Honeysuckle Summer (13 page)

“I canceled today’s appointment,” Raylene said testily. “Didn’t you get the message?”

“I did, but the good part about having you stuck here in the house is that I knew where to find you.”

Raylene scowled. “Was that supposed to be funny?”

“No, actually it was just an observation. Most people who cancel their appointments with me do it when they need to see me the most. I can’t always track them down.” She leveled a look into Raylene’s eyes. “Are you going to send me away?”

Raylene heaved a sigh at the daring note in her voice. “No, you can come in,” she conceded grudgingly.

“Thank you,” Dr. McDaniels replied solemnly. She
took a seat in a chair, then waited for Raylene to sit. “What happened that made you want to avoid me?”

“I just don’t think we’re going to make any more progress,” Raylene said, thinking of her disastrous outing to the patio a few days earlier. She’d managed a couple of trips outside since then, but they hadn’t lasted long.

“Is that because you went outside on your own and had a panic attack?” the psychologist asked. “I hope not, because we’ve been outside together since that happened. You were just fine.”

Raylene regarded her with dismay. “You found out about what happened on the patio?”

“I ran into Annie. She told me. I’m surprised you didn’t mention it yourself.”

“I was trying not to make a big deal out of it.”

“Then that’s not the only reason you called to cancel today’s appointment?”

Raylene hesitated. She knew it was much more than that one incident. This was all about Paul and his upcoming release. “My ex-husband may be getting out of prison soon.”

“So you’re justifiably scared,” Dr. McDaniels said. “Notice that I said
justifiably
.”

“The only place I’ve felt safe while he was
in
jail was inside this house. How can I possibly go outside, when he could show up any second?”

“There’s a restraining order?”

“If there isn’t, there will be. I have someone checking to make sure of that.” She met the doctor’s gaze. “You and I both know it won’t mean anything, not if he really wants to come after me.”

“Then you need to be prepared.”

“I want to learn to shoot a gun,” Raylene told her.

Not even Dr. McDaniels, who was trained to keep her reactions neutral, was able to cover her surprise. “That’s your solution?”

“I can’t think of another one. I have to be able to protect myself. I won’t feel powerless, not again.”

“What about having a gun in the house with children? That seems like a bad idea to me.”

Raylene hesitated. This was the hardest part of her decision, facing a future that didn’t include Sarah and the kids. “I’m going to move.”

“How?” Dr. McDaniels asked simply. “You haven’t been able to leave the house for months and months. To move, you’ll not only have to step outside, you’ll have to get in a car and go someplace entirely new, someplace that’s bound to feel less safe and secure.”

“Maybe you can drug me and someone will carry me,” she said, only half-facetiously.

“That’s one way,” the doctor acknowledged, though it didn’t sound as if she’d go along with it. “Of course, it might be better for you to take your stance right here.”

“Not if it’s going to put Sarah and her kids in danger,” Raylene said flatly. “That’s not an option.”

“What do your friends have to say about this?”

“They’re all against it,” she admitted. “Carter says he has a plan to protect me, but
I
need to do this. No one seems to understand how important it is to me to stand up to Paul once and for all.”

“Well, I can certainly understand that. I even admire your determination.” She held Raylene’s gaze. “But there’s nothing wrong with standing up to Paul and having plenty of backup nearby. We’re talking about a man who’s beaten you more than once. No one, I don’t
care how strong they are, would take chances with someone like that on their own. Even armed police officers or soldiers work with partners, and they’re trained to face danger.”

“I suppose,” Raylene said, seeing her point.

“There’s something else to consider,” Dr. McDaniels told her. “When friends want to help, sometimes it’s important to let them, as much for their sakes as for your own. It’s not a sign of weakness.”

She waited until Raylene met her gaze. “Your friend Carter, for instance. He’s a policeman. You might not have known him when Paul was abusing you, but I imagine he feels pretty awful that he wasn’t there back then.”

Raylene nodded. “He’s said that.”

“Don’t you think he wants to be here for you now?”

