Authors: Astrid Yrigollen
“I am so sorry Claren. When I saw all the good that you had done just by being here, I knew I was the one in the wrong. You have brought my son out into the daylight, you have made him smile and laugh and you have given him friends. When I saw my son with you, Bitwater and Peterson, laughing, talking just as any young man would, my heart was lifted and I knew that I could no longer keep you here under false pretenses. I grew to love you Claren.” Fredrick felt his son bristle but did not look at him.
“I grew to love you as my daughter. I can never apologize for the wicked reasoning in my heart to bring pain to you, but I can offer to try to make it up to you by deeds.” Claren bowed her head and sobbed quietly. She had always wondered at the coldness that would suddenly appear in Mr. Lowood’s attitude with her. She wondered if those were the times that he remembered her family and then hated
her
. How could she continue to live in a house like that, knowing that he had hated her and her family. Claren knew somewhere in her heart that it was true, her family deserved to be hated and would have been hated by more people if the ugly truth had ever come out, but her grandfather had done a good job of covering up his sinful deeds by good ones.
“Please stay with us Claren. Forgive this foolish old man, do say you will stay.”
“Father, I think it is a lot to ask Claren to stay, now that she barely knows the truth. I myself am having a hard time dealing with it.” Etrigan’s words stung Claren’s heart. She had to consider his feelings towards her now.
Did he blame her as well?
“Thank you, for finally telling me the truth. I don’t blame you for feeling the way you did Sir, even though my parents, nor I did these vile things to your family. I cannot apologize enough for what my grandfather did to you and your family.” Claren stood up and faced Etrigan. Her legs felt weak from not eating or sleeping.
“Etrigan, I am so sorry you have had to live your life away from everyone else because of your wings. But please know this, I have never seen your wings, only you as a person. I have not been paid to be your companion here and your father always told me that I could leave whenever I wanted to, but after I met you I did not want to leave, even when you were being mean to me. I know that you may never be able to forgive me Etrigan and I am sorry for that too. After I met you everything in my life changed and now even if I leave, you will be with me. I now carry you in here, with me forever.” Claren took Etrigan’s hand in her own and brought it to the middle of her chest where her heart was. She could not continue her words without sobbing. There was so much more she wanted to tell him. How he made her feel, in her heart. She saw the confused look on Etrigan’s face and slowly let go of his hand.
“I need to rest for awhile.” Claren said leaving the room.
When father and son were alone in the room, Etrigan questioned his father about Claren.
“I understand why you did the things you did, but now what are we to do?” Etrigan asked. His father rubbed his aching forehead.
“We wait to see what she wants. I meant what I said, all my feelings of hate and revenge are gone. I know it seems so absurd to make such a claim, especially after years of hate, but I feel somehow lighter, happier, now that I have given myself permission to let go. I want Claren to be happy. I can send her abroad to live on her own and I can take care of her financial needs. Or she can remain here with us.”
“All your feelings of revenge are gone, just like that are they?” Etrigan said in mild disbelief.
“It’s been a process Etrigan, it has not been “just like that”. Since I first took Claren in to live with me, I have struggled with these feelings. That is why I finally realized that I needed to put these demons to rest, these demons that have taken up residence in me when your mother died. I went back to the mines where I was born and apologized to my dead parents for not further seeking revenge.”
“You went back to the mines? That’s where you were?” His father nodded.
“Yes, and while I was there I remembered what my father told me as he lay dying. He told me to let go of my hate. For me not to have revenge in my heart.” Etrigan looked out the window seeing the darkness cover the green hills far behind his home.
“I had listened to him for a little while and while I did, I found happiness, but at the first sign of trouble I let it right back in to my life. I was weak and lacked character. What a wretched man I must be to try to punish a young girl for something that had nothing to do with her.”
“Father, you are right about Claren, she is gentle and forgiving but I think she will need time to grasp everything. She may be frightened of you now.” Fredrick lowered his head and looked down at his hands.
“I have never been so ashamed in my life but I want her to know that I wish her no harm and whatever she decides, to leave or stay that is fine.”
“I want her to stay.” Etrigan said.
“You are not angry, now that you know who she is, who her family is?”
“No, she is not her family. She did not throw you in that mine for money. At first I thought perhaps I should be loyal, to the men who you say died in those mines, to my grandparents, to you. But these last few days I could not come to terms with hating someone for something they themselves did not do. If my own grandfather told you to let go of your hate, that means he would want me to forgive and forget as well. Claren brings good to our lives, and I would like her to stay.”
“You have grown so much Etrigan, thank you for your understanding and not being overly angry with this old man. As for Claren, I can see you have grown quite fond of her, but if she leaves, that would be her decision to make.”
“No, I’ll talk to her and make her see…” Etrigan said in a determined voice.
“We can only share our feelings with someone my son, but we cannot force them. Claren seemed to be trying to tell you something about her feelings towards you just now but you were silent.”
“I didn’t understand her gesture, what she meant. I know that my heart stirs when I think of her dating or even looking at other men, that I want to be with her protecting her, making her happy.”
“You didn’t understand her gesture? From all the books you have read, you didn’t know she was telling you she loves you? And by your actions and thoughts you love her.”A stunned silence was all Etrigan could manage but he instantly knew it was true. The scales had been lifted from his eyes and he knew that he loved Claren.
