Hidden Barriers (43 page)

Sitting in the dining room of Josh’s parents’ house, we are all gathered around the table to console each other after what has been an exhausting and horrific twenty-four hours for everyone. Lucy remains hospitalized after suffering a severe concussion and a laceration on her neck that required a number of stitches.

The local and state police questioned me at the hospital about tonight’s events. Reliving the entire night over again to them was just as traumatic as it was in the moment, but they needed to justify the use of deadly force on Stone. I told them whoever fired that weapon may have taken Stone’s life, but that officer saved three lives that were in grave danger, one of which was Josh, who would probably not be lying in the guest bedroom resting with two fractured ribs and a bunch of bruises if it wasn’t for that officer.

Tears spring to my eyes at the thought of almost losing him again as I pick at the chocolate peanut butter cake sitting in front of me. I know I’m exhausted or stressed when not even my favorite dessert interests me.

Images of Stone’s menacing grin as he bashed Lucy’s head against the wall and sliced at her neck and as he nearly drove the same knife into Josh’s neck in front of me now make my
stomach turn.

Everyone else continues to discuss the night’s events as I excuse myself from the table and head to the kitchen to clear off my plate. I know I should be happy that Stone’s finally gone, and a huge cloud has finally been lifted from above me, but I worry that I might not know how this will affect both Josh and me.

Since we met, Stone’s always been the underlying factor. Josh has been the protector, the one who forced me to be stronger than I ever thought possible. Now that Stone is dead, what does that mean for us? Will I become weak? Josh’s nature is to always protect. Will he get bored with me if there is no longer a threat against me?

Drew appears in the doorway from the dining room as I place the clean plate into the dish strainer next to the sink. My head turns back to the dark window in front of me as my worn down reflection stares back at me.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Drew asks as he pushes his way next to me, dropping his plate into the sink. I turn on the water to soak the frosting before turning to him.

“Do you think he’ll get bored with me now that there’s no real threat against me?” I ask honestly, knowing my brother will never lie to me.

Drew reaches out to grab my left hand, pulling it closer to his face. “I’m pretty sure this diamond isn’t sitting on your finger just because he thinks he needs to protect you,” he says before dropping my hand. “He loves everything about you, Sam. It’s never been about you needing him as a protector. He’ll always protect you from the dangers out there; that’s just who he is. Trust me. He’ll never stop loving you, and don’t you dare give him any reason to stop either.” He turns to wash off his own plate.

I can only hope what my brother says is true, and honestly, I have no doubt he is telling me the truth, but right now, I don’t have the energy to have that conversation with Josh. With two fractured ribs, he’s out of work for at least six weeks until he is fully mended. I say goodnight to everyone, giving my parents hugs as Dad continues to discuss legal issues with Josh’s dad. I casually make my way up the stairs to Josh’s childhood bedroom where he’s been sleeping off the painkillers for the last couple of hours.

I crack open the door a little more than it already is open and turn on the desk lamp near the door. The sound of Josh’s heavy breathing tells me he’s still sleeping soundly. Softly walking over to the bed, I cautiously sit on the edge of the mattress, so I don’t wake him. My fingers stir on my lap as I nervously twist them about in an attempt to keep from touching him.

I stare at the walls, taking in all the police and vintage car posters. My eyes trail down to his bureau where model cars and framed photos cover the top. I see a picture of Josh, Jeremy, Courtney and Sue as kids framed next to Josh’s police academy graduation picture with his parents standing beside him. I stand and reach to pick up the picture of them as kids; they are all dressed in costumes, playing in the yard during a Halloween party.

A figure moves out of the corner of my eye, and I glance over to the doorway to see Sue standing there with Brittany cradled in her arms. She gently bounces Brittany, trying to get her to go to sleep.

“That was when we were all in middle school,” Sue whispers. “I used to be so smitten with Josh at that age, but we all grow up, and our paths change. Sometimes things that don’t work out then end up bringing the best outcomes for our futures.” She continues to stare at the baby girl in her arms before pulling the pacifier from her mouth once Brittany is asleep. “He may never say it, but we wouldn’t have worked out. You were always meant to come into his life.” Sue stares at Josh resting on his bed. “I can’t tell you what a relief it was to hear everyone was safe after what happened at the house. I know we haven’t been friends all that long, but I’m so happy to have you here now, especially for Josh. He truly loves you more than anything. You both deserve to finally
just love each other without anything standing in your way.”

“Sue…thank you.” I know we may not have started on the right foot, but I can see know how much she considers everyone under this roof
family
.

Sue tips her chin up as her lips form into a soft smile, saying, “Make sure you take good care of him.” She starts to make her way out of the room just as Brittany begins to fuss in her arms. She looks back as she is about to head through the doorway. A soft yet gentle smile forms on her lips, and it’s as if the air is cleared. We both see each other as family now, but her words still linger in my mind.

Take care of him.

