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I grip her shoulders, determination stealing over me. “We’re going to find her.” She’s the only parent we have left. Now with the truth of Dad’s fate choking me, I feel Mom’s void all the more keenly.

A branch snaps. We both turn to see Will. He stops, holding up a hand as if to apologize for intruding.

“It’s okay.” Tamra sniffs, and wipes at her wet cheeks. “I—I need a moment alone.”

“You don’t have to—” Will starts to say, but she shakes her head and slips past him.

I stare up at Will, feeling raw and exposed, broken. Like I’ll never be whole again.

Then he’s there, pulling me into his arms. I sag against him, let him support me. He sighs my name. “Jacinda.”

I grip his shirt tightly, my fingers bloodless as they squeeze. “He’s really gone,” I say, looking into his ever-changing eyes.

“I know, I know,” he croons.

“I always wanted the truth … but deep down I believed he was alive. I realize that now. All this time—I never thought he was really gone.”

“It’s better you know. No more wondering and uselessly guessing.”

The tears roll down my cheeks. I’m convinced there’s nothing
better
about this. Before I had hope. Now I have nothing. Nothing but grief in the absolute certainty that Dad is dead. I’ll never see him again.

If possible, I hold on to Will even tighter. As if that can somehow ease this gnawing pain. But the pain only grows. Blossoms in my chest until an emotion even more powerful takes over. Fury swells inside me as new, ugly thoughts push their way into my head. And I let it—I let the fury take over.

I drag a burning breath deep inside where it only grows hotter. Someone betrayed my father, and it doesn’t take long to conclude who that someone probably was.
Severin
. Corbin had plainly conveyed his uncle’s animosity toward my father—how threatened Severin felt by my father. But Dad hadn’t been trying to take over. He just wanted to take his family elsewhere, away from the pride. Too bad we didn’t escape before he was led into a trap.

I exhale through my nose, flexing my clenched fingers, loosening their grip on Will, not needing to hang on so tightly anymore, as new purpose fills me. I know what I have to do. I’m going back. Back to the pride.

Before I sought truth. Now I seek justice.

Only when I find it, when the traitor is revealed and punished for what he did to Dad, can I heal. Then I’ll be free.

16

L
ittle has been said since my return to the van with Will. We all sit shell-shocked in the back, numb expressions on our faces. My stomach rolls sickly. First the encounter with the hunters, then learning that Miram is a ticking time bomb, and then the news about Dad. What’s next? I feel the van shudder to a stop as if it, too, is exhausted.

We have finally reached the truck stop where we left Will’s Land Rover. This is where Will and Tamra and I are supposed to at last part ways with Cassian and Miram. This is when I finally leave the pride behind me.

Only I can’t do that.

I should know by now that nothing is as simple as I expect. Even if I didn’t know the truth about Dad, there’s still Miram. Something has to be done about her tracking implant. Although she’s Severin’s daughter, and even worked for him, spying on me, I’m not going to take it out on her.

I take a pained blink. Is this ever going to get easy? Ever not be so … hard?

Stepping out, I glance around at our new surroundings. We’re parked behind a deserted gas station, which blocks us from view of the road and the cars that whip past. I shift where I stand. Loose asphalt crumbles beneath my shoes, weeds growing between the uneven cracks. Will’s Land Rover sits close by, right where we left it.

The van doors remain open, but Deghan stays hidden within. Tamra emerges, but hovers close to the doors, her body angled toward the hulking gray draki, whose eyes never leave her. A strange, unspoken bond has formed between them since our encounter with the hunters. It’s like they’re linked by some invisible cord.

I roll my eyes. Now isn’t the time for Tamra to develop some kind of puppy-love infatuation with a draki who can’t even access his human side anymore. This strikes me as especially ironic since not that long ago Tamra was unable to access her draki self.

“What now?” she asks me, even as her gaze drifts toward Deghan.

I look pointedly at him. “He has to go to the pride. Like Cassian said.”

