Honeysuckle Summer (17 page)

He studied her intently, then asked, “Do you feel as if I’m pressuring you for sex?”

“No, absolutely not. You’ve been wonderful. You’ve been incredibly patient, but come on, Carter. Every man expects to have sex sooner or later with the woman he’s seeing.”

“
Hopes
for,” he corrected. “And I do want you, but there’s no rush, Raylene. When it comes to that, you’re in charge of the timetable.”

Raylene regarded him with a sense of wonder. “Do you have any idea how amazing you are?”

His lips twitched. “Maybe I’m one of those fully evolved men you women are always hoping to find.”

“You are,” she concurred. “I’m so lucky you came into my life.”

He shook his head. “I’m the lucky one.” He hesitated, then asked, “Can I tell you something?”

She nodded. “Of course. Anything.”

“I used to basically roar through life, dating any
woman who appealed to me, never thinking for a minute about the next day or the next week, much less the future. I didn’t have the patience to stay with any woman for long. I got bored pretty easily.”

“In other words, you were a typical bachelor,” she said.

“Pretty much,” he agreed. “And then my folks died. Not only was that devastating and a huge wake-up call that life doesn’t last forever, but I suddenly had this huge responsibility. It was overwhelming.”

“But you’ve coped with it,” she said. “You’ve adapted and changed your life to do what’s best for your sisters.”

He shook his head. “You’re wrong. I didn’t adapt all that well, to be honest. At least not at first. I was resentful. I was furious with God for taking my parents and leaving me to figure out how to relate in a totally new way to Carrie and Mandy. I was impatient with them, even though I knew they were grieving. I was barely getting from one day to the next. I was scared all the time that I’d mess things up. Still am. But now I’m here. That helped, just settling in this town.”

He looked into her eyes. “And then I met you.”

“A blessing or a curse?” she asked, her heart in her throat.

“How can you even ask that? You’re the biggest blessing in my life. You’ve grounded me. You’ve provided backup when I need it.”

He hesitated, then traced the curve of her cheek with a touch so gentle, so filled with yearning, that it nearly brought her to tears.

His gaze locked with hers. “You’ve taught me patience, which is pretty darn close to a miracle in my book.”

“I’ve done all that?” she asked, incredulous.

“And more,” he said. “Because of you, I have a lot more faith that I’m going to get through what’s going on with Carrie, that she will get healthy again.”

His hand still rested against her cheek, his gaze held steady. “So, if you need time, you’ve got it, because I know with every fiber of my being that you’re worth it.”

Walter had been communicating with Rory Sue by e-mail and through voice messages. He was very proud of the way he’d managed to avoid any tempting face-to-face contact with her for a couple of weeks now.

Unfortunately, if the goal had been to get her out of his head, it had failed abysmally. She was there 24–7, taunting him like one of those mythical Sirens who supposedly lured ships to crash against rocky cliffs. She was certainly playing havoc with his resolve.

He was sitting alone in Rosalina’s, alone with yet another pizza and a beer, when Sarah slid into the booth opposite him. “This is just downright pitiful,” she said, regarding him with a knowing expression.

“What?” he asked defensively.

“You in here all alone when you know you’d rather be on a date with Rory Sue.” Before he could reply, she went on. “I’m not a big fan of hers, but even I can see the sparks between you two. Why aren’t you doing anything about it?”

He gave her an odd look. “It feels really weird to be discussing my love life, or lack thereof, with my ex-wife.”

“Oh, get over yourself. We used to be friends, too, when you weren’t so busy being hateful to me.”

He smiled at her newfound ability to call things as she saw them. “You’ve changed.”

“I certainly hope so. Now, tell me why you’re here all alone instead of with her.”

“Because of you, to be honest.”

She looked taken aback by the claim. “Come on. We’ve been over for a very long time.”

He grinned. “But our marriage left a lasting impression,” he said. “I blew it big-time with you. I’ve been sort of hoping not to do that again.”

She looked confused. “So your plan is to, what? Avoid all women?”

“Heaven forbid,” he said. “No, I’m just trying not to rush into anything the way I did with you. I fell head over heels the day we met and never looked back.”

“It went both ways, you know.”

He nodded. “And look how that turned out.”

She gave his hand a sympathetic squeeze. “The problem isn’t that we fell in love, Walter. It’s that we didn’t try hard enough to make it last. Honestly, it’s sort of sweet the way you give your heart so easily, instead of running scared the way a lot of men do. Now you just have to learn to work through the rough patches.” She grinned, then added, “And maybe avoid your parents.”

He laughed. “I’m thinking that last one is the critical point.”

