Hollywood & Vine (31 page)

With a resigned sigh he stripped off his clothes, took a shower, and popped an Ambien. An hour later when he fell into bed, relaxed and numb, he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

The next day he attempted to curb his attitude, but it was impossible. Everyone was an idiot and they all deserved to die. Especially contributing to his bad mood was his earlier encounter with Josie. He’d spotted her and a guy leaning against the wall talking. Anders knew he was an intern from her department, but knowing that did nothing to stop the way his heart rate accelerated and his hands balled into fists when Josie threw her head back and laughed. When she noticed Anders, she gave him a small smile and turned away.

“Fucking hell.” He needed to get a grip and stop letting her invade his every thought. Really, he just needed Aubrey to go away and Josie’s ridiculous break to end.

B
y the time Wednesday afternoon rolled around, Josie was a big mess of indecision. She had no idea what to do about Anders, and every time she tried to work it out, her thoughts moved in circles. She missed him. She was relieved to have space. She missed him. She was better off. She missed him. He wasn’t worth the hassle. She missed him. She missed him.

“There better be two bottles in that paper bag or I’m disowning you,” Josie greeted Madison as she held the door open.

“What do you take me for?” Madison laughed. She pulled down the top of the bag to reveal the two bottles of sake.

“Thank God.”

After dividing up the sushi and drinking a generous amount of sake, they stopped with the meaningless chatter and acknowledged the elephant in the room.

“What did he say about the pictures?” Madison wasn’t going to beat around the bush anymore.

Josie shrugged and took a sip of her drink. “He said Aubrey kissed him. Apparently she was asking a lot of questions so he said some things to throw her off. God!” she exhaled, her face pinched. “I don’t want to even imagine what he said to shut her up. But from the look on her face, it’s not hard to imagine.”

“Well, do you believe him?”

“At first I wasn’t sure what to think. He had the perfect opportunity to tell me about the kiss when we looked at the pictures together, but he didn’t. I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a reason because it’s kind of a big thing to leave out, right?”

“It is.”

“But I believe him. If he wanted to fuck Aubrey Nash, he could have done it a hundred times by now. She’s been after him ever since she came back from Italy, and he’s turned her down over and over.”

“Look, I’m not trying to upset you, but I’m going to play devil’s advocate for a minute, okay?”

Josie swallowed and eyed her almost empty glass before nodding. “Okay.”

“How can you be sure he’s not lying? What if he’s just covering his ass because those pictures came out? He agreed to date her without talking to you, and then he ditched you for a date with her without a second’s hesitation. For someone who claims to not be interested, he sure seems to jump whenever she says.”

Josie grimaced and her throat tightened. “Ouch.”

“Hey, now,” Madison scolded. She slid closer to Josie and squeezed her knee. “Devil’s advocate, remember? I can give you a list of reasons why I don’t believe any of those things, but I’m not going to. You need to do it. Tell me why you don’t believe these things.”

“Okay.” Josie squared her shoulders. Madison didn’t care about being convinced, she wanted Josie to be. “Anders is paranoid someone’s going to find out about us. Stupid, crazy, needs-to-lie-on-someone’s-couch-three-times-a-week paranoid. So he overcompensates for anything that could give the impression he’s involved with someone. Plus he’s not used to answering to anyone. He’s not used to considering someone else’s feelings.”

“He sounds like a regular prince charming.” Madison accentuated her sarcasm with a dramatic eye roll.

Josie laughed. “I know he sounds like a complete asshole. If you asked me to list the reasons we should be together, well, it’d be a short list. On paper, there is no logical reason. Our relationship is irrational. But when things are good with us, Maddie, they’re
―
it’s electric. He drives me crazy. Most times I can’t tell if I want to kiss him or kill him, but he’s also sweet and funny and cocky, which should be a turnoff, but with him it’s not. The way he looks at me makes me feel beautiful. The way he touches me makes me feel wanted. God, he just makes me feel alive.”

Madison smiled. “You’ve said that before
―
about how he makes you feel. I get it, I do, but is it enough?”

“He’s trying.”

“What do you mean?”

Josie told her about eavesdropping at the studio. She found herself smiling as she thought about the time they’d spent at his house, how comfortable she felt with him, and how her heart would race and her body would melt into his when she woke next to him.

The smile slipped from her face as she thought about the last time she’d walked out his door. “I know he’s a good actor, but his face when I left his house… He was upset. He does care about me. I’m just not sure if it’s enough.”

“There are never any guarantees when it comes to relationships. Even happy, stable relationships end. It’s part of life. You just have to pick yourself up and keep going. You said you’re not sure if you love him, but I think we both know whatever’s going on is more than lust. If things end, it’s going to hurt.”

“I just don’t know if I can deal with his lifestyle and everything that comes with it. The lies, the backstabbing, the games. I used to wonder why famous people only seem to date other famous people. Their lives could be more private, have a semblance of normalcy if they dated someone unknown. I get it now. Normal people can’t cope with what being with someone famous entails. They can’t watch someone they are in a relationship with kiss, touch, and hold someone else, even if it is just for a movie or photo shoot. Seeing those pictures almost killed me. It’s why I’ve steered clear of the set. I can’t see their scenes together. It’d feel like watching him cheat, and just the thought hurts.”

