Hidden Alpha [Alpha Mates] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (17 page)

Chase didn’t like it, but he could see her reasoning. He hated the fact that she had to have sex with someone just to save her life, but he was also enough of a selfish asshole to let her do it. He was not joking when he said that he would be lost without her. He had heard of wolves that had gone crazy after losing their mates. He took Devlin’s hand in his. “She’s right. Let’s go take care of the kids, and we’ll come take care of her in a little while.”

He could tell Devlin wanted to argue, but he didn’t. Instead, he hugged Amalya and gave her a kiss. “Okay, my love. If that is what you want. But if you need anything just holler, and we’ll be right here.” Devlin released her and stood up nose to nose with Gavin. Chase could barely hear the words that he spoke but thought it went something like, “If you hurt her, I don’t care if you’re our mate or not. You will never come near her or us again. You better thank the gods in the heavens that she is giving you a chance to make this right and not screw it up.” With that, Devlin left the room.

He gave her one more hug and kiss before standing and glaring at Gavin. “You treat her right, or you will answer to me. I don’t care if you’re an alpha or god himself. If you hurt her in any way, you will pay.”

Chase left the room. He leaned against the door for a few minutes. He could hear them quietly talking inside but couldn’t make out the words being spoken. He knew he had to give them some privacy but couldn’t get his feet to move.

He heard Anya crying from the nursery and knew it was time to go help Devlin with the children. He had two boys that were promised ice cream
again
and were probably begging Devlin for it at that very moment. With one final look at the closed door, he turned and walked away.

Amalya couldn’t believe the feelings going through her. She had loved Gavin for so long, and then he had left her. Her love soon turned to what she thought was hate when she discovered he was not coming back to her. Now he was here, and he was claiming her. She knew if she let him in her heart now, she would forgive him. She was already more than halfway to forgiving him now. She knew deep down she
would
forgive him and love him again, but she wanted him to suffer for a little while first. She wanted him to hurt the way she had when he had left her. She normally wasn’t a vindictive person, but she wanted revenge on him for breaking her heart.

Just seeing him watch her from across the room was enough to start breaking down the barrier she had built around her heart. He looked like he was in pain and in love at the same time. She couldn’t imagine why he would be in pain. It wasn’t like she had kicked him out. He had left her by his own free will.

She couldn’t deny her feeling for him any longer. While she had thought that she hated him and didn’t want him near her, she was wrong. She felt the same pull toward him that she had with Chase and Devlin when they met. She wanted to be near him. She wanted him to claim her. She just didn’t want him to know that quite yet. While she knew it was cruel of her to make him think she didn’t want him to touch her, it was the best payback she could come up with at that moment. She would continue with her plan to make him think she was an unwilling participant as long as she could.
He has to suffer somehow.

* * * *

Gavin walked around the side of the bed and started to sit down next to Amalya, but she held up her hand, stopping him.

“Wait right there. There are a few rules you need to abide by before anything happens.” He kept quiet and listened as she went on, “First of all, this is for Chase and Devlin. I don’t want them to be hurt. If it was just me I had to worry about, you wouldn’t be getting anywhere near me. When we are done, you will help me get in the shower and then go get Chase or Devlin to come help me. When I am ready to talk to you, I will come and find you. Do not bother me until then. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Amalya, I understand. I’m sorry it has to be like this. If there were another way, I would find it for you, but I don’t know what else to do. You need all of your mates to claim you before you will get better. Please believe me when I tell you how sorry I am that you have to go through this. If I could go back five years and never leave you, I would.”

His heart broke when she nodded and said, “Fine. Let’s get this over with.” She shimmied out of her panties she was wearing and rolled over onto her stomach, pulling her hair over her right shoulder, exposing the bite mark he had left on her five and a half years ago. The night he bit her and tasted her blood for the first time was the night he decided he couldn’t stay with her and had started making plans to leave. It had taken him six months to get everything in order for Garrett to take over the pack in his absence. Six months of hell. Six months of wanting to hold her, be with her, and love her, the way he was meant to. His original plan was to spend the summer with her and then leave in the fall. But he knew it was time to go when he came home the last day of school and saw the romantic dinner she had planned for them. She had been hinting more and more that she was ready to make love to him, and he was having a harder and harder time resisting her. When he saw the dinner, he knew he would have never been able to tell her no that night and had panicked. He went straight into the bedroom and packed his bag. He had held her tight one last time and told her he would be back before walking out the door. He had left town that very night and hadn’t returned until he heard she was missing.

On the drive down to Devlin’s land, Gavin had called Garrett for information on the other alpha and found out that Devlin and Chase took over their pack about four months after Gavin had left. All he would have had to do was wait four more months, and he would never have had to leave Amalya and hurt her. He couldn’t believe that their mates had been living a little over an hour away for the last four and a half years while he had been searching half the planet for them. He briefly wondered why they had never traveled to his pack lands before and found Amalya. Garrett had been invited as the alpha to their pack lands when they first took over and met them, and if Gavin had just stayed home where he belonged, he would have been the one to meet them that long ago. He could have saved Amalya from so much hurt and years alone. He knew it was fate that brought them all together at just the right time, but wished she had been a little quicker so Amalya wouldn’t have been hurt.

