“Gran?” he rasped.
“She didn’t want me to tell you. She sick, Sul, and that’s the main reason I tricked you into coming home. She needed you, and I would do anything to give you to her. I’m sorry. God, I didn’t want to drop everything on you like this.”
“So …Kally…?” He didn’t know why he was asking about the horse right now. His brain wouldn’t work. The horse. The horse was why he was here. It was why he’d stayed.
“She’s a pain in the ass,” Brian answered. “But I could have found someone else to sort out her issues.”
“What’s wrong with your grandmother?” Cord asked Brian as he pulled Sully closer. Cord was his anchor. Thank God, he’d come. Sully couldn’t have dealt with this alone.
“Four years ago, the doctors found she had pancreatic cancer. It was an accident. She went in for a different procedure and they found it. She was in the earliest stage and because of that, they could, and did, remove it. They were pretty sure they got it all. I’d tried to find you a few times before that, but never had any luck. While Gran was recovering, I found a guy who’s ex-CIA and still had some connections. That’s when I finally found you. But Gran was fine and you obviously didn’t want to be found. I didn’t know what to say to you, or if you’d listen. I deserved every bit of hate you might have for me. And Gran was cancer-free, getting stronger.”
“I don’t hate you,” Sully interjected woodenly. His entire body felt numb, and he was sure if he didn’t have Cord supporting him, his legs would buckle and he’d sink to the concrete.
“Now, maybe not. But before, I know you held me to the same light as those other men. And why shouldn’t you?”
“Brian, stop. You can’t keep beating yourself up. Hasn’t there been enough of that?” Cord asked, saying what Sully couldn’t right then.
Brian nodded then pushed his hand through his hair. “The reality of this particular cancer is that it almost always comes back. Something like eighty-five percent of the time. They didn’t tell us that before.” He blinked rapidly, his green eyes watery. “It came back, and when it did, it grew fast. She had regular follow-ups. It wasn’t there one visit, and then the next, it was everywhere. It’s metastasized to her liver and lungs, and there’s nothing they can do. She has less than a year—probably far less.”
“But she looks fine,” Sully whispered, unwilling to believe things were so bad.
“She’s in pain and she takes quite a few medications. I’ve tried to make sure she can still do all the things she enjoys. And I got you here as quickly as I could.”
“You could have told me the truth.”
“She made me promise not to. She wanted ‘normal’, not sad. Now, she’s going to be pissed that I told you.”
It was a no-win and Sully knew it. Brian would have anger from two directions. Gran would be angry and Sully was enraged that he’d been kept in the dark. Frustration shook him and he felt the onslaught of burning anger surging toward him. He wasn’t sure he could fight it back. More so, he was furious with himself that he’d refused to communicate with his family all these years. He could have been here for Gran—he should have been.
“Oh baby,” Cord murmured and pulled Sully into his chest. It wasn’t until Sully couldn’t breathe through the sobs that he even realized he was crying,
Gran…no…oh Gran…
Arms came from the other direction, as well, and he felt Brian’s body shaking with his own pain. Half-turning, he wrapped his arm around Brian’s neck and pulled him in closer. Life sucked—it sucked so bad—but if they’d learned nothing else, it was that they had to be there for each other.
Sully didn’t know how long he mourned there, holding his brother, while Cord held him. Cord was the strength for both of them. Finally, Kally Kin cut through his emotional agony with her soft nickering. She’d stopped pawing and stared at them, fidgeting back and forth while swishing her tail. She’d picked up the emotions displayed before her and translated them with her anxious behaviors—just as Cord had predicted earlier when he’d told Sully to calm down.
“I need to take care of her, and I don’t think she’ll let me near her right now,” Sully said, halfway to himself.
Cord rubbed Sully’s back. “I’ll tend to her—”
“But—”
Cord shook his head and shushed Sully. “I know horses, too. Even irritable ones. Let me do this for you today. Tomorrow, you and Kally Kin can go at it again.” He kissed Sully’s temple. “Go be with your gran. Let me be your helpmeet, okay?”
* * * *
Cord waited until Sully and his brother had left to clean up their faces then be with their grandmother before he turned to the horse.
