Authors: Sofia Grey
Breakfast with Melanie and Greg was pretty much as I’d expected. Despite being away for a year, I fell right back into our old patterns of behavior, and I couldn’t wait until it was over. Pleading jet lag, I escaped to my mother’s apartment on the next block. I couldn’t even go to my own apartment, as I’d sublet it.
I longed to hear Bens voice, but it was still too early to call him. I’d sent a text to apologize, but it wasn’t the same as talking. Sleep eluded me. After an hour of staring wide-eyed at the ceiling, I contacted my friends to see if they were free.
****
I wrapped my hands around a large caramel latte, sinking further into the comfy chair in our favorite café. Perhaps now I could relax.
Ana slid her chair closer. “Right. Spill the beans. We weren’t due to meet until tomorrow and I’m wondering if this is an emergency session. Am I right?”
I looked from one friend to the other, and silently thanked whatever gods had gifted me these wonderful girls as my buddies. Ana curled her legs beneath her, shoes kicked onto the floor, while Roz sat upright, but both were intent on me.
“Christ, I hate families. They make me itch.” It came out in a rush. “Mom wanted to know when I’m moving back. That’s
when
, not
if
. And Melanie’s already booked me in for a beauty makeover, and a wardrobe consultation, as well as scheduling a time for me to practice my speech. It’s a christening, for heaven’s sake. I’m sure less planning goes into getting married.” I recalled the months of endless detail that had made up Melanie’s wedding, and shuddered.
Ana reached out and ruffled my short hair. “I think it looks gorgeous like this, cute and soft around your face.”
“Thanks.” I took a sip of the coffee. It tasted strangely thin. Perhaps they’d changed the supplier? “It’s been a hideous day so far. The only bright spot is meeting you guys. Can you believe Scott came to the airport to meet me? I didn’t know where to hide myself.” I lifted my hands to my hot cheeks. “When I heard his voice, I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me down.”
They both laughed. “You know he’s dating again, right?” Ana spoke carelessly, and I turned to her. “Well that’s what I heard. Some girl he met at work.” She held up her hands. “Don’t ask. I don’t know anything more.”
“Do you mind?”
I considered Roz’s soft question. “No, I’m happy for him. He apologized. For the proposal.” I hated crowds at the best of times, and hadn’t been particularly enjoying Melanie’s wedding reception, but when Scott pulled me onto the stage, went down on one knee and asked me to marry him…it was all my nightmares coming true at once. I still went hot and cold just thinking about it.
“I remember wondering what the hell he was doing.” Ana, blunt as usual, voiced what I’d been feeling. “And then when you hitched up your skirts and ran, I felt sorry for him”—she held up her finger and thumb, a fraction apart—“at least
this
much.”
“I thought it was a joke,” Roz chimed in, “but then I thought,
hang on
, this is Scott. He doesn’t have a sense of humor.”
“That’s a little harsh,” I murmured. “He just keeps it well hidden.” I’d done the same with Ben, hitched up my skirt and ran, only he came after me. I felt a smile break out over my face, and the girls noticed.
“Aha.” Ana clacked her fingernails on the table top. “There’s more?”
There was, and my smile disappeared. “Greg told me about a team leader role that’s just been created. Here in Emerald City. Since my transfer down under, they think I’m the perfect candidate, and my boss strongly recommends I apply. If I took it, I’d be back here in a couple of months.”
“Yay!”
Roz was first to scramble forward to hug me. “That’s
fantastic
. The three of us will be together again. I can’t wait.”
“It’s amazing news, Dorothy. You must be so excited.” Ana squeezed my hand.
That was just it. I wasn’t.
“I’m not sure,” I muttered. “I need to think about it.”
I was met with open-mouthed stares. Ana recovered first. “What is there to think about? Do they have all our tech in New Zealand?”
“No.”
They have enough to get by, without the constant race for the latest version.
“Do they have all our clubs and restaurants and bars?”
“Well, no.”
They have wide-open spaces and deserted beaches.
“What
does
that place have?” Roz winked at Ana, and then touched my hand. “Does it have a certain special someone?” I blushed, and she crowed in delight. “It
does
. Come on, girl. This you
have
to share.”