Gavin looked down at Amalya lying on the bed facedown, waiting for him to claim her. He wanted to make this special for her and make sure she enjoyed it, but he knew she wasn’t going to let him love her like he should. She probably didn’t realize it, but this was his first time. He had known on his seventeenth birthday that she was his mate, and he never wanted anyone else. He had never touched anyone. He had saved himself for his mate, and now he couldn’t even love her the way he should. He had always imagined that they would be each other’s first. Now she had two other mates that had already claimed her. He knew they had every right to claim her, but he couldn’t help feeling jealous that he didn’t get to be her first. He was just going to have to show her that they could be good together. She hated him, and it was going to be a long time, if ever, before she forgave him and let him back into her heart.

“Amalya, please, I know I don’t deserve it, but please let me make love to you. Please don’t make this just about me claiming you. I don’t want our first time to be like this. I want to show you how good it can be between us.”

She looked over her shoulder at him, and he could see the tears in her eyes. “You lost the chance to make
love
to me when you walked out the door five years ago. This
is
just about you claiming me. Claim me so that Chase and Devlin won’t be hurt. This has nothing to do with you and me. Now, please just get it over with before I change my mind.” She turned her head back into the pillow but not before he saw a tear slip down her cheek. If it was the last thing he did, he would make her whole again and take away her hurt, even if it meant forfeiting his own happiness. Once he claimed her, she would be fine. She wouldn’t need him anymore. She had Chase and Devlin to take care of her. He decided then that as soon as it was done, he would do what she asked. He would get Chase and Devlin to take care of her in the shower, and he would leave. He would let Garrett know where he was in case there was a god in heaven and Amalya decided to someday try to reach him. He knew any chance at happiness was over for him, but at least Amalya, Chase, and Devlin could be happy together.

“Okay, Amalya, if that is what you want.” He stripped out of just his pants. It wasn’t worth taking off all of his clothes. It wouldn’t take him long, and this time he was elated. As much as he wanted his first time to be special, it wouldn’t be. She wanted this over with so she could be free of him. He would abide by her wishes.

Carefully, he knelt between her legs and spread her slowly apart. She resisted at first but finally relented and spread her legs. Placing his hands on her hips, he lifted her up so she was on her knees. She kept her shoulders on the bed and her face buried in the pillow. He could feel her whole body shaking as she softly sobbed. He slid one hand up her inner thigh and through her soft folds to make sure he wouldn’t hurt her. Her whole body stiffened. She was wet, but he knew it wasn’t for him. From what he had been told, a half-breed that had been claimed by her mate was what could only be described as being “in heat” for about a month after the first claiming.

Get with the program, man.
He carefully fit the tip of his cock to her entrance and slowly started to push in. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he wanted to get this over with
,
as she had said. He pushed in just a little before pulling back. She was tight, and he knew he wasn’t small. He wasn’t sure how big Chase and Devlin were, but he knew she hadn’t been having sex for more than two weeks. She must have had other plans, and before he could stop her, she thrust her hips back, and he was buried balls deep inside her. When she cried out, he froze and grasped her hips to hold her still as he pulled out quickly. “Amalya, sweet, be still. Let your body get used to me. I don’t want to hurt you any more than I have to.”

Her reply was muffled, but he heard her snap at him. “I don’t want my body to get used to you. I want this over with, so just hurry up.”

His heart broke a little more with every word she said. He knew she was mad at him and knew he was never going to make her forget what he had done with her, but he couldn’t believe she was being so cold to him.
Serves you right, asshole.
He couldn’t believe the Amalya that he loved for so many years could just lay there and tell him to “hurry up.”

* * * *

Amalya’s plan to stay indifferent toward Gavin was going to hell quickly. While she knew her words to him sounded cold and heartless, her heart was breaking more. She wanted to roll over and hold him close to her and tell him how much she loved him. She didn’t really want their first time to be just about saving her life. She wanted it to be about them being together and declaring their love to one another.

She needed to get the claiming over with and get away from him before she could tell him how much she had missed him and still loved him, or worse yet, begged him to never leave her again. She didn’t think he would, now that they were going to be mated to each other, but she didn’t think he would have left her before, and he did. Anything was possible. She didn’t want to pour her heart out to him then have him leave her again. No, it was easier to keep a wall around her heart, at least on the outside, until she was sure he wasn’t going anywhere again. Only then would she let him know he had unfrozen her heart where he was concerned.

As bad as she wanted this over with, deep down, she wanted to enjoy it, too. She had waited so many years for Gavin to make love to her and didn’t want their first time to be like this, but it was life or death at this point, and she couldn’t wait for him to make it up to her and gain her trust again. No, she had to do this now.

She felt him run his hand up the inside of her thigh, and she tensed. When his fingers traced her folds, she knew she was wet and was embarrassed. She wasn’t sure if she should be enjoying this or not. He
was
her mate, but she was still angry with him. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of thinking that she wanted him. She wanted him to think she hated him and was only doing this to save her life. When she felt the tip of his cock against her pussy, she clenched her muscles, trying to deny him entrance. He was torturing her. She was sure of it. He could slowly push in only millimeters and then pull back, pushing in a little more with every thrust. She wasn’t sure how big he was because she didn’t want to look at him. If what she was feeling was anything to go by, he was bigger than both Devlin and Chase, around, at least. She wouldn’t know if he was longer until he was all the way inside her. This was taking way too long. She wanted this finished.

Knowing it was going to hurt, she buried her face deeper in the pillow and grasped the sheets with both hands before thrusting her hips back toward him, causing him to plunge all the way to the hilt again. He wasn’t longer than either Devlin or Chase, but he was quite a bit thicker, and the feel of him stretching her was too much. She let out a whimper that she hoped he hadn’t heard. She knew the pillow didn’t muffle her shriek as well as she had hoped when Gavin grabbed her hips with both hands and held her still. “I said hold still, baby doll. Please, I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.”