“So, give Rory Sue a call. Just because you get involved with her doesn’t mean you have to rush straight into marriage. Take your time.”

“Why do you sound as if there’s some urgency to this?”

“Because if I know one thing about Rory Sue, it’s that she’s not a patient woman. If you keep her at arm’s
length for too long, she’ll find some other man who won’t.”

“Then it wasn’t meant to be, was it?”

She sighed at his obstinance. “Is that what you’re doing, testing her? Because if it is, you’re going to lose, Walter. And it won’t be because she doesn’t care for you. It’ll be because she believes you don’t love her. Playing games is a waste of time. Only immature fools do it.” She met his gaze. “Except when it came to me, you’re no fool.”

She walked away to rejoin Travis across the room, leaving him with plenty to think about. But, instead of thinking, he grabbed his cell phone and dialed.

“Hey, Rory Sue,” he said, brightening at the welcome he heard in her voice. “You interested in meeting me at Rosalina’s? I’ll have the pizza and beer waiting.”

“I have a better idea,” she said at once. “Why don’t you bring it over here. My folks are out of town with the baby. We’ll have the whole house to ourselves.”

His head wanted to refuse, but this time, with Sarah’s words echoing, he went with his heart. “I’ll be right there.”

He just prayed he wouldn’t regret it in the morning.

I
n an effort to keep busy, Raylene tackled the job she most hated in the kitchen, cleaning out the refrigerator. Too many leftovers got ignored until they turned into something unidentifiable. Wrinkling her nose, she was tossing the contents of yet another disposable container when there was a tentative knock on the kitchen door. When she opened it, she found Mandy outside, her face streaked with tears.

“Can I come in?” she asked, her voice hoarse from crying.

At Raylene’s nod, she all but threw herself into Raylene’s arms.

“Carrie won’t even speak to me,” she said between great, gulping sobs. “We promised to stick together and now she thinks I’ve betrayed her. I’m her sister and she hates me!”

“She doesn’t hate you,” Raylene soothed, urging her into a chair. She pulled her own chair close and held on tightly to Mandy’s hands as she looked into her eyes. “Right now she’s mad at the world. She doesn’t want to admit she has an eating disorder, so she’s blaming everyone else because she has to see a psy
chologist. You do know this is the very best thing for her, right?”

“I guess,” Mandy said with a sniff. “It’s just that we’ve always been a team, just the two of us, even before Mom and Dad died. Carter was gone, but we had each other’s backs, you know?”

“I never had a sister or brother, so I don’t know firsthand, but I always had Sarah and Annie. It was a little bit like that with the three of us. We stuck up for each other. And when I was in trouble, even though it had been a long time since we’d been in touch, they were still the ones I turned to. I knew I could count on them.”

“So you get it,” Mandy said. “Why doesn’t Carrie see she can count on me? Instead, it’s like I don’t even exist for her anymore.”

“That’s temporary, I promise,” Raylene consoled her. “Carrie will get her feet back under her. She’ll figure out that you and Carter were both doing what’s best for her. She’ll forgive you, and then things will go back to being the way they used to be between you.”

Mandy heaved a sigh. “I hope so.” She regarded Raylene with a wistful expression. “Do you think I could work in your garden for a while? I know Carrie was supposed to help you, but I need something to do, and gardening makes me feel better. I’ve already yanked out pretty much everything I could in ours at home.”

“Gardening always made me feel better, too,” Raylene said. “Go on out there and weed to your heart’s content. Be careful not to stay outside too long, though. It’s a scorcher today. Take some bottled water with you.”

“I’ll be careful,” Mandy promised, looking happier
already. “Are you sure you don’t want to help? It’s not far and I’d be right there with you.”

Raylene hesitated. She had been out twice now with Dr. McDaniels, and it had gone well both times. Did she dare risk it with Mandy? What if she had a meltdown? If she at least tried, though, it would be another step toward her recovery. And Mandy obviously needed the company.

She took a deep breath, then said, “You know, I think I will come with you. Let me get us a couple of drinks and I’ll be right out.”

Mandy’s expression brightened. “Really? You’ll come?”

“I’m going to give it my best shot.”

“Cool. Do I need to do anything, you know, to make it easier?”

Raylene smiled at her eagerness to help. “No. Just having you here should help.” Her expression sobered. “Mandy, if I start hyperventilating or having one of my panic attacks, will you be okay? I don’t want to scare you to death.”

Mandy straightened. “Just tell me what to do.”

“Take my hand and help me back inside. That’s all. I’ll be fine.”