Tamra’s lips flatten into a thin line. I know her expressions well. She’s grown even more attached to Deghan than I realized if the idea of leaving him bothers her this much. She looks on the verge of saying something when Will speaks.

“Well,” Will announces. “I guess this is good-bye.” Nothing can hide the eager light from his eyes. He’s waited a long time for this. We both have.

But I can’t ignore the tiny flare of panic flickering inside my chest.
This is it
. I have to break it to him now.

“I suppose so.” Cassian nods brusquely, revealing none of his regret at parting ways with us. With
me
. But I feel it anyway—a stinging burn behind my eyes. “We’ll take the van. The hunters should have no memory of it, thanks to Tamra.”

Thanks to Tamra the hunters shouldn’t remember
us
. Period.

I glance at Miram. She’s moved a small distance from the rest of us. She hugs herself and stares into the distant tree line, and I wonder at her thoughts.

Will’s voice comes from beside me. “Ready?”

Turning, I meet his gaze and stare at him a long time. Long enough for him to know something’s wrong, long enough for a wariness to fall over his face.

His eyes sharpen. “Jacinda?”

I shrug feebly, and hold up a hand in supplication, willing him to understand what I’m about to say. And all I see at that moment is the purple plastic ring on my finger. It mocks me as the words spill from my lips: “We can’t just let them go back by themselves. Cassian still isn’t a hundred percent. What if they’re tracked down by hunters before reaching the pride?”

And there’s more. More I can’t admit aloud yet. I want to avenge my father. I want everyone to know what happened to him. I want my father’s killer brought to justice. My hands curl tightly at my sides, opening and closing. Cassian shoots me a curious look and I force my hands to still.

As the first draki to break into an enkros stronghold I’ll have credibility. I helped rescue Miram … and another draki—a witness to my father’s death. Deghan is all the proof I need. The pride will listen and then it’ll be Severin’s turn to stand trial before everyone—exposed for his crimes. My pulse skitters in anticipation at the prospect.

Cassian looks between me and Will, his eyes suddenly bright. I feel his hope. It swells through me in a giddy, bubbling rush.

“Come with me, Will. See this thing through with me.” I watch him. I wait, breathless, my chest unbearably tight with the notion that he’ll refuse. That he won’t want to come with me. That he’ll hear my words and turn away from me. My thumb rolls the plastic band of the ring. “I know it’s a lot to ask …” I drop my gaze to my hands. “I understand if you can’t come with me …”
But it will break my heart
.

He storms away without a word. Something shudders inside me as I watch his retreat. He doesn’t move to the van, instead marches past the dilapidated building. I shoot everyone a quick glance and then follow, running after him. “Will! Will, wait!”

He rounds the building’s side. As he passes an old vending machine, he turns and sends his fist into the ancient, stained plastic front. The yellowed plastic shatters into tiny pieces everywhere.

I stop, panting less from my short run and more from my anxiousness to reach him. He braces both hands on each side of the old machine with his head bowed, neck muscles straining with tension.

I wet my lips and glance behind me to make sure no one has followed. “Will?” I’ve never seen him this angry … this unrestrained. I’m not sure what to say. “Are you okay?”

He looks up sharply, leveling me with eyes bright with fury. “Am I okay?”

I resist the urge to step back, instead just nod.

“Are you kidding?” The sound of his voice cuts me. He’s not the Will I know right then. Dirt stirs at my feet, curling tufts of earth, and I know it’s his doing, his anger affecting the very ground we stand on. “I’m starting to think we’re never going to be together, Jacinda.”

“Don’t say that.”

He waves a hand. “You don’t want to let any of it go. Not even for me.”

“That’s not true.”

“No?” He angles his head as he studies me. “Can you tell me that you’ll ever be able to let it go? The pride? Cassian?”

“Yes,” I say, glad to hear that my voice is strong and steady. “I will. We just have to do this one thing—”

“Going back to the pride is no small thing. Especially for you.” He swallows and I watch the cords of his throat work. “And me.”