“There’s a guy.” I hesitated. If I couldn’t be honest with Ana and Roz, why was I here? “I think he might be special, but it’s new.” They hung on my every word. “Very new.”
“I sense another
but
coming,” murmured Ana.
I took a deep breath. I hadn’t untangled my complicated feelings in my own head yet. How could I put them into words? “I hate families, you know that. I hate the way they’re always in your face. Melanie has bossed me around since we were tiny, and poked her nose into every aspect of my life. I’ve never had a moment of peace. Here in the city, it’s big enough that I don’t have to see her, and since she got married to Greg, she’s busy most of the time.”
“But?” Roz picked up the tale.
“Ben’s very close to his family. Really, scarily close. They live ten minutes away from him, and he’s always calling in, or they’re calling him. He does odd jobs for them, runs errands and stuff. His little sister talks constantly, and he’s got two younger brothers as well. And his mom’s nice, but she wants me to go to dinner, and…” I was running out of steam. “I can’t handle it.”
Roz glanced at Ana. “I might be speaking out of turn here, sweetie, but not all families are like yours.” Her voice rose, when I tried to interrupt. “Melanie is a jealous shrew. She’s been competing for your mother’s attention, and that meant you were usually pushed aside.”
“Let me ask you a question.” It was Ana’s turn. “If you could turn back the clock, and go back to Melanie’s wedding, would you do it differently? Would you accept Scott’s proposal?”
“No.” That didn’t even need thinking about. “We would both have regretted it. We were friends; that was all. His brother was marrying my sister, and it seemed like a logical step. That’s how Scott thinks, and it’d make sense for me to say yes. He was a safe option, you know? After all the dating disasters with Melanie outshining me at every turn, Scott was reliable.”
“Mm hmm.” Roz sounded understanding, but with an edge. “Safe. Reliable. Logical. He sounds more like a Mag-Car than a husband.” I laughed. “Now tell me about Ben,” she said.
“He gave me this.” I fumbled inside my shirt and extracted the shell necklace. “We’ve been friends for months, and then it all came together a couple of days ago.” The memory of us making love against the picture window flashed through my head, and I covered my burning cheeks with my hands. “It’s good. I think he loves me.” My friends stared, little smiles breaking out across their faces. Ana twirled her finger in the air, in a
keep going
motion, and I did. “I think I love him.”
“Right.”
Roz clapped her hands. “Two choices. Stay here and take the promotion, or go and be happy with Ben.”
Put like that, it was ludicrously simple.
I wandered aimlessly through the familiar city streets. On the surface, I was admiring the lights and Christmas decorations, but I didn’t really see any of them. I’d been homesick for most of the past twelve months, longing for my city and everything I’d left behind, so why did it feel wrong now? The crowds of shoppers and tourists were annoying. The traffic was heavy. Even the coffee didn’t taste like I remembered.
Maybe the old cliché was true? Home is where the heart is, and my heart lay securely with Ben.
The promotion would be exciting. Wouldn’t it? I’d have to spend more time in meetings and organizing other people. Being confident and sociable. That was scary.
The idea of leaving Ben behind, of breaking off this fledgling romance we’d started, wasn’t just scary. It paralyzed me with fear.
My decision was made.
****
Another airport, another concourse, but this time, brilliant sunshine poured through the windows and bathed the floor in summer. I stood in the line for a Mag-Car, and dug into my bag for my phone. My fingers brushed against the slim box that sat in there. I hoped Ben liked his present. It’d taken much thought before I decided
what
to buy, and then even longer to find in the stores. Would he appreciate it?
There were three people in the line in front of me. Unlike Emerald City, with its massive fleet of Mag-Cars, Wellington only had a handful waiting at any time, and today, there seemed to be even fewer than usual.
Of course. Flying back, with the difference between the time zones, I’d managed to lose Christmas Eve. It was now Christmas Day. Most people would be at home, enjoying the sunshine. With any luck, Ben would be at his parents. I dialed his number, not expecting him to answer as quickly as he did.
“
Dorothy
. Happy Christmas, sweetheart. I was just about to call you. I know it’s not Christmas there yet, but look at it this way. We can celebrate twice.” I could hear the smile in his voice, and it sent a shiver of pleasure down my spine.
