Hey There, Delilah... (18 page)

What a fucking mess. I’m talking about everything - my office, my hair, even my clothes. Files, papers, and just what-the-fuck-ever is piled up all over my desk. This is usually the stuff that Delilah keeps organized and neatly filed. I didn’t even bother putting anything in my hair this morning, so it’s doing whatever the hell it wants. I keep raking my hand through it because it keeps falling down into my eyes, so that’s not helping it any. My shirt and pants are wrinkled because I ended up sleeping here last night; I was trying to catch up on some things and ended up falling asleep in my chair, not waking up until this morning at 8:00 am. I couldn’t bother running home to shower and change.

This whole week has been a nightmare. I lost Delilah on Monday,
and the work has been piling up since then. I lost a major case on Tuesday because I wasn’t as prepared as I should have been. I got into a fender bender on Wednesday with my McLaren, so now my car is in the shop and I’m stuck with a piece of shit rent-a-car for a week or two. Not to mention the fact that it is going to cost me tens of thousands to fix.

It’s now Thursday and I’m about ready to lose my fucking mind. My heart has been aching since Delilah left and I just don’t know what to do about it. I’ve never been in this position before.
No woman, since my mother, has made my heart ache, and I don’t like it one fucking bit. To tell you the truth, I haven’t let one get close enough to find out. I usually drop them before I develop any feelings whatsoever - even faster if they start feeling something.

I called Calvin yesterday and apologized, so we’re cool again, but I have yet to call Delilah. I don’t know what to say to her
, and I know “sorry” isn’t going to cut it. I absolutely have to do something soon, though, because I can’t have my office looking like this any longer. The disorganization and disarray is affecting every aspect of my life.  I need to either call Delilah to beg her to come back, or try to hire someone else; that thought, though, just turns my stomach.

I’m sitting at my desk with my head in my hands whe
n there is a knock on my door. I lift my head wearily to see Carmella standing in the doorway, a cup of coffee in her hand. She gives me a warm smile and starts forward.

“I thought you could use this,” she says sweetly and extends the coffee to me.

I take it from her and give her a tight smile. “Thank you, Carmella.”

“No offense, hon, but this place looks like shit and so do you,” Carmella snorts as she looks around my office.

I grunt in agreement and take a sip of the coffee.

“Have you called Delilah?” s
he asks, her eyes coming back to meet mine.

I shake my head. “No.”

“And why the hell not?” she asks sharply, shoving her hands on her hips.

I sigh heavily and lean
back in my chair. “I don’t know. She probably hates me and doesn’t want to talk to me anyway.”

“Oh
, bullshit, Nick. You are just being stubborn. You may not be used to having to chase after a woman, but guess what buddy, Delilah is not going to make the first move. That has to be you,” Carmella says, giving me a pointed look.

I groan and scrub my hand over my scruffy jaw, which definitely needs a trim. “I don’t know what to say to her. I screwed up, I hurt her, and I don’t know what to say or do to fix it.”

“Why don’t you go over to her place? I’m sure once you see her you’ll know what to say,” she says.

“I do
n’t know…” I hedge. I’m not even sure what I want at the moment. Part of me wants to get Delilah back, but then the other part thinks I should move on and forget about her.

“She’s not going to wait forever. She’s going to move on, get another job, another boyfriend…once her heart heals, you will have less of a chance of getting her back,” Carmella says seriously then starts for the door.
Another boyfriend? Was I her boyfriend? And how the hell did Carmella know about Delilah and me?

As soon as Carmella leaves and is out of sight, I decide
it’s time for a major temper tantrum. I shove out of my chair so hard that it tips backward and crashes to the floor. I chuck the cup of coffee Carmella just gave me at the window that overlooks Delilah’s desk. Of course, it explodes all over the window and splashes back onto the carpet. I swipe an arm across my desk, sending papers and files all over the fucking place. I yell wordlessly in aggravation as I turn and punch a hole in the wall behind my desk.

