Hollywood & Vine (18 page)

“So this is about jealousy? I’m not a possession, Anders. I don’t need someone pissing on my leg. And for the record, you’re the one who pulled me into your life. You did this.”

“Don’t you think I know that? Why couldn’t you have been like everyone else? Why did you have to be so
you
?”

“I don’t even know what that means.” Josie crossed the room and fell into the vanity chair. With her arms draped over the armrests, she shrugged.

Anders followed her lead and hopped on the counter of the vanity, a humorless chuckle slipping past his lips. “Neither do I.”

Josie studied his face. It was clear the conversation was pushing his limits, although the same could be said for her. Both were in uncharted territory. Her gut told her to walk away, but like last time, she ignored it. “How can this work? Everything is a secret with you. You don’t want to go out in public and you don’t want anyone to know about me. Don’t you see how impossible this is?”

“I don’t know how things will play out, Ivy. And why would you want to tell anyone about us? Just to say we’re dating? To get a boost in your career?”

“Fuck you, Anders!” she spat, pushing up from the chair and stepping between his parted thighs. “It has nothing to do with that. I don’t need help with my career. But unlike you, I have friends and a family I share everything with. Are you saying I can’t tell them why I’m not around as much anymore?”

“Ivy, I don’t care how close you are to these people. Everyone is always out for something. A name-drop, a slip of the tongue, one comment to a buddy trying to brag—it happens all the time. I doubt your family is any different.”

She gaped at him, wondering what had happened to make him so bitter. “You don’t know anything about my family, and apparently you have no intention of them knowing anything about you.” She wiped under her eye with her shirtsleeve and straightened her shoulders. “I’ll go on this trip because you’re forcing my hand, but I won’t spend a second of my free time with you. I’ll have an intern present at all times. I hope you’re happy.”

She turned to leave, her heart lodged in her throat as she grabbed the door handle. She questioned her sanity for entertaining the idea of doing what he suggested. A relationship with Anders would lead to nothing but heartache.

Anders’ defenses were on high alert, but he refused to let her walk away. He jumped from the vanity and moved behind her. “Ivy, please. Wait,” he whispered. Stepping forward, he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. “Don’t go.”

“I can’t do this, Anders. I can’t be your dirty little secret while you gallivant all over Los Angeles with a different woman hanging all over you every time I turn around. That’s not who I am.”

“Most of that is bullshit. But I…I won’t go to those places anymore.” He squeezed her tighter, wondering how much he would sacrifice to hang on a little longer. He wasn’t naive; they wouldn’t last. He didn’t understand why it was so hard to cut her loose. Maybe it was because she fought so hard to be cut loose. Whatever the reason, now wasn’t going to be the time she walked away.

“Do you really trust them?” he murmured, his lips brushing against her ear, his hands sliding up her sides.

Josie stiffened as she processed his words. “What?”

“Do you trust your family?” he repeated. “Because if you do, tell them. But Ivy, they can’t tell anyone and not because I’m ashamed. The paparazzi will eat you alive. I’m trying to protect you.” He pressed his lips to her cheek, kissing away his half-truth.

Josie turned in his arms. Her automatic response was to tell him no, but something in his eyes stopped her. Something sincere, vulnerable. “This is going to be a disaster.”

“Probably.”

“I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.”

“Neither do I, but we’ll figure it out. Just come to Arizona.” Cupping her jaw, he bent his knees so they were eye level and kissed her lips. “Please, Ivy?”

Josie closed her eyes in defeat and finally admitted what she’d been fighting all along. He was an asshole and a fuckup, and he was going to ruin her, but she wanted him anyway. Clutching his wrists, she opened her eyes and met his gaze, her voice just a whisper. “Okay.”

“O
kay. That’s everything.” Josie wiped the sweat from her brow and zipped her suitcase.

“Josie, are you sure about this?” Madison sat on the bed, her face pinched with concern.