“Merry Christmas, Ben. What are you doing today?” I heard muffled voices and laughter in the background. A dog barked, and a small child squealed.
“Do you even need to ask? With all this noise?” He chuckled. “It’s the barbecue at my folks’ place. How about you? Doing some last minute shopping in the city?”
I thought of the brightly wrapped package in my bag. “Nope, it’s all done. I’m just hanging out. Talking to you.” Focused on my phone, I didn’t realize at first that a Mag-Car sat waiting for me. The sharp honk of its horn startled me, and I waved to the driver, to acknowledge him. “I have to go, Ben. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay.” His disappointment was audible. “Miss you, sweetheart.”
“Miss you too. “ I blew a kiss at the receiver, and then terminated the call. It was only when I settled into the Mag-Car that I realized I didn’t know his parent’s address. I knew the suburb though, and when I told the driver who I was visiting, he knew Ben’s dad anyway. Another quirk of small town life, I mused.
The journey only took fifteen minutes, but my emotions rioted from hold-myself-in-excitement to numb-with-terror.
I’d hated it when Scott had proposed to me, without warning, in front of an audience. I didn’t cope well with crowds, and making small talk with strangers made me freeze with anxiety. And yet here I was, heading into a huge family party, where I only knew a tiny handful of people. Was I crazy? Probably. Was Ben worth the stress? Definitely.
The sidewalk outside their house was nose to tail with cars and vans. Vehicles lined the previously quiet street, and children ran in circles on the grass, chasing each other with balloons, and shrieking as they went. It was bedlam.
I stood there, my single bag by my feet, and watched the Mag-Car leave. There was only one direction to go now, but my feet were glued to the sidewalk. Did I have the guts to go and join the party? What if Ben was there with someone else? I squashed that thought immediately. Not Ben. I’d obviously run out of sensible excuses, and was resorting to ridiculous ones.
I touched the present, now resting in the back pocket of my jeans, and thought some more about him. This was silly. All I had to do was walk up and knock on the door. As though Ben had heard me thinking about him, my phone rang with his ringtone. That was enough to spur me forward. I switched off my phone. No distractions.
Squaring my shoulders, I walked up to the front door, admired the rambling yellow roses again, and rapped firmly with the heavy old-fashioned knocker.
Party noises drifted in the air, and a loud bark heralded Archimedes. He skittered around the corner of the house, and stopped dead at my feet. With a joyful
woof
, he leapt up to rest his front paws on my thigh, a big, doggy smile on his face.
“Hello, boy.” I fondled his soft ears and wondered what kind of mutt he was.
Hot on his heels was Kylie, who squealed when she saw me. “Oh, my
God
. You’re here. Ben doesn’t know, does he?” She hugged me, hard, and then grabbed my hand to drag me to the party. “He’s all miserable. You know, he just tried to call you, and you didn’t pick up. What an adorable Christmas present you’ll be for him.”
We’d reached the edge of the garden now, and I saw people massed in groups and more children splashing in an azure blue pool.
Kylie continued to talk, her voice increasing in volume as we approached the party. “Do you think you’ll marry him? We could be sisters. Or sisters-in-law. I’ve always wanted a sister, and I had the luck to get landed with three brothers. Do you have any brothers? Even our dog is a boy. I’m trying to persuade Mum to get some cats to even up the numbers a bit.” She paused, presumably for breath, and looked at me properly, a teasing grin dancing across her pretty face. “How do you want to do this? Should I fetch him, or do you want to sneak up behind him? Make him jump?”
I had no idea. Getting here had been as far ahead as I’d planned. I stared at Kylie, uncertainty taking hold of me. “I don’t know,” I mumbled.
Kylie spun on her toes, and, with one hand shielding her eyes from the sunshine, peered into the depths of the garden. “There he is.”
I followed her gaze and saw him.
Ben
. He stood in the partial shade of a huge red-blossomed tree, and fiddled with his phone. As I watched, he tapped the screen and then lifted it to his ear. His face twisted, and he shoved the phone into his pocket.
I turned to his sister. “Thank you, Kylie.” I gave her a quick, impulsive hug. “I’ll take it from here.”