For once, it won’t be Josh taking care of everyone else; he’ll have to rely on his family and me while he’s recovering. As I make my way back toward the bed, I notice him stirring, but still sleeping. I sit in the same spot I had before and stare at his face before trailing my eyes back down to my hands that fiddle restlessly again. My fingers twist my ring on my left hand. I release a long sigh before softly uttering the words, “Please, don’t ever stop fighting for me, even if I’m not in trouble. I kind of need you around to push me to be better, stronger, and more open.”

I force myself to stand, and as I’m at the door, I hear him behind me.

“You’ll always be trouble,” Josh groans.

Turning back to him, I see his eyes fluttering open before settling on me walking back to him. Josh shuffles a little to get more comfortable in bed. “Do you need me to help you at all? Need me to do anything?” I ask as I adjust the pillow behind his head.

“Sam, the only thing I need you to do is become my wife, so we can start our lives together. Everything outside of that doesn’t matter after tonight. It’s you and me now,” he says as I narrow my eyes at him, wondering how soon he actually wants to get married. “I heard what you said after Sue left. I love you for you, your heart, your spirit, and I love seeing your face every morning when I wake up. We’ll have to work on the control over the remote because I cannot take watching
Supernatural
every night before bed, but other than that, you should know we have nothing in our way.” Josh tries to lighten the conversation by bringing a smile to my face. “You are my life, Sam. I need you more than you’ll ever know.” He smiles as he reaches to hold my hand. I softly run my fingers over his forearm as I see his face scowl from trying to sit up more.

“Josh, I love you so much,” I say as my lips move over to kiss him passionately. My tongue pushes into his mouth as it moves fluidly with his own. My eyes shoot open when I hear him groan, and I pull back immediately. “Oh my God! Did I hurt you?”

“No, but if you keep doing what you’re doing, we’re going to have issues that cannot be resolved here tonight,” he says as we laugh quietly together.

My mouth opens as I silently say
oh
. “Are you always going to think with the wrong head?” I ask.

“Yup, and once I’m able to get back into action, I’m going to make sure you know it, too.”

“You always have such sweet words when it comes to sex,” I sarcastically say as I chuckle at him.

Three Months Later

Today marks our first full day as the new owners of a three-bedroom old Victorian house around the corner from downtown North Andover. Sam fell in love the minute she laid her eyes on the stained glass windows and intricate woodwork on the staircase. We’re also within walking distance of Vines, which makes both Sam and me very happy. The quiet tree-lined street was just an added bonus. The minute we were handed the keys, our lives together truly began.

The boxes continue to surround us in every corner of the house. If I didn’t already know Sam was still upstairs sleeping, I’d assume she was buried somewhere in between them. I make my way from the galley kitchen at the back of the house to the living room. My steaming cup of black coffee firmly held in my hands. I stop in the doorway and take in the chaos surrounding the cluttered boxes that line every inch of the room. I make my way to find the only available spot on the sofa to sit, placing my coffee mug onto the table before grabbing the box cutter to open the cardboard box labeled
photos.
I pull back the top flaps and begin tearing back the bubble wrap to pull out the first framed photo. I know regardless where I put these in the living room Sam is going to move them. She’s more organized than I’ll ever be. I slide the box over next to the sofa and take a sip of my coffee before trudging through the pictures. Staring at the picture, I see it’s the same one that used to sit next to my bed at my parents’ house since I was a kid. My mom must have finally parted with it as she began clearing out my old room, so she could set up a separate nursery room for Brittany. As I gaze at the picture, I think about how far we’ve come in the last few weeks.

Courtney is due to return from her summer at culinary school shortly. I’m not sure who is more excited to have her home, my mom or Sam. Once everything returned to normal after Stone’s shooting and I went back to work, Sam and I spent a lot of time with my family. Mom has enjoyed bringing another female into the mix.

My mom is always willing to open her home and her heart to anyone her kids love. What she’s done for Sam has been nothing short of saint-like. The first month after Stone’s shooting, I watched as Sam struggled to sleep soundly. Nightmares constantly woke her, as she would envision him killing me instead. I won’t lie and say I didn’t struggle at first with how to handle her battles. There were nights where I nearly broke down in tears, never knowing what I could do to help her push through and see things were going to be okay.

It took time for my own injuries to heal, and add in the pressure of determining if I was mentally stable enough to return to work, well, it was a lot to handle, and my relationship with Sam was put to the test. We knew we loved each other, but neither of us could work out how to handle what we both experienced, together. Neither of us wanted to relive that night or talk openly with each other, which made working through the struggle nearly impossible.

Sam hasn’t returned to the C-Naughtie house, but then again, none of the C-Naughties have. Lucy ended up packing up her VW Beetle and headed west to Colorado. Once she was released from the hospital, her parents felt she should return to the place she grew up and spend the summer there relaxing. After finding out what happened while they were on the derby road trip, Rose and Kim couldn’t stay in the house either, but they still live in town, and Sam sees them constantly. Her mantra
Derby Sisters for Life
never falters. Although Sam struggled to let Lucy leave, Lucy swore she would call every day and would be coming back before the end of the summer.