“But protecting me is not his responsibility.”

“He apparently thinks it is.”

Raylene knew that was true. Carter clearly felt involved in keeping her safe. She knew all about the big meeting he and the other men had held over at Travis’s. Though he hadn’t told her all the details of their plan, she knew there was one.

“If anyone got hurt because of me, I’d never forgive myself,” she said.

“And if you got hurt because they did nothing, they’d never forgive themselves,” Dr. McDaniels countered. “Protecting each other is what friends do, Raylene. It seems to me you have some very good ones. Best of all, you have at least one who actually knows how to defend you and keep you safe. I’d rather see any gun in his hand than in yours.”

There was no doubt that Dr. McDaniels had a valid
point about that. When Raylene was being totally rational, she knew that without adequate training there was a better-than-even chance she’d wind up accidentally shooting herself rather than Paul.

Dr. McDaniels stood up. “Will you think about what I’ve said?”

“Of course.”

“And will you be ready to get back on track and go outside when I come back later in the week? I think it’s time to reexamine our goals.”

Raylene regarded her with suspicion. “Meaning what?”

“You told me you used to like to garden. You also told me about the garden that Carter planted for you. Who’s been tending to that?”

“He’s been by a couple of times. So have his sisters.”

“Wouldn’t you like to take care of it yourself?”

“Did you miss the part about me falling apart last time I was out there?”

The doctor shrugged it off. “It was a setback. Don’t let it be an excuse to stop trying. When I come back, we’re going to spend a half hour out there watering and weeding, whatever it needs. Then you’re going to keep it up on your own.”

Raylene wanted to believe it was possible, but she hesitated. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to do that.”

“The only way to know is to try,” the doctor said easily. “I can be pretty persuasive when I put my mind to it.”

Raylene smiled. “Yes, I’ve seen that firsthand. You got me to let you in here today without even half trying. Who knows what you can get me to do if you’re determined.”

The psychologist chuckled at her resigned tone. “You know we started down this path to your recovery
because you were finally motivated. There’s nothing to prevent us from finishing, because I’m the one who’s motivated. I believe you’re going to get better, Raylene. It’s not until we both give up that the battle’s lost.”

Raylene smiled at her determination and optimism. “I see why Annie likes you so much.”

“There were plenty of times she hated me, too,” the doctor said candidly. “All that matters, though, is that she got well.”

“Can I ask you a question that isn’t about me?”

“Of course.”

“If I happen to know a teenage girl who could be anorexic, what should I do?”

The doctor’s gaze immediately filled with concern. “Do her parents know?”

“Her parents are dead. Her older brother’s her guardian, and he suspects, too.”

“Do you think she’s ready to admit she has a problem?”

Raylene shook her head. “I thought maybe she was, a couple of weeks ago. She was asking me what it was like to see a psychologist, but then she backed off. Since then, she’s been avoiding me when she can.”

“Can you contact her?”

“I can try,” she said, though Carrie had avoided her prior calls.

“Then try,” the psychologist said. “Push her to get help, gently, of course, and make sure her brother knows not to wait too long before insisting on getting her help if she doesn’t do it willingly.”

“Thanks. I’ll do that. Does she need to get into a program at the hospital, the way Annie did? Or can she just work with you?”

“I won’t be able to answer that until I see her.”

“Okay, then. I’ll do what I can to get her to see you.” In fact, maybe she could kill two birds with one stone, by seeking Carrie’s help with her own recovery. Perhaps if they worked side by side in the garden, if Carrie saw that seeing Dr. McDaniels had helped her, Carrie would not only feel comfortable enough to confide in her again, but feel hopeful about what seeing a doctor could accomplish.

“Whatever you do, don’t wait too long,” Dr. McDaniels advised. “You remember what it was like for Annie.”

“I know,” Raylene said. “That’s why I’m so scared for this girl.”

And for Carter, who’d never be able to forgive himself if anything happened to his sister when he could have done something to prevent it.