“Look, I know you’re worried. Christ, I want to throw up every time I think about what I’m doing. But…” Josie scooted onto the bed and turned to Madison. “I think about him, Maddie. I think about him a lot. And not all of those thoughts involve burying his body.” Josie laughed and looked at her hands. “The truth is, he makes me feel. I’ve dated, you know that, but the relationships always fizzle out, and that’s if there is even a spark to begin with. I thought it was me, you know? That I was the problem. Because it’s weird, right? That I’ve never fallen in love? I’ve barely even been in lust. I thought something was wrong with me. And shit, I’m not saying there isn’t, because of all the people who could make me feel that spark, it has to be the most impossible man in the world.”

“Josie, you’re not broken. You’re just, guarded. You…you don’t give yourself a chance.”

“Exactly, I’ve never cared enough to bother. But now, with this crazy, complicated, infuriating man, I want to. God help me, but I do. I don’t know where it will go. For all I know, it could just be a fluke—ridiculous sexual chemistry that fizzles out like the rest. Or I could end up really liking him and he could break me. Right now I can’t think that far ahead. I like him, but I’m also leery, and it’s still early enough that if I bail, or if he bails, I can walk away unscathed. I just, I need you to be there for me because I’m terrified and I need my best friend.”

Madison squeezed Josie’s hand and smiled. “Of course I’ve got your back. I’ll always be there for you, no matter what. Whatever you need—a shoulder, a shovel, or an alibi—you know I’m your girl.” Madison’s face grew serious, her voice softer. “I don’t trust him, but I don’t think I’d trust any man who has the potential to hurt you. I guess that comes from living with your brother so long.” At the mention of Holden, Madison grimaced. “Speaking of your brother, if your relationship with Anders ever comes out, you swore me to secrecy. We’re pulling the girl code card because there is no way in hell I’m telling Holden about the two of you.”

Josie laughed and hugged Madison. “Deal. Now, I need to get going.” They both rose from the bed and Josie grabbed her suitcase.

“Oh, you never did tell me what you told Craig.”

Josie rolled her eyes and blew out a breath. “I didn’t have to tell him anything. Anders had his people call my people and told them plans had changed and my presence would be necessary after all.”

“Look at you, Ms. Big Time. You have ‘
people
,’” Madison joked while making air quotes.

“Shut up. And don’t air quote me. Ever.”

Madison stuck out her tongue and followed Josie out the door. “Are you sure you don’t want a ride to the airport?”

“Nah, I’m fine. Plus traffic will be a bitch on your way back. Go home and relax. You get a little over two weeks without me driving you crazy. Enjoy it.”

“I’ll miss your smart mouth. Have fun, be careful, and try to do something to make that man less of an asshole by the time you get back.”

Josie pulled open the back door of the cab while the driver loaded her bag into the trunk. “Yeah, I think the chances of that are slim to none, but I’ll be sure to try my best on the other two.” She hugged Madison once more and climbed into the back of the car. Once she was en route, she texted Anders.

On my way to the airport. See you soon.

Anders pulled out his phone and grinned at Josie’s text. It was the first time he had a reason to smile all day. A scowl twisted his face as he looked around his room again. The place was a shit hole, but at least it was separate from the inn so he had some semblance of privacy.

After unpacking, he pulled on his running shoes, grabbed his iPod, and stepped outside. The sun hung above the rim of the canyon and the air shimmered from the intense heat. Red dust swirled around his legs before sticking to his sweaty skin. He couldn’t understand why people chose to live in this environment—the heat, the barren scenery, the endless nothingness.

Heaving a final breath of annoyance, he took off in a light jog toward the trailhead nearby. His lungs burned as sweat gathered and dripped from the tips of his hair. Prodigy blared through the headphones as he maneuvered over the rocks and uneven terrain. He tried to focus on his footing, keep his mind on the movement of his body but all he could think about was what would happen once Josie arrived. He pushed harder, not sure if the burn in his chest was from exertion or the reminder of how he convinced her to come to Arizona.

