His Wife for a While (19 page)

He reached out and took hold of her fingers. "I want to change the subject now," he said.

His gaze turned somber.

"I want you to know how sorry I am that you were so disappointed about... not being pregnant."

She nodded and looked down at the quilt. "I shouldn't have gotten so upset. I was taken off guard. I shouldn't have been, but I was. It was a combination of frustration and hormones, I guess. I really made too much out of it. I shouldn't have let myself get so upset about it."

"No," he said, lifting her chin with his crooked fingers.

Their gazed met and locked.

"I understand how badly you want a baby," he said. "And I understand why."

No one could fully comprehend her reasons behind wanting a child, but she remained silent. It was enough that he tried. More than enough. His concern for her made her chest ache with love for him.

He reached up and touched her cheek. "I know it's been a good week since…" his sentence trailed off for a moment "…well, since your disappointment... and I was wondering if...if..." Again his voice faded.

She knew what he was trying to say and she smiled at his delicate attempt to ask if her monthly cycle was complete.

Blinking slowly, she nodded. "Everything's fine," she told him. "We can try again."

"Good," he said, his mouth drawing into a charming grin. "Because I've been looking forward to trying again."

He moved closer, his fingers sliding to the pulse point of her neck. Surprise forced her heart to quicken.

"But, Ben, you can't mean... you really don't want to...
here
?"

His smile widened and his eyes took on an almost mesmerizing glint. "You're having trouble saying the words again," he murmured. "I want to make love to you here in the woods. Is there some reason we shouldn't?"

The question was sultry and sensuous, and
Chelsea
's tongue flicked out nervously to lick at her dry lips.

"But I've never... I don't think I could..."

He chuckled, a deep, rich sound emanating from the back of his throat. A tingling excitement gathered inside her.

"I'm sure you
can
. The question is, do you want to? I've never made love outside, either," he said, his timbre seductively enticing. "But haven't you ever imagined what it would be like?"

All the while that he'd spoken, he'd been moving closer and closer, and
Chelsea
was shocked to realize that he was only a scant millimeter from her. She felt like the overpowered prey of a hypnotizing cobra… the overpowered, yet willing prey. She looked into his enthralling eyes and melted against him. It took very little effort for him to ease her back onto the quilt.

"No," she whispered, swallowing around the sudden constriction in her throat. "I've never imagined. Until now."

He rubbed his chin along her jawline. "You know what I'd like?" he asked.

"What would you like?" Her response was hushed and automatic, as though she had no control over her own voice.

"I would like, years from now, for you to look back on this time you've spent conceiving your child as happy…" He unfastened the top button of her blouse. "Exciting…" He unfastened the next button. "And adventurous." He unfastened yet another button and slipped his hand inside. His warm fingers glided across her lower rib cage and
Chelsea
inhaled sharply.

She closed her eyes when she felt his moist lips touch her chin. And when he took her bottom lip between his teeth she tilted her face and kissed him.

He smelled so wonderful, felt so good. She was comfortable with her role in their love making by this time and didn't hesitate to part her lips as an offer for him to deepen the kiss. The fact that he accepted the offer elated her.

Ben pulled away and she dragged her eyelids open. His green gaze was dark with passion. It saddened her just a bit to realize that his desire was purely physical, but right now that didn't seem to matter at all.

Leaning on one elbow, he guided her arms above her head and then unfastened the remaining buttons of her blouse, his fingers playing lightly over her stomach as he pushed the material aside. The nerves just under the surface of her skin came alive at his touch and her breath quickened.

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

His tone was husky, and
Chelsea
closed her eyes and reveled in how his compliment made her feel. She knew very well he didn't mean the words he said, that he was only playing a game. A game he took very seriously.

His object in this game was to make her pregnant, and in order to do that he had to stoke the fires of his desire.

The way he touched her and the things he said were a part of that game. But she'd decided from the beginning to become a willing participant. The fact that she enjoyed it so much was simply an unexpected extra, one she planned to savor to the fullest extent.

A sigh escaped her lips when she felt his warm mouth press a kiss on the hollow of her throat. His lips moved lower as he planted tiny kisses along the swell of her breast. The heat of his breath brushing across her flesh tantalized and delighted her.

The passion he kindled in her picked up her self-consciousness about being out in the open with him like this and whisked it away to some far-off place.

If he wanted to make love to her here in the woods, then she would let him. If he wanted her to romp naked among the trees, she would. If the truth be known, at this moment she would do anything he asked. Anything.

