Highland Shadows (Beautiful Darkness Series Book 1) (3 page)

A moment later, Jamie came up behind him. “She liked ye.” He rested his hands on his knees while he tried to catch his breath. “I can tell.”

“How’s that?” Alex said

“I saw her smile from over there.”

Alex snorted. “Then ye missed the part when she looked up and choked back a scream.”

Jamie rolled his eyes. “Ye exaggerate.”

“She made the sign of the cross at me. Who was she anyway?”

“Do ye not recall that Finn took a wife from Clan Ross last year? He now has two daughters grown. Ye’ve just met one.”

Alex lifted his hand in a careless gesture. “Something tells me I’ll not be meeting the other.”

Jamie shrugged. “Her loss. She’s all wrong for ye anyway. What ye need is a rich wife.”

Alex scowled and pushed past Jamie. He had endured enough misery for one day without dwelling upon his marriage prospects. “Leave them some grain and this.” He swept the hide from his shoulders. “Tell Thomas he must make shoes for the children with it.”

“Where are ye going?” Jamie called after him.

“Home to Sonas.” Home, where if people made the sign of the cross when they saw him, they at least had the decency to wait until his back was turned.

CHAPTER 2

Kendrick eased the door of his granny’s croft shut. Resting his head against the slatted wood, he released a heavy sigh. No matter how he begged, she still refused to leave her isolated home on the hill, which overlooked the water, to live with him and his Aggie. Once again she had dismissed his concern by saying, “I must keep the home fires lit.”

Long before the wolves came, before Kendrick was even born, her husband had set out one morning to fish the North Minch and never returned. And despite the passing of decades, she still clung to hope of reuniting with her lost love. With a shake of his head, Kendrick turned away, heading back toward the village. Many within the clan had advised him to force the old woman from her home, but who was he to tell her to give up hope? Hope was all any of them had left.

The sun had already sunk beneath the horizon. Kendrick had stayed too long, but having been absent for weeks making the rounds with his laird, his granny had missed his company and had begged he stay for dinner. Now, while the violets of twilight painted the hills, he knew it had been a mistake. He didn’t even have a horse—another mistake. His heart lurched when he thought of his Aggie who at that moment likely stood in their doorway, her eyes fixed on the path home. He picked up his pace. Aggie had already worried enough while he was away. The last thing he wanted was to prolong her suffering.

Violet gave way to shades of gray. Soon night would blot out the path. Looking heavenward, he prayed for the moon and stars to light his way, but the sky hung heavy with clouds. He started to run. Long had it been since one of the clan was taken by wolves. But then again, no one ever went out after dark.

~ * ~

Alex’s eyes flitted over a piece of parchment as he assessed the financial state of the MacKenzie clan with Edmund, who had been charged with keeping the clan’s books for nearly twenty years. Alex pushed off the table with his hands, scattering pages to the ground while he stood and began to pace the room. He had hoped the investment he had made in seed over the past two years would have added more to the coffer, but the crops had barely managed to feed his people. Having a surplus to sell at market had amounted to nothing more than a lost dream.

“’Tis grim, indeed,” Edmund muttered, his slim shoulders hunched over pages that had escaped Alex’s anger. He entered the last of the tallied rents into the ledger and quietly collected the errant pages. Edmund had always been a man of few words, for which Alex had never been more grateful. He did not need his bookkeeper to expound on just how badly their losses trumped their gains. Suffice it to say, the MacKenzies were still impoverished.

Alex sighed. Another year would pass without being able to buy fresh horse stock. They would breed the same animals and for another year would be no closer to reclaiming the glory of the MacKenzie name. He slammed his fist down upon the table at the same moment a knock sounded at the door. He looked up and stared at the slatted wood. Doubtless, whoever stood on the other side brought only bad news.

Squaring his shoulders, he opened the door. Jamie leaned his forearm against the wall and rested his head in the crook of his elbow. His blond hair glinted in the torch light illuminating the long corridor. When he lifted his head, weary blue eyes greeted Alex.