“Got it,” Mandy said confidently and bounded outside, as if the prospect of Raylene having a panic attack was no big deal.

Raylene grabbed two bottled waters and followed her onto the patio, albeit more slowly. She joined Mandy at the edge of the garden, kneeling on the warm ground and carefully pulling the nearby weeds. The sun soaking into her shoulders felt wonderful. The air was steamy, but filled with the heady scent of roses.

Beside her, Mandy was quiet, concentrating on
pulling weeds, not flowers. Even though she worked quickly, it was evident how careful she was being not to harm the flowers.

Even though Raylene felt the familiar comfort of nurturing such beautiful plants, she envied Mandy the ability to lose herself in the simple task. A part of Raylene kept waiting for the first wave of panic to hit. When it didn’t, even after a half hour, she told herself that staying any longer would be pushing her luck.

She stood up, eyeing what she’d accomplished with satisfaction. Mandy’s efforts were even more impressive.

“You’re really good at this,” she told the young teenager.

Mandy looked skeptical. “It’s not exactly rocket science. I’m just yanking weeds. No big deal.”

“Any job is worth doing well,” Raylene reminded her. “Be proud of what you do, whether it’s weeding a garden or schoolwork or rocket science. I’m going in to start dinner. Laurie will be home soon with Tommy and Libby. Would you like to stay?”

Mandy’s expression brightened. “Can I?”

“If it’s okay with Carter, of course you can.”

“I’ll call him as soon as I come inside and wash up. I need a little while longer to finish.” Suddenly she beamed at Raylene. “You stayed out here almost as long as me!”

Raylene grinned back at her. “I know. Pretty cool, huh?”

Back inside, she started on dinner preparations. She put together a casserole of mac and cheese with bits of onion and browned hamburger. She cringed at the thought of all the cholesterol involved, but it was the kind
of comfort food kids Mandy’s age still loved. With a salad, she could pretend the meal was reasonably healthy.

She’d just put the casserole into the oven to bake, when Mandy came into the house with a piece of trailing vine in her hand and a worried expression on her face. “I pulled this out, but then I realized it has these amazingly sweet little flowers on it. Is it a weed or not?”

Raylene stared at the honeysuckle with a bemused expression. She’d never noticed any in the yard before, not when she’d visited Sarah as a kid and not since she’d been back. It was usually hard to miss because it could take over in no time.

Honeysuckle had been the bane of her existence in Charleston, left over from the home’s previous owner, and coming back no matter how many times she thought she’d rid the garden of the last of it. Its sweet scent and tenacity had eventually overcome her distaste for the disorder it created.

“It’s honeysuckle,” she told Mandy. “I have no idea where it came from. I’ve never seen it in the yard before.”

“Blame me,” Carter said, walking into the kitchen in time to overhear.

She stared at him incredulously. “You planted it? Who does that?”

He shrugged. “You talked about it being in your garden in Charleston, and then I happened to find some growing over the fence in our yard. Even though you acted like it was this huge annoyance, I thought I’d heard something in your voice. I thought maybe you actually liked the battle.”

She was stunned that he’d gotten that from the one
occasion when she’d mentioned her garden. It was just more evidence of what a wonder he was…a man who actually listened to the details of a conversation. “I think maybe I did like the battle,” she admitted.

He gave her a sheepish look. “I had this crazy idea that if honeysuckle started taking over out back, you wouldn’t be able to stand it, that you’d run out there and yank it out yourself.”

Mandy was staring at both of them as if they’d gone a little crazy. “So, do I leave it in, or pull it out? There’s more. It’s way in back along the fence.”

Raylene met Carter’s gaze. He looked so hopeful, as if he’d given her more than an uncontrollable vine, as if he’d provided the lure to get her out of the house once and for all. It was a lot to expect from honeysuckle.

Then, again, perhaps there was a lesson to be learned from the plant’s tenacity.

“Leave it,” she said softly.

Maybe one of these days, it could do what nothing else had. If so, she’d never again regard it as a nuisance. Instead, it would become her summer miracle.

Carter watched Carrie’s expression as Dr. McDaniels introduced her to the nutritionist. The woman was young and a little offbeat in a way that should have appealed to his sister, but as understanding dawned about the reason for the woman’s presence, Carrie grew increasingly sullen. She turned to him.

“You knew about this, didn’t you?” she accused. “You knew they were going to blindside me like this.”

He nodded.

“Why didn’t you warn me?” she demanded, a deep sense of betrayal in her voice.

“We both know that would have been a bad idea,” he responded quietly. “You would have refused to come.”

“Yes, I would have,” she said, her voice rising in anger. “Because I don’t need some stranger monitoring every bite of food I put into my mouth.”

