"I just think it's a theory we shouldn't overlook."
"Uh-huh. Are you sure you're getting enough sleep?"
She ignored that.
"Look, baby, that cat is… well, I'm not sure what the cat is, but I know he's no 'Pookah.' "
She crossed her arms over her chest. "How do you know that?"
"For one thing, we can all see him. Real Pookahs can only be seen by Jimmy Stewart… and maybe Dr. Chumley—but only on the rare occasion."
She eyeballed him. "That's your counter explanation?"
"It's as good as yours."
A few seconds ticked by in silence. Then she waved a hand of pronouncement in the air. "I can see you are completely closed-minded to the paranormal."
"I don't know about that, baby." He grinned sexily. "What we did this morning seemed pretty paranormal to me. In fact, I still have several physical manifestations on my back from—"
She placed her hand over his mouth. "Someone will hear you!"
"Amm norrr surr Sasenfraa wid iii."
"What?"
He took her hand away from his mouth. "I'm not sure Sasenfras did it, but I do think he knows there's a body in there, which is why he has refused to sell to Todd or let him renovate."
"What if Todd knows, as well? Don't forget, he inherited the bulk of the estate. And he wants to buy out Sasenfras. Unfortunately, that still makes him a prime suspect."
"Not for murder. He was just a baby when Merville bit the, ah, dust."
"You're right. Property on the Vineyard wasn't that valuable then, either. Hard to believe, yet true."
"There are still several pieces to this that we're missing, baby."
"Savory bun?" Blooey stuck a plate of warm herb rolls right under their noses, ending that conversation. "Ain't these beauties?" He gestured with the plate, urging them to take one. "Wish I could get the recipe for these babies. Got a squash version I want to try."
Tyber groaned. Not the squash tenure again.
Hambone looked up at the plate and smacked his lips. Blooey pulled the plate close to his chest. "Git off wit ye, ye scalawag! Ye already stole four of 'em!"
Blooey moved off with a determined Hambone dogging his steps.
Zanita shook her head. "Those two."
"I know." He bit into his bun. "Mmm, these are delicious."
Zanita took a nibble of hers. "Delicious? These are sensational!"
"Oh! It's savory buns!" Mark came into the room and literally clapped his hands in delight. "I just love Todd's buns!"
Tyber cleared his throat and tried not to look at Zanita, sure he would laugh this time.
"My wonders!" Auntie plopped into a chair next to Hubble. "These are richer than the ones they have at The Cellar in Macy's! Very chichi."
"And Todd said he's cooked up a special dinner for us tonight—
steak au poivre
with Delmonico potatoes." Calendula glowed with enthusiasm for the chef. "He is such a genius in the kitchen. Truly inspired."
"Yeah, but by what?" Tyber whispered to Zanita.
Zanita agreed with him. This adventure into ghost-busting had turned into a crime investigation. "After tonight's field work, let's go over what we have collected already, so we're in perfect synergy."
"I thought we were always in perfect synergy," he rejoined in a low tone. The suggestive look that followed made her blush. "Okay—meet you in the tub later."
"The tub?"
"Yes. Perfect place for a networking conference. Trust me." He raised his eyebrows up and down.
"You, Doc Evans, are trouble." She gave him a sidelong smile and turned to Auntie.
"Are you enjoying your stay, Auntie?"
"Mar-r-r-vellous!"
Tyber cringed and stuck his face behind the savory bun.
"I haven't seen anything weird today, though, dear, unless you count that ghastly rhododendron outside my window. You know, Todd, the lopsided one with those garish spiked branches?" She shook her head as if to say, "It doesn't do."
Todd shrugged. "That's one of the original bushes, Auntie. I think it's one of the few originals left, too. I'm sorry if its shape offends you, but it's a fixture around here."
"I suppose we all must sometimes sacrifice taste for heritage."
Tyber stared pointedly at her three hats. Now, there was a sacrifice if he ever saw one. Zanita kicked him under the table before he could say anything.
"Are you positively, absolutely sure she's your aunt?" he asked for the umpteenth time.
"Yes."
The deep groaning sigh of "relative realization" followed.
Todd mistook it for Hippolito's beg-call and tossed the unsuspecting cat a piece of steak. Never one to overlook a flying bit of food coming his way, Hippolito neatly opened his mouth—not unlike a Venus fly trap—and snapped it shut on the morsel. The brown eyes flared in momentary ecstasy before drifting closed once more.
"I don't know if I like that beast gaining from my pain," Tyber remarked drolly in her ear.
Zanita showed no sympathy. "Someone has to.
Tyber's mouth dropped in a theatrical pose of shock.
After a luxurious dinner laid out by Todd— with Sasenfras's help—Calendula suggested they all remain where they were seated. She intended to conduct a stance, and the old wood dining table was the perfect spot.
"Mark, go get the Ouija board from my room, would you, dear?"
"Sure." He got up and left.
"I hate Ouija boards," Zanita whispered to Tyber.
"Why?"
"They just have a tendency to be creepy, that's all."
"Baby, we're investigating a haunted house with a murdered skeleton, flying kitchen gadgets, and a Pookah cat, and now you talk about creepy?"
She shrugged sheepishly.
Calendula instructed Todd to go into the kitchen and retrieve several of the objects that had been thrown about in the "amazing aerial display" of a few nights ago. He came back laden with the cherry pitter, nutmeg grater, vegetable peeler, marble mortar and pestle, and lemon reamer.
Calendula asked Mark to place each tool next to a person. "What is this supposed to prove?" Hubble demanded.