R
ory Sue stood defiantly in the middle of the office at the radio station, hands on hips, eyes flashing. Her posture and the drape of her dress made her look like some kind of goddess, Walter thought. A very angry goddess. He had to admit the sight was impressive.

“You are not putting this off one more minute, Walter Price. I found the perfect house for you, and you keep making excuses not to see it. What is your problem?”

Walter wished he could explain it. At first he’d avoided all the appointments Rory Sue tried to schedule because he hadn’t wanted to give in yet again to the kind of reckless passion she stirred up in him. Lately, though, it was something else. He hadn’t been able to put a name to it.

When he remained silent, she heaved a sigh and sat down in a swivel chair and propelled herself across the room until they were sitting knee to knee. He wanted to back away because he couldn’t think straight when she was that close, but there was no place to go.

“Talk to me,” she said, her voice gentler and less demanding. “I thought we were getting close. That night we spent together was amazing, but you’ve been avoiding being alone with me ever since.”

“I took you to the Fourth of July picnic,” he reminded her, recalling the shock on Sarah’s face when the two of them had arrived together. Apparently Raylene hadn’t bothered to mention the invitation to her. Though it had posed an awkward moment, it was probably better that she hadn’t been given a chance to nix the idea.

Rory Sue didn’t seem to be impressed with his gesture. She rolled her eyes. “And then you spent the entire day as far away from me as you could possibly get. Is that because of the way Sarah reacted? She’s your
ex-wife
, for goodness’ sakes. Her opinion shouldn’t count anymore.”

“It’s not about that. I wanted you to spend time with Sarah, Raylene and Annie. You need friends.”

She regarded him incredulously. “You were treating the barbecue like some kind of grown-up playdate?”

He winced at the accusation. It sounded stupid when she put it that way. In fact, it sounded patronizing. “Sorry. I was trying to help. You’ve said before that you don’t have a lot of friends, particularly women friends.”

“So you figured you needed to rush in and fix that? I don’t need a knight in shining armor, Walter. I just want someone I connect with emotionally and physically.” She studied him thoughtfully. “Or was this another way to avoid spending time with me yourself? Did you decide you’re not interested, after all?”

“Of course not,” he said, regretting it the instant the words left his lips, because of the way her expression immediately brightened. He sighed. “I was just trying to help. That’s all.”

“Okay, maybe I get that you meant well that day, but what about since then? Why have you been
avoiding me? You can tell me if you’ve changed your mind about the house, or even about me, for that matter.” She gave him a wicked grin. “But I don’t think I’m the problem.”

“Actually you are,” he said, deciding he had no choice but to be candid. His excuses were only making a mess of things.

She backed away so fast, she nearly tilted over. “Me?” she said, looking hurt. “What did I do?”

Walter took a deep breath, then said, “You’ve stirred up some feelings in me that I really don’t want to have.”

“You don’t want to have sex? Mind-blowing sex, I might add.”

He allowed himself a grin at her incredulous expression. “No, I definitely want to have sex. I just don’t want it to matter quite so much.”

In fact, if he had to put a name to his behavior, it would be fear. He was terrified he was getting in too deep way too fast, just the way he had with Sarah. He suspected if he and Sarah had had time to think things through, a lot of their decisions would have been different. Not that Sarah was impulsive or free-spirited like Rory Sue. They were opposites, in fact, but he was still the same guy who got sex and love all tangled up in his head and thought it all should be forever.

Rory Sue looked bewildered. “I thought we were just having a casual fling.”

“You see, that’s the thing,” he said. “I don’t do casual flings. I get involved. It’s the way I was brought up.”

“And you never once rebelled? You never figured out you can sleep with someone just for fun?”

“Apparently not.” Respect for women had been ingrained in him. It was ironic, really, given the lack of
respect his parents and, ultimately, he had shown for Sarah.

It looked as if understanding was beginning to dawn for Rory Sue, because there was a faint hint of the same panic he felt in her eyes.

“And you think you’re getting too emotionally involved with me?” she said, as if trying to be clear.

“Afraid so.”

“I see,” she said slowly. “But what does that have to do with looking at houses?”