“So, little girl, what’s your damage?” he asked. He carefully yet determinedly approached her, allowing no fear. To his surprise, the animal remained calm and even nuzzled her head against his upper chest. After a moment, he took a small step back and looked at her head, stroking her with gentle hands. She was a smart beast. “You want me to make you feel better too, don’t you?”
Taking a chance, he entered the stall and ran his palms along the horse’s body. Her ribs seemed more pronounced than they should be. She wasn’t eating, or if she was, she wasn’t eating enough. The animal’s coat seemed off, as well, but since he didn’t know her normal condition, he couldn’t be sure. The changes in her behavior and her history of being trained at the equestrian center prior to coming back here were big clues too.
He pulled back and considered Kally Kin. “Let’s get you some exercise, little girl. I bet you haven’t done that in a while, have you? Not what I have in mind, anyway. You’re bored to death, aren’t you? I have a feeling I know exactly what’s wrong and your vet’s a fucking idiot!”
Cord was sure Sully was exercising Kally Kin, but he was equally sure she was getting off easy too, due to her cantankerous behavior.
Determined to get to the bottom of this issue he’d seen plenty of times before, he went in search of longeing cavesson—the harness he’d need for leading Kally Kin around the ring. He planned to have her trotting around the training circle to get her all warmed up.
To his surprise, she took the tack without protest, and in minutes, he’d led her outside. He’d rarely seen a happier horse. To the untrained eye, she looked perfectly content and healthy, and her demeanor seemed genuine, too. Kinda like him and Sully. Everything looked okay, but everything was definitely not. He only hoped they could fix things between then before they went completely off the rails. And that laid firmly on him. He had to talk things out with Sully then pray for the best response and some sort of viable solution.
Working Kally Kin, he let his mind wander while he kept her running. He felt strangely at peace doing this, far more successful than when he was wrangling cows, moving hay bales and mending fences. He did other things at the ranch, but those seemed to take the main share of his time. It was a good life, close to the land, but he missed autonomy he’d had with the rodeo. He even missed working with the circuit’s animals. Most of the time, being the modern cowboy he was, his travel companion was an ATV or his truck because of the enormous size of the land he worked.
But horses like Kally… Huh. He’d never considered how connected he’d been with them through childhood and early adulthood. Perhaps a solution wasn’t too far off if he found a place for him and Sully, a place where they could both invest in their deep-down passion for animals, horses in particular. Well…that and he’d have to talk Sully into leaving the
Flying D
ranch, too. Leaving that comfort, that known for the unknown, might be the trickiest part of all this.
Chapter Six
“Gran, why didn’t you tell me?” Sully asked. He sat beside her, while Brian had taken the chair across from the sofa. His brother looked distinctly uncomfortable, but then again, Gran
had
chided him for not keeping her secret. That scolding always made the recipient uncomfortable.
“And have you look like this?” she replied. “I’ve lived a good long time, and I’m getting to go see your grandpa. There’s a little pain, but Brian keeps me pumped full of morphine, so I’m all right.”
“It’s not morphine,” Brian muttered.
“Oh hush,” Gran admonished. She looked at Sully. “Whatever-the-hoo-zit it is, it works. And I’ve lost the extra weight I’ve wanted to drop my whole life.”
“Quite a tradeoff,” Sully observed. Probably, if he’d talked to Gran first and heard her view of the sickness, as unrealistic as it was, he might not have broken down as he had.
“I’m old, Sullivan, Face it.”
“You’re only seventy! That’s not so ancient anymore!” he exclaimed, feeling his tears threatening again. Jesus! What was he? A thirteen-year-old girl or a man?
“Oh baby boy…” She pulled him closer then pulled a wadded Kleenex from her sleeve and dabbed his eyes. “Don’t cry for me. I’m going home to be with my husband and my only child. I lost them both so long ago and it was like losing almost all of myself. If I hadn’t had you and Brian, I wouldn’t have lasted. I’d already be having tea parties in heaven. But you boys needed me.”
“We still need you, Gran.”
“No you don’t, Sullivan Przkop. You went and grew up on me, and now you have your own family—you and that nice young man, Cord. I’m sure, someday soon, Brian will find his family, too. Now, stop this sad-sacking. I’m still here, and you’re finally home.”