“Ye look dreadful,” Alex said. A frown downturned Jamie’s wickedly full lips. Alex could not help but roll his eyes. Even when Jamie looked like hell he was still painfully good looking. Alex angled his head, presenting Jamie with his left side.

“’Tis an insult when ye do that to me, ye know.” Jamie pushed past Alex. “Look me dead on, or I’ll knock ye to the ground.”

Alex cocked his brow at his smaller friend. “I’d like to see ye try.” Jamie was not a small man, but no one compared to Alex in size with the exception of his younger brother, Murdock, who at nineteen was the biggest MacKenzie in the clan. For a moment, Alex’s mind was occupied with concern for his troubled brother whom he had not seen for a fortnight. Murdock frequently disappeared for weeks or even months at a time without sending word of his whereabouts or wellbeing, which frustrated Alex to no end. But he knew not the word or deed that might heal Murdock’s damaged soul.

“I will leave ye now,” Edmund interjected quietly. His eyes drooped with either fatigue or worry as he shuffled out the open door without waiting for a reply.

“He’s as loquacious as ever,” Jamie said dryly before collapsing in the chair behind the table.

“Any sign of Kendrick?” Alex asked.

Jamie’s frown returned. “Nay.” He glanced at a piece of parchment the bookkeeper had left behind. “Judging by Edmund’s sour face can I assume our coffers are as bare as ever?”

“Ye made the rounds with me. Ye ken the state of our clan,” Alex said impatiently. “What of Kendrick?”

Shoving aside the paper, Jamie rested his elbows on the table and dropped his head in his hands. “We’ve found no trace of him,” he said, his voice muffled. “We’ve searched everywhere.”

Alex suddenly felt tired. His arms hung slack at his sides.

“’Tis hopeless,” Jamie said.

“Nay,” Alex snapped. He shook the despair from his thoughts and started to pace the room. “Tomorrow, ye’ll lead another search.”

“There’s no place left to look, unless ye wish us to enter the forest.”

Alex whirled around. “Never. Ye’d be as dead as Kendrick.”

Both Jamie and he locked eyes. He had uttered words he could not take back.
Kendrick’s dead
.

Alex shifted his gaze to the ground. “How’s Aggie?”

“Out of her mind with grief, but I did as ye bid and tried to comfort her, though it should have been ye.”

Alex shook his head. “I’ve always made her uncomfortable.”

Jamie snorted. “That’s a blatant exaggeration,”

“On the contrary, it was an understatement. In truth, I frighten her.”

“I don’t care. Ye’re her laird,” Jamie snapped.

“I’m not her laird.” Alex crossed to the window. He pulled the hide back and gazed at the moon peeking through wisps of cloud. “Not yet anyway.” He dropped the hide in place and returned to the table. Flattening his large hands on the surface, he leaned toward Jamie. “More than a decade has passed since the wolves descended. A decade of scarcity and death with no relief in sight. Even if we could fight those beasts, we’ve naught the money to arm our men or food to feed their strength. How am I to change our fortune?”

Jamie stared him hard in the eye. “Are ye looking to be placated, or do ye seek an honest answer?”

Alex scowled at his friend, but kept his silence, despite knowing what Jamie would say.

“Ye should marry. The MacKenzie name is good and your lands vast. Despite our barren coffers, ye could still find a rich wife and change everyone’s fortune.”

Familiar fury coursed through Alex’s veins. He gritted his teeth and stared at his friend. His eyes swept from Jamie’s rakishly mussed blond hair to his sun-kissed skin to his features that were so fine—almost too fine. Jamie was beautiful. Maids became tongue-tied around him. Feminine eyes followed him everywhere he went. How could a man like Jamie understand his dilemma?

Alex turned away.

“Enough,” Jamie barked.

“Excuse me.” Alex spun back around, glowering at his friend’s audacity. “Are ye actually saying ‘enough’ to me when I’m the one who’s had to listen to that same impossible suggestion every day for the past three years.”

“Aye,” Jamie yelled. “And ye can be damn sure that I’ll say it again until ye take a blasted wife.”

Alex’s eyes widened at Jamie’s loss of temper, a rare occurrence even when provoked.

