Holier Than Thou (The Tome of Bill) (38 page)

“Ah, Sally, you always have your priorities straight,” he said with a chuckle. “Speaking of which, let me see if I have my facts in order. The others are expecting a report, although considering the turn of events, I highly doubt they’ll give it much more consideration other than to note
case closed
.”

I didn’t need to ask further. I knew what he was talking about. The news anchors were practically orgasming onscreen amidst all the chaos. It had been the first thing I had flipped on after reaching the safe house, just to see if anything had been reported about the battle atop the office.

I needn’t have worried. There was so much out of the ordinary going on, that a few fireworks in SoHo were barely a blip on anyone’s radar.

“...the freak storm, which appeared to have come out of nowhere, continues to pound the tri-state area. Meteorologists are still stumped as to its cause or when we can expect it to end. Some local amateur photographers managed to snap some stunning photos of the strangely colored lightning associated...”

“One witness described the scene as a modern day Roanoke. Overnight, the small trading village of Buffalo Valley, located at the Northern tip of Manitoba, seems to have disappeared. Authorities are stumped, claiming it’s not just the town’s residents which are missing, but the buildings as well. They claim it’s as if the forest simply swallowed the small...”

“...Museum officials are refusing to comment on reports that the statue of Osiris - dating back to the twelfth century BC, and currently on loan to the Smithsonian - began to cry what witnesses described as tears of blood...”

“Police still have no leads on what has been dubbed the Mamaroneck Massacre...”

“...the Icon then wiped out Remington’s forces to the last man before Dr. Death was able to intervene, is that correct?”

“Huh?” I pulled my attention away from my nails. They were going to need another coat of gloss. My active lifestyle as of late was playing hell on them. “Yep, that’s what happened,” I replied offhandedly.

“How about our allies in this joint venture? Did any of them survive?”

“Nope. Decker went down early in the fray. None of his coven made it either.” I had personally seen to that little detail before leaving, making sure to be the last one to vacate the premises. I almost laughed at the irony. Decker and his band of magical harpies had convinced themselves that the Icon would be the death of them. Amusingly enough, they’d still be alive if they hadn’t gotten involved in the first place. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophesy. Oh well, I wasn’t going to be shedding any tears for those assholes anytime soon. Although...

I grabbed a pen and jotted down a note. I might as well send Starlight up north to see if she could track down his body. I wouldn’t mind using Decker’s skull as an ashtray. It was the least he could do for fucking up the loft.

“It’s a pity about Remington,” James continued. “His skills were held in high regard by the First.”

“Yep, a pity,” I replied. A pity the asshole didn’t suffer longer. In the end, though, he did scream just like a little girl as Bill was tearing him a new asshole. That was relatively satisfying.

“I dare say, Colin has brought down far more scrutiny on his stewardship of this endeavor than he had hoped.”

I perked up. Finally, this conversation was getting interesting. “How so?”

“Remington’s team had been needed elsewhere, to help shore up defenses at our keep in Northern Siberia. Colin managed to convince them otherwise, that this would be a glorious victory. Needless to say, his decisions in all other matters are currently being questioned.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I lied, not bothering to conceal it in my tone. James knew my history with that prick.

“Actually I’m not. Colin’s leadership skills might be...underdeveloped, but he was an excellent assistant. The truth is I miss him in that regards. There’s a chance I may be able to swing a reassignment for him as my personal attaché. That would make my considerable workload somewhat more bearable.”

I tried and failed to suppress a giggle. It was be so awesome to see him kiss everyone’s ass for a promotion only to wind up as James’s secretary once more. Perhaps there is such a thing as cosmic justice. The laugh also provided me with a needed release from the current stress I felt. It helped mask the worry worming its way through my gut.

Goddamn it Bill, where are you?

* * *

James finally finished his debriefing. I had little doubt he suspected I was leaving details out. He was both smart and perceptive that way. Whereas several centuries of life taught most vampires the joy of hearing their own voices, it had taught James a far more valuable lesson: how to listen. Fortunately, that was coupled with honest to goodness common sense. He knew when to let unimportant minutia slide, especially if it meant keeping things from turning into a full scale avalanche of stupidity.

