His Name Is Ron (58 page)

Patti

As I sit here today to express my feelings, I am filled with raw emotions—anger, frustration, sadness, deception, fear, and hatred. I was raised with morals, values, to tell the truth and to be respectful to and of others, whatever their race. I have tried to live up to and by those standards and have instilled the same in my own children. I ask myself almost every day, What is happening in our society? What has happened to our justice system? Why is there more violence and racism than ever before? What message are we giving our children? If you have money and/or you are a celebrity, you can get away with
LYING
… you can get away with
CHEATING
… you can get away with
VIOLENCE
… you can get away with
RAPE
… you can get away with a
BRUTAL MURDER!
You are treated differently from others. There has not been a day since I felt you were responsible for Ron's death that I have not hoped you would experience the pain—emotionally, mentally, and physically—that you inflicted upon Ron and Nicole. You never shed a tear, you never expressed sorrow, you never showed the slightest bit of remorse. As I watched you in court every day of the criminal trial and for several days of the civil trial, I am convinced that you are not capable of feeling any pain or remorse for the heinous crime that you committed. You took Ron's life from him and from others whom he befriended. You also took away a major part of our lives. As a parent, I can't imagine anything worse than losing a child due to an illness, an accident, or to a natural cause. But to lose a child caused by the brutality of another human being is beyond comprehension and acceptance. I experience an overwhelming
sadness each and every day for the pain and suffering I see in Kim and Fred especially, not to mention the pain experienced by my children, Brian, Michael, and Lauren, and by me. I wish that something could and would bring Ron back from this horrendous nightmare, but you have made such a miracle impossible. We were a normal, blended family who wanted to live life to its fullest—quietly and peacefully. Our lives will never be the same. There will always be a void—that being the loss of Ron's love, his affection, his warmth, his laughter, his smile … his everyday presence. Our family will always be associated with the “Trial of the Century” and we will always be remembered as a family who honored Ron and gave him a name—an identity. We searched and fought for justice, with all of our strength, determination, and love. Ron was and still is a real “hero.” He made a choice to help his friend Nicole, the mother of your children. In the process, he sacrificed his own life. I will forever hold you responsible for Ron's brutal, savage, and untimely murder. You will be recognized, despised, branded, ostracized, and, someday, hopefully punished for being the “killer”—who got away with murder. For this, my hatred for you is and always will be indelibly etched in my mind.

Kim

I have thought long and hard about how and what to say. I think I got caught up in trying in some way to say something that would affect you … but then again, what could I possibly say that would affect a beast who slits his wife's throat and leaves her for his children to find? And a beast who traps his victim in a corner, brutally stabbing him over and over, thirty times over? A beast who has no remorse for the pain, grief, and anguish he has left behind? How could I possibly affect a beast who beats “his” wife in “his” house and blames her? A beast who, while in jail, signs autographs and writes a “poor me” book during the trial of his murdered wife? A beast who walks around chatting and telling jokes while the victims' families sit a few feet away? A beast who cares nothing about finding the true killer because he knows he wouldn't have far to search?

What could I possibly say that would inflict as much pain on you as you have left with me? What could I do to you that would leave you feeling as empty as I am? The answer is nothing. There will never be anything that would reach my level of sadness, which will forever be a part of my life. All I can do is tell you that, while you were so enraged, wielding a six-inch blade, stabbing Ron in the heart and lungs, that while you were viciously and maliciously cutting Ron down, you single-handedly, in one minute's time, destroyed all of our lives.

You took my best friend, my confidant, my only sibling. You took my hero. You stripped society of a gift: Ron. You took his dreams, his hopes, his future. You took a wife and a family that will never be. You took his entire life. A human life. What gave you the right to take all of that? Did
you know that each time you sliced my brother you were cutting me, too? With each stab you were taking pieces of me. You have killed a huge part of me. So, while you may have thought that you were physically hurting only Ron, you were simultaneously taking away my life. What gave you the right to my life?

My life was to be shared with my only brother. We depended on each other completely. We knew each other better than anyone. We were to share our successes and our failures together. We were going to raise our children together. We were supposed to share our adulthood together. We were going to be together forever. We were inseparable. What gave you the right to destroy that?