“Sir, a young gentleman is in the foyer wanting to see you.” Mrs. Whitby had knocked while opening the library door with a loud creaking sound.
“Is it Mr. Bitwater or Mr. Peterson?” Etrigan asked Mrs. Whitby directly. She smiled inwardly that he was addressing her himself.
“No Sir, it’s a Mr. Wandsworth.” She answered and left to go back down stairs.
“Just what I need! Why the devil would he be here?” Fredrick asked out loud. Fredrick hurried downstairs to meet Kurten. Etrigan followed slowly but remained hidden still reeling from his revelation. He saw Kurten and recognized him as the young man who he had told to leave.
This was the man that had tried to hurt Claren! How did his father know him?
Etrigan wanted to grab the young man by his throat until there was no life left in his body but restrained himself knowing that yet another piece of the puzzle was about to be revealed. Kurten stood in the foyer in his new purple velvet coat. The color was labeled “Royal Plum” and that is what he felt like today. He had risen early and had a full treatment at the men’s spa. An hour long rub down, a soak in a mint bath, facial and champagne shampoo and cut. He planned to be married by tomorrow evening and did not want his new bride to find him repelling. He knew one way or another his plans were finally coming together.
His eyes lit up when he spied Fredrick moving down the stairs in a non hurried manner.
“I won’t question you as to how you found me at Westwind, but I will ask why you are here?”
“Now is that any way to treat an old business associate?”
“I believe our business was finished.” Fredrick said regretting the day he contacted the seedy fellow. Kurten raised his eyes towards the ceiling above them.
“No, I do not believe it is quite finished yet. In fact my business is upstairs.”
“What the devil are you talking about Wandsworth? I paid you for information and now we are done with the matter.” Fredrick said, a note of anger creeping in to his voice. Kurten’s mouth twisted into a snarl of contempt.
“Don’t play games with me old man! My business is Claren Maidstone. I know exactly who she is and what she is to you. What I don’t know is why you have her here.”
“What do you know you fool? Go back to the bar that I found you in before I call the constables.”
“You? Call the constables? That is truly laughable. Do not try to threaten me Lowood or shall I say Brighton? You are not the only one who has his methods of acquiring information. I have been in this town for months finding out about you, and just why you would want Claren, the only living Heiress to Maidstone industries in your home. At first I thought you must be like all men. You want her for her beauty and her money, which I won’t begrudge. I can most definitely understand a thing like that.” A bitter taste found its way into Fredrick’s mouth and he began to truly realize the vileness of this character.
“But, you didn’t. You have money, you have looks and no end to women in this city who would love to be your companion, legal or not. So you don’t need Claren for any of those things. That is when I realized you wanted her for revenge. So please drop the respectable and distinguished man routine with me.”
“You scoundrel! You still have not told me what you want here!” Fredrick knew Kurten had him against a rock, he did not want the police here. He did not want his son exposed to the police and eventually the council. A slow smile spread across Kurten’s face.
“I want what belongs to me. You let me take Claren out of here tonight without so much as a peep and you will never hear from us again.”
“Take Claren away from here? What on earth for, so you can hurt her because what she did to your pride?”
“No, to marry her of course. I love Claren, as absurd as that may sound to you. I have forgiven her, and she without even trying, has made me a better man by rejecting me. I realize that I cannot expect to keep someone as pure as she is, and I myself be soiled. I no longer drink or gamble thanks to her.”
“What makes you even think she would consider marriage to you?” Fredrick said feeling sick, knowing that his opponent was about to pull out his trump card. With a queer little smile on his face, Kurten rubbed his hands together briskly as if they were cold.
“Well, if I cannot marry Claren, I will expose your son to the world. I am sure there are many individuals that would be extremely interested in his existence.
Science departments, the Grand Council,
just to name a few. I have left recorded documents at every postage station in the city with instructions for the packages to be delivered to every major news house within a 2000 kilometer range. Only my fingerprint can stop the delivery, which I will only do when we have safely arrived back in St. Marhen and Claren is my wife.” Kurten waved his finger at Fredrick.
Kurten became aware of a great gust of air being blown in his face and a second later Etrigan was standing before him with his hand around his throat. He easily lifted Kurten off of his feet and walked the astonished man backwards toward the door. Etrigan could hear his father call out to him in a shocked voice but it sounded very far away to Etrigan. Etrigan could only see Kurten’s face through a thin veil of red.
“You will never have Claren, she belongs only to me. Do you understand?” Etrigan said menacingly. Kurten was moving his feet trying to find ground while clawing at Etrigan’s grip. Etrigan tightened his grip on the man’s throat and shoved him against the wall.
“Do you understand me?”
A gurgle that passed for an affirmative answer escaped Kurten’s lips that were quickly turning blue. Etrigan opened the door with one hand and tossed Kurten out the door with the other.
“Leave here and never come back. I do not care who it is you think you will tell about me. Real love, you cowardly miscreant, is never intimidated, never frightened and is forever.” Etrigan stared hard in to the other mans eyes, his silent message and threat clear.
The front door slammed loudly enough to wake up Dekker and Horace from their post in the bushes. They had arrived early and tied their horse to a tree, waiting for the arrival of Mr. Lowood. They had no way of knowing that he was already at Westwind. The two young men rubbed their eyes sleepily and watched Kurten scramble away towards his horse in a hurry. Dekker rubbed his eyes again and leaned out of the bush.