“
Motherfucker!” I cry and shake my hand out. Damn it, that hurt, and now I have to have someone come fix the hole in the wall. 
Nice job, dumbass!

Y
ou know what? Fuck Delilah! I already apologized to her. I shouldn’t have to do it a million times. I don’t know what she is so mad about in the first place. So what if I didn’t tell her! She didn’t have to make it a bigger deal than it really is! I can find someone else to do her job, and have a ton of women who would chop off their own leg to spend one night with me. So guess what Delilah? You can suck my big fat cock!

♫♩♫♩♫♩
♫

I walk into Club M on Saturday completely set on hooking up with someone, get out my frustrations, and get over Delilah. My mask tonight is a navy blue and very simple. I also decided to go for a more casual feel, with a nice blue and white striped button down and dark blue jeans. I see Calvin as I walk in and give him a nod. He raises a hand in greeting before going back to typing on his messenger. I head straight to the bar and grab my usual. I scan the crowd as I sip my drink. There are a couple of possibilities for me tonight. My gaze lands on a fiery red head down the bar. Hmm, I haven’t had a red head in a while. She is wearing a gold mask to match her outfit, which consists of black leather looking leggings and a metallic gold shirt that has no back to it other than one thin strap holding it together.

I get the bartender to get me her number,
and then the flirting begins. I do my usual  “I can see you but you can’t see me” spiel to determine if I want it to go any further. She seems receptive and curious. No witty banter like you know who, but that’s not what I am looking for tonight. I just need a wham bam thank you ma’am.  So, I reveal myself and ask her to dance. She was an okay dancer, nothing special, not like Delilah. Fuck! Stop thinking about her!

Anyway, after a few dances, I suggest going up to my VIP room. Red Apple #331 – her
God-awful nickname – agrees. I take her hand and lead her up to my VIP room. As soon as I walk into the room, I’m slammed with memories of LaLa – Delilah – damn it! First off,
Let’s Get It On
is playing. The same song that was playing the first time I brought Delilah here. I’m going to have to talk to Calvin about his song selection. Secondly, the room actually smells like her. Did I not change the sheets the last time we were here? Maybe it’s just in my head.

I’m so caught up in my thoughts that I don’t even notice that Big Red
- the name I dub her - has turned around in front of me. She grabs my face and kisses me. Well, it’s more like she’s trying to eat my face. Her hands are all over me, trying to rip me out of my clothes. Jesus Christ, I brought a wild animal to my room! I tear my mouth away from hers but she latches onto my neck instead. Nothing she is doing is in any way pleasurable. If I’m going to be honest, it’s downright turning me off. What was I thinking bringing another woman up here? To a room that has become more than just a place for me to screw a bunch of different women. It’s become our room - LaLa’s and mine - together. Goddamnit! I try pushing at the crazed woman who is now trying to get her hands down my pants, but she doesn’t seem to want to budge.

“For fuck’s sake! Just stop!” I shout and tear her hands
off me and take a few steps back from her.

“What the hell? I thought we’re not supposed t
o talk?” she snips.

“Yeah
, well, you obviously don’t know how to take a hint when I’m trying to push you back,” I snap in return.

“Because I thought the whole point of coming up here was to fuck
.  So why would you be pushing me away?” She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest.

“I’ve changed my mind, alright? Can you just leave?” I sigh and drop down to the edge of the bed.

“Are you for real?” Red snaps angrily.

I
bring my eyes up to meet hers; I know how they look, too - cold and hard. Big Red shrinks back slightly.

“I swear, if you make me get up to throw you out, you are not going to like it,” I growl.

Lucky for her, she sees how serious I am and races out. I drop my head into my hands and groan. This is so stupid. What the hell has gotten into me? I should have been able to bang that chick, no problem. Damn Delilah, it’s all her fault. She’s ruined all other women for me.