I will never again see his smile, hear his voice, or listen to his laughter. I will never again hold his hand, touch his face, feel his arms around me, or give him a kiss. I will never again be able to tell Ron how much I love and adore him. I will never again be able to express my pride for his accomplishments. I will never be able to sit in Ron's restaurant, the Ankh. I will never again have my big brother to comfort me in sadness and celebrate with me in good times. I will never play with his son or daughter. I will never have him to walk me down the aisle. I will never be able to see if my children look like their Uncle Ron. We will never again share memories. My photo album will be empty. I will never again have someone say how much we look alike and how similar we are. I will never again hear the words, “You are my best friend, Munchkin, and I love you.” I will never again be whole.

I will forever be asking myself the what-ifs, the what should have beens … the could have beens and the what will never bes. … I will forever be tormented with the desire to have Ron by my side. And what will you, a double butcher, be tormented with? I have a few wishes:

I wish that, for the rest of the days that you walk on this earth, you are shadowed with guilt, and that it slowly and quietly engulfs you until you wither up and disappear. And, until that happens, I wish that society ostracizes and harasses you and labels you the Butcher of Brentwood that we proved that you are. I wish you misery and a never-ending nightmare. I wish that Ron's eyes, the same eyes that watched you slaughter Nicole and then watched as you plunged the knife deeper into his body, the same big brown eyes that watched as you left him to die … that they always follow you, wherever you go. I wish that Ron's face is what you wake up to, in a cold sweat, in the middle of the night: the image of a beautiful young man, a bigger man than you will ever be.

Ron is a hero. You savagely butchered a hero.

I will never let you forget.

Fred

To the sociopathic coward who murdered my son:

The desire to confront you, to tell you exactly what I think of you, has simmered and burned in me since it because so obvious that you were guilty of taking away from me, forever, the opportunity to hug my son and share his life and laughter. Now that I have the chance to confront you, I realize, with breathtaking certainty, that there is no dictionary, not thesaurus on earth that contains the words I need.

You took from Ron his entire future.

You took from Ron his dreams, his future successes.

You took from Ron the opportunity to laugh, to feel the sun and the wind and the rain.

You took from Ron the opportunity to marry a woman he loved and who would love him.

You took from Ron the opportunity to have children and to be the most unbelievably wonderful father this world could imagine.

You took from Ron the love of his family.

You took from Ron the joy of watching Brian, Michael, and Lauren grow into fine young people.

You took from Ron the opportunity to share the rest of his life with Kim, his sister, his best friend, the other half of his soul.

You took from Ron the love of Patti—more of a mother to him than he ever had before.

You took from Ron the love of a father whose love and respect for him was deeper than he could have ever known.

You took from this earth the kind of man you never were, never have been, and never could be. Nothing can change that. No amount of anger I could vent, or tears I could shed, will alter the one, heartbreaking fact that my son is gone forever. There can be no words that will ever bring him back.

In a just world, you would have been found guilty of savagely murdering two human beings. You would have been sentenced to death. You would have spent the past year sitting in a sunless cell, awaiting the day justice would be carried out.

I believe that this world would be a better place without you.

There is nothing more to say.

You are not worth any more of my words. You are not worth any more of my energy. You are not worth any more of my passion.

You are not worthy to walk in Ron's shadow.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

It is impossible for us to express our appreciation to all those individuals who have offered their emotional, professional, spiritual, and financial support during the past two and one half years. Their numbers are legion. There are some we must single out.

To the prosecution team: Marcia Clark, Chris Darden, Bill Hodgman, Hank Goldberg, George “Woody” Clarke, Cheri Lewis, Lisa Kahn, Brian Kelberg, Ken Lynch, Rochne Harmon, Scott Gordon, Alan Yochelson, David Wooden, Diana Martinez, Darrell Mavis, Dana Escobar, Jonathan Fairtlough, Patty Jo Fairbanks, Gil Garcetti, Suzanne Childs—you gave up so much of your lives in the fight for justice for Ron and Nicole. We have the deepest respect, admiration, and affection for each and every one of you.