Carter held her gaze. “Yes, you do.”

Dr. McDaniels had allowed the exchange to run its course before stepping in. “Carrie, I know that deep down you know you need someone to help you develop a healthier eating pattern. You’ve turned food into an enemy. If that behavior keeps up, it will make you very ill.”

“And I’ll die,” Carrie said flatly. “Yeah, I’ve heard it before.”

The nutritionist sat down beside her. “And what? You don’t believe that’s a possibility?”

“Maybe I
want
to die!” Carrie retorted, shocking Carter so badly he felt himself turning numb.

The two professionals, however, took her angry words in stride.

“Because then you’d be with your mom and dad, right?” Dr. McDaniels asked gently.

Tears flowed down Carrie’s cheeks as she nodded.

Carter had never felt so helpless in his life. He looked to the psychologist to see if it would be okay for him to speak. At her nod, he hunkered down in front of his sister. Because she was almost sixteen and mostly behaved in a mature way, he sometimes forgot that she was still a young girl who’d lost her mom and dad and was still struggling to find her way.

“Carrie, do you know how awful it would be for me and Mandy if we lost you?” he said, holding tight to her ice-cold hands and willing her to absorb his warmth and to feel the love he felt for her.

“You don’t want me or Mandy,” she said. “We messed up your life.”

“You
changed
my life,” he amended. “You didn’t mess it up. It’s so much better because the two of you are with me. I don’t think I’d realized just how much I missed being with family until you and Mandy came to live with me. Nothing matters more to me than your happiness and Mandy’s. It kills me to think you’re so unhappy that you’d rather die than be with us.”

“But we’re a lot of trouble,” she argued. “Especially me.”

“Which is why we’re here. Do you think if I didn’t care about you, I’d be insisting on this therapy? You have such an amazing, bright future ahead of you. I want you to get better and experience every minute of it. I want to be there when you graduate from college, and I want to dance at your wedding, and then come to the inaugural ball when you get to be president!”

She stared at him incredulously, then to his delight, she giggled. The sound was something he’d almost forgotten.

“I think you can cross that last one off your list,” she said, then whispered, “But I do want you to dance with me at my wedding.”

“Then you need to believe that Dr. McDaniels and the nutritionist are going to help make sure that happens,” he told her. “Will you please, please listen to them, instead of fighting them every step of the way?”

She blinked back a fresh batch of tears. “You won’t give up on me?”

“Never,” he said fiercely. “You, me and Mandy, we’re a team. I know it was always just the two of you, but I’m here now, and I am always on your side. If one
of us is in trouble, the other two will be there. That’s the way it works. I promise.”

She threw herself off the chair and into his arms. “I love you, Carter.”

She felt so fragile and thin in his arms, he was almost scared to hug her too tightly, but he did. She needed to feel the strength of his love, to believe in it. Right now, it was all he had to give her.

Because Carrie’s recovery was at such a critical stage, Carter knew he needed to monitor every meal. He couldn’t rely on Mandy to do it. He didn’t want her in the position of becoming a tattletale against her sister. Even though Carrie now seemed to grasp that the program was meant to help her, she still had more than a few moments when she rebelled angrily against being watched so closely.

After taking a couple of days off so he could keep a closer eye on his sister, he finally managed to make a quick stop at Raylene’s to fill her in on what was going on. “If I don’t get by here as much, it’s not because I don’t want to,” he assured her.

“It’s just that right now Carrie needs you,” she said, her voice filled with understanding, though her expression had turned bleak as he talked. “If there’s anything I can do, let me know.”

“I think we need to handle this as a family,” he said, and watched as a light died in Raylene’s eyes.

“Of course,” she murmured.

He knew at once that he should have chosen his words more carefully, but he didn’t have time now to explain. Even as they sat there, he could feel her pulling away from him without moving an inch. Frustrated and
torn, he struggled with the decision that had brought him over here.

“Let me explain. Carrie’s in a real crisis, Raylene. It’s even worse than I thought.” When Carrie had even hinted that she wanted to die, it had terrified him. He felt he had to be there every minute until he knew with a hundred percent certainty that she was on a path to a full recovery and not sinking into a despair that could take her away from him forever.

“Carter, believe me, I get that,” she said.

“I’ll call you so much, you’ll probably get sick of hearing from me,” he promised, knowing it was small consolation for the visits that they’d both come to count on.

She regarded him doubtfully.

Aware that he was running out right when he needed to stay and reassure her that this was only temporary, he glanced at his watch and knew he had no choice. He was on duty in a half hour.