“You know, I’ve heard of one minute men, but I’ve never actually met one before,” A sarcastic voice says from the doorway, making my head fly up to see who it is.

A blonde woman walks in, her mask a vibrant purple. She looks seriously familiar but I just can’t place her. She shuts and locks the door behind her. I straighten up, not knowing what she wants. She starts toward me in a very purposeful manner. There is nothing sexual about it, but she definitely looks like she is on a mission. She stops a few feet in front of me and pulls her mask off. I suck in a sharp breath. Aw, shit! I’m in so much trouble!

“Hello, Nick,” purrs Delilah
’s best friend, Charlie, with a very hard “n” and “k.”

I gape at her for a moment before I can even think of anything to say. “Wha…how did you get in here?” I ask, taking my mask off since she knows
who I am.

“Please, I just followed you up and waited for the Red Baron to leave,” Charlie snorted.

“Nothing happened with her, I swear!” I exclaim, standing up and taking a step in her direction.

“Mmm hmm, that’s why her lipstick is all over your mouth and neck,” Charlie says dryly, picking at her fingernails.

“I…no…wait! She attacked me!” I stammer and scrub my mouth with the sleeve of my shirt.

Charlie gives me a bored look. “Look
, Romeo, I don’t really give a shit about your sex life. What I do give a shit about, is that your hurt my best friend,” she says as she resolutely walks toward me.

I back up as she advances on me. The backs of my knees hit the bed and I’
m forced to sit. Charlie stops in front of me and pokes me hard in the chest.

“I don’t like when guys like you think they can walk all over my friend and get away with it,” Charlie growls.

“Charlie, I…” I start, but she cuts me off.

“Shut up, Nick. I don’t want to hear your excuses. Do you have any idea what Delilah has been doing this past week? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! She’s been holed up in her bedroom, curled up in a ball in her bed. I had to go in there, physically drag her out
, and force her to shower and eat something. I’ve never, in all of our years of friendship, seen her like that.”

I stare at Charlie in
shock. She has to be lying. There is no way my strong, independent, happy, self-assured Delilah has locked herself away in her room because of something I did. I start to shake my head in disbelief.

“You’re lying,” I rasp.

“No, I’m not,” Charlie states and paces away from me. “I wish I were,” she whispers.

I hang my head. “I’m such an ass.”

Charlie barks out a laugh and swings back around to face me. “At least you can admit it!”

“I se
riously never meant to hurt her.” I frown.

Charlie sighs heavily. “Sadly, I actually believe you.” She sits down on the bed next to me. “Why didn’t you just tell her that you knew?”

“I don’t know! I was confused and just plain stupid. I didn’t think it would hurt her this badly.”

“Do you even know why she is so hurt?” Charlie asks softly.

I glance over at her, feeling like an idiot. “No,” I say truthfully. “She said I betrayed her trust, but I don’t know what I did that betrayed her trust.”

“Nick, you sat there and let her pour her heart out to you about a guy she was seeing, knowing the whole time that she was talking about you. You let her say those things because you wanted to know what she thought. That was wrong, Nick. That’s what she considered a betrayal. Plus
, on top of that, you distanced yourself from her - both at work and as Nico - without any explanation. That made her think that she did something wrong or wasn’t good enough for you.”

I groan and drop my head into my hands again. Charlie pats me on the back.

“Don’t worry, most guys are just as dumb as you are.” She snickers.

“Thanks a lot. What
am I supposed to do now?” I ask, hoping she knows the secret to attain absolution.

“Grovel until your knees bleed,” Charlie says as she stands and starts for the door. “Oh
, and make it quick. She has a job interview on Monday,” she says before sending me a wink and walking out the door.

That chick is a character, but a gre
at friend to Delilah all the same. I really need to set her up with Calvin, he would get a kick out of her. But she’s right. I need to apologize to Delilah and try to make things right between us. I miss her and I want her. I really don’t want to be with any other woman. She’s all that I can think about and that has to mean something, right?