“Remember how anxious I was to get out of that last place you showed me?”

“Sure. I thought you just hated the wallpaper. It was a little freaky.”

He grinned as he recalled the formal, dark brown, flocked wallpaper that made every room look closed in and depressing. “I did, but despite that, I kept imagining the two of us living there. I could practically see you in the kitchen cooking dinner when I got home from work.”

“Then your imagination definitely needs to be reined in,” she said with a shudder. “I don’t cook, at least not anything that can’t be nuked.”

He chuckled at her horrified expression. “Yes, I’ve gathered that, which just shows how delusional I can be.”

“Now, if you were getting any wild ideas about me in the bedroom, that would be different,” she teased.

“Believe me, I could envision us in there, too, and in that big old tub in the bathroom, and pretty much everywhere I looked.”

“I think I’m beginning to see the problem,” she told him, amusement lurking in her eyes. “How about this?
Today I’ll just wait in the car. You can walk through the house all by yourself.”

“I don’t think that’s going to solve anything,” he said. “You’re still going to be in my head.” In fact, she was in his head so much and so vividly, he couldn’t sleep.

“Well, we need to figure out something, because this house is perfect for you. In fact, if it weren’t so perfect for you, I’d buy it myself.”

He stared at her. “That is the last thing you should have said. Now I really will envision you in every room. Maybe you should just buy it. If you have your own place and I can think about you there, maybe I won’t see you in every room of the houses you’re showing me.”

“Even I know that’s wishful thinking,” she said. Her tone turned brisk. “Come on, Walter, suck it up. Focus on Tommy and Libby. You want them to have a great place, don’t you? They have to be sick to death of visiting you at the Serenity Inn. There’s no room to play there, and this house has an amazing backyard. It even has an old tire swing hanging from a tree and room enough for Libby to practice T-ball.”

“Tommy’s the one—” he started to say, but she cut him off with a sharp look that reminded him a lot of both Sarah and Raylene.

“Haven’t you noticed yet that your daughter is determined to please you?” she asked with a touch of impatience. “Even I, without a single maternal bone in my body, can see she’s dying to get better at T-ball so you’ll notice her.”

All of her arguments—about Tommy and Libby and about the house—made sense. This place did sound
ideal for his family. He stood up. “Let’s go,” he said grimly. “You’ll stay in the car.”

“If that’s what it takes,” she agreed.

What the heck! It might work.

At least until he got to the bedrooms.

When Carter stopped by Wharton’s for a burger in the middle of his shift, Grace was so busy, she barely spared him a glance, much less her usual chatty greeting.

“Cheeseburger, fries and regular iced tea?” she said as she passed by with an armload of meals for another table.

“That’ll do,” Carter said, relieved that he hadn’t had his heart set on something else. Clearly she was distracted and out of patience.

By the time she returned with his meal, the pace had settled down a bit and she took time to look him over.

“You look about worn out,” she said. “Busy day? I haven’t heard about any trouble.”

“And you would know, wouldn’t you?” he teased. “No, it’s been quiet. I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Those sisters of yours probably give you quite a time, don’t they?” she said, squeezing into the booth opposite him, her expression compassionate. “Every teenager in town comes through here at one time or another during the week, so I know them all.”

Something in her voice suggested to Carter that there was more on her mind. “The girls haven’t given you any kind of a problem, have they?” He couldn’t help thinking about kids who turned to shoplifting as a cry for attention or just for a lark.

“Heavens, no! Not the way you mean,” she said, ob
viously guessing his meaning at once. “I have noticed that the older girl—Carrie, isn’t it?—she doesn’t eat much. I probably wouldn’t pay any attention, but after what happened with Annie all those years ago, I’m more alert to that kind of thing with the teenage girls who come in here regularly. Just thought you should know.”

“I appreciate you taking an interest,” Carter told her.

“You know, I could use some extra help in here this summer, if she’s looking for something to do to earn a little money. I could maybe keep an eye on her at the same time. Maybe she’ll open up to me.”

