Christine’s view of the place had changed, too, even without the superficial fixes. The place she’d seen as neglected and sad turned out to be sturdy and stubborn and full of happy secrets.
Aurora’s prayer came into her head:
May we all find here what we need.
Christine had needed a fresh start for David and to help Aurora and Bogie. She’d gotten that and more.
She’d gotten back her mother and found her father. She’d learned how to love her son better. There was the constant ache of losing Marcus, of course, a pain so deep she feared she’d never recover from it, but, as some consolation, she had Harmony House and the people and work she loved. It felt like home.
What if she stayed?
There was David and school to consider, but returning to Phoenix held risks, too. What if he wasn’t strong enough to resist his old friends and habits, including Brigitte? David had made new friends here—the twins, a few of their friends and Delia, who asked about him constantly.
Christine had heard that the high school had a great fine arts program. Hey, if New Mirage High was good enough for Susan Parsons’ perfect twins, then it was pretty damn good.
There would still be drugs, of course. As Marcus had pointed out, drugs were part of the culture. But she trusted David more. On the phone, he’d confided in her that seeing his dad come home high had made him swear off pot.
You have to be awake for your life,
he’d said, and she’d almost burst out laughing at the delicious irony of David’s fantasy father being an object lesson in why not to do drugs.
Marcus would love that. She’d tell him when he got back from L.A.
Marcus.
Just the thought of him made her heart ache. It seemed to get worse and worse as time passed instead of better.
What if they stayed?
Living at a commune meant hassles and sacrifice, but it also said something about the human spirit, about the possibility of becoming better through deliberate sharing, deliberate dependence, deliberate love.
She looked up at the fresh yellow paint, out at the lush gardens, thinking about the tentative promise, the wistful hope that was Harmony House. Why
not
stay?
It would not be a cakewalk. She might understand and appreciate Aurora more, but they would still fight. The commune was old. Things would break and fail. Hell, the electricity was still fragile and the DSL signal hinky.
What about her career? She’d planned to start her own advertising agency, but the idea seemed less urgent now.
David might throw a fit. But there were lessons for him in staying: Sometimes you belonged. Sometimes you made the best of things. Sometimes not getting what you wanted made you stronger.
She sounded like Aurora, who’d dragged Christine kicking and screaming out to the middle of nowhere because Harmony House would be good for her.
The ironies kept piling up. Harmony House hadn’t been
good
for her exactly, but it had helped shape her into who she’d become, in all her flaws, strengths and hopes.
For her, staying might give her what she’d told Bogie she wanted: to feel settled in, safe, surrounded by people she loved who loved her back, doing work that mattered.
Maybe, just maybe, staying here
was
her soul’s work.
Christine climbed into the car again and started off for David, but she watched Harmony House in her rearview mirror until it was out of sight.
In Preston, at the bus station, Christine’s excitement about seeing David turned into anxiety. Would this be weird? What would she say to him? Would he be sullen, hostile? How would she handle that?
Then, there he was, standing on the top step of the bus, blinking in the sudden sun. Her son. Her David.
Her doubts dissolved. She would know what to do and say.
He’d gotten so big! He’d only been gone a month, but he looked so much older. He was becoming a man. For a moment she couldn’t catch a breath.
He saw her, ducked his head, descended the steps and came to her. Before she could decide whether or not to try to hug him, he threw his arms around her and hugged her hard. She’d been a fool to think David would stop loving her just because he spent time with his father.
“You’re taller,” she said when he let go, her voice wobbly.
He seemed pleased by that. “Dad kind of cried when I left.”
“He loves you, David. We both do.”
“Whatever. Can we just go?” But he had to hide his smile.
The drive went fast. They talked nonstop. First, David unloaded on her about all his dad’s flaws, on and on, until she gently coaxed him into talking about the fun stuff, too. Then she told him that Bogie was his grandfather.
He sat for a long silent moment before he said, “Bogie’s cool.” Then he paused. “So he’s in my family now. Think of all the free weed I can get.”
She jerked to look at him.
“Just messin’ with you.” It was so nice to joke again, Team Waters against the world. For the moment, at least.
Two steps forward, one step back,
as Marcus had said.
“Some summer, huh?” Christine said softly. “We both found our fathers.”
David pondered that for a moment. “Yeah,” he said finally. “I guess we did.”
Soon they were at the New Mirage exit, and when they passed through town, she watched David scan the streets for friends. She smiled. Maybe he wouldn’t hate her forever when she told him they were staying.
Before long, they were pulling through the gates to Harmony House. She felt so different from when they’d arrived. She’d been uncertain about being here and worried about David. Today she was more sure of herself
and
her son.
She turned to him. “Before we go in, I want you to think about something. What if we stayed?”
“Here? You mean for good?” He stared, jaw hanging.
“We could give it a year to see how it goes. The school’s decent. The classes are small. They have a great music program.”
“Supposedly the band director did studio work in L.A., but that could be B.S. They’re all a bunch of hicks.”
“Which means you’d be the cool urban dude.”
“God. Don’t say
dude.
” He shook his head, telling her how lame she was, but he wasn’t angry. “I thought you hated this place.”