I exhale and nod, a sinking feeling starting in my stomach. I’m asking a lot. Too much. “I can’t expect this of you. You’re right.” I bite into my lip, withering inside at what this means. “By now Corbin would have told them all about you.”

A stillness comes over him. “So what are you saying?”

What am I saying?

I swallow. “We can part ways. Temporarily, of course,” I quickly say. “We’ll meet later—”

He comes alive again. His hands close around my arms. “No. Not again. I’m not leaving you again, Jacinda. Not to face this alone.”

Relief ripples through me. But I push it away.

“No, you’re right,” I say, determined to keep him safe, but no less determined to see this through and get justice. “The risk for you is too great—”

He shakes his head fiercely, his eyes glinting. “We’re doing this.” He slides one hand along my face, his palm cupping my cheek. “And then we’ll see if you come up with another reason to keep us from being together. Then I’ll know.”

I shake my head. “It’s not like that—”

“Really? It’s not? You don’t feel bound to the pride? To Cassian?” He holds my gaze, unblinking.

Silence stretches. I wet my lips. “That’s not why …”

“Then what?” he asks, his eyes soft and melting as they delve into me. The plea there is something I can’t deny. Unable to stop myself, I lean into his hand, revel in the sensation of his skin against mine, the rasp of his calluses on the curve of my face.

“My father—” I stop as the look in his eyes sharpens with understanding.

My voice drops in a fervent, rushed whisper. The pain of my father’s death, his betrayal, stabs through me again with a sudden fierceness. I doubt it will ever go away. It will always be there, ready to greet me first thing every morning. But if I can achieve some retribution, perhaps it will soften the edges of the pain, make it more manageable. “I can’t let that go yet.”

“Will you ever, Jacinda? What if you don’t get the justice you want? How long can we do this? How long do we keep getting dragged back into the web of a life you claim to want no part of?”

“I’ve got to try. I’ll tell you when it’s over.” I wish I could give him a less lame answer than that, but it’s too complicated for anything else.

“You’ll tell me?” He arches an eyebrow.

“Yes.” I hold my breath, unsure of his response.

He smiles then. A crooked, self-deprecating little smile that makes my belly twist. “Okay, Jacinda. I’m in.”

He takes my hand and pulls me along. Something loosens and flutters inside me. I’m sure in a way I’ve never felt before. I know where it is I’m supposed to be. Forever and always. Whether I live among the pride—a new pride, changed for the better once Severin is deposed, or out in the human world—or maybe somehow straddling both worlds, I’m meant to be with Will. Us. That’s what I’ve been fighting for … and somewhere along the way I forgot that, too busy battling for other things: my draki, Mom, Tamra, Dad, Miram.

“Agreed?” He stops before we round the building, his hazel gaze fastened on me.

I nod. And I realize I’m both my strongest and weakest with him. And I guess that’s love. When you’re at your most vulnerable.

“I love you,” I say suddenly.

He blinks as though the words surprise him. Haven’t I told him that before? I thought I had … back in Chaparral, when I had to leave him. But I was in draki form then. He couldn’t have understood. Taking his face in both my hands, I stand on tiptoes. “I love you,” I repeat before I press my mouth to his, kissing him long and slow.

He hesitates only a moment before pulling me closer, tighter against him. Desperation burns between us. His hands move from my hair, to my arms, and my back. Roaming, touching me everywhere. As if I might disappear from him in the flash of a second. He spins me until my back is pressed against the brick wall. His mouth, my mouth … there is no distinction …

There’s only need.

He breaks away, his serrated breath a hot fan in my ear, thrilling me and spiking my pulse faster. His deep voice fills my ear. “We better get a move on.”

Reluctant, I nod and step back.

He looks over my shoulder as if he can see around the corner to the others. “With that homing device on Miram, hunters will be coming. It’s only a matter of time.”