Questions swam in his head. The unknown of what would happen between now and when things ended. Because it was inevitable—they would never last. He didn’t believe in fairytales or happily ever after. Life sucked and people were assholes. Everything came at a price. He wondered what price he would pay for keeping her around.

“Fuck,” he gasped, trying to slow his breathing as he took in the scenery. The sun shone brightly in the cloudless sky. Jagged rocks protruded from the ground before disappearing into a canyon. On the other side of the canyon, a huge waterfall cascaded over slime-covered rocks, plunging into unnaturally blue-green water. It was breathtaking. Anders clenched his jaw in anger and defeat when his first thought was showing Josie this place. Exhaling, he turned and headed back to the inn.

Later that afternoon, Josie filed out of the van shuttling crew members to the inn and made her way to the front desk. As she waited in line, she looked around the room, stopping when she noticed Anders lounging at the bar.

The hat he wore covered his eyes, the bill pulled low, but Josie felt his gaze like a touch. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and tried to keep her accelerated breathing from becoming noticeable.

She turned away, not wanting to draw attention, and stepped to the front desk. The clerk chatted while pulling up her reservation and Josie tried desperately not to peek over her shoulder toward Anders. When her phone chirped, she smiled and slipped it from her bag.

I thought you were going to text me when you landed.

Answering the attendant’s questions, she typed out a reply and tried not to laugh.

I never said I would. Sorry to worry you, Dad.

After receiving the room key, Josie grabbed her suitcase and walked in the direction of her room. She didn’t know if he would follow, but fortunately, she didn’t have to wait long for an answer. The sound of approaching footsteps echoed in the hallway. A moment later his chest pressed against her back and his lips touched the side of her neck.

“Are you messing with me, Ivy?”

Josie gasped, her suitcase slipping from her fingers. “What? I don’t know
―
”

“You do know,” he growled, scraping his teeth over her skin. “What room?”

“Huh?”

“What is your room number?”

“Ten.”

Anders pushed her forward. “Go open the door, Ivy.”

“Okay.” She reached for her suitcase, but Anders batted her hand away.

“The door, Ivy.” With her suitcase in hand, he slipped inside the room behind her and slammed the door.

Then he was on her. The sound of fabric ripping only intensified the moment as Anders yanked off her shirt. The dark glint in his eyes caused Josie to shiver as his mouth descended to her bra-clad nipple.

“Oh, God.” Josie gripped his hair as he backed her to the bed.

“You have no idea.” The mattress groaned as Anders pushed her onto the bed. Peeling off his shirt, he crawled over her and pressed his hips against hers. “What have you done to me?”

Josie popped the button of his jeans and slipped her hand inside, his dick hardening at her touch. “Nothing you haven’t done to me.”

“Then I guess we’re both fucked.”

“God, I hope so.”

Anders kissed her hard, and for the first time since their one-night stand, their actions mirrored each other’s. No ulterior motives, no means to an end, just the two of them giving in to what their bodies desired.

“This place is a shit hole.” Anders didn’t know why he was talking, but the feel of her hand was ruining his ability to think.

“Shut up and get naked.”

“Condom?”

Josie’s hand loosened and her head fell against the bed. “You don’t have one?” Her voice was whiny and pleading, edging on the verge of defeat.

“Fuck.” Anders dropped his head to her shoulder and dug his fingers into her hips. He wouldn’t have sex without a condom. As much as he wanted her, he didn’t trust her. He’d never trust any woman enough to go bareback.

“There are other things we can do.” Josie grabbed him again and squeezed. Anders’ mouth fell open, a soft groan pushing past his lips.

“Yeah. I like other things.” In a matter of seconds their clothes covered the floor. Anders traced the pattern of Josie’s tattoo with his tongue. “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy this is?”