“Do I have the facts straight?” he had asked, his wry tone indicating he knew I fudged the details a bit. That was fine. We both knew there weren’t any witnesses, at least none that would contradict my story.

“Exactly as I remember them.”

“Excellent. You’ll let me know when he returns, won’t you?”

“I will,” I replied before hanging up. It was the only part of the conversation I hadn’t exaggerated or outright lied about.

I had set up a small nook in the living room to act as a makeshift office, until such time as I felt it safe to return to our actual office. Once I put the phone down, Starlight entered, a pot of fresh coffee in hand. I was almost tempted to smile at her, but refrained. It was bad for my reputation. I knew how James felt about Colin. It was the same with Starlight, except for the fact that she wasn’t a back-biting little dick.

Following the battle, I had called her and given the all clear. She had packed up immediately and wasted no time in returning. The others, Firebird and Alfonzo, would be back the next night. I couldn’t have cared less about Firebird. She and I had never gotten along, tramp that she was. Alfonzo couldn’t return fast enough, though. Gods knew I deserved a scalp massage and a good conditioning after all this shit.

I reached up and felt my temple. The burn from the meatwad’s amulet had finally started to fade. He was lucky he was Bill’s friend. Because of that, I was probably only going to kick his ass for attacking me. The fact that he wouldn’t remember doing it or why, at least after Christy got done mind-scrubbing him, would only make it that much more amusing.

“How are the newbs handling things?” I asked Starlight, taking a business-like tone.

“I set them up at the warehouse with some supplies. They’re adjusting.”

“Any possible runners?”

“I compelled them to stay put, just in case.”

“Good.”

Remington’s thugs had gone on a mad killing spree at the office, slaughtering any of the other tenants they happened to catch. Talk about fucking up our lease! It turned out, though, that they had been sloppy - not finishing the job with a half dozen or so. That was fine by me. Village Coven just so happened to have a few openings in its ranks. Hopefully one or two might even be worth the trouble of letting them live. Either way, though, that was a problem for tomorrow. For now, I needed to concentrate on...

There came a knock from the front door.

Starlight glanced at me quizzically, but I shrugged. It couldn’t be the cops. James had wired a goodly amount of funds to the right parties, convincing them that the raid from the other day had been a mistake. The same would eventually be done with the office. Sadly, it was going to take a bit more time considering the mess that had been made there.

“Think it’s him?” she asked, a hopeful tone in her voice. She was such an optimist. It was almost sickeningly cute.

I took a sniff and frowned. No, it definitely wasn’t Bill. In fact, it wasn’t anyone I wanted to see. Still, I guess it was either open up or have her break down the door.

I stood to smooth my dress - a cute little black number, appropriate for my current mood. Appearances were important, even for company I couldn’t stand. “Open it,” I said with a barely concealed sigh, sitting back down again.

Starlight opened the door for Gan, the little Mongolian princess bitch. She was accompanied by one of her lackeys...the same one who had been led on a merry chase by the witches.

She walked in like she owned the place. Big surprise. God, what I wouldn’t have given for a trapdoor leading to a shark tank, but oh well. Maybe next safe house.

I turned to Starlight, not wanting her to eavesdrop. “Alice,” I used her real name, as I often did whenever I wanted her to be sure I wasn’t fucking around, “would you be good enough to go out and get us some coffee?”

Not grasping my meaning, she glanced at the steaming carafe she had just set down, a confused look on her face.

I so hate when people don’t get the hint. I grabbed the pot and threw it across the room, where it shattered against the wall. Subtlety has never been one of my virtues.

“Oops.”

That got her moving. She stepped past Gan and left, closing the door behind her.

Once it clicked shut, I raised an eyebrow at my guest - only partially because of the Spongebob lunchbox she was carrying. Goddamn, what a weirdo. “I was wondering what had happened to you.”

“How so?” she replied.

“That was a pretty long drop from the top floor.”

She shrugged as it were nothing.