Jamie folded his arms across his chest. “I’ve had my fill of your self-pity. I say this not just as your closest friend and adviser but as a MacKenzie. Your clan needs ye. May the Lord look with mercy upon your father, but ye and I both know his days are numbered. Ye’ll be chieftain soon and this clan, with all of its heartache, falls to ye. Ye, Alex. Do ye ken? Ye must take a wife, one with fortune. I don’t care what your face looks like.”

Alex reached out and grabbed hold of Jamie, dragging him out of the chair and onto the table. “Maids do not marry monsters,” Alex growled, then set Jamie on his feet and turned away.

He reached up and grazed his jagged skin. Fate had cast him into a hell for which he had no escape.

“Ye’re no monster,” Jamie snapped.

“Keep your flattery. I’ve heard it all before. I’m a good man. I ken.”

“Ye’re a blind man.”

Alex was about to reply that the same could be said of Jamie, when scampering outside the door drew both men’s attention. Margaret, the upstairs maid, flung the door wide.

“Forgive me for not knocking, my lord. ‘Tis your father. I’m afraid his time has come.”

Alex’s heart sank. He turned to Jamie. “Find Murdock.”

“Ye know that won’t be easy.”

“I don’t care. Just do it,” Alex shot back, already out the door.

He hastened down the hallway. The door to his father’s room was slightly ajar. Easing inside, he treaded softly to Callum MacKenzie’s bedside and leaned over, pressing a kiss to his brow.

With his emaciated frame swaddled in blankets, his father looked more like a child slipping away than a man about to meet his maker. Alex held his frail hand. At fifty-two, Callum was not an old man, but his broken soul had invited the sickness that ravaged his once strong frame. Alex knew his father had never stopped mourning the loss of his beloved Anna. Every day, every moment lived without her by his side had taken its toll, so too had the burden of their dwindling clan. Callum strained to lift his heavy lids. “Alex,” he whispered. “I leave ye nothin’ but heartache.”

“Wheest, Da.” Alex wiped his father’s burning brow with a damp cloth.

Someone rapped on the door. Alex willed Murdock to enter, but it was Jamie who slipped into the room. He motioned to the window. “The garrison spied Murdock riding this way.”

Alex crossed to the thick tapestry hanging in front of the high window and flung the heavy fabric back. He peered down just as a rider with long, black hair and massive shoulders thundered into the courtyard
.
Shaking his head, he marveled at Murdock’s timing. Somehow he always seemed to show up when Alex needed him most.

Jamie crossed to his side. “The prodigal son returns.”

~ * ~

The frozen earth refused to give way to Callum MacKenzie’s body. Instead, his soul would be carried to heaven in smoke that billowed and undulated in the wind. Alex stood on shore as was their custom while flames engulfed his father’s body

“I cannot bear this.” He stormed away from the gloomy water. Murdock followed close behind. “Ye knew his time was nigh,” Murdock said, his voice low and raspy.

Alex stopped and turned to face his brother. Like Alex, Murdock favored their mother in appearance with his black hair, which he wore very long past his shoulders. But Murdock did not have their mother’s mismatched eyes. His eyes had been a dark blue when he was young, but as he grew they lightened. Now, they were so light a blue they reminded Alex of crystals they used to hunt for when they were lads. Much to Alex’s regret, Murdock’s eyes were also just as cold and hard as those beautiful stones.

Once fun-loving and mischievous, the fire had changed him. He had retreated inwardly, becoming hard and aloof. But Alex believed everyone dealt with grief in their own way. He never called Murdock to task or lorded duty over his head. Still, Murdock grew darker and more troubled with each passing year. The most Alex could do was pray his brother found peace.

Alex cast his gaze to the ground. The last thing he wanted was to burden Murdock’s already tortured mind with more ill news. Still, he felt it was his right to know about Kendrick.

Alex took a deep breath. “Kendrick is gone.”

Murdock looked at him blankly, betraying no hint of emotion. Clearly, his brother had not understood his full meaning. “He’s missing. Jamie led the search but…” He could not bring himself to finish.