His Brother's Wife (14 page)

“Like what?” Jesse asked,
his voice rising to almost a yell. “There ain't nothing she could
want I can’t give her.”

“No, I don’t suppose there
is but I’m not sure how well you’re going to be able to.” Rafe
scratched at his chin, wondering how to word what needed to be
said. He decided just saying it would be best. Taking a deep
breath, he looked Jesse in the eye. “Have you ever been with a
woman?”

If possible, the kid’s
face flamed a brighter red than his hair. His freckles seemed to
grown three sizes and swallowed his entire face. “Why’s that
matter?”

Rafe chuckled before
shaking his head. “Well it don’t. Not really. Most women are
virgins when they get married. No one says a man can’t be as
well.”

Jesse turned to stare out
the window. The back of his neck was red. Rafe knew he was
embarrassed but damn it, the kid had to be told what he was getting
himself in to. “Grace is going to want kids, Jesse. Most women do
and the only way to get them is…” Damn if it didn’t feel like his
tongue grew by half. He couldn’t make himself say it. Talking about
Jesse making love to Grace was just…

“I get what you’re trying
to say, Rafe. It’s why you said I’d have to sleep in her room,
right?”

Rafe exhaled a pent up
breath. The kid did know what he was talking about. Thank the Lord.
“Yes.”

“I wouldn’t have to do
that right away, would I?”

“Well, a marriage isn’t
legal until you do.”

Jesse continued to stare
out the window, studying the darkness beyond the glass for long
minutes. He sighed, his shoulder heaving with the motion before he
straightened his back and turned to face him. “Then I guess I’ll
just have to do it.”

He was still blushing,
Jesse was, and Rafe didn’t know if the kid’s ears would ever regain
their natural color. “Or you could let Grace marry someone closer
to her own age.”

Jesse’s body went stiff,
his lips pressed into a thin line before his brows lowered. “And
who would I let have my wife? You?”

The thought had crossed
his mind a time or two but it would never happen. Rafe didn’t tell
him so, though. He wasn't even sure why he withheld the knowledge
from him. It would have eased both their minds to say it out loud.
To say he wouldn't marry Grace, but the words never
came.

Rubbing a hand over his
face, Rafe pushed off the table and walked across the room. “We’ll
talk about this later. I’m going to bed.”

“You ain't getting her,
Rafe! She’ll just run away from you like your the other woman in
your life did.”

The bedroom door closed
louder than Rafe would have wished and Jesse’s biting comment was
why.

Jesse knew nothing of
Maggie or Katie, other than the little bit Rafe had told him, but
the kid's words were never so true. Maggie and Katie did leave him.
They hadn't loved him enough to stay. As bitter as the truth was to
acknowledge, Jesse was right. Grace would leave him, too. When she
realized he was nothing special, she'd find someone else to love
and leave him like the others did. It was why he fought so hard to
keep his distance from her.

He should have never told
Jesse about Maggie or Katie. The only reason he had was to let
Jesse know his life the past ten years hadn’t been a picnic like
he’d thought. It was because of Maggie that he'd taken off to begin
with. He'd been prepared to ask her to marry him, he'd even bought
a ring, but she chose Holden Avery instead. One of his best friends
had stolen his girl right out from under him.

He'd never hated a man
until that day and just seeing Holden and Maggie together drove him
half mad. He'd headed south the next day, picked a side in the war,
and barely felt the brutal effects of it. The news of Maggie's
death had hit him hard and left him numb for months.

Meeting Katie a year later
was a godsend and she mended his broken heart the only way a woman
could. He'd fallen for her hard, all thoughts of Maggie tucked away
in the privacy of his soul, and he vowed to do everything right
this time. By the time the war ended, he'd been ready to get on
with the living of his life, start a family and maybe even bring
Katie back to Montana.

It wasn't meant to be.
Just like Maggie, Katie found someone better. She took what little
money they had and ran off with a gambler in the middle of the
night, never looking back.

The thought still left a
bitter taste in his mouth. He’d let down everyone he cared about.
Jesse and his pa, even Katie, to some degree. If he’d been able to
give her everything she wanted, she wouldn’t have gone looking for
it in all the wrong places. She'd never have met the
gambler.

And his pa wouldn’t have
worked himself into an early grave, leaving Jesse alone to fend for
himself.

He sighed. Leaving home
had been the single most disastrous mistake of his life and he had
a lot to make up for. Taking care of Jesse was one of them.
Figuring out what to do about Grace was another.

A large part of him wanted
nothing more than to marry her, to fill her belly with his babies
and live the rest of his life with her right by his side, but that
wasn’t going to happen. Even if Jesse gave them his blessing Rafe
would never ask for her hand. The dream was nice but he'd had his
heart broken twice and he wasn't about to let Grace stomp on what
was left. He didn't have it in him. Not anymore. What was left of
his heart wasn't big enough to love a woman the way he needed to,
anyway. It probably never was. Maggie and Katie left him for a
reason. Grace would find it eventually and once she did, she'd be
gone as well.

Chapter
Thirteen

The coffee was already
brewed by the time Grace heard Rafe moving around in his room. She
glanced in that direction before walking to the shelf above the
sink and grabbing the plates. A nervous flutter erupted in her
stomach just thinking about seeing him.

She’d been up half the
night, unable to think after the kiss he’d given her. Her lips
still tingled just remembering it. She’d been kissed before but
never had she felt so… giddy afterwards.