“Oh, Josie. That’s one thing I can’t help you figure out. I can’t imagine how I’d react if it were Holden. But it’s Anders’ job, and he’s good at it. You can’t ask him to quit acting. That’d be like telling you to stop designing.”

Josie shook her head. “I would never. I’m not that selfish. But I don’t want to let him run all over me either. He calls the shots in our relationship. How much of myself do I sacrifice to be with him?”

“If you think for one second Anders isn’t just as twisted up as you, then you guys are two blind peas in a stubborn pod. Think about the Anders Ellis you saw in the hallway at the studio all those months ago. Now think about the one you left standing at his house a few days ago. They aren’t the same person and you know it.”

“He’s so damaged. What if I can’t help? What if he never changes? There’s no way I can live with being a secret forever. Wouldn’t it be unfair to stay with him like things are, then change the rules later on?”

Madison pulled in a deep breath and stood from the couch, pulling Josie with her. “Nope. Things change. Life happens. It’s why you need to tell him everything you’re feeling. Set your own rules. Don’t let him control everything. Most of all, stay true to yourself. Decide what’s best for you. The rest will take care of itself.”

Josie hugged Madison after a few minutes of conversation and told her goodnight before she slipped out the front door. With a heavy sigh and slumped shoulders, she made her way to the bedroom and fell into bed. Even after their talk she was still confused. She didn’t want to be a secret forever, but after recent events she wasn’t in a hurry for people to find out about them either. She didn’t want to be compared to Aubrey. Nor did she want to be cast by the media as the other woman who split them up. Wrapping her arms around the cold pillow beside her, she pulled it against her chest. No matter what she decided, the potential for getting hurt was unavoidable.

T
he rest of the week was trying for both Anders and Josie. The more Josie made an effort to avoid Anders, the more he made a point to be wherever she was. He needed to see her. See if she had the same dark circles his makeup artist complained about.

She didn’t. She looked the same as always. She smiled, laughed, and moved around the studio like she didn’t have a care in the world. It made his stomach tighten with anxiety and his jaw clench with anger. Eva had never seemed bothered by anything either.

When Nathan showed up Friday afternoon, Anders was preparing to go out for the evening. He wasn’t going to sit around and wait for Josie to decide if he was worth her time. He’d given a woman that kind of power before and it was the biggest mistake of his life.

“Going somewhere?” Nathan eased onto Anders’ couch and threw his feet on the table. He knew it would piss Anders off, but after dealing with Clarence’s constant bitching about Anders’ attitude, he deserved a little retribution.

“Yup. I’m going out.”

“Well I hope you find someone to relieve the tension you’ve carried around all week. Damn if Clarence isn’t ready to string you up.”

Anders’ fists clenched and his eyes were hard and angry. “Just because I’m going out doesn’t mean I’m going to fuck someone.”

Nathan’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open. “Since when?”

“A while.”

“Well that makes your mood more understandable. I had no idea you were taking the fake relationship with Aubrey so seriously.”

Anders scoffed. “It has nothing to do with Aubrey. I wish I’d never agreed to that farce in the first place. It’s caused nothing but headaches.”

Nathan furrowed his brows and studied Anders’ face. “You wanna tell me what’s going on? You aren’t making sense, and while you usually don’t, this is different.”

Anders shoved a beer at Nathan’s chest with a sneer and twisted the top off his own. “Tell me again why I keep you around?”

“Because no one else will put up with your bullshit.” Nathan took a swig of his beer and let out a satisfied sigh. “Now, tell me all about your troubles.”

“How about you tell me why you needed to meet with me first. Did Clarence send you here to straighten me out?”

“Yes, Clarence sent me here to talk to you, but not about your attitude. Although, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if the topic came up. He wanted me to give you the details about your next date with Aubrey.”

Anders groaned and dropped his head against the back of the couch. “Of course I have another date with her. When?”

“There’s a new club opening next Thursday. It’s supposed to be the new ‘it’ place. Tons of media coverage is expected. He’s secured you a booth.”

“Perfect.” The idea of having another date with Aubrey was less than appealing. However, Anders was marginally happier it would be a more social setting rather than another private dinner. At least he could avoid having to focus all his attention on her. He thought about how Josie would react to the news. His shoulders slumped when he realized she might not care at all because she might no longer be a part of his life.

“Okay. That’s it.” Nathan grunted as he dropped his feet to the floor and sat up. “Enough of the bullshit. I’ve always given you space, tried not to butt into your personal business, but something is going on, and I’m not leaving until you tell me. Is it your parents?”

Anders glared at Nathan. “No. This has nothing to do with them.”

“Well, the only thing I’ve seen you get pissy about lately is that costume designer, and surely you aren’t acting like this over a woman.” As soon as the words left Nathan’s mouth, a light bulb went off in his head. “It is about her.” Blowing out a heavy breath, he fell back on the couch and let out a disbelieving chuckle. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

Anders looked at his hands and ground his teeth together. After several moments of silence he mumbled a response to Nathan. “Yeah. Her name’s Josie. Josie Bane.” He laughed and shook his head. “Never has a name been more appropriate. That woman is the bane of my existence. I think I’m losing my damn mind.”

Nathan didn’t show his surprise when Anders confirmed his suspicion. He kept his tone casual, his voice low. “So I take it she’s not very happy about this thing with Aubrey, huh?”