’s arm affectionately, then turned to Grif with her hand extended for shaking and her voice distant. “And thank you, Grif, for the lovely dinner. I hope you have a wonderful time during your visit. We might run into each other while you’re here, but in case we don’t, I want to say I’m glad things are going so well for your career, and I wish you great continued success. Goodbye. Good night, Luke.”

“Night, Ellyn.”

“Ellyn – ”

But she was gone before Grif’s protest had echoed to a close. There was no sense chasing after her while she was in that mood. ... Or while he couldn’t think of the words to make her see he was right.

Maybe words weren’t the way to go anyway. If he just did what needed doing, she’d find out soon enough that she hadn’t had the final word.

He turned to find Luke regarding him with a faint expression of sympathy. But the younger man said nothing as they fell into step heading down the driveway toward their vehicles.

“What were you working on?” Grif asked

“Dryer.”

Grif muttered a curse. “So that antique
is
broken. Why doesn’t she get a new one?”

“Ask her.”

“Hasn’t Marti – ?”

“She’s tried.”

Grif should have guessed that. And he should have known Ellyn would think Marti had already done enough – too much – in renting her Ridge House.

“There’s got to be a way...” he muttered.

“Good luck,” Luke said with a skeptical shake of his head.

Grif faced Luke as they came even with the ranch pickup. “How rough are they having it?” he asked.

“Up and down.”

“Money’s tight?”

Luke nodded. “Nobody’d let them go without necessities. But things like a dryer... That’s harder to slip in unnoticed.”

“This job of Ellyn’s...?”

“It’s their only regular income.”

“But Dale had insurance – ”

“He’d borrowed against it.”

“What the hell was he thinking?”

Luke looked at him from the shadow of his hat’s brim. “If anybody knew, I’d have thought it would be you.”

“In that case, nobody knows, because I sure don’t.”

As he shook the other man’s hand and climbed into his car to head for his temporary quarters at Fort Piney, he remembered the last time he’d talked to Dale Sinclair. A year ago January. Fifteen months ago.

* * *

“It's not turning out the way I thought it would.”

Grif stared across the small table at the man whose agitated phone call had brought him to this smoky, dingy bar at 2:23 in the morning. “What does that mean?”

Dale made a familiar, futile gesture, then wrapped his hands around his beer bottle. “It's hard to explain.”

“Try.”

“Remember the day we got married, Ellyn and me?”

He remembered.

Grif saw only the woman dressed in white, with a sheer veil covering her curling hair. The bouquet shifted as if her hands might be trembling, as she came down the aisle toward where he stood at the front of the church. Even through the veil, her expression radiated excitement and hope and love.

The excitement and hope and love weren’t for him. Could never be for him. She deserved more than he could ever give her. She deserved a home, a family, all that the right man could give her.

“I had dreams then. Now our life's all wrapped up with teacher days and doctors visits and – God! I mean, I love my kids. It's just... Hell, how could you understand? What do you know about marriage or family life. It's more than that, anyhow. It's everything. And Ellyn. She's changed or... I don't know, but... She's not what I expected and – ”

“I'm not the one you should be saying this to.”

His voice was strained enough to catch even Dale’s self-absorbed attention. “Why not? You're my friend.”

Ellyn and Dale apart ... Ellyn free ... Ellyn ...

He took a slow pull on the bottle, forcing the liquid down his tight throat, down toward the sensation in his gut. Like something locked up for a long time was trying to get loose.

“It's like you said, Dale, what do I know about all this. Nothing. You should be talking to somebody – a therapist, a counselor – somebody who'll help you and Ellyn.”

“I don’t know. I’ve got a bag in my car. A clean break – ”

“
Clean break
? You think it’ll feel like a
clean break
for Ellyn or the kids? You go back and try to work this out – ”

“If it were right, it wouldn’t be so much work.”

Grif looked at the face he’d known most of his life.

“How would you know, Dale? You’ve never worked at anything. You’ve got charm, looks and some brains, and you’ve coasted, moving on anytime a job or situation or people got a little tough. But this time, you’re going to go home – to your wife and your kids – and try like hell to work it out. You’d be an idiot to give up the family you have, a family men dream about.”

* * *

Dale had spluttered and protested, but in the end he’d done what Grif had ordered. Except he hadn’t really. He’d moved them two-thirds of the way across the country, then gotten himself killed.

Grif blinked back to the present. He’d pulled the car nearly off the road in the stretch between Ellyn’s and Kendra’s houses where he’d be out of sight. He stared at a jutting outcropping of rock well up Crooked Mountain, the spot they’d always called Leaping Star’s overlook.

He didn’t believe in this stuff Ellyn had said about a Susland Curse, but the legend was a damned sad story, especially for the Indian woman and her children, who’d never done anyone any harm yet paid the price.

Just like Ellyn and her kids.

Maybe Dale hadn’t asked to get killed, but he sure could have left his wife and kids better provided for.

And him? If he’d stayed around...

No, that was one decision he knew was right. No matter how Ellyn and the kids blamed him for disappearing, he couldn’t have stuck around once Dale’s confession had let Grif’s feelings for Ellyn shoulder their way past his barriers.

Those barriers were there for a good reason.

He just hoped he’d done enough repairs to them over these past fifteen months to keep from doing any more damage while he was here.

* * *

The campfire burned for four days and four nights on the outcropping on Crooked Mountain before Charles Susland rode up the mountainside. He’d have ignored Annalee’s carrying on about it, but she was expecting again and he wanted another son.

The Crow woman rose slowly when he rode into her camp.

“You have no place here, woman.”