“So what happened?” I asked once it became obvious she wasn’t going to elaborate.

“It is simple. I survived. They did not.”

Okay then. Ask a stupid question. It didn’t really matter, though. I hadn’t doubted she would get little more than a sprained ankle out of the ordeal. One simply doesn’t get lucky like that.

“If you’re looking for Bill, you’re gonna be disappointed. He’s missing.”

“I am well aware. I am here to see you before I depart.”

I couldn’t hide my surprise. She hit me with three big question marks at once right there. Not wishing to seem over eager, I figured I’d save that part about her leaving for last.

“You’re aware? How?”

“His scent is gone,” she replied simply enough.

Her and that creepy nose of hers. She had once told Bill she could track him anywhere. It was probably how she was able to find us up in Westchester. Either that or she had chipped him like a dog...a distinct possibility. Still, if she couldn’t sense him now...

“How do you know he’s not...”

“Dead? Do not be so naive,” she said dismissively. It was all I could do to keep from launching myself across the desk and throttling her. “Had he died, his scent would have lingered with his ashes. This is different. It is hard to explain. It is as if it simply...changed. One moment it was there, the next it vanished.”

“Changed is a good word for it,” I said. It wouldn’t hurt to let her know that part. “He completely lost it after the Icon got iced. He transformed and tore Remington to shreds. When it was all over, he just took off running. He was gone before I even fully realized what was happening. I haven’t seen him since.”

Now it was her turn to look surprised. Her eyes opened wide, excitement shining in them. “You
saw
him?”

I nodded. It had been the first good look I had gotten of him after a change.

“Was it as marvelous as I have heard?”

I considered this. I had to admit it was definitely not what I had been expecting. I’d have to remember that when he got back. It bore...consideration. To Gan, though, I simply nodded again. No point in going into further details. It would only encourage her.

“What of the others?”

“Remington’s forces were obliterated to the man. Ditto with the mages.”

“No, I mean the others who sided with us - more specifically, the witch and her human. Our alliance is over. I meant what I said about punishing them for their treachery.”

I don’t know why, but the lie came out of my mouth without even a moment’s hesitation. “You’re too late. After Bill changed, he went nuts. They didn’t make it. I’m lucky I did.”

Gan raised an eyebrow. She might look like a little girl, but she was perceptive. For all I knew, she could smell the deception on me. Fortunately, I was no amateur when it came to untruths. The best way to fake out a watchful eye was to marinate the bullshit in a little bit of truth. When it comes to cooking up lies, I am an Iron fucking Chef.

“I assume you have no quarrel with Bill’s other friend. I managed to pull him out with me, dead weight that he was.”

“Why would you do that?”

Now
that
was the first good question she had asked. Why had I done a lot of things as of late? There I was, saving Christy and Tom’s asses. I had put my own on the line for Bill and his wannabe girlfriend. Hell, I was even developing a soft spot for his human roommate. What the fuck was wrong with me?

It was a rhetorical question. I knew the answer: Bill was what was wrong with me. He had started off as a means to an end, a way for me to finally claw my way out from being Jeff’s plaything. At some point, though, things had changed. Despite my best efforts, he had become the first real friend I had made in decades. The fucker’s humanity was starting to rub off on me. Now, with all this Icon crap, I even found myself thinking back to my own early days of being turned...something I really was not particularly nostalgic for. What was the world coming to?

Rather than give Gan that insight, though - not that she would care - I simply said, “I was curious as to what would happen to him.”

“He is awake?”

“Not yet.”

“You should kill him.”

“Why?” I asked, genuinely intrigued. It wasn’t like her to take an even passing interest in a human, other than as lunch perhaps.

“He is...an anomaly. Turned by one of us, yet saved by the Icon. He is undoubtedly changed by the experience...but into what, I do not know. The seers speak not of such a thing ever occurring. Such an aberration is not foretold.”

I hadn’t considered that. I figured he’d either wake up normal, or turn anyway regardless of the Icon’s ministrations. Now I was more intrigued than ever. Talk about living in interesting times.