Authors: Nadine Dorries
‘Oh no, not me, Annie, my Maura never says no,’ Tommy shouted back.
Sean on the other side of the road would join in the banter. ‘Oi, keep yer hands off my woman, Deane, or yer a dead man. She’s mine and if ye want her, see me in the ring on Friday night.’
The street was filled with laughter as Jerry whispered to Tommy, ‘If Maura ever hears you telling Annie O’Prey that she never says no, you’re the one whose feckin’ dead.’
Blowing Mrs O’Prey an exaggerated kiss, the three men separated and walked on to their own back doors.
Sean and Brigid weren’t as badly off as other families in Nelson Street.
Sean won money at the boxing ring each Friday night, which he put into the bread bin.
Some of it went to buy the meat and eggs Sean needed in order to remain fighting fit.
Some went towards the housekeeping and to feed his many daughters. And the remainder was for the day when they had enough saved to emigrate to America.
Sean had plans and dreams.
He and Brigid received a letter every fortnight from his sister, Mary, in Chicago.
Mary and her husband, along with Sean’s brother, Eddie, had established a small building company and, by all accounts, were doing well. In every letter they pleaded for Sean and the family to travel and join them, to work with them because the business was growing so fast. They could barely manage and were having to employ large teams of Irish builders from home. It galled Mary and Eddie that their very own brother worked as he did on the Liverpool docks, when a life of prosperity and opportunity was waiting for him and his, right there in Chicago.
Sean was desperate to set sail and join them. His work in Liverpool was only ever meant to be temporary and a means of saving for the passage to America.
Mary and Eddie, who were both older than Sean, had travelled on ahead of him to Liverpool, worked for three years and went without, so determined were they to save every penny they earned.
Eddie had taken two jobs: for six days a week, Sunday excepted, he worked as a brickie on the new housing estates on the outskirts of Liverpool, and for four nights as a barman.
Mary had trained as a nurse and lived in the nurses’ home, eating on the wards and barely spending a penny of her salary. Within two weeks of qualifying, she and Eddie realized they had enough saved and had boldly booked their passage across the Atlantic.
Their single-minded determination had paid off well.
Sean would have left the day after every letter arrived from America, but for two problems.
The first was that Brigid would have none of it.
‘England is far enough away from Ireland and from my family and your mammy too,’ she said reproachfully, every time he brought the subject up. ‘Now that Mary and Eddie have selfishly gone to America, who will be here for your mammy, should she be sick? Ye know the rules, Sean. The nearest does the looking after and that’s me and you.’
The second was that, even if Sean could talk Brigid round, he didn’t yet have enough fare money for all of them. He was too proud to ask his sister for help.
Mary’s last letter had included a black-and-white photograph of their house in Chicago and a picture of Mary and her husband in front of their fireplace.
Sean had placed the picture on the press. He picked it up and looked at it at least once a day.
It wasn’t Mary he looked at, nor her husband, despite their clean, wholesome well-fed expressions and fine clothes.
‘It was the size of the marble mantelpiece with the gilt-framed mirror above it and the solid brass fender round the fire. Alongside, a small polished wooden table held an oversized lamp with a fringed lampshade. On the mantel stood an ornament of a sailing ship and a shire horse, with photographs in silver frames.
He studied them all. Such fine things.
Sean would not even have been able to afford the large brass coal bucket at the opposite end of the fender, never mind the house.
‘They have everything, sure, there’s no denying that, all right,’ he said to Brigid.
“I desperately want us to be with them. I know we made the wrong decision to stay in Liverpool. I cannot see a way forward out of the four streets for us all and quick enough too.”
Brigid never replied or returned his enthusiasm.
‘Sure, she never stops giving out about America and how great it is, does she?’ Sean said when he finished reading the latest letter.
‘She makes me laugh, so she does,’ replied Brigid. ‘She always signs off, “From the land of the free”. Sure, we are free too. Does she think we are all prisoners in England?’
‘We are, aren’t we, though, Brigid?’ said Sean. ‘I can’t earn any more money than I do. They seem to be free to do whatever they want to over there. If you want to set up a business, you can. If you want to buy your own house, you can get money to do it. America is growing and bursting with opportunities that we just don’t have here. No one cares where you came from or what class you are. There is no class in America, don’t ye understand? Everyone is the same. If ye can work ye can win.