“This is my place, my only place, my people’s place,” she said. “They brought you to it when you took me as wife. They helped you. And you took our place.”

“Far Hills is mine. I built it.Go back to the reservation, Leaping Star.”

“Your children die there. Your son, your daughter. Runs At Dawn will follow if you do not care for her.There is nothing left in me.”

“I can’t go running off leaving Far Hills. And I have a son to care for here. A white son, who’ll carry on what I build.” He would have ridden away then if he could have, but Leaping Star’s will was still too strong for him.

“Charles Susland. You turn away from your children, so your blood will be alone. You turn away from my people, so your blood will have no home. You turn away from me, so your blood will be lost. Only when someone loves enough to undo your wrongs will the laughter of children live beyond its echo in Far Hills.

“If these wrongs are not righted in five generations of your blood, Far Hills will be ever silent.”

One more night the fire burned on the outcropping. Then it went out.

* * *

A sound woke Grif to instant alertness.

The room was empty, still, safe. The unfamiliarity of the room didn’t bother him; the unfamiliarity itself was familiar. It took him another moment to realize the sound was his own harsh breathing. He was slicked in sweat, as if he’d been surrounded by the fire of his dream.

He forced himself to lie still, to breathe slowly and calmly.

He hadn’t had the dream in a long time. He’d come to terms with it long ago. He’d heard of people dreaming of showing up in public without their clothes or arriving in a new class only to discover it was the day of the final exam. He accepted this dream as his personalized version of that. He’d had the dream sometimes as a kid. More recently a time or two right before he went into an action.

Why tonight? No mystery there. Being back at Far Hills and Ellyn’s talk about the legend triggered memories of a campfire story.

Had nothing to do with him. Or his mission.

* * *

Parking in front of the Far Hills Market, Grif spotted Ellyn in the open garage door of Mechanic Ed’s shop kitty-corner from the Market. Beyond her, inside the garage bay, he recognized her aging Suburban.

He headed directly for her. Even when Grif was a kid, Ed Bressler had a reputation for running roughshod over his customers, especially women.

“...and any item that’s not properly itemized, I won’t be paying for.”

“Ellyn, that’s not hardly fair – ”

“We’ve agreed. Here’s the list. You sign both copies, then I’ll sign them, too, and we’ll be all set.”

Ed grumbled, but signed the paper Ellyn placed on the bumper. As she added her signature, the gray-haired mechanic looked up and spotted Grif. “Well, if it ain’t the general!”

Ellyn’s pause as she folded one copy of the paper and slipped it into her purse was so slight that someone not watching her carefully would have missed it. Grif didn’t miss it.

“You’re a few promotions ahead of the Army, Ed. How are you doing? Hi, Ellyn.”

“Can’t complain. Except when this one comes around.” The older man gestured toward Ellyn. “Orders me around, and cuts my profit to worse than nothing.”

“Morning, Grif.” Had he imagined a note that indicated she would have preferred not to see him? “Ed, you’re not doing so bad. You got another brand new snowmobile this winter, didn’t you?”

“I gotta have some fun in life, don’t I?”

“Of course. As long as it’s not all at my expense.”

Ed grinned, not the least abashed. “No, ma’am! Don’t you worry, Ellyn, your vehicle will be ready come three o’clock.”

“Good. Thank you, Ed.”

She gave Grif a slight smile as she started past him. He waved to Ed Bressler, and followed her.

“You need a ride, Ellyn?”

“Oh, no. Thank you. I’m just going to the
Banner
.”

“I could drive you – ”

“That’s not necessary. It’s a few blocks and I have to stop at the post office on the way.”

“Mind if I walk with you?” When she didn’t answer right away, he added, “I’d like to say hello to Larry. He was in D.C. a few years back and we got together.”

“I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you,” was her nonanswer.

They had little need for conversation as they walked because they were kept busy answering greetings. Most of them for Ellyn, but a fair share for Grif.

“You’re surprised so many people remember you, aren’t you?” she asked as they headed into the post office.

Almost as surprised as he was that she’d spotted and identified his reaction. He’d have said she wasn’t paying any attention to him at all.

“I was a summer visitor for a few years, nothing more. A long time ago.”

“A lot more than a casual summer visitor,” she disputed. “You’re a Susland. A Susland of Far Hills Ranch, and that counts for something around here.”

He shrugged. “It has more to do with the people doing the remembering than with me.”

“They
are
nice people around here, aren’t they?”

Actually, he’d been thinking they didn’t have a lot to keep them occupied, otherwise they wouldn’t have had attention left over to remember from all those years ago. But that seemed damned churlish to say now. “I suppose so.”

She eyed him a moment, then turned to racks in the lobby holding tax return forms and information.

What was with everyone acting like this was some emotional homecoming for him? How could someone who’d never had a home, have a homecoming?

“What are you getting those for?” he asked, mostly to fill the silence.

She looked over her shoulder. “If I wanted wallpaper, I’d go with something a little more decorative.” He grinned at her sassy tone, and thought she fought to hold off an answering grin. “What do you think I’m getting these for? To do my taxes.”

“Yourself? You didn’t used to do your taxes.”

“No, Dale had an accountant. But doing them myself is one fee I can save. Besides, I already did a good portion of the work, gathering all the information.”

“Why not do them online?”

“The internet has not reached Ridge House yet. Maybe next year. Actually, I had them all done, but a glass of orange juice somehow was spilled on them this morning, so I need clean forms.”

“You never were much of a morning person. You should be more careful,” he deadpanned as they headed out.

“Me!” she started indignantly. Then she caught herself and smiled wryly. “You’re right, I should have picked the papers up before they fell into harm’s way, but...”