“I am,” Sully agreed, vaguely wondering why the two parts of his life couldn’t mesh. Sully couldn’t leave, not now. He knew Cord would understand, but with the tension between them and whatever it was nagging at Cord, could they endure a long-distance relationship? “I’ll spend as much time with you as I can—”
“No, you won’t!” she interrupted, her words emphatic. “No hovering, no coddling, no mourning for me before I’m even gone. Live your life, do work then you can be with me as you normally would.” She closed her eyes and grimaced. When she reopened them, her sharp edge seemed to have softened. “I wouldn’t mind if you stayed, though. In Kentucky, I mean. Here on
Verus.
”
Swallowing back the lump in his throat, Sully kissed her temple. “When I said I’m home, that’s what I meant. I’m going to be here for you, Gran, just as you’ve always been here for me—and for Brian. We’ll both take care of you.”
* * * *
To Sully’s surprise, after he left his grandmother, he found Cord leading Kally Kin back into the stable. And she was prancing.
Prancing!
“Fickle little harlot,” he muttered. One hour and she’d come around to Cord’s magic touch. Sully could see the animal had worked hard and was definitely hot and thirsty.
“I see you have a new friend,” he said to Cord when he fell in stride with him.
“If what I think is true, she won’t be liking me much in a few minutes. Do you want to go get her some really cold water while I get her to her stall?”
Sully stared at him. “I’m a complete idiot. I’ve been with her a week and I was stuck on behavioral issues. You think she has an ulcer, don’t you? God, I’m so dumb!”
“No, you’re not.” Cord laughed. “You’re one helluva a smart guy.”
Sully didn’t agree. He was still kicking himself when he returned with the water a few minutes later. Some horse whisperer he was. Kally Kin was even rubbing her head against Cord, almost like a needy puppy. He’d never seen her like that—hell, he didn’t know if he’d ever seen a horse do that.
“Don’t get too comfortable there, horse,” he said. “Cord’s mine.”
He handed Cord the water, figuring he could offer it to her. The horse eagerly drank several gulps then stopped. She backed away, flaring her nostrils and grunting.
“Ulcer,” they both murmured.
“Most racehorses and a lot of show horses get this,” Cord offered and Sully knew he was merely trying to ease his irritation with himself. “I saw it a lot on the circuit.” He shrugged. “I might not be right. Any vet will tell you it’s hard to diagnose. It could be a few other things, but I’m pretty sure.”
“How sure are you?” Turning his gaze back to the horse, he noticed Kally Kin was wind-sucking, a classic equine ploy to neutralize stomach acids. He’d seen her cribbing too and just thought it was one of her bad vices. How had he missed these signs? He’d been in the horse business nearly his entire life.
“Ninety-nine percent.” That meant one-hundred percent in Cord-land; he would just never say it.
“I’ll get on the phone with the vet and encourage him to come run the tests sooner, rather than later.”
“Good! She should start feeling better a few days after she starts treatments.” Cord turned back to Kally Kin. “I’ll bet you can’t wait to get back to jumping, can you girl?” She let him rub her forehead again, and Sully grinned at the affinity between the two.
“She really likes you,” he commented.
“I like her, too. She’s a beautiful animal. I’ll get her settled in while you make that call. Then I think we should have that talk.” Cord looked uncomfortable, as if he didn’t look forward to their discussion, and a nervous spout of acid burned Sully’s throat.
He nodded. “I have something to talk over with you, too. I’m going up to the house to make the call from the main office. Meet me on the porch when you’re done with Kally Kin? We can take a walk.” He knew just the place where they could be alone.
Dread weighed on Sully as he headed to the house, not so much because of the call, but because of the upcoming conversation. Was this the end? The proverbial amicable split? His life seemed to be falling to shreds in bits and pieces, so why not the part that kept him balanced?
In case he met up with Gran, he put on a neutral expression as he entered the wide foyer of the house. As he veered to the right and headed for the
Verus’
business offices, he nearly ran into Brian instead.
His brother seemed to have recovered his equilibrium, but Sully could see an underlying sadness in him. It had been there the entire visit, but Sully hadn’t recognized it. He understood it now. He suspected he bore the same poorly hidden grief.
“You look like a man on a mission,” Brian commented when Sully had to almost skid to a halt to avoid barreling into him.