‘We aren’t even the same when we go to the grocer’s. All the shite gets loaded into our baskets. Ye heard what the grocer told Paddy in the pub when he was pissed. The best potatoes go to the English, the second-best to the pigs and the rest to the Irish.’
Sean walked over to Brigid and put his arms round her.
‘I just don’t want our kids to live our life and repeat our hardships every day. We have to keep saving, Brigid, and I have to keep fighting to bring the extra money in.’
He pulled away and looked down at her, seeking reassurance.
Brigid broke free of his arms and refused to meet his eyes. She could be bolder when he wasn’t touching her.
‘I want to be wherever you are and if you think America is better for our kids, when we have the money for the fare, we will talk about it then, but I’m not making any promises, Sean.’
She was holding him off, playing for time. She turned back to the kitchen sink.
Sean put his arms round his wife’s waist and hugged her.
He beat the shite out of three men every Friday night in order to earn the money they needed to save. Brigid would never know how that felt. She would never understand that, knowing she was with him, supporting him and sharing his dreams, would make getting into the ring easier to bear.
With Brigid beside him, he could dive over the ropes and see nothing ahead but their future.
Punches easier to take. Bruises quicker to heal.
Brigid continued washing the dirty dishes.
‘I do think about it sometimes, ye know,’ she said, with a lift in her voice. ‘When Kathleen read me tea leaves on Friday, she said we would be visiting foreign shores before long.’
Sean didn’t believe in prophecies found in the tea leaves, but Kathleen’s endorsement made him feel surprisingly good.
‘It won’t be long now before we have enough money for the fare. Two more steady years on this lucky winning streak and we can be off, all of us.’ His voice was loaded with a false brightness, but dropped as he added, ‘Providing we don’t have any more babies.’
Brigid didn’t reply. She had no desire to move further away from home. She was happy enough, but Sean was always restless, wanting more and better, and looking to see how green was another man’s grass. Sometimes it wore her out.
Nothing wore Sean out.
Winning in the boxing ring was a foregone conclusion for him, driven by his personal goal. Every waking hour that he wasn’t working on the docks, he was training in the ring. There was no doubt in his mind that he would have the money within two years.
They were fine the way they were, mused Brigid. She comforted herself with the idea that he would soon grow tired of wanting to leave. Sean was someone in the community. He enjoyed his reputation as a big and powerful man. When he walked down the street, the kids shouted out to him, ‘Hey, big man Sean, will ye show us how to throw a punch?’
They would run along beside him, begging and chanting. Often he would stop and spend time on the green, showing them how to jib. He truly was the big man and, when he realized that, pride alone would be enough to make him stay.
Better to be a big fish in Liverpool and not a little fish across the other side of a very big pond.
The adults on the four streets were in awe of Sean’s size and strength. Even Kathleen, who had wondered at the arrogance and the cheek of Father James, who had often tripped in and out of Brigid’s house. Kathleen liked to imagine what Sean would have done to the priest if he had caught him up to anything.
If neighbours on Nelson Street ever thought one of their own had murdered Father James, they would naturally have assumed it was the big and muscular Sean, not the short and kindly Tommy.
Little did they know.
It took rage to kill a man, not strength.
The night before Kathleen left for Ireland, she had popped down to see Brigid, to tell her they were having a hairdo night at Maura’s.
‘I haven’t time to beat around the bush, Brigid,’ said Kathleen, breathlessly, almost as soon as she walked in through Brigid’s back door.
As Kathleen looked around the kitchen, she was overcome with admiration. A wooden box sat on the floor to the side of the fire, padded with hand-crocheted blankets, and inside, top to tail, slept two babies. In the pram just inside the back door slept two more. The kitchen was spotlessly clean.
‘Brigid, I am here to ask ye a favour,’ said Kathleen, ‘and I didn’t want to do it tonight in front of the others, especially nosy Peggy.’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, sit down,’ Brigid said, concerned. Kathleen was bright red and panting. Brigid had always thought Kathleen did too much and should be taking things a bit easier.