Carter regarded her with gratitude. “That’s a very generous offer, Grace. I appreciate it. I’ll mention it to Carrie.”

“You do that,” Grace said, standing up. “Now eat your burger before it gets cold. I have customers who are starting to look a little antsy. Better see what they need.”

Carter chewed his burger thoughtfully. He didn’t know yet just how serious Carrie’s problem might be, but it seemed if she was in trouble, they couldn’t be living in a better, more caring place. He doubted his sister would think much of all the well-meant meddling, but he did. It reassured him that he’d made the right decision moving here.

After having a houseful of people on the Fourth of July and an appointment with Dr. McDaniels the day before, the peace and quiet the next day were making Raylene a little stir-crazy. With Sarah, Travis and the kids all out of the house on an overnight trip to Myrtle Beach, the silence felt oppressive. Worse, she hadn’t heard a word from Carter. The fact that it mattered after
all those rational arguments she’d given him for not moving their relationship to the next level really annoyed her.

On top of that, ever since she’d heard the news about Paul, she’d been jumpier than ever. He might not be out of prison yet, but he might as well be for the way her nerves were shot. The slightest noise rattled her.

Earlier she’d tried going to bed, but she hadn’t been able to settle down, so she’d pulled on an old robe and gone back into the living room. She’d turned on every light, fixed herself a glass of wine and found a book she hoped would be so dull it would knock her right out. None of that had worked either.

It was closing in on midnight when the doorbell rang, scaring her so badly she knocked over what was left of her wine.

She crossed the living room slowly, regretting that there was no peephole to indicate who was on the other side of the door.

“Who’s there?” she called out, trying not to let her voice shake.

“Carter.”

She threw open the door and had to resist the desire to throw herself straight into his arms. He looked so solid and reassuring in his uniform, and way too sexy for this hour of the night.

“You’re on duty,” she said, stepping aside to let him in.

“Just got off,” he responded. “I was driving past and saw every light in the house on. I thought there might be a problem.”

She regarded him sheepishly. “Sarah and Travis took the kids to Myrtle Beach. I got jumpy.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“And say what, that I’m too chicken to be left alone in the house at my age?”

“Or just that you wouldn’t mind some company,” he said. “That would be enough to get me over here.”

“But this way I didn’t have to humiliate myself by saying a word,” she said.

He shook his head. “That pride of yours is going to get you in trouble one of these days.” He spotted the wineglass on its side. “Did the drink help?”

“Most of it’s on the floor,” she told him. “But what I did drink didn’t do a thing to mellow me out.”

“How about a cup of chamomile tea? My mother used to swear by that.”

“I think there’s some in the kitchen,” she said, leading the way. “My mother was a warm-milk person, but to be honest, I’m pretty sure she laced it with booze.”

“We could go that route, too,” he said, but Raylene shook her head.

She found the tea bags for him, while he put water on to boil.

“Are you wide awake just because you’re alone in the house, or do you have something on your mind?” he asked as he poured boiling water over the tea bag, then handed her the cup.

“Mostly Paul,” she said.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Then I’ll never get to sleep. Tell me about your day, instead.” She sat across from him and sipped her tea, while he drank a beer he’d snagged from the refrigerator. She liked that he’d started to feel comfortable here, that he knew his way around. There was an intimacy to his actions that somehow warmed her. She could envision a future of nights just like this.

When he told her about his fight with Carrie, and then Grace’s observations and her offer to give Carrie a job, Raylene smiled.

“Grace means well, but do you really think a girl with food issues is going to want to work waiting on tables?”

“Probably not, but don’t you think it’s better than having her sit around at home all summer? She needs to do something, make some friends, maybe even earn her own money so she can feel a little independent. Don’t you think that might help with her self-confidence?”

Raylene thought about it. “I hadn’t looked at it that way. It might. Anyway, it should be her decision, not mine. Carrie might love the idea. Just don’t be too disappointed if she doesn’t.” She hesitated, then added, “If she doesn’t, I might have an idea of my own.”