"These are the gadgets that the ghost seems to have a quarrel with. We need to find out why."
He harumphed.
"Isn't this exciting!" Auntie waggled her lemon reamer in the air.
"Now, why do I think that's the perfect tool for her," Tyber intoned dryly.
Zanita shushed him.
Calendula sat at the head of the table. "Mark, the cameras are on?"
He nodded yes.
"Good. Let's begin by joining hands."
Out of the corner of his eye, Tyber noticed Sasenfras preparing to leave for the day. He had already remained later than his usual time, having stayed for dinner at Todd's request. "Wait a minute, Sasenfras. I think we should all be present during this," Tyber said.
Sasenfras's shoulders hunched. "I don't go in for none o' this stuff here now."
"Too bad. Take a seat, my man. You're in," Tyber said. It seemed that the caretaker had suspended his three-word rule of communication for the occasion. Interesting.
Reluctantly, Sasenfras took a seat next to Auntie.
Calendula turned all the lights off except for three votive candles. The eerie glow in the room certainly added the right atmosphere.
"Everyone, place your fingers on the disc in the center and try not to concentrate on anything. Rather, simply let your mind go free."
"That should be easy for some of us," Tyber murmured in Zanitas ear.
She tried not to laugh. Tyber always did this to her when she was trying to keep a straight face.
For several minutes nothing happened. That was, if you didn't count Hippolito's steady snoring from under the table. In contrast, Hambone perched on the edge of the window seat and watched the proceedings with avid interest, his one eye gleaming in the candle light.
Sasenfras shifted in his seat.
Tyber's eyes narrowed. "What's the matter, Sasenfras?"
"At least we got cats in here," he grumbled. "Cats protect you, you know. From things."
"Relax." Auntie patted his shoulder, misinterpreting his remark. "They won't bother anything. They're after my hats. I swear Hambone thinks they're alive. He never takes his eyes off them."
Zanita surreptitiously glanced at Hambone. The cat wasn't paying the least attention to Auntie's moldy hats. He was focused on the doings at the table. She grinned to herself.
"What?" Tyber's breath teased against her throat. He took the opportunity to brush his lips over the soft skin in a light caress.
"Nothing." She smiled like a cat.
Suddenly the disc in the center of the board started to shake slightly.
"It wants to move," Calendula whispered to the room. "Don't press down too hard; let your fingers barely touch the plastic."
Hubble pshawed but complied.
"We have a question for the spirit in the house," Calendula called out in a clear voice. "Are you present?"
The disc wobbled, then suddenly swung to the yes side, dragging everyone's hands along with it.
"Why do you haunt this inn?" she asked. Which seemed forward enough to Zanita.
The disc was inert for a few seconds. Tyber glanced around the table. Auntie was beaming like a three-hatted idiot; Hubble was shaking his head in disgust at the event; Mark was enraptured; Calendula was concentrating; Todd was wide-eyed; and… Sasenfras was sweating. Very curious.
Then the disc slowly moved, and Auntie called out each letter as it passed. "S-t-o-l-e-w-h-a-t-i-s-m-i-n-e… Stole what is mine. I wonder what that means."
"Who stole from you?" Calendula asked.
The disc started to go to a letter, then stopped, spun around and stayed in the center of the board.
"That would have been too easy," Zanita whispered to Tyber.
He bent down to speak in her ear, low. "Or someone here prevented the disc from spelling out the name."
"You believe in this?" She was surprised.
"I think the subconscious acts on the disc."
Calendula tried a different track. "What was stolen from you?"
The disc vibrated and slowly moved again to the same letters. "W-h-a-t-w-a-s-m-i-n-e."
"Chatty fellow, isn't he?" Mark joked.
"Who says it's a he?" Todd gazed around the circle. "Could be a she."
"True." Blooey snitched the last savory bun.
Hubble let out a sigh indicating it was all shenanigans to him.
"I wonder why the spirit keeps saying that?" Zanita bit her lip.
"Can you tell us your name?" The disc slid over to the letter I, then went to A and M.
I
am.
"Yes? Go on!"
The disc wobbled over to the center of the alphabet.
Sasenfras suddenly stood and flung the board off the table. "
With that, he stormed off.
"Well, that was some warning!" Auntie leaned back in her seat and crossed her legs. "I just hate it when I miss the denouement!"
Tyber choked on his wine.
"That almost sounded like a threat." Zanita. wondered if anyone else had heard it that way.
"From Sasenfras?" Todd shook his head. "I admit he's a little balmy, but he wouldn't really harm anyone."
What about murder? Tyber wondered, watching the grisly caretaker through the window as he climbed nimbly up the back cliff.
"So what do we have so far?"
"Ah, a sore spot in an unmentionable place and about half a bottle of shampoo on my head?"
"Noooo." Zanita floated closer to him in the tub, slinging her leg over his to get a better angle to wash his hair. As planned, they had met in the tub to discuss the case.
"Mmmm." Tyber let out a combined moan of pleasure, weariness, and resignation. The woman was determined to play with his hair.
"I meant, what do we have up to now on the case?" She dug her soapy hands into his silky mane while giving a slightly evil grin. She loved playing with Tyber's hair. She tried to conjure up something extra naughty to do with that froth of bubbles.
Tyber always thought it best to ignore those expressions of hers.
"It might help to go over what's transpired so far so we can see where we are." Her hands shaped an unmentionable body part with the soapy strands. It jutted out from the top of his head like an exclamation point.
"I know where we are—in the Jacuzzi. What the hell are you doing?"