‘Brigid, I need ye to help me, but I also need you to keep it quiet, between the two of us. I am away to Ireland with Nellie and Kitty. Would ye please keep an eye on Alice and the baby whilst Jerry is at work and I am away? But please, Brigid, please, could it be our secret?’
Brigid pressed a cup of tea into Kathleen’s hand and sat down next to her.
‘I would be happy to, but Alice seems a different woman altogether these days. Sure, I know it was necessary, but remember, after the murder, she came into my kitchen, all by herself.’
‘Aye, I know,’ said Kathleen, ‘and that is grand and a great improvement, so it is, but it would just make me feel better if I knew ye was keeping an eye out. Things aren’t quite right, Brigid. I wouldn’t worry if I was here, but I have to travel back home for a little while and I would feel much happier if ye was keeping watch for me.’
‘Won’t Maura be put out by ye asking me?’ Brigid enquired.
‘Maura has enough on her plate just now and, besides, they never seem to be able to move beyond Bernadette. Alice can’t forgive Maura for being Bernadette’s best friend and Maura can’t forgive Alice for taking Bernadette’s place. I don’t think either of them will ever move on. What can I do? One minute they are fine, the next, for no reason whatsoever, they flare up like a pair of entry dogs fighting over a scrap.’
Kathleen drank her tea and the two women chatted on until Kathleen realized she had been away for too long.
Brigid gave Kathleen a hug at the back door.
‘Have a rest, Kathleen, will ye? Everything will be fine here now.’
‘Aye, I will that, but keep your eyes peeled. Alice isn’t herself, she’s so bold now. Or maybe this is herself, I have no idea, but I can’t help thinking that she probably needs to go back on her tablets. I have other things to deal with right now and I don’t want to worry Jerry. Oh, and bring yer tweezers and Pond’s round tonight. Me and the girls, we have good reason to need to look a little groomed.’
And with a last smile through the back door and another promise from Brigid that not a word would be spoken about her visit to anyone, she was gone.
As Kathleen walked back, she thought to herself that Brigid, with all her kindness, was the one woman on the street they could trust with the news of Kitty’s baby. She was the one person Maura could lean on whilst Kathleen was away, but Kathleen wouldn’t dare tell her. She couldn’t. No one must know.
Brigid dutifully called in on Alice, the following afternoon. She decided that asking had they got away all right was a good opening line. Alice was not known for gossip. She didn’t speak to anyone as far as Brigid knew, but she was determined not to let that put her off.
Alice was slightly hesitant; she had never had visitors of her own.
‘Hello, Brigid, you know Kathleen has left for Ireland, don’t you?’ she whispered, as though someone else could hear.
Brigid decided she had to be bold and make herself at home. She could see Alice was not at ease.
‘You don’t mind if I put these two on the mat next to Joseph, do ye?’ she asked Alice, as she lifted her two youngest out of the pram and put them down on the rug besides Joseph.
Joseph kicked his legs frantically and began to chatter in baby language, which made both Brigid and Alice laugh.
‘Would ye look at him,’ exclaimed Brigid in mock indignation. ‘Still in nappies and trying it on with my girls. I will tell Uncle Sean about ye, little man, so I will. Aye, I know Kathleen has gone home. I just thought I would pop in and see yerself and the little fella, in case ye was feeling a bit deserted.’
Alice put the kettle on and the two women chatted about babies until Jerry arrived home.
As Brigid left, she made a suggestion.
‘Do the two of youse fancy coming down to the club with us on Saturday? Would Angela look after Joseph for ye? We have Sean’s mammy here and Sean has no fight on, so we are desperate to get out and she doesn’t mind stopping in to let us go. It would be a break for me to get away from her and Sean talking about how great America is all the time. They drive me crazy, the two of them. They would have us all packed up onto the boat for New York in the morning if they had their way. I need to remind Sean it’s good craic around here too and there’s more to life than the boxing ring and work.’
Alice looked at Brigid in amazement.
‘Do you not want to go to America then?’ she asked, almost incredulous. She could think of no prospect more exciting.