Chapter Eight

Chelsea
paced her small bedroom, back and forth, back and forth, and then sat down on the edge of the firm mattress again. She'd paced and sat at least a dozen times during what seemed the longest three minutes of her life.

She'd left the home pregnancy test on the bathroom shelf while the chemicals worked to determine whether or not she was going to have a baby. Her bedroom had been the most logical place for her to wait, otherwise she knew she wouldn't have been able to take her eyes off the small white plastic contraption that could confirm or deny her hopes and dreams.

When the digital clock on her bedside table flipped from
8:07
to
8:08
,
Chelsea
took a deep breath, stood and methodically made her way to the bathroom.

The blue applicator tip told her all she needed to know. She was pregnant.

The emotions that converged on her were kaleidoscopic: euphoria, joy, satisfaction, fascination, and these she could identify and understand. She'd expected exhilaration, had even looked forward it. But she became confused when, along with the good emotions, shadows of apprehension, fear and near panic swept through her all at the same time.

Her hands inadvertently closed over her lower abdomen and she looked down. Her mouth suddenly became dry as sand, as feelings of dread and concern crowded her mind.

This baby was everything she wanted. She had sacrificed so much to conceive this beloved child. She had even opened herself to Ben in a way that she'd promised herself she never would, all for the sake of having this baby.

But what kind of mother would she make? she wondered. Would she be able to give this baby all it would need in life? Would she be able to make it on her own?

She glanced into the mirror, her stark, pale face revealing the truth. The last question that passed through her mind was the one that really concerned her. And to be one hundred percent honest with herself, she had to admit that the real question was: Would she be able to make it without Ben?

The love she felt for him nearly burst her heart at times. Life without him would be bleak and desolate. Life without him…

She shoved the thought from her. She'd made a deal with Ben. She had promised that once she'd become pregnant, she would leave Reed's Orchard.

Ben didn't love her. She knew that. Ben would never love her. She knew that too.

Glancing down, she concentrated on where her palms pressed against her lower stomach. Ben would never love her, but she'd have a small piece of him, a piece of him that she would love and cherish forever. Surely, that would be enough. It would have to be.

A baby was growing inside her. The idea expanded and intensified, and she let the glorious notion lift her up and carry her away until she was filled with happiness that was so big and so pure that it veiled all her doubts and fears.

She could give her child all the love and care that she had never received. A huge smile took over her whole face. Yes, her dream would finally come true. She was going to have a baby.

The early June morning was chilly and
Chelsea
tugged on a sweater before she started through the orchard on her way to work. The wooly gray clouds hanging heavy in the sky did nothing to diminish the lighthearted gaiety that quickened her step.

She couldn't wait to tell Ben the news.

That thought made her step falter and she stopped. Her successful conception meant that there would be no more nights spent in Ben's passionate embrace. No more kisses that turned her blood hot with molten desire.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she contemplatively rubbed her hands up and down her upper arms. Her heart felt as tender and vulnerable as the tiny, newly forming fruit on the trees around her.

She tilted up her chin with determination. She'd known the course her marriage would take from the beginning of her deal with Ben. She had known this time would come.

Granted, she hadn't anticipated that she would fall in love with Ben, but her feelings for him didn't change the terms of their agreement.

She would tell him right away, this morning if she could find him. And then they could work out the best time for her to gather her things and leave Reed's Orchard.

Rounding the building,
Chelsea
pushed her way through the door as she'd done hundreds of times before. Emotions were churning with such a strong mixture of bliss and sadness that she was afraid the turmoil would prove too much.

As she passed the side entrance to the store she heard May's voice.

"
Chelsea
?" May called.

Chelsea
turned and went into the shop.

"Good morning, May," she said, hearing the shakiness of her voice.

"My till is empty."

Chelsea
slipped off her sweater. "I just arrived. I'll get your change from the safe right now."

"What's wrong?" May asked.

"Wrong?" She shook her head. "Nothing's wrong. I'm..." Hesitating only the barest moment, she pressed her lips together in an attempt to contain her elation and failed. "I'm pregnant."

The two words bubbled out of her and she smiled.

"Why,
Chelsea
, that's wonderful." May came from behind the checkout counter and threw her arms around
Chelsea
. But after a quick hug she pulled back, her wrinkled face suddenly crestfallen. "But that means you'll be leaving us soon."