“Not anymore.” She explained the changes in her thinking, and she told him she trusted him more, that he could make more decisions for himself here.
“So I get my permit?” he asked.
“Why not?” She wasn’t above a bribe.
“No curfew?”
“I said I trusted you more, not completely.”
He sighed. “Whatever.”
“You’ll think about it then?”
He only shrugged, but that was good enough for now.
Bogie and Aurora met them at the door. “How’s my grandson?” Bogie said, walking right up to hug David hard. Aurora just beamed. Had she ever seen her mother beam before?
Bogie and Aurora had arranged a welcome-home supper for David with balloons and a sign and his favorite dessert—store-bought ice-cream cake.
After supper, Christine went out to the greenhouse to tell Bogie that she hoped to stay. Until she was certain of David, she would hold off on telling her mother.
He didn’t seem a bit surprised. “You’re happy then, Crystal?” he asked, his soft gray eyes as intense as she’d ever seen them. She remembered Aurora saying Bogie had always been a pest about happiness.
“Getting there,” she said. “Definitely getting there.” Despite the hole Marcus had left in her heart, despite her worries about David, she was on the path. “Thank you for helping me figure it out.”
She looked at his calm face full of quiet love—a love waiting for her since she was a seven-year-old in lacy anklets and patent leather shoes—and felt a rush of regret over all the lost years. “I wish I’d known you were my father before. We wasted so much time.”
“Not wasted. Waiting. We were waiting until it was right. And now it is. And you’re happy. What more could a father want?”
He would name it after Nathan.
Carlos was his field consultant and Marcus would rent a house in New Mirage for when he wasn’t traveling. He anticipated many twelve-hour days, welcomed them, in fact, since it kept him from dwelling on how much he missed Christine.
She’d e-mailed him when David returned and told him David would talk to him once Marcus got back to Harmony House. She’d changed her mind about Lady, which surprised him. Maybe her landlord had agreed to an exception. She’d saved the news for Marcus to tell David.
He’d barely unzipped his suitcase when there was a knock at his door. David with Lady. “Come in,” he said, waving him inside. “I just got here.”
“I saw you pull up. I told my mom I’d come by. You wanted to say something…?” He sounded uneasy and resentful.
“I do.” Marcus sat on a chair and patted the bed for David to sit. He did, but reluctantly. Lady lay down at his feet.
“I wanted you to know that I value your friendship. Separately from how I feel about your mother. I enjoyed the time we spent playing guitar and talking. I believe you’re a remarkable young man and—”
“Stop. It’s no big deal. I was pissed at the time, but it’s your business. And my mom’s…whatever.” He stretched his neck, his face flaming red.
“You have every right to be angry. I kept an important secret from you after asking you to be honest with me. I apologize for that. You deserved better.”
“It’s cool. Just stop, okay?” He seemed to mean that, so Marcus let it go for the time being.
“I’m here when you want to talk more about it.” He hoped he hadn’t completely destroyed David’s trust in him. “There’s one more thing. Would you like to have Lady?”
“You’re kidding! You’re giving me your dog?”
“She was never really mine. I know Nathan would want you to have her.” His throat tightened. “And she clearly loves you.”
“You hear that, girl?” David dropped to the floor and buried his face in the dog’s neck. “You’re staying with me.”
“I spoke with your mother and she approves. I assume she cleared it with your landlord.”
He looked up at Marcus. “There’s no landlord. We’re staying at Harmony House.”
“You what? You are?” Marcus was stunned. Christine was staying? Stupidly, his heart leaped in his chest.
“Mom’s making us. It’s lame, but my old school sucked. The kids know about how Brigitte scammed me, so it would be humiliating.” David shrugged. “Anyway, I’m stuck here now.”
“I’m sure you’ll make the best of it.”
“Whatever,” he said, standing. “If that’s it, I’ll go.”
“That’s it from me.”
“Yeah, so here’s what I want to say. I know I messed you up with my mom and all. She’s a good person, even if she freaks over every little thing. So give her another chance, so it’s not, like, forever my fault.”
Marcus was so moved he had to swallow to get his voice under control. “It wasn’t your fault, David. We care for each other, but we ended things for our own reasons.”
“Like what reasons?” David was as nosy as his mother.
“It’s complex, but basically, we’re not compatible.”
“So fix it. You were always after me to be a better person. Why not you?”
Marcus smiled. “It’s not that simple, David.”
“That’s just bullshit.”
Marcus burst out laughing. The boy had the same stubborn set to his jaw as Christine and the same way of locking on with his gaze. Marcus realize he loved this boy. And his mother.
And he wanted another chance with them both.
“You make a good point. I’ll talk to her when I can.”
“Soon, okay? I need her in a good mood so she’ll take me to get my driver’s permit. She’s too grumpy.”
“I’ll see what I can do. Tell you what. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll take you myself. How’s that?” Lady barked, as if in full approval.
Marcus felt like his chest would burst open. Why couldn’t he try to be better? Carlos had mentioned he seemed different with Christine. Maybe he could be.
What was he afraid of? Hurting her. Failing. Getting hurt himself. Maybe that was just bullshit, like David said.