Most of the time, she felt
quite queasy. Most of the men she’d courted were older and too
eager for a young bride. Their attention was lavish and she hadn’t
minded until they tried to steal a kiss. Their lips had felt
nothing like Rafe’s. Where his were soft and warm, others seemed
cold and… wet.

She shuddered just
thinking about it.

Setting the plates on the
table, she smoothed a hand down the front of her new dress. Grace
wondered what Rafe would think of it. It was plain and did nothing
to flatter her figure but the sunny yellow material was dotted with
small blue flowers and looked feminine, but that was all she could
say for it. It hung straight down her body and the hem was a bit
long. She’d have to fix that sooner rather than later. It wouldn’t
do to trip on the thing.

Raising a hand, she patted
at her hair to check that it wasn’t falling down. Instead of
pulling it up into a bun as usual, she’d braided it and left it to
dangle down her back. She’d seen several woman in town wearing
their hair that way and thought it had looked softer, somehow. It
didn’t make the face look as stern. So matronly.

She shook her head at her
musings. It didn’t matter. Not about the way she styled her hair or
the unflattering dress. What mattered was Jesse and
Rafe.

The moment she thought of
Rafe, a tiny smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. The
soul-altering kiss he'd given her the night before had been filled
with so much passion, she'd had trouble sleeping.

She forgot about her plans
to leave, too, unpacking the rest of her trunks instead. That kiss
proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Rafe liked her. He wouldn't
have kissed her so ardently if he didn't.

Imagining being his wife
caused her pulse to leap, for her cheeks to burn hot, and an ache
to throb between her legs so intense, she was embarrassed at the
thought. She was a lady, but one simple kiss left her foggy-headed
and feeling as wanton as those painted ladies hovering at the door
of the Diamondback Saloon.

Hearing the door to Rafe's
room open, she busied herself with their breakfast. She couldn’t
make herself look at him regardless of how much she wanted
to.

He didn’t move after
opening his door. Or she didn’t think he had. She didn't hear him
cross the room which meant he was still in the doorway watching
her.

Heat burned her cheeks.
Stealing a glace at him out of the corner of her eye she quickly
looked away, puzzled. He looked angry. His brows were lowered and
his arms were crossed over his chest.

Taking in a deep breath,
she turned her head his way. “Is something wrong?”

“Why would anything be
wrong?”

She looked at him then,
bathed in a soft orange glow from the oil lamp in his room. He took
up almost the entire doorway, his shoulders nearly touching the
frame. “You look irritated." She smiled. "Or are you always this
surly first thing in the morning.”

He made a small “humph”
noise before crossing the threshold and walking across the kitchen
to the table, picking up a mug and pouring coffee into it. He took
a sip, looking at her over the rim, his gaze raking her body from
head to toe. He lowered the mug and nodded too her new dress. “I
hope you didn’t spend my money on that ugly thing.”

Her smile died in an
instant. She watched him stare at her and smoothed a hand over the
calico. “You don’t like it?”

“No. And do something with
your hair. You’re far too old to wear it styled that way.” He set
his mug on the table, walked to the door, shrugged into his coat
and hat, and left without another word. Nothing about the kiss
they'd shared, or the passion she felt rising between
them.

Just more hateful, biting
words. Had she imagined the desire between them? Was she so naive
as to not know the difference?

Raising a hand to her
mouth, she knew she hadn’t imagined it. Her lips still stung in
remembrance.

Was he regretting
it?

She stared at the space
he’d been standing, recalling everything he'd said. He didn’t like
her dress. Without thought she reached for her hair.

Her spirits plummeted
moments before her temper flared. That insufferable man! Still as
churlish as ever. Had he been teasing her with that kiss? Did he
take some small satisfaction in the fact he took what he wanted and
caused her to moan in dreamy ecstasy from it?

He probably
did.

The more she thought about
it, the madder she became. Humiliation burned a trail across her
skin until she was sure she was as red as Jesse's hair.

By the time Jesse walked
into the kitchen, she was fuming. She slammed the breakfast dishes
onto the table, served him, and ran up the stairs, flinging herself
into her room. The door slamming wasn’t enough. She wanted to throw
things. She wanted to smack Rafe Samuels’ arrogant face and tell
him what a loathsome pig he was.

She sighed.

She wanted more kisses and
looks that heated her blood. “You are such a fool,
Grace.”

Slumping onto the bed, she
stared out the window at the lightening sky. The sun was just
peeking up over the mountains in the distance. They stood alone,
holding silent vigil over the valley.

A dark shape crossed in
front of the barn and headed toward the house. Grace knew it was
Rafe without even seeing him clearly. She’d know that walk
anywhere. The walk of a man who was proud, stubborn, and downright
ornery.

The back door opened and
shut moments later and she couldn’t make herself get up to join
them for breakfast. She couldn’t face him. Not yet. Not while her
stomach felt so queasy just thinking of how foolish she was acting.
To think she’d spent so much time the night before dreaming of how
her life with him would be. How wonderful it would be to make love
to him, to have him whisper in her ear as he branded her body and
soul as his.

She sat there, in her dark
room, watching the sun rise over the mountains. Sat so long Rafe
walked back across the yard, entered the barn and returned moments
later with his horse. He climbed into the saddle, adjusted his hat
and looked up to her window. She couldn’t see his face clearly but
he sat there for long minutes before turning the horse and heading
for the pasture.