He was now in his office, staring at the photograph of him and the cubs and hating everything. Absolutely everything.
It had been just over a week. He was being dramatic thinking his whole life had changed in that time.
It wasn’t actually possible that he was
devastated
. They’d broken up more than once before. The last time had been big. And he’d survived.
Barely.
Fuck. He sure as hell
felt
devastated.
He spun away from the photo and paced to the window.
This was what they did. They hung out, had fun, until her family needed her and she went home.
So why did it feel so fucking bad this time?
He rubbed a hand over his face. He knew exactly why it felt so bad. Being more than the fun guy she hung out with meant going to Promise Harbor.
It meant doing the things that he sucked at—talking, supporting, knowing what she needed, being there even when he had no idea what to say or do.
Going to Promise Harbor with her, for her, also meant he could very possibly fail spectacularly.
Letting her come home to him in Boston all those times was a hell of a lot easier than being in the throes of the chaos and crap with her. Talking about all the things he
would
have
done
if
he’d been there when her mom was sick and when she passed away was a hell of a lot easier than actually sitting in the hospital and the funeral home.
He growled in frustration and turned from the window.
He was going to have to go. They both deserved to know if he could man up when needed.
He hadn’t had a great role model for manning up and doing the right thing and being there. It was an excuse, and one he hated himself for, but he’d seen firsthand the heartbreak in a woman who had been let down by the man she loved and trusted. Gavin would
never
cheat, but not being supportive, not understanding what she needed, not being able to deliver what she
really
needed would be letting Allie down in another way. He didn’t need to involve another woman to disappoint and hurt Allie—he could do that all on his own.
So he’d just never really tried. It was weak and pathetic and childish, but never trying seemed to feel better than trying and failing, and it protected Allie from heartbreak.
Until now.
He couldn’t let Allie go to Promise Harbor alone.
He didn’t want her trying to handle all of this on her own, and if he was completely honest, he didn’t want her running back into Josh Brewster’s arms when she needed someone on her side.
Allison Ralston was the only woman—the only
person
—in the world who could get him back to Promise Harbor. She was also the only reason that he would ever do what he did next.
He called his father.
“Hello?”
Hearing the deep voice on the other end of the phone for the first time in ten years made Gavin close his eyes and just breathe for a moment. He wasn’t nervous, exactly. But he was definitely anxious about the conversation and anxious to have it over with.
“It’s Gavin.”
There was a long, not surprisingly shocked silence. Then he heard his dad say, “Gavin?” His voice was gruff.
“Yeah.”
“Son. I…”
“I’m calling to tell you something and I really need you to just listen,” Gavin said. He couldn’t listen to his father call him “son” or say anything that might set off his temper. He didn’t want to fight. That wasn’t what this was about.
“Okay,” Greg Montgomery said. “Go ahead.” There was a touch of apprehension in his voice.
Which made sense. Gavin had said some not very nice things to his dad in the past.
“I’m coming back to Promise Harbor, but I need you to not think this has anything to do with you,” Gavin told him. “It doesn’t, at all. This doesn’t mean I forgive you or want to have a relationship. And you will absolutely not call in any favors for me.”
Again, there was a long, tense silence. Then his dad said simply, “All right.”
“I’d be willing to see you,” Gavin said, surprising even himself with the words as they came to him, “if it’s for a family dinner or something. If Mom and Garrett and Gabe are there. Maybe a lunch with Garrett and Gabe sometime.”
“All right,” Greg said again, almost carefully.
“And tell Mom that I’d like to see her. But I’m not sure I can see you alone. Or even just you and Mom. You need to know that.”
Greg cleared his throat. “All right.”
Gavin couldn’t describe the feelings churning through him. It felt…okay…to talk to his dad again. He didn’t feel angry, he didn’t feel resentful, he wasn’t waiting to jump on something to criticize like he’d done those last two years living at home. He’d…moved on. Maybe. He could still get plenty pissed off if he thought about things too hard, but he could maybe, possibly, let it go. A little.
“Is it a girl?” Greg finally asked.
“What?” Gavin pulled himself back to the moment.
“The reason you’re coming ho…to the harbor?”
Gavin realized his dad had almost said “home” but had corrected himself. Gavin thought about that. His dad realized he’d made a life, a home, somewhere else. But the thing was—if Allie was in Promise Harbor, then that
was
Gavin’s home.
“Yeah,” he admitted, “it’s because of a girl.”
“She’s a good one,” Greg said.
Gavin knew his parents and brothers had been at the wedding. Obviously Greg knew which girl.
“Yeah,” Gavin said, agreeing with his father for the first time in over a decade. “She’s more than good.”
“Well,” Greg said with a sigh, “nothing will tear you apart and put you back together better than you were before like loving a woman you don’t deserve.”
Gavin felt his breath lodge in his throat and had to swallow three times before he could speak. It wasn’t exactly fatherly advice, but it was a shared experience. And that was more than he and his dad had shared in a really long time.
“Yeah. Well…tell Mom I’ll be over to see her.” He’d call his brothers himself but he didn’t think he could quite handle his mom crying right now. Which she would do. Without question.
He loved his mom, but there was another woman in Promise Harbor he needed to concentrate on.
“I’m going to Promise Harbor,” he announced as he strode into his kitchen. He knew that Nancy and Carter would be there with Lydia. Concerned, maybe. Curious, definitely.
“Thank goodness,” Lydia breathed.
Gavin looked at her in surprise, but Carter jumped in with, “You staying there?”
“I don’t know. Maybe,” he said honestly. There was a lot to consider. Upending his life here without any warning wouldn’t work. But right now, he just needed to be with Allie.
“I’ll cover things here,” Nancy said. “Call as soon as you can.”
Gavin was surprised at their easy acceptance. Then he noticed there were suitcases packed by the door. “What’s this?”
“I packed for you,” Carter said.
“I supervised,” Lydia said.
There were three suitcases though. He couldn’t just take everything with him in one trip and never come back. “Look, no matter what happens, I’ll have to come back here and tie up loose ends. I only need one suitcase.”
“Those two are mine.”
He turned to stare at Lydia. “Yours?”
She lifted her chin. “I’m coming too.”
“And staying for a while,” he observed.
“Maybe.”
Okay. He really didn’t know what to say or do with that, so he just nodded. “Let’s go.”
He got a hold of Major before they’d even stowed Allie’s suitcase, so the plane was still sitting on the tarmac when Gavin and Lydia pulled up.
Gavin climbed on board to find Allie sitting in one of the window seats, legs crossed, arms crossed, staring out the window. She didn’t even acknowledge him.
Yeah, well, he wasn’t exactly thrilled about this either.
He took the seat right next to her and reached for her hand. He had to tug a little, but he finally linked her smaller fingers with his and sat back in his seat, trying to relax. He was here, with her. That was the first step. That was what mattered.
“What are you doing?” she finally asked, turning to him. “You don’t want to go to Promise Harbor.”
“No, I don’t,” he said honestly.
“Then why are you here?”
The first words that came to mind made the most sense. “Because I need to hold your hand, and I can’t do that unless I’m in Promise Harbor with you.”
She clearly didn’t know what to say to that. She pulled a breath in and then said, “That’s it? That’s all you want to do? Hold my hand?”
He thought about it. That he could do. That he wouldn’t fuck up. So that seemed a good plan. “Yeah,” he finally said. “That’s it.”
She didn’t say anything more, but she finally sat back in her seat, leaned her head back and rolled it to look out the window. She did, however, keep her hand in his.
As they sat and waited for Major to finish his preflight check, Gavin thought about what Allie would need when she got home. He could make sure she slept, ate something decent, didn’t drive distracted.
But what she’d most need was to know that everyone was all right. She needed some answers. She needed to be reassured.
His heart lurched as he realized that he couldn’t do that for her. He didn’t know what was going on any more than she did.
He knew exactly who would though.
Fuck.
He pulled out his phone and fumbled to text Hayley with one thumb. It was a simple message:
I need to get a hold of Josh Brewster.
Like a true friend, Hayley didn’t ask questions. She just replied with Josh’s cell phone number.
His text to Josh was simple too—
Allie needs you. She’ll be in the harbor early tomorrow morning.
He didn’t get an immediate response and he made himself close his phone and turn it off for the flight. Not that it mattered. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew Josh would be there for Allie when she needed him.
Gavin glanced over at Lydia. She was curled up in her seat, sleeping.
He knew she’d been talking with Allie’s brothers, especially Charlie, but he was still surprised how quickly she’d jumped to coming to Promise Harbor with him.
Of course, no one knew better than he did how twisted up someone could get because of a Ralston.
Chapter Ten
Allie awoke three hours into the flight and turned her head to find that Gavin really was beside her. For a moment, she’d thought maybe she’d dreamed it.
He was sleeping too, his head turned toward her, his hand still holding hers.
She felt her throat tighten at the warmth and strength that seemed to spread from her hand up.
He just wanted to hold her hand.
That had been sweet. Just what she’d needed to hear.
She hoped like hell it was true.
She sighed, her gaze running over his face. Every feature was so familiar—the laugh lines around his eyes, the little flip of hair at the crown of his head that didn’t like to lie flat, the lips that said and did the most wonderful things to her.
And he was here, really here, with her, beside her, heading for Promise Harbor.
For what?
She couldn’t stop the thought or the frown that accompanied it. He was coming with her to…what, exactly? Help her? That was nice, but
how
?
She sighed. Gavin wanted a relationship. He wanted to be a “normal couple”. That meant being involved with her family and seeing her every day and being a part of everything she did.
She wasn’t sure she had it in her. Mostly because she wasn’t doing a great job with the people who already depended on her. She wasn’t sure she should add anyone to the list.
But she also couldn’t imagine her life without him.
Josh was the only guy who’d ever been involved with her family. That had been easy though—he’d already been there, a part of things, understanding the ins and outs, not being frustrated or impatient or…jealous. That was one advantage to being with a guy who wasn’t madly, deeply, head over heels for her. He didn’t mind when her family came first. All the time.
Allie looked down at Gavin’s hand. When they’d been talking—okay, arguing—earlier he’d asked when she was going to let them go. The answer to that was never. They were her family. She would be there as long as they needed her to be.
That was going to frustrate Gavin at best. It was going to run him off to Alaska again at worst. If that happened, it would be for good this time.
Of course, if he stayed, there was no guarantee that things would work out either.
They were both from the harbor, but had never been a couple there. They didn’t know each other’s families, didn’t hang out with their friends together, and didn’t show up at the Barney’s Chowder House together. They hadn’t done the sharing-everything-no-matter-what